Shotgun Wedding: Part IV
By Emania

A/N: Dude…haven't y'all caught on yet?

Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi. Except for Pinky, Green, the Elder (very creative names, ne?) and Hikari. I made them up. And the basic plot idea came from, as I said above, Lavern & Shirley and Happy Days creators and writers, which I don't know who they are.

Summary: How far will the girls go to get their guys out of trouble? All the way up to the altar!

Shotgun Wedding
"I'm sure sometimes on the sly you do it
Maybe even you and I might do it
Let's do it…
Let's fall in love!"
- Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love), Cole Porter

Part IV

Miroku nearly choked on his tea when Kagome and Sango appeared. He didn't fail to notice that although Inuyasha attempted to be nonchalant, his head had snapped up fast enough to cause whiplash in a normal human being when he smelled Kagome approach.

"They look beautiful," Miroku whispered.

"Keep your eyes on your own fiancé, bouzo," Inuyasha growled.

Miroku smirked. "Not even a husband yet and already displaying jealous tendencies, Inuyasha?"

Inuyasha blushed, but only scowled deeper. "Keh," he answered.

"Yes, as I thought."

"Hasn't this gone on long enough, monk?" Inuyasha whispered fiercely to him.

Miroku took another sip of his tea as he watched the girls be ceremonially led among the group of women waiting to touch them and offer their blessings. "Do you see another way out of this?"

Inuyasha keh-ed once again. "I could take Kagome and go and you could take Sango on Kirara. Or we could fight out way out, I don't understand why you haven't wanted to…"

"I told you I felt something strange here."

"Well," Inuyasha tore his gaze away from Kagome to glare at him. "Don't you think it's time you told me what it was?"

"I believe it is a shard…it has the same aura, but not negative…rather the way it feels when someone good holds the shard and does not use it."

"A shard!" Inuyasha exclaimed on a whisper.

Miroku nodded. "I cannot be certain until I ask Kagome-sama."

Inuyasha's gaze flicked to Kagome as she received the blessings of the old women of the village as she approached. Her gaze caught his and something in it was equal parts uncomfortable and welcoming. What did she really think about all this? As he understood it, a girl's wedding was a pretty big deal and here she was, being forced to marry him. He shook himself out of the thought. A shard would make sense as to why she hadn't insisted they get out no matter what. "Keh," he sighed, under his breath.

"Would it be so bad to marry Kagome, then, Inuyasha?" Miroku pressed, looking at him.

Inuyasha rose his chin and purposefully looked away.

Inuyasha was silent for so long that Miroku was beginning to think he wouldn't even deign him with an answer, when suddenly he scoffed.

"She's too young to marry," he finally answered.

Miroku looked at him, surprised. "She is of child-bearing age and skillful at taking care of herself and you, I might add," Miroku argued.

Inuyasha reached out and smacked him in the gut quickly and quietly, his hands back in the bad bindings before their 'guards', who were standing nearby and too enthralled with watching the two beautiful women still making their way amongst the crowd, were any the wiser. "In her time, bouzo," Inuyasha hissed.

"Ah, yes," Miroku nodded, narrowing his eyes at his friend. "But I note that you did not deny it…"

Inuyasha glared at him. "What about you?" Inuyasha countered "I thought you were waiting to be rid of your curse before you settled down?" His eyes narrowed. "Sango is part of my pack now, you realize, and I will tear off your arm and beat you with the bloody end before I watch you sleeze around with other women if you marry her."

Miroku looked at Inuyasha in complete awe. He was serious. "And am I not your pack as well, Inuyasha?" Miroku asked.

"Keh," Inuyasha hmphed. "Doesn't mean I won't beat you to a pulp if I hafta."

Miroku smiled. "You are like family to me too, Inuyasha."

"Feh," Inuyasha mumbled.

Before Miroku could comment any further, they were prodded to stand by their elderly guards.

Miroku met Sango's eyes across the clearing where she and Kagome were standing in front of the Village Elder waiting for them to approach and he smiled so sweetly it made Sango blanch.

"I do not like the look on Hoshi-sama's face," Sango whispered to Kagome.

Kagome glanced at Miroku and almost laughed aloud at the look of smugness on his features. He looked like the proverbial cat that had eaten the canary. Figuring that Sango would not like to be analogized to a canary, Kagome kept that comment to herself. "He looks almost happy, doesn't he?" Kagome whispered back.

"That's what I'm afraid of…" Sango glanced at Kagome and she looked pale and almost afraid. "You don't think Hoshi-sama really believes this is the real thing, do you?"

Kagome couldn't keep the smile from her face at her friend's expression. "You might want to consider calling him Miroku," she teased, shrugging. "Considering."

Sango inhaled sharply. "Don't throw up, Sango!" Kagome whispered fiercely. "You'll ruin the dress!"

Sango realized that Kagome was teasing her and her eyes narrowed, some of the stress leaving her features. "I just realized something, Kagome-chan," Sango whispered.

"What's that?" Kagome asked.

"I really hate Kikyou, too."

Kagome looked at her friend and at her seriousness, grinned. "Welcome to the club."

They were gently prodded to continue walking and Kagome's grin faded into a slightly worried look of her own. She faced the head of the crowd where the elder waited. "He's going to marry us?" Kagome asked.

Sango looked at Kagome. "Yes, of course…there aren't monks or priestesses in every village, so the elder serves the role of father figure marrying the people."

As a thought came to her, Kagome smiled again. "Sweet!" she exclaimed under her breath.

"What?" Sango questioned.

"If it's not really a religious person marrying us, then we're not really married!" she whispered to her. "See? The village elder could serve that role for his village, but not for me who's not from his village, get it?"

Sango slowly nodded. "Yes, of course!" With this thought, Sango finally managed a smile.

Kagome and Sango were made to stop before the elder and wait while the boys were led into position, still tied hand and foot. "Do they really have to remain tied up like that?" Kagome demanded of the elder. "This really does nothing for my self-esteem, y'know."

"It's alright, Kagome-sama," Miroku told them. "A minor price to pay," he assured her with a wink.

"F'getit," Inuyasha mumbled through pressed lips. "It's fine."

Kagome turned to see him standing next to her and her heart skipped a beat as the symbolism of the moment got to her. However much she told herself it was fake, she couldn't help but think…after all, every girl thinks about her wedding, doesn't she? She frowned. And this was not the way she had pictured hers…not by a long shot.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing her mood.

"Do you have to ask?" she countered.

"Right," Inuyasha blushed and looked away. "Sorry for getting you in this situation, it must suck having to marry someone like this."

His sudden heartfelt apology caught Kagome off guard and she blushed as well, realizing what her comment might have sounded like. "It's not the company that bothers me," she whispered back. "It's the lack of control over it that does." She refused to look at him to see what his expression might have been. "But there's a jewel shard here…" she tried to extend her senses. "Behind us and to the left a little…" she chanced a glance but there were so many people, she couldn't see it, just feel it. "The glow's coming from back behind the first and second line of people, but that's all I can tell…I can't pinpoint it any more than that."

Inuyasha glanced back and narrowed his eyes. "I could just cause a commotion and snatch it."

"And darken it with the negative vibes of being stolen?" Kagome asked.

Inuyasha shrugged. "You could just purify it later."

Kagome sighed. "I'd hate to do that to some poor person that just thinks they're holding a pretty jewel."

"You have too kind a heart," he mumbled, turning back forward.

"We are ready to begin," the Elder's voice rose above the chatter around them.

"Not quite yet!" came a new voice from somewhere to their left.

The four friends looked at each other, and then at the sea of onlookers who were parting to make way for the new comer. At the sight of a tallish man, of medium build and medium age with a bald head and traveling monks robes and staff, the chins of all four friends fell nearly to the floor.

The monk stopped before them and bowed. "I apologize to interrupt this moment, but I come searching for a monk by the name of Miroku."

A sea of faces turned to Miroku who seemed to shrink under the scrutiny. "I swear I haven't done anything," he answered, raising his tied up hands. "See? I've been here all the time."

"You are Miroku?" the monk asked.

Miroku nodded and bowed. "I am he," he answered.

"You are younger than I imagined," the monk sighed. "But if you are as powerful as they say, I have need of your services." The monk looked at him and leaned a little on his staff. "You see, I have just traveled through a town less than a day's journey from here which has been cursed with a most ominous black cloud that not even I could dispel. When I heard that you, the great dispeller of dark clouds were here, I made haste to find you and get your services…perhaps both you and I together could do this town a great justice."

"I would be glad to oblige," Miroku spoke. "However, I am currently…otherwise…" he looked at his ties and at Sango. "…engaged."

Sango glared at him, but refrained from commenting.

"Oh!" the monk looked around "Do forgive me…we can perhaps finish up the services of your marriage and if your lady wife and friends would not mind cutting the revelry and celebration short, we can travel to the village right away?" He looked around at the feast that was set up not too far off. "After some food to sturdy our souls against the task ahead, of course," the monk grinned.

Sango narrowed her eyes at the monk and looked at Kagome. Kagome looked back in much the same manner. Something was fishy here.

"Yes!" the elder exclaimed. "But of course! And if you will perform the ceremony, we would be most grateful!"

Kagome groaned. So much for it not being binding, she thought.

"Oh, of course!" the monk exclaimed, handing his hat to the nearest person and walking toward the elder. "I would be honored to join two such handsome couples!"

Sango closed her eyes and refrained from letting her head drop into her hands. She looked at Kagome, as if asking for a way out, but Kagome shrugged almost imperceptibly. She sighed and looked back at the monk.

"Now," the monk said, sticking his staff in the ground next to him and clapping his hands. "We are here, to join these two couples to each other," he announced. "Miroku and Sango, Inuyasha and Kagome," he started, looking at each couple as he named them. "Do you recognize the seriousness of this vow you are making today?"

All four people blinked, confused. But it was the elder that spoke up first. "How did you know their names, monk?"

The monk looked confused. "What was that?"

"You called them each by name and knew only of Miroku when you came here…"

The monk laughed. "Ah!" he exclaimed. "I need only know which is Miroku before I could know that the beautiful lady at his side is Sango, the fabled demon exterminator who travels with him and is his betrothed, and that leaves one other male who is told to travel with him, which is Inuyasha, who is recognizable, of course, by his distinctive hair and ears and the lovely young woman at his side is of course, his beloved, Kagome." The monk blinked at him. "Have you not heard that they are quite famous throughout the country as defenders of peace and fighters of evil?"

The elder, who had clearly not heard of any such thing, finally snapped out of his shock at hearing the description of the people now before him and nodded. "Yes, of course," he lied. "Please, proceed."

The Monk nodded. "As I was saying," he continued. "This vow you are now undertaking is a promise of undying faithfulness and love…binding your souls, under my blessing, for all eternity, far beyond the reaches of this life and into those yet to come and into eternity beyond that."

Miroku rose a brow. Sango misinterpreted the doubt she saw in his eyes as a doubt of the validity of the monk's words and frowned.

The monk looked at them all and nodded. "Yes?" he asked. Slowly, the parties nodded, although not as enthusiastically as could have been hoped for. "Good!" the monk exclaimed happily. "Take each other's hands, please," he told them. He watched as gently, Miroku took Sango's who blushed at the contact and Inuyasha and Kagome looked at each other, their hands finding each other's, their fingers entwining, without much effort. "Then, under the warmth of this sun, the very gaze of heaven and the witness of all those gathered here, I now bless you as husband and wife." The monk softly placed his staff atop each of their heads and said a few mumbled words and when he was done, he rose his hands and grinned. "Congratulations! Let's eat!" he finished, walking away toward the food.

The crowd erupted into applause and exclamations of congratulations leaving the four friends staring at each other in something like shock.

"You can untie each other, now," the elder announced.

'In western culture, they get to kiss,' Kagome thought, frowning. Shrugging, Kagome smiled tenderly at Inuyasha who was watching her. Still holding onto his hand, Kagome rose herself up on tip-toe and gently pressed her lips to his, hugging him. "Thank you for being so good about not making a scene, Inuyasha," she whispered into his ear.

"Keh," Inuyasha mumbled, blushing as he ripped off the rope with his free hand, not letting her hand go just yet.

"Congratulations, and come and eat," the elder told them. "Each villager must now present you with a small token."

"That's not necessary," Kagome told him.

"It is for your good luck and ours," he told her.

Kagome sighed and nodded. "Thank you," she bowed.

She turned and met Inuyasha's eyes. "Hungry?" he asked softly.

Kagome smiled and nodded. "A little."

"Then, let's eat something before we figure out who has the shard," he told her.

Kagome turned to Miroku who was being helped out of the ropes by Sango. "Congratulations," she winked at them.

Sango blushed and Miroku winked back.

Kagome started to walk away, still holding Inuyasha's hand as she led him, only to stop when she was suddenly jerked back as Inuyasha fell right on his face. He mumbled something against the ground. "I didn't say it, Inuyasha, I swear!" Kagome exclaimed on a whisper as she crouched down next to him.

Inuyasha sighed visibly, and lifted his head. "I forgot to untie my feet," he admitted, his face stained allover with a dark red blush.

Kagome giggled, putting her hand to her mouth to try and still the laughter. "I'm sorry," she tried to stop but couldn't. "Turn over," she managed between giggles. "I'll help you get them off."

Inuyasha easily turned over. "I don't need your help, woman," he told her, easily tearing through the ties with his hands and standing up in one smooth motion.

Still crouching, Kagome looked up at him, the smile still in her eyes and on her lips. He held his hand out to her. "Come, let's eat."

Kagome put her hand in his and he helped her up. "Yes, husband," she whispered so low only he could have heard her.

He blushed straight through and his hold on her hand tightened, but he didn't look at her or comment as he led her toward the tables. "Come on, bouzo, we're hungry, we ain't got all day."

By the time Miroku and Sango had finished untying his knots and joined them, Kagome and Inuyasha were already seated at the table and being served.

"You're slow," Inuyasha teased.

"In a hurry to get to bed tonight?" Miroku asked on a whisper as he sat next to Inuyasha.

"None of your business, pervert," Inuyasha growled.

"Hmm…" Miroku replied noncommittally. "I notice the lack of a denial…"

As Kagome was served, Inuyasha realized that she was looking around at the crowd, as if looking for something.

"What is it?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome blinked at him as her attention was drawn back to him. "I…" she looked around again as if to make certain. "I can't feel the jewel shard," she whispered. "Suddenly, I realized I hadn't felt it for a bit and then now, it's gone."

"Gone!" Inuyasha whispered fiercely.

Kagome nodded. "I don't know…it can't have gone that far or I would have felt it leaving…I can feel the jewel from pretty far off, but since it's not activated, I might be able to feel it less, but still…"

"Crap," Inuyasha mumbled.

Having overheard, Miroku sighed. "Well, there's nothing we can do now…if you can't feel it even now, it must already be pretty far off…we might as well eat and enjoy the food."

Inuyasha nodded. "The bouzo's right…" he took the plate with the meats and served some of the more cooked pieces onto Kagome's plate before taking the rarer pieces for himself and passing the plate to Miroku.

Kagome looked at her plate and then back up at Inuyasha, surprise evident in her eyes.

"What?" he asked, having begun to eat. He looked at her plate. "You like the more well done pieces of the light part of the meat, don't you?"

There was a moment of pause where Kagome was silent and staring at him. Just when it was getting uncomfortable, the blank look on her face broke and she grinned brilliantly at him. Impulsively, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Woah, Kagome!" he exclaimed, trying not to drop the chopsticks on her dress.

"You know what meat I like," she whispered before kissing him softly on the cheek and just as abruptly, letting him go to focus on her own food which she blushed over as she ate.

Inuyasha glanced at Miroku who was arguing with Sango over how many pieces of meat he should take for himself, and finding no help there, he shook his head and focused back on his plate. 'Women,' he thought. He'd never understand them. 'How could knowing what kind of meat she liked prompt such a response?' he wondered. After so much time traveling together it was just natural that he know which kinds of meat she liked and which ones she preferred not to eat and which ones she absolutely wouldn't touch…it was only natural that he know she preferred deer meat to rabbit meat and couldn't stand to eat fish every day for too long…that she always ate her food in separate sections, never mixing the rice with the meat unless it was purposefully mixed…that was all only natural…after so much time…wasn't it?