When I walked into the office this morning, I found a note on my desk reading:
I'm on to you Rinsler.
I'm confused. What exactly are they on to me about? My blackmail portfolio? That one night fling with Dimitri, the Russian mail-room boy? My secret deals with Spaulding Security involving the building's surveillance tapes? That secret Christmas Office Party when Alexandra made us work Christmas Eve while she spent the night spoiling her psycho-brat nephews and nieces? My plans to kill Ala-I mean my plans to maim Ala- I mean, my plans to screw Alan over? What?
And who exactly is 'on' to me? I don't exactly have any enemies within the office. I mean, everyone knows I hate Alan more than everyone else. Men have walked out of Alan's office just after being cruelly and sadistically fired, looked at me, shook their heads and said "Poor woman." Everyone knows what I do to him. Well, not everything, of course, or I might be in prison, but I keep nice tabs of what's going on in the office.
I'm not even going to give Alan the dignity of think he left the note. He's not on to anything not under his nose. He managed to ignore the fact that his wife #5 and son #1 were going at it like rabbits until he caught it on camera. God that was a beautiful moment. I have to give it to Alexandra for that one. She seemed rather different then, with her euro- trash accent and much more distinct fashion. Then she got back in her pathetic groove of things and that ridiculous look.
Where am I? Oh, being harassed by a stalker, right. I'm still puzzled over who it could be. I think I-
Just as I was beginning that sentence, Rhonda Corliss from the Marketing Office walked up to my desk. "Do you know who this is from?" she asked, handing me a note, "I found it on my desk." It read:
"I'm on to you Corliss."
I showed her my note and we began talking about who could have it in for us, when Evelyn Norwood, Daphne Grander and Mary Wronski came in wanting to complain to Moron about three harassing notes on their desk with the same message. Since Moron would more likely give medicine to needy children than listen to us, we talked and learned that half of the women in the building had received the same ominoius notes with their name on them.
"Who on Earth would do such a thing?" Grander asked.
"You mean," I said, gritting my teeth as I realized the answer, "Who would harass every half-attractive women into thinking he had an unnatural power over them?"
A short trip to the camera surveillance room confirmed our suspicion and together we made a pact that hour.
We're going to get an unholy revenge upon Brad Green.
And we're going to have a hell of a time doing it.
A/N: I know, I know, I've been horrible to you lot. I haven't updated in months and what I give is you a couple of rather Crppy chapters. Sorry. So, in case something like this happens again, I'll thank the all the wonderful people who've reviewed my work. (Both of you.)
MeoW03: Oops! I mean...Cool. It's all part of my evil plan to take over the world you see. Your neighbor was first. Next...JKRowling... ;-) (Book 6 will be out in a week.)
Kali1: Would you believe that I've never seen Ishtar? Would you blame me?
That and all, I have the next chapter in the works, and a couple of chapters after that. There was talk of a 'Secretary Diaries' website but...