The ...s.o.b. Raymond Hender was horsing around at the coffee pot and knock straight into me while I was holding a hot cup. It spilled all over my brand new skirt. I gave him a piece of my mind, in fact, I'm pretty sure the whole floor knew what Raymond did by the time I was through with him. But all he did was get all huffy and acted like "Jeez, it was just a joke." He laughed and left the office. Jerk. We'll see what's so damn funny when he learns that the payroll goes through me.
Phillip's hired a new personal assistant cough secretary cough. today. Now it's time for the 'How long can you last in the room with Rat Bastard?' And guess who has to do all this work when he's between girls? That's right, me. The last girl lasted about a week before he found some weak excuse to fire her. I-
I was interrupted when Harley came in. I must say, she has improved since the magical talking houseplant. I didn't even recognize her—until she opened her mouth.
"Hello, I'm Ruth-"
"Very nice, Harley. Like the wig."
"I don't know what you're talking about Ms Rinsler, I'm Ruth Karloff and I'm Phillip Spaulding's new executive assistant."
"Yeah, secretary." I looked her up and down, "Harley, I take it this is an asinine attempt to spy on Spaulding Enterprises in order to help take down the family of evil incarnate and save your family restaurant?"
"Erm...yeah."
"Oh. Well, I'm all for it. Welcome to the job Ruth."
"You'll keep the secret then?"
"To the grave. Or at least until I'm offered a good amount of cash."
"Oh good."
"Harley," I sat down on my desk, "how long do you think you can possibly keep this up? I mean, it's better than the houseplant, but Phillip was married to you for Pete's sake. He's going to see this disguise eventually."
"Well, I've been lucky so far. I think Phillip's got an eye infection so he won't see me yet for a while. Thank God for that infection. "
"Yeah...infection..." Act innocent. Act innocent.
"Well, I've got to go make some copies. Thanks Ms. Rineler."
"It's RINSLER!" Is 'Rinsler' a hard name to remember or something? I suppose it might be easier if I changed my last name to Lugosi. Yeah, that would be juuust so inconspicuous.
Karloff? God, I suppose it's better than Copper...