Disclaimer: JK's not mine! I hate Evanescence, but my bets friend is a big
fan and when she was listening to it I found the lyrics rather appropriate.
So, the lyrics are Breath No More – by Evanescence. And, I'm not going to
persuade you to download it, I hate the actual song. Though if you want to,
each to there own.
Right, long time no right. And long time no thank yous! Sowwy – They will be up ASAP! I am really ill at the moment. I'm not getting any sleep, I have a sore throat, keep being sick and the whole shebang, so you know don't be too harsh. It's a pretty angst-y chapter, so warning yes it is an R. Okay, thanks E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E now onwards...
Summary of last chapter: Hermione nearly went all the way with Terry, but changed her mind at the last minute. She practically gloated to Draco and the others that she was going to have sex with him. She hoped he'd accept her apology. She was sat in her bedroom.
Hermione moved down into the common room. She sat curled up in the armchair. Slow, self-pitied tears dribbling down her freezing cold cheeks. She was sat in front of the fire watching the flames slowly ebb away. She wondered where the hell Draco could be? Whether all her friends were having fun without her. Whether all her friends were in a common room without her. Whether all her friends were outside looking up at the starry night sky without her. Whether her friends were drinking and laughing in the room of requirement without her. Selfish thoughts crossed her mind, like why they didn't care about her. Why they couldn't give a flying fuck about her. Why they'd forgotten about her.
All whys and whethers that could occur passed her trouble mind.
Was it her? Was she just not good enough for them, like she wasn't good enough for her family? Was she just so imperfect that this was the last straw? They couldn't take her anymore; they couldn't live the lie anymore? Was she just so pitifully fucking useless? Why, why her, why everything?
Hermione's POV
Oh the little pieces falling, shatter. Shards of me, To sharp to put back together. To small to matter, But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
Is this pain meant to be here? I thought Hogwarts was the one place I couldn't be hurt. There was no emotional pain here. No one to go out and get drunk and come home blaming me for everything that has ever gone wrong. Blaming me for what they do wrong. Blaming me for what they did wrong.
Blaming me for what he did wrong. Blaming me for what she did wrong. Blaming me for what he still does wrong.
I know the difference, Between myself and my reflection. I just can't help but to wonder, Which of us do you love?
Everyone sees the grades, the smiles, the achievement when really that's all fake isn't it? Isn't it just fake? I'm fake, the Hermione everyone knows is fake! No one could give two cahoots about my life, whereas I'd chop both my hands off for them, my friends. They wouldn't even give a fingertip. Is there some way I can make this make sense? Can I put back the pieces of my perfect puzzle life? Can I not rewind time, but alas rewind my memory? Can I forget all this shit? All this fucking heartache? I used to think if I was as my reflection is people would prefer me, I was my reflection. Slowly I got separated into two different peoples. The truth behind the lies. That's what this is, all these thoughts, all this pain. I changed my attitude, my clothes but I was still lying. Not only do people not want to know the truth, it appears they're sick of the lie too.
So what choice does that leave me? Sure, I'll apologize to Draco, I'll do whatever I can.
Anything
Everything
End of POV
She hugged her knees, wishing she could be what everyone wanted her to be. Wishing she was what everyone wanted her to be.
The portrait hole slammed open, Draco came in,
"Where's Terry then?" Draco asked her, his voice raised, "WHERE?"
"He went" Hermione said quietly,
"WHY? DID HE HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS?" He shouted,
"No"
"WHY THEN?" Draco shouted ignoring the tears which were now flowing down her cheeks more than ever,
"I did"
"YOU DID WHAT?"
"I had second thoughts, I couldn't do it" She ran over to Draco and placed her arms around him,
He pulled her off,
"Forget it," He said, and made for the stairs, "I sure believe you"
Hermione grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the room,
"I didn't. It was you I wanted, you! I...." She stopped and looked at him through salty ears, "couldn't. Didn't and wouldn't."
"Well you sure could have fooled me shoving it in my face when you knew, YOU JUST KNEW, I couldn't say anything!" He breathed, "Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, how very hilarious of you Hermione!"
"Draco! It was a mistake. He started kissing me and I stopped him, I stopped him." She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, "Please... I... Don't be like this"
"How would you react? You stood there bold as brass, telling everyone about it. How are we meant to tell them now? I thought we could have told them on Christmas day, seen as all of us are staying"
"Well, yeah" Hermione didn't want to risk telling him she wasn't going, "I would have been such a bitch" A flood of guilt overcame her, "I would have shouted, screamed and everything. I would have gone ballistic but I... Please forgive me?"
"Why?"
"Because it will never happen again"
"I suppose" Draco said staring at her, "Come here" He pulled her into a friendly hug, "Now how long have you been crying for?" He asked smiling,
"Since he left, about fifteen minutes after we left you" She looked up at him apologetically, for saying we.
"There was no need to" He said he sat her on his lap. "Classes tomorrow, have you done all your work?"
"When have I not?" She said giggling and sniffing at the same time,
"I take that point, I have too. I'm so tired. Bed?" He asked,
"Yeah" She smiled, "Bed" She moved his arms from around her waist and got off his lap. They went upstairs and Hermione turned into her bedroom. Draco went into his. She stripped down into her black underwear and grabbed a hairbrush off her vanity table. She dodged the shards of mirror. That were reflecting tainted and contorted pictures of her. She was nearly finished brushing her hair when Draco opened the door. She looked at him, trying to hide the shards of glass behind her body and legs. It wasn't working because the glass had flew with the force of the parchment weight hitting it.
"Are you coming or what?" He asked,
"Yeah I'm coming," She said happily, smiling. She ahd thought she'd be in her bed that night. She threw her hairbrush onto the bed and made for the door, she was about to push the Draco out of the door,
"Reparo" He said, and the shard of glass flew back into place. He held Hermione's hand and pulled him into his room. "I don't know why you did that" He said and smiled. He pulled Hermione into bed and put his arms around her waist. He gave her a quick kiss; "Good night" Hermione hugged him close to her body and fell asleep quickly, in his strong arms.
Strong arms, which would never let anything come to harm the girl in them.
Wow, I love that chapter. I'm not sure whether some of you have, but I enjoyed writing it and reading it afterwards makes me think its almost as good as the Draco's thoughts on Lucius one. Loves to all – speshly Miarae and Marina. Hope you're both good. And Amy, if you have time to read it.
Right, long time no right. And long time no thank yous! Sowwy – They will be up ASAP! I am really ill at the moment. I'm not getting any sleep, I have a sore throat, keep being sick and the whole shebang, so you know don't be too harsh. It's a pretty angst-y chapter, so warning yes it is an R. Okay, thanks E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E now onwards...
Summary of last chapter: Hermione nearly went all the way with Terry, but changed her mind at the last minute. She practically gloated to Draco and the others that she was going to have sex with him. She hoped he'd accept her apology. She was sat in her bedroom.
Hermione moved down into the common room. She sat curled up in the armchair. Slow, self-pitied tears dribbling down her freezing cold cheeks. She was sat in front of the fire watching the flames slowly ebb away. She wondered where the hell Draco could be? Whether all her friends were having fun without her. Whether all her friends were in a common room without her. Whether all her friends were outside looking up at the starry night sky without her. Whether her friends were drinking and laughing in the room of requirement without her. Selfish thoughts crossed her mind, like why they didn't care about her. Why they couldn't give a flying fuck about her. Why they'd forgotten about her.
All whys and whethers that could occur passed her trouble mind.
Was it her? Was she just not good enough for them, like she wasn't good enough for her family? Was she just so imperfect that this was the last straw? They couldn't take her anymore; they couldn't live the lie anymore? Was she just so pitifully fucking useless? Why, why her, why everything?
Hermione's POV
Oh the little pieces falling, shatter. Shards of me, To sharp to put back together. To small to matter, But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
Is this pain meant to be here? I thought Hogwarts was the one place I couldn't be hurt. There was no emotional pain here. No one to go out and get drunk and come home blaming me for everything that has ever gone wrong. Blaming me for what they do wrong. Blaming me for what they did wrong.
Blaming me for what he did wrong. Blaming me for what she did wrong. Blaming me for what he still does wrong.
I know the difference, Between myself and my reflection. I just can't help but to wonder, Which of us do you love?
Everyone sees the grades, the smiles, the achievement when really that's all fake isn't it? Isn't it just fake? I'm fake, the Hermione everyone knows is fake! No one could give two cahoots about my life, whereas I'd chop both my hands off for them, my friends. They wouldn't even give a fingertip. Is there some way I can make this make sense? Can I put back the pieces of my perfect puzzle life? Can I not rewind time, but alas rewind my memory? Can I forget all this shit? All this fucking heartache? I used to think if I was as my reflection is people would prefer me, I was my reflection. Slowly I got separated into two different peoples. The truth behind the lies. That's what this is, all these thoughts, all this pain. I changed my attitude, my clothes but I was still lying. Not only do people not want to know the truth, it appears they're sick of the lie too.
So what choice does that leave me? Sure, I'll apologize to Draco, I'll do whatever I can.
Anything
Everything
End of POV
She hugged her knees, wishing she could be what everyone wanted her to be. Wishing she was what everyone wanted her to be.
The portrait hole slammed open, Draco came in,
"Where's Terry then?" Draco asked her, his voice raised, "WHERE?"
"He went" Hermione said quietly,
"WHY? DID HE HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS?" He shouted,
"No"
"WHY THEN?" Draco shouted ignoring the tears which were now flowing down her cheeks more than ever,
"I did"
"YOU DID WHAT?"
"I had second thoughts, I couldn't do it" She ran over to Draco and placed her arms around him,
He pulled her off,
"Forget it," He said, and made for the stairs, "I sure believe you"
Hermione grabbed his arm and pulled him back into the room,
"I didn't. It was you I wanted, you! I...." She stopped and looked at him through salty ears, "couldn't. Didn't and wouldn't."
"Well you sure could have fooled me shoving it in my face when you knew, YOU JUST KNEW, I couldn't say anything!" He breathed, "Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, how very hilarious of you Hermione!"
"Draco! It was a mistake. He started kissing me and I stopped him, I stopped him." She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, "Please... I... Don't be like this"
"How would you react? You stood there bold as brass, telling everyone about it. How are we meant to tell them now? I thought we could have told them on Christmas day, seen as all of us are staying"
"Well, yeah" Hermione didn't want to risk telling him she wasn't going, "I would have been such a bitch" A flood of guilt overcame her, "I would have shouted, screamed and everything. I would have gone ballistic but I... Please forgive me?"
"Why?"
"Because it will never happen again"
"I suppose" Draco said staring at her, "Come here" He pulled her into a friendly hug, "Now how long have you been crying for?" He asked smiling,
"Since he left, about fifteen minutes after we left you" She looked up at him apologetically, for saying we.
"There was no need to" He said he sat her on his lap. "Classes tomorrow, have you done all your work?"
"When have I not?" She said giggling and sniffing at the same time,
"I take that point, I have too. I'm so tired. Bed?" He asked,
"Yeah" She smiled, "Bed" She moved his arms from around her waist and got off his lap. They went upstairs and Hermione turned into her bedroom. Draco went into his. She stripped down into her black underwear and grabbed a hairbrush off her vanity table. She dodged the shards of mirror. That were reflecting tainted and contorted pictures of her. She was nearly finished brushing her hair when Draco opened the door. She looked at him, trying to hide the shards of glass behind her body and legs. It wasn't working because the glass had flew with the force of the parchment weight hitting it.
"Are you coming or what?" He asked,
"Yeah I'm coming," She said happily, smiling. She ahd thought she'd be in her bed that night. She threw her hairbrush onto the bed and made for the door, she was about to push the Draco out of the door,
"Reparo" He said, and the shard of glass flew back into place. He held Hermione's hand and pulled him into his room. "I don't know why you did that" He said and smiled. He pulled Hermione into bed and put his arms around her waist. He gave her a quick kiss; "Good night" Hermione hugged him close to her body and fell asleep quickly, in his strong arms.
Strong arms, which would never let anything come to harm the girl in them.
Wow, I love that chapter. I'm not sure whether some of you have, but I enjoyed writing it and reading it afterwards makes me think its almost as good as the Draco's thoughts on Lucius one. Loves to all – speshly Miarae and Marina. Hope you're both good. And Amy, if you have time to read it.