Disclaimer: As much as I love Gravi, sadly, I was not genius enough to create it. Maki-sensei did. But, many thanks to her, or else never would so many writers have come together like this.

Okay, I don't own any of the Gravi charries mentioned. I DO however own, Akiyama Sosha, she was my original creation a while back for an idea I had. I made her charrie completely different in this, but the name is mine thanks. Any other random Japanese names you spot, please consider them mine as well. I hope you enjoy this interesting fic which I have titled, for obvious reasons:

The Heaven and Hell that is My Disease

Please enjoy this very first chapter:

And so it Begins

Yuki Eiri sat in a thinly padded chair in a fairly large room, with a sizable window, blinds half drawn, near him, hard grey carpet making a hollow 'thunk' with every blow from his heel. His hands, which were large, yet somehow, slender, delicate almost, were gripping the armrests of the chair with an intense ferocity. The novelist rolled his eyes back, lids fluttering slightly, and all movement ceased.

Akiyama Sosha, watched her patient intently. She knew his switching patterns by now, well technically, with every DID case it was the same. The patient would roll the eyes back, there would be a fluttering of the eyelids, the patient would freeze before performing a grounding motion, in Eiri's case it was cracking his knuckles. Sosha heard the cracking and looked up from the pad that she was doodling in at the moment. She saw the immediate change in character. How the blonde suddenly snapped back to reality, his posture was a bit tense, but a polite tense. Like that of a well raised sixteen year old boy.

He looked up at the doctor, eyes open as wide as possible without looking shocked, letting light filter through his eyes, making the golden orbs glow gently. He glanced at the doctor, gave a shy smile and averted his eyes towards his tightly laced hands in his lap.

"Ohayo, Eiri-kun."

Yuki had tumbled into the darkness of his mind, not pleased that the first person to be called on was the host. The young Uesugi Eiri himself.

The boy tensed up before recognizing his surroundings. It was the doctor's office. He liked her. Akiyama-san was really nice to him, but never in that fake way. She never indulged him, at least not to his knowledge, and he liked that about her. Openly honest without being nastily blunt. He liked to make her smile, it was kinda like he remember his mom's, but, he was getting off track. He was here to get help. Eiri heard her say his name, he looked up and gave a small smile before averting his eyes.

"Konichiwa, Akiyama-san," his soft voice greeted.

He heard the doctor settle into her large leather chair that was next to the desk. She was sitting, in her usual fashion, he long legs tucked under her to one side, yellow notepad balanced precariously on the legs, a long, red skirt made from a light material hanging down, jiggling with every move as she twitched.

"How are you today?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"Eh, same shit, different day."

Eiri giggled and looked up at his doctor, she smiled back, tucking a long, loose strand of black hair behind her ear. The rest of her long hair was thrown up in a messy bun, writing utensils sticking out of the dark tangled ball in all directions. She was amazed, she was always amazed. Sosha could recite hours and hours of notes on this guy, but she was still amazed when she saw him in person. It was just the little things that changed, but they made a world of difference.

His eyes were full of emotion, child-like wonder, the world. Yes, his eyes right now held the world within them, like every child. This twenty-three year old man, was now just a simple sixteen year old boy. His voice, though still deep, was soft. Definitely younger. The way he would move suggested a child as well. It was all just so… fascinating.

"Now, Eiri-kun, I need to ask you a serious question," she said, breaking the mood.

Eiri's face became pensive, which just reminded Sosha how much younger his face had looked. He was alert and watching her intently before slowly nodding his head.

"You do understand that while you are the original Uesugi Eiri, the host, that there are other… people, alters, in you as well? Do you understand what DID is?" Sosha asked, her green eyes narrowed as she watched Eiri nod.

She liked bouncy people, she expected kids to naturally be that way. Uesugi Eiri was a shock to her when she had finally unburied the poor kid from under the layers of alters. He was really trying to hide himself.

His voice broke through her thoughts:

"I understand the other people, er… alters…but, what does DID mean?"

She rattled it off. "DID: Dissociative Identity Disorder. In layman's terms: Multiple Personality Disorder."

The boy nodded, looking out the window towards his left. She knew he was thinking, she comprehended that it must be a struggle to form the tiniest thought. His alters must making it a living hell for him. He'd let them willingly take him over, wanting to forget, but now it was hard for him to reestablish any dominance. From what she had learned, most of the alters treated the host, Eiri, like shit. She at least wanted him at a semi-respectable level.

"I know that. Honestly, I understand it pretty well, but-" he paused, his soft voice sounding like there was a smirk in it, although his face was devoid of emotion. Those golden eyes glanced at her from the side.

"Do you?"

Sosha was taken aback.

Do you?

Of course she understood it! It was her specialty in psychology. Did she understand it!... But, her composure stayed and she smiled warmly at the man/child.

"How do you mean?"

"The noise," he whispered hoarsely, his gaze still locked with the window.

"What noise Eiri-kun?"

"All of them. All of the me's. I can never think. They're bickering as we speak. I have no control, and I never have silence. Never. On top of the alters, I hear the voices in my memories… it's awful. It's my own personal hell in my head. So, I ask you again: Do you understand?"

The boy's gaze had made it's way back to the doctor, who leaned back, scribbling in the teetering pad on her legs absentmindedly.

"Apparently not, Eiri-kun."

She didn't think of the repercussions of letting Eiri know that she was stumped. As a psychologist (right now a child psychologist), it was her job to guide him. To be, almost, like the parental figure he never had.

"What can you tell me about your trip to New York with Seguchi-san?" she asked pleasantly. She knew this was where it all started.

Eiri heard her ask about New York, and terror filled out his features, spreading slowly like cold water sinking into cloth. He felt sick, his head was spinning and he could hear them all laughing… memories and alters. He gave her a begging look.

"Talk, or hypnosis."

Dear lord, what wonderful choices.

Okay, psychology has always interested me, so I really wanted to do this fic for a while. Ever since they hinted that Yuki had multiple personalities. Now, in another book I read, this was called DID, but I'm not exactly sure. I can't really research it. It's either write and have panic attacks at school, or research and have panic attacks at school. So with those options, I chose to write. Now, let me explain some terms:

Host: The person who is the owner of the body. Not an alter controlling the body.

Alter(s): The many splits a mind can make. These are different personalities. They usually go by their own names. Alters usually come about when a psychologically damaging moment arises in the life of a young child. (i.e. sexual abused, beaten, ect) The splitting and forming of new personalities (alter egos) helps one deal with the pain by losing control to another.

Controller: This is the alter who is in charge most of the time. Usually refers to the others as 'part of a system'. He/she runs the system, thus having the most freewill out of the alters, even more so than the host.

No matter what sex the patient is, they can create alters of both genders. Usually, males have a majority of male alters and little to no female ones. Vise versa for females.

Hypnosis: A popular way to treat DID. It's been said that one can almost meld the personalities back into one person slowly through this process. Although, many claims have been thrown against it, saying that while in hypnosis, the doctor can place false memories into a patient. It's very hard to figure out what to say to a person under hypnosis. You have to suggest vaguely, rather than ask or demand. Precautions must be taken.

Same Shit Different Day: For any of you readers out there, I would hope some of you would recognize this phrase from a Stephen King novel. Dreamcatcher. I stole it, sorry Mr. King! I love your work and worship the ground on which you tread! bows

Eh-heh… anyway

Oh yeah, I dunno what I'm going to be doing so far as romantic situations go. I hadn't thought that out. I know everyone assumes things between Eiri and Tohma, but I dunno if I want to do that… everyone does it. I don't know what happening with a YukixShu relationship either. Um… yeah, so I really have nothing planned out. Welp! Read, review, be merry! I'm always open to requests and suggestions. As well as compliments.

Saint Lucifer

PS: I SAW ALL THE GRAVI EPISODES! fangirl squeal Hey, does anyone know the names of any of the people who do the music on it. And maybe where I can get the music? I actually liked it a lot better than I thought I would. (rap, punk, billy joel fan… don't ask, don't poke fun at. Neh!)

Also, any confusion, please don't hesitate to ask me anything. I'll try to answer to the best of my abilities.