Hi! thanks to everyone who read this!! i must say that when i wrote this chapter, i was in a very STRANGE MOOD...::people shudder::...so it's really not that funny. ah well, i try. it involves Erik looking for a pair of bunny slippers...if that's reason to read it, please go ahead...hehe.
anyway, please read and enjoy! i KNOW THIS IS OOC, but patooey. reviews are MOST appreciated!
Chapter 3: Concerning Strawberries and Cream, and, oh yes, a Tall Dark Stranger
A loud thunk from the entrance to his home made nearly made Erik fall out of his richly padded coffin. Yawning and rubbing his eyes, the Phantom put a delicate foot on the cold ground and winced; he needed to find his bunny slippers at once! He frowned and dug the heels of his palm into the hollows of his eyes; he was having a pounding migraine. He couldn't remember a thing about last night; but for some reason he was filled with a strange sense of foreboding. Then concentration turned to the matter at hand, and Erik fell, crawling on the ground searching for his bunny slippers beneath each and every chair and table...
These slippers were highly precious goods, a gift won from a day at the horse races with Phillipe de Chagny. They were simply the loveliest furry pink things in the world to snuggle corpse-like feet into, and Erik adored them with all his heart. But, with a reputation to uphold, it was his single most terrifying fear that someone might discover them; after all, bunny slippers are not things that a seasoned criminal is to be caught dead with. He stood, suddenly, with the feeling that is so common to people who know that they are being watched.
Nadir had walked in looking highly tousled, in (God forbid!) electric purple Elvis pajamas. He was yawning hugely, ruffling his close-cropped hair with a stretch. He looked faintly amused at the sight of Erik on all fours.
"Oh, Daroga," said Erik (standing up quickly), in a voice which he must have thought sounded gruff and indifferent, "you stayed the night?"
"Yes, your armchair is rather cozy," said the Persian, stretching again. Suddenly Erik remembered everything: the Win-a-Date contest, Yanni...he suppressed a groan.
"Well, then, I was just looking for—"
"These?" Nadir held out twin pearly rose-colored slippers.
"Er—yes! Ah, you've found them! Writhing and Agony! My two most faithful servants," cried Erik seizing the shameful items (actually their names were Strawberries and Cream) and squishing them in his fists. "Once again, I shall be able to practice my most secret, ancient and evil Phantom voodoo on them to purge society of all that is evil!" Erik pantomimed stabbing Cream with a large, invisible needle.
Nadir sighed with a smirk.
"You've been reading The Crucible again, haven't you?"
The two were mercifully interrupted by another loud thunk on the door. In the time that Nadir turned to answer it, Erik quickly slipped Strawberries and Cream onto their rightful owner. Quickly throwing a large, impressive-looking cape across his shoulders, Erik went to join Daroga.
Nadir was looking at (appropriately) something. Because whatever was in the door could not be properly described as someone.
Erik saw Daroga's face contort with naked horror...
The large, brutal looking beast was clad in all-leather with eyebrows...well, best described straight from a Frieda Kahlo painting. A pair of ice-gray chips peered down at the terrified pair, who had now unconsciously moved closer together in fright. Erik, a clever and brutal man in his own right, found himself quailing under this enormous man's wake. It unzipped its leather jacket (from which rippling muscles could be seen, hidden within the depths of its dark shirt)...
Erik and Daroga held their breaths...
The creature suddenly lunged a hand the size of a ham hock into his chest and whipped out...
He whipped out a clipboard and a pen. He opened his great, rubbery lips and said, in a voice as deep and menacing as the thunder...
" 'Alo! Excuse me, po-lees, but zees ze 'ouse of Monsieur Ereek eez beeing?" he attempted a pleasant smile (which made his great face all the more terrifying).
Erik and Nadir screamed.
A/N: Dorky, stupid? Short?? I KNOW!! But believe me, this will have a plot, soon!! this is sort of the intro...i'm kinda swamped w. schoolwork, we'll see. but thanks for reading this far!! ::showers free chocolate on the reader::