A/N: Due to situations beyond my control cough virus cough the entries for Phillip's funeral are late. Sorry.
Phillip's funeral was today. I'm really sorry I wasn't invited. From what I hear it was quite the event. Olivia Spencer (or Lewis, or whatever last name she has this week) got up drunk as a Maenad and screamed "YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED YOU SONOVABITCH!" Classic! Oh heavens, what I wouldn't have given to be there, but the Spauldings wisely closed it to friends and family. Yeah I know, what 'friends?'
Since everyone was at the funeral no Spauldings were present at work today. "They should have funerals more often." Said Maddie from the Mail Room. No argument here.
Since Phillip's death I've been thinking about some of the things he's been saying these past few months. He always claimed that he was doing everything for his children. Yeah, cause Spaulding children grow up so well, don't they?
Though in all honesty, pre-psycho Phillip wasn't that bad. He was polite most of the time and sometimes he didn't even come into work to bother me at all! And sadly, this will always hurt the kids who had nothing to do with any of this besides being used as pawns in the family games. Ah yes, the kiddie Spauldings. Once Phillip brought his eldest son Zachary to work and I had to babysit him for an hour while Phillip was in a meeting. Damn, how could someone that evil have a kid that sweet? As a result of that day, there is one Spaulding I actually like; too bad he won't have any power for twenty years.
At three today a voice came over the building intercom. "In honor of Phillip Spaulding, we would ask you observe a minute of silence." I stopped typing and all the offices remained still…until Xena The Office Princess (aka Bobby) took out his noisemakers left over from the New Years Party and started to crank it up singing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead."
Half of the cubicles were in song by the end of the moment of silence. You'd think they'd wait until Happy Hour, wouldn't you?