Hello everyone! Ah, i LOVE THE WEEKEND!! ::hugs self:: i had so much sudden free time on my hands (bliss) i decided to crank out another neurotic chapter!! HOORAY!!

oh yes, props to Madame Butterfly for figuring out (well, sort of) what my intention was...::crazed cackle:: and thank you for the sweet comment, dear! and to all the rest of you who reviewed, i love you guys!

please, please, PLEASE keep reviewing, i really care what you think about this! Ah well, enough fluff, without further ado, more random Erik torturing! ::scattered applause::

Chapter 4: A Surprise Guest, a Surprised Ghost, and Then Some

"Julio!" cried a shrill voice from the darkness, and Erik stopped screaming to listen. The massive figure turned confusedly away from the two skinny men on the doorstep and faced someone else in the shadows. Was he just imagining it be...?

La Carlotta stepped gracefully from the shadows adjusting a majestic golden scarf round her throat with a plump, dainty hand. She appraised Erik's home quickly, wrinkling her tiny nose.

" 'oo 'as done zis—"(apparently there was no word nearly bad enough)—"decorating?" she demanded with supreme disdain, fingering the rather drab wallpaper. "and zis!" (her massive paw clawed at a slim, elegant candle holder) "zis seemply 'as to go!"

Erik and Nadir, who for several moments had been rendered speechless, turned to face the regal diva, Erik's arch nemesis. Never in his life had Erik imagined having to face her person to person, let alone watch her stride into his home with Monsieur Wolf-Man at her heels. And not only that, threatening her from a hidden column in Box Five via clever ventriloquism was all fine and dandy, but somehow seeing the massive woman looming before him now was somewhat disconcerting.

"What the—"for the first time in his life, Erik was at a loss for precisely what to say.

" 'aah," said La Carlotta turning suddenly, making them all jump. " so zis is ze leetle Opera Ghost! 'oo 'ave tried to scare La Carlotta, but 'oo see, now we are—how does one say eet in Eenglish—ear to ear?"
"Face to face," corrected Nadir, who had gone from a rich toffee to a parchment white in a matter of seconds.

"Aah," said La Carlotta again, whirling her magnificent hands about, "I see zat 'oo 'ave a leetle friend with you, too?"

She gave Nadir a very severe look. It was the most terrifying scrutiny the Persian had ever undergone.

"Madame," said Erik finally, feeling as though he'd swallowed a cupful of hot Arabian sand, "Might I ask what you're doing in my home?"
"Yes, and who is that?" demanded Nadir warily from behind Erik's shoulder, gesturing to the hulking silhouette behind her.

"My bruzzer, Julio," said La Carlotta carelessly. From the doorway, Julio bowed apologetically.

For a moment they stood there. Then Carlotta readjusted several shimmering bangles and stood, before giving a rich laugh (quaking the foundations of the Dining Room by the Lake) and striding in.

"Well, Monseiur Ereek, 'oo are being most unkind!"
"What's your point?" Erik was surprised at his own daring.

"AAH!" wailed La Carlotta, making them all jump again. ""Oo must eenvite 'our most deesteengueeshed guests into your leetle home. Truly, 'oo French are most impolite."

"I object to your calling it 'leetle'" began Erik, although Nadir wisely clamped a hand around his friend's thin lips. "Come inside, Madame and Monsieur," he said as graciously as one could in a voice trembling with fear.

"Oh all right," muttered Erik, seeing no way out of this one, cursing Nadir mentally as he led the motley crew inside his legendary home. Nadir passed him, with a deeply disturbed look on his face.

"Daroga, your head in the chopper, the executioner releases the guillotine string upon my command," hissed Erik at the Persian.

But Nadir could only grin guiltily. Erik glanced back at La Carlotta and Le Hideous tromping behind him.

"Whatever could they want?" He wondered to himself. "Nadir probably knows, the fiend!"

But he was too terrified to find out.

A/N: Like i said, much closer to a plot than the last chapter! RIGHT??

Erik: ::coughs::

Me: shut up

Erik: ::manages to look surly as well as sexy::

Me: ::swoon::

Erik: ::rolls his eyes:: oh, for godsake, review people so that she can get this torture over with!
Me: ::giggle:: well, Erik, you don't even know yet what i have planned for you, love!

Erik: 0o do i WANT to know!
Me: ::shows him the newest chapter::

Erik: ::faints::

Me: Do you want him to live? ::looks threateningly:: hehe, just kiddin'! Please review, my good friends!

::runs off to revive Erik with cherry soda::