6x05 Title
TEASER
INT. HYPERIAN HOTEL - LOBBY
The scene is just as we left it. Angel, Spike, Lorne, Illaryia, Robin and Faith are standing in front of Lindsey.
Angel: What are you doing here?
Lindsey: Well I thought I'd just stop by for some tea and crumpets. Ya know, maybe we could catch up on current events. How bout them Yankees huh?
Angel: Lorne, Weren't you supposed to kill Lindsey?
Lorne: I did. Or at least I think I did. I don't know, I've never killed anyone before.
Lindsey: Oh he killed me alright. (To Lorne) By the way, remind me to personally thank you for that later.
He winks at Lorne. Lorne nods sarcastically.
Angel: The Senior Partners brought you back?
Lindsey: Um, no, you killed them remember. By the way, impressive.
Angel: So then who sent you?
Lindsey: I'd tell you but you probably wouldn't believe me.
Spike: Try us bumpkin boy.
Lindsey: Remember when I was pretending to work for the Powers that be?
Spike: How could I forget.
Lindsey: Yeah well, turns out they got a really weird sense of humor about those kinds of things.
He raises his eyebrows and smiles
Angel: You're working for the powers?
Lindsey: Wow nothing gets by you Sherlock.
Angel strides forward and Grabs Lindsey by the collar.
Angel: Okay, Mr. Lomax no games here. What's going on?
Lindsey: I'll show you.
Angel puts him down
Lindsey: There's a Limo waiting for you all outside.
Spike: A limo to where?
Lindsey: Now if I told you it wouldn't be a surprise. Shall we?
Lindsey starts to go but Angel puts his hand on his chest to stop him.
Lindsey: Hey! I don't do second base on the first date.
Angel: You think we're just gonna get in a limo with you?
Lindsey: Not like I'm a stranger, heck why we're almost family.
Angel: Sing.
Lindsey: You're kidding right?
Angel doesn't change his gaze
Lindsey: Hey it's your show. (Singing) "Settle down now, You kids are gonna be okay.
Settle down now, The boys and girls are fighting for you today. Settle down now, settle down"
Angel: (Cutting him off) Lorne?
Lorne: No way.
Angel: What?
Lorne: He's telling the truth alright but…I don't believe this.
Angel: What?
Lorne: I think you should see this for yourself.
Angel turns back to Lindsey who just smiles.
Lindsey: Shall we?
EXT. WOFRAM AND HART BUILDING
Angel and the gang have just gotten out of the limo.
Angel: This is just the wolfram and hart Building.
Spike: Yeah, we just came from here.
Lindsey: This WAS the Wolfram and Hart building. Take a look Hero.
Angel looks at the sign. The camera zooms in on the sign. It reads:
"ANGEL AND POWERS ATTOURNEYS AT LAW"
Angel: (O.S) You've got to be kidding me
MAIN TITLES
David Boreanez as ANGEL
James Marsters as SPIKE
Christian Kane as LINDSEY
Amy Acker as ILLARYIA
Andy Hallet as LORNE
Eliza Dushku as FAITH
And
D.B. Woodside as ROBIN WOOD
SPECIAL GUEST STAR: Alexis Denisoff
ACT ONE
INT. ANGEL AND POWERS BUILDING - LOBBY
Angel and the group stand around in the lobby looking the place over.
Angel: Wanna run this by me one more time? And Slowly.
Lindsey: Doesn't take a genius to get it. The powers that be, have been trying to set up shop on this plain of existence for a few millennia now. But every time they try, the Senior Partners, who were already here, stopped them.
Robin: But the Senior Partners are dead now.
Lindsey: Exactly. No one to stop the powers now. And though the Senior Partners are gone, Wolfram and Hart wasn't.
Lorne: So they set up shop here?
Lindsey: Bingo. They bought the company and changed the name. And now they wanna give it to you.
Angel: Sorry, not interested. Let's go.
Angel turns to leave but Lindsey steps in front of him.
Lindsey: Woah, woah, wait a second. Are you insane?
Angel: I was insane when I agreed to take over Wolfram and Hart the first time.
Lindsey: Yeah that was Kind of insane wasn't it? But news flash. This ain't Wolfram and Hart anymore. The senior partners don't run it, the powers do. This whole thing you were trying to do? Turn this weapon of darkness into a tool of light? Done.
Angel: Not so sure I believe that.
Lindsey: Look, don't take my word for it cause that would be really insane wouldn't it. Why don't I turn you over to your Liaison to the powers.
Angel: My Liaison?
Lindsey: Hey, I'm just here to get you well… here. I'm not your Liaison.
Wesley: (O.S) I am.
The gang turns to see Wesley standing there. He is wearing a traditional "Classic Wesley" Suit.
Illaryia: Wesley?
Angel: Wes?
Wesley: Yes. Good to see you again Faith. And you must be Robin Wood.
Robin: Yeah. Say, there sure are a lot of dead guys walking around here aren't there?
Lindey: Speaking of which, I have work to do. I'll see you guys later. Happy trails.
He exits to the elevator.
Angel: It is you isn't it Wes?
Wesley: Yes. (He opens his shirt to reveal the stab wound) It is.
Angel: Wes, is this all on the level? I mean, is this really happening.
Wesley: Yes. Hard to believe I know. But this is the fruition of your Labors.
Spike: Oh it's Wesley alright. Big fancy words no one gets. It's him.
Wesley: After you destroyed the Partners, the Powers That be quickly took action. Every employee has been since replaced. Approximately a third of those working here are the survivors of the Watchers council. They of course weren't to thrilled to be working for a vampire, but that wasn't an issue once they found out they'd have a chance to work for the powers. Anyway, let's not discuss this here. Why don't you each go to your respective offices and I'll be with each of you shortly to discuss your rolls here.
Spike: Our offices?
Wesley: Yes. Spike, we have you pegged as head of demon resources, third subbasement room 332.
Spike: Oh goody, not only a basement, but a subbasement. Ya know just when you think you can't get any lower.
He wanders off.
Wesley: Mr. Wood you shall be our head of Files and Records. Floor 28 room 5B.
Robin: Files and Records? Why not?
He takes off
Wesley: Faith. You are going to be head of Special forces.
Faith: Special Forces?
Wesley: Yes, Black Ops, Mercenaries, Hired guns. That sort of thing.
Faith: Sweet.
She takes off.
Wesley: That floor 32 room-
Faith: (Yelling O.S) I'll find it!
Wesley: Which brings us to Ilaryia. You shall be head of Security.
Illaryia: (cocks her head) Security?
Wesley: Yes, you get to spend all day bossing mortals around, and beating up any intruders.
Illaryia: I do not desire a position of such sorts.
Wesley: I hand picked you myself because I thought this job would suit you.
She stares at him for a moment.
Ilaryia: If you think so then.
She walks off.
Ilaryia: (O.S.) You there! Answer to my authority!
Wesley: Angel of course is once again C.E.O. You know where the office is.
Angel: I'm not so sure I like this Wes.
Wesley: Yes, well we'll discuss that soon enough.
Angel leaves, and Wes turns to Lorne.
Lorne: Don't think you're gonna wrangle me back into this. I told you I'm done with the corporate world for good.
Wesley: No of course not. But we do have a special place for you here. Please follow me.
Wesley starts off.
Lorne: Wait a sec. there's nothing you could offer me that would get me to stay.
INT: CARITAS
Lorne: Caritas!
Wesley: Yes. We had the corporate bar converted to the exact specification of Caritas.
Lorne: I don't know what to say.
Wesley: Say you'll accept the offer. There's a full sanctuary spell evoked around the premises. No demon, human or robotic violence of any kind. The spell extends past the doors so no one can chuck anything in. This bar is completely safe of violence and is the perfect sanctuary. Now you can go back to what you like doing the most. Reading people and putting them on their paths. It's a gift from the powers for all you've had to put up with.
Lorne: Oh Wesley, I could kiss you!
Wesley: Please don't.
INT. FACTORY
A man stands in the shadows. Several Demons are standing in front of him. The man speaks with a heavy yet sinister British accent.
Man: I have located the Talisman. It seems to have returned to the wolfram and Hart Building. It has been Stationary for nearly twenty minutes. Go and retrieve it before it moves.
The demons bow and then leave. Behind the man, in the shadows, two red eyes begin to glow.
Voice: Are you sure you're men can handle this?
Man: Yes. I have built this organization up quite well these past two years. They will not fail my lord. The first talisman will be yours again.
The man slowly steps out of the shadows to reveal that he is indeed:
Ethan Rayne: This I promise, my master.
ACT BREAK
ACT TWO
INT. SUBBASEMENT THREE
Spike steps off the elevator. The floor is dark and Dank. Fog swirls around the entire floor. Demons of all shapes, sizes and kinds walk about. A Kailiff demon, wearing a fine suit walks up to spike.
Demon: Mr. Spike?
Spike: Uh, yeah?
Demon: Hello sir, my name is Rafe and I'll be your personal assistant. Whatever you need, don't hesitate to ask. I'm available to you twenty-four/ Seven.
Spike: Great. My office?
Rafe: Right this way sir.
Rafe leads Spike through a door and into his office.
INT: SPIKE'S OFFICE
Spike walks in, with Rafe behind him, and is stunned. The office is set up like a very familiar Crypt.
Spike: I don't believe it. It's my Crypt from Sunnydale.
Rafe: Yes sir. We want you to feel right at home sir, so I took the iberty of reconstructing the office to the specifications of your old place.
Spike: Well, kudos. It's…Perfect.
Rafe: It's an exact replica sir. Well, except for the desk. I'll leave you to get settled in. Anything you need, just call.
Spike: Yeah, cause that's much better than a luxoury coorperate office.
Rafe leaves and Spike wanders over to his desk. He sits down.
Spike: Not bad.
He throws his feet up on the desk and leans back.
Spike: Not bad at all.
He looks over his desk and sees a few buttons.
Spike: Ooh, toys. And what preytell are you for?
He presses a button and the corner wall rotates to reveal a bar. It is fully stocked with a large collection of beer, and many other kinds of fine liquors. Spike, wide eyed gets up and walks over to the bar.
Spike: Now this is an office.
Wesley: (O.S) I thought you'd like it.
Spike turns to see Wesley in the door way. He walks into the office and sits in front of the desk. Spike grabs a bottle of bourbon and sits back at his desk.
Spike: So. I've seen the perks, by the way company car?
Wesley: You have three.
Spike: Well, how many does Angel get?
Wesley: That's not the point.
Spike: The hell it's not. We're both well to do vampires about town with souls. I should get whatever he gets. Only fair is all.
Wesley: It doesn't work that way Spike.
Spike: Well it should. Bloody Brilliant them powers is. Anyway, I've seen the perks, so whats the downside?
Wesley: Downside?
Spike: Yeah, What do I have to do. I've never had a job before. 'cept that one summer when I was twelve, I was a stable boy for-
Wesley is staring at him.
Spike: Not important.
Wesley: All you have to do is simply, Give orders. If something is demons related it's your jurisdiction. If we need some demon mercenaries, you pick them and issue their orders. If there's a war between demon clans, then it's your job to end it. That and of course you're duty to Angel as bearer of the visions.
Spike: Yeah about that. Why in the bloody hell would He need a link to the powers, when he has you? You talk TO the powers.
Wesley: It doesn't work like that.
Spike: What is that your new catch phrase?
Wesley: Well look on the bright side Spike this is something you have that Angel doesn't. You should be happy about it.
Spike raises his hands pointer and middle finger extended towards Wes as is the british middle finger.
Wesley: Look Spike things work differently-
Spike: Oh good tell me how it works then.
Wesley: The powers tell me what they want done now. The visions are what they want done in the future. Having knowledge of the future prevents them from directly interfering in said events. Using the visions is an indirect interference. I am a direct link to the powers. My interference would be a direct interference. Cosmic rules and all really. Understand?
Spike: Not in the least. And that doesn't even make any sense. How in the-
Spike immediately doubles over in pain.
Spike: AHHHHHHHHH! Bloody Christ!
Wesley: Bloody Christ?
Spike: You try thinking straight when you have tanks shootin' off in your head.
Wesley: What did you see?
Spike: How's our security?
Wesley: Everything is up to it's best. Except we haven't finished installing the building's defenses yet.
Spike: Well, then. We're just kinda screwed then aren't we?
INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE
Angel is sitting at his desk looking over papers.
Angel: I can't believe it. I can't find a single thing wrong with this setup.
Lindsey: (O.S) Why would you.
Angel looks up to see Lindsey in the doorway. He walks in holding a cup off of Coffee which he places on Angel's desk.
Angel: What's this?
Lindsey: Coffee.
Angel: I know its coffee, but why is it here and why are you bringing it.
Lindsey: Kinda have to. It's my job.
Angel: Your job? No you don't mean-
Lindsey: Yep. I'm your secretary.
Angel: No.
Lindsey: Hey. You think I like this any better than you.
He sits down in front of the desk and puts his feet up on it.
Lindsey: I don't have a choice.
Angel: (Annoyed) What do you mean you don't have a choice?
Lindsey: It's my eternal punishment. Ya know for my life of sinnin' and all. I have to fetch your coffee, answer your calls and every other dirty menial task associated with being your secretary. Me and you side by side day in and day out. I personally can't think of a more perfect hell. How bout you?
Angel: Nope. Look the only thing I want from you is for you to leave. That and maybe slam your head into the desk. In fact do that. Slam your head into the desk.
Lindsey immediately Slams his head hard into the desk. He falls in pain clutching his head in pain.
Lindsey: OWE! Son of a bitch!
Angel: I didn't think you'd actually do it. Why did you?
Lindsey: I told you, I don't have a choice!
Angel: I don't get it.
Lindsey: I have to do everything you tell me to you idiot! I'm mystically bound.
Angel: (Smiling) Really? Ya know having you around might not be so bad after all. Why don't you make yourself useful and…oh I don't know… Do a thousand pushups?
Lindsey: Your kidding right.
Angel doesn't even blink.
Lindsey: For Christs sake your over 200 years old! That's hardly mature is it?
Angel: Now!
Lindsey immediately drops down and begins doing pushups.
Lindsey: I hate you so much.
Angel: (Picking up his coffee) lovin' those perks.
He begins to take a sip but then stops. He brings the cup to his nose and sells it.
Angel: What did you do to the coffee?
Lindsey: (Panting) Nothing.
Angel: Tell me the truth.
Lindsey: I spit in it. Damn.
Angel: Is that it?
Lindsey: Of course.
Angel: Tell me what else you did.
Lindsey: Its made from Holy Water.
Angel looks at him.
Lindsey: Hey. Can't blame a dead guy for trying.
Angel: Well, you know what happens now don't you?
Lindsey: I'm kinda hoping that it's not what I think.
Angel gets up, coffee in hand and walks over to Lindsey.
Angel: No such luck.
He pours the Cup out onto Lindsey's head.
Lindsey: Son of a bitch.
Angel: Now. Stop what your doing and get out.
Lindsey gets up and starts to leave
Lindsey: Fine I'll be at my desk if you need me.
Angel: The truth?
Lindsey: Drinking in the lounge. (he exits.)
The phone rings and Angel picks it up.
Angel: Yeah.(beat) Lindsey.
Lindsey comes back in
Lindsey: Fine i was just kidding...Well sort of.
Angel: Get Illyria up here now!
Lindsey: What-
They turn their heads towards the door at the sound of windows crashing in.
INT. LOBBY
Employees take cover and move away from the windows as several demons come through.
INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE
Angel: Great, what do we do now?
Lindsey: Well I don't know about you but I'm headin' to Caritas.
ACT BREAK
ACT THREE
INT. HALLWAY
Robin is walking around the hallway looking around. Spike comes up behind him still clutching his head.
Spike: Hey Mr. Clean, wait up.
Robin: Mr. Clean was white.
Spike steps in front of him.
Spike: But you're bald and you've both got that earing thing.
Robin: What does you want?
Spike. Well- say what are you doin' out here anyways?
Robin: I...(mumbles) Can't find my office.
Spike: What's that then?
Robin: I can't find my office.
Spike: Really? I had a demon bloke show me to mine. I guess you're just not as important around here as I am.
Robin: Then why are you in sub basement three.
Spike: Look I'd love to stand around here all day matching wits-
Robin: But you've already used up half your vocablulary.
Spike: But we have problems.
Robin: What problems?
3 large demons emerge from around the corner.
Spike: Those problems.
Demon1: Give us the monkey.
Robin and Spike look at each other and at the same time:
Both: Here he is.
They glare at each other angrily. Demons charge. The first one rushes at Robin. He moves aside and sticks his stake in the demon's chest. The demon falls over dead. Spike leaps at second demon and hurls him into Robin. Robin spins around and head butts the demon. Demon stumbles back and Robin plunges another stake into his chest. The third one grabs Spike holding him in front as a shield. Robin brings up his stake.
Spike: Don't even think about it.
Robin: Don't have to.
Robin plunges his steak through Spike's midsection. Spike howls in pain as Robin kicks the stake through Spike into the demon. Demon lets go of Spike and stumbles back.
Spike: You bloody wanker.
Robin: Cry baby.
Robin tosses Spike the dagger which he catches. Spike twirls around and plunges the dagger into the demon's throat. Demon Crumples to the floor dying with gurggling sound. Spike walks up to Robin and puts his finger in his face.
Spike: Do that again and the phrase what goes around, comes around will have a whole new meaing for you.
Robin rolls his eyes. Spike storms off and Robin follows.
INT. LOBBY
Angel is fending off a bunch of the demons. One comes at him from behind. Angel senses it, and backhands the demon as he turns. The demon crashes into another one knocking them both down. Angel turns around just in time to see two more demons rushing at him. He moves toward the first one and grabs him. He takes the demon and head butts the other demon with the first one. Angel is hit from behind which knocks him foward. Whirling around, He retaliates with a punch to the demon's midsection followed by an uppercut to the demons face. Ten more demons come at him at once. Angel runs toward them. When he get to them, he grabs the first demon's shoulders and uses them to flip him self over the demons. When he lands he grabs the nearby mail cart and swings it around into the demons. The demon's fall down in a domino like effect.
Angel: Lindsey! I could use some weapon's here!
Lindsey: I could use a summer home in malabu, we don't always get what we-
Angel: Get me a weapon now!
Lindsey takes off toward Angel's office.
By now, the demons have gotten up and are once again advancing on Angel. The first one takes a swing at him, but Angel ducks and comes back up with a hard connecting punch to the demon's face. The demon staggers back as the next two advance. Angel grabs them by their collars and shoves them to the side. As they seperate, he kicks the demon behind him in the head. The demon's head snaps back and he falls dead. Lindsey comes out of the office and tosses angel a battle axe. Angel catches it and swings it into a nearby demon's skull. He slams the other end into another demon, who stumbles back. He then plunges the axe head into another demon's chest. The next demon grabs the axe and trys to wrestle it away. Angel and the demon are locked on each other unable to take the weapon away from the other. Suddenly th demon lets go and is liffted into the air. He is then tossed across the room. Standing where the demon was is Illaryia.
Illaryia: You summoned me?
Angel: Yeah, time for a little on the job training.
Thge remaining six demons rush at Them.
Angel: You got this right? I'm just gonna...ya know...be over here.
Angel leans against Lindsey's desk. The six come at Illaryia and she grabs the first two that reach her. Holding them by the throat she squezzes her hand, snapping their necks. She lets go and they drop to the floor dead. She walks toward the remaining demons and slamms her fist into one's face. it goes down and Illaryia continues with the other. The camera Cuts to Angel and Lindsey.
Lindsey: She's a spitfire idn't she?
Angel: She's okay.
The camera cuts back to Illaryia who has just killed the last demon. Spike and Robin come running in.
Angel: Missed the party.
Spike: had our own little party we did.
Angel: Why'd they attack?
Robin: They said something about a monkey.
Angel and Spike: The stone!
INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE.
Angel and Spike enter and Angel heads for his jacket. He reaces into the pocket and comes up empty handed. Spike and Angel just look at each other.
INT. FACTORY
Three demons anre kneeling before Ethan.
Demon: The first Talisman lord Ethan.
Ethan takes the talisman.
Ethan: You have done well. Leave me.
The demon's rise, bow and exit. Ethan locks the door and flips a switch. The lights turn on emptying the room of all shaddows. He turns and walks toward the far wall. hanging on the wall is a large circular statue of a demon.
Ethan: They are gone my lord.
Suddenly the statues eyes glow red.
Shen-Du: The first talisman!
Ethan: Yes may lord. As I promised you.
Shen-Du: Give it to me!
Ethan places the Talisman into an octagonal groove in The statue. For a moment the statue glows and it seems as if it moves.
Shen-Du: YES! I can feel my power returing to me. You have done well ethan Rayne. Continue to serve me this well and you will indeed sit at my right hand when I again rule this world.
Ethan: That, my lord, wpould greatly please me.
ACT BREAK
ACT FOUR.
INT. CARITAS
Lorne is on stage singing "What if God was one of us".
Angel, Spike and Robin are sitting at a table close to the stage.
Robin: Do we have any idea what that thing was.
Spike: Some sort of taliman I'm guessing.
Robin: Thank you. That clears things up compleatly.
Angel: Whatever it is, they have it now. Something tells me thats not good. We need to get it back.
Spike: We don't even know where to start. If only we had a multi billion dollar operation soley devoted to hunting down and eradicating all the world's evil. Why then we could-
Angel: I get it Spike!
Spike: I don't think you do.
Faith enters and sits down.
Faith: Yo, this place is awesome. (To Robin) Have you seen my office!
Spike: (Sipping his beer) He hasn't even seen his yet.
Robin: I'm sure it's better than a subbasement.
Spike: Never said it it wasn't mate.
Robin: So Angel. Decision's yours. It's your team.
Angel: What does everyone think?
Spike: Don't think we have to ask lorne.
Angel: No, we don't. What about you Spike. Seriously.
Spike: Listen to me Angel. We've always hated each other. Spike and Angel, william and Angelus, we've HATED eack other. But the thing is...Even with that, as long as we're on the same side, I've always had your back. Just as I've got it now. Take the damn offer. Sure the name sucks, but this place is everything you could want. Wolfram and hart is gone. You did that. This ain't a trick, you arn't being bamboozled or swindled. This is it.
Robin: Maybe it's the alchohol, but...I gotta agree with Spike.
Spike: Can I change my answer.
Robin: This is a great tool for fighting evil. Fighting evil is what we do. We fit here.
Faith: Straight up A. We could do some serious good here. Now, I know I've still got some attoning to do, how bout you? This place could go along way towards that.
Angel: I've given up on redeeming myself along time ago Faith.
Faith looks defeated. Wesley enters.
Wesley: Have we come to a decision?
Angel: We'll take it.
The gang looks at him surprised.
Wesley: Excellent.
Angel: On one condition.
Wesley: What condition?
Angel: Can we please do something about the name?
Wesley: You have something else in mind?
TAG
INT. LOBBY
Lindsey is sitting at his desk. The phone rings. He answers it.
Lindsey: Angel Investigations Please hold.
The camera zooms out slowly.
Lindsey: Angel Investigations please hold.
He presses a button
Lindsey: Angel Investigations please hold.
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER
JARED BLOCK
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes. Shen-Du and his Talismans are indeed from Jackie Chan adventures. No. This is not a cross-over. That universe does not exist in my story line. Explanation: I' have always loved the concept of Shen-Du and thout that it was waisted on a kid's show. I always thought he would make a great villian in the wheadonverse. I promise it won't be stupid, and that his appearance on Angel will be up to par with any other Angel villain.