Lifetimes

by Julie Horwitz

My version of Nefer-Tina's past. A sequel to Truth's Consequences and To Have and To Hold.

2. Part 2

Nefer-Tina coughed violently as she finished vomiting into the chamber pot. She prayed that this was the last time for the day.

She had been getting these mysterious sick spells every morning now for over a week. They had left her throat raw and added to the already unbearable pain that wracked her entire body. She had no idea what was causing them and she was starting to get scared.

For about a week after...it...had happened, she'd been fine healthwise. (The physical pain, which had yet to go away, had forced her to remain in bed for most of that time. Her back had been the source of most of the pain. Even trying to move had been agony. She had had to convince Selkis and the other matrons that she was sick so that they would leave her alone. The fact that she had screamed herself hoarse aided her lie.) Other than the pain, nothing had been wrong with her. In fact, towards the end of the seven days, she'd begun feeling slightly better and had started moving around a little bit. Then this whole thing had started.

Every morning at almost exactly the same time, she woke up extremely nauseous and had to vomit. It didn't matter whether or not she had eaten the night before. The nausea unfailingly greeted her first thing in the morning.

Obviously she was sick. But with what, she had no idea. She'd never heard of such an illness before. What kind of sickness only made you sick in the morning? How had she gotten it, and, more importantly, how could she get it to go away?

She had to see a physician as soon as possible. She'd given up any hope of getting better on her own days ago. That was the only way to find out what was truly wrong with her. And hopefully he would have a cure for whatever it was. She couldn't go on pretending that nothing was wrong for too much longer.

She hadn't told anyone about her sick spells. She didn't want anyone knowing about them, especially Selkis. Selkis would probably think that it was a continuation of her "illness" from the week before and insist that she see the royal physician. Knowing Selkis, she'd bring her to see him herself. And then he'd find out... And he'd tell...

She didn't even want to imagine what would happen if her secret shame was discovered. She was hated enough as it was. (The thought of just Tia learning about it made her more ill than her sick spells. There was no telling how she'd react.) She'd probably be thrown out and forced to return home. Then Mama and Papa would find out...

No, it had to be someone outside of the palace. Someone who wouldn't recognize her as a palace musician. Someone to whom she could tell a convincing lie. Someone who would help her and then she'd never have to see again.

But in order to find that someone, she would first have to leave the palace. And that meant getting permission from Selkis. And since going out into the city would cause her to miss practice sessions, Selkis had to know why she wouldn't be there. But what-

Her thoughts were interrupted by another bout of vomiting.

When it passed, she wiped her mouth and tried to regroup her thoughts.

She had to come up with a good reason to give Selkis for going out into Memphis. It had to be something that Selkis wouldn't question. As kind as Selkis always was to her, asking for something like this so soon after missing an entire week of practice and two performances would be pushing things. Her reason had to be so innocent that Selkis wouldn't think twice about letting her go.

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door.

"Nefer-Tina! Practice starts in ten minutes," Reonet called.

"I know! I'll be out in a few minutes," she called back.

Praying that she was done vomiting for the morning, she got out of her bed and slowly began getting dressed.

It was time for yet another day of pretending that there was nothing wrong.

Just until I can get help, she promised herself. And then everything will go back to normal.

Just a little while longer.

((((())))))

Tia smirked as she observed the whore once again try to hide a wince of pain, a very frequent occurrence these days. It was highly amusing to watch.

The slut had been trying to cover up her obvious misery ever since emerging from her seclusion two weeks ago. (Tia had been impressed that she had hidden for only a week after what had happened. She was evidently made of stronger stuff than Tia had ever believed. Not that it ever showed in any of her actions.) However it was an exercise in futility. Anyone with eyes could see that something wasn't right with the girl. It was only a matter of time before someone insisted that she see a healer. And then all of Tia's problems would be over.

Only the whore would be stupid enough to hide the fact that she had been raped. Any other woman would have immediately reported it. But not Nefer-Tina. Oh, no, not the idiotic slut who was so determined not to ever go back home. Only she would keep it a secret. And by doing so ensure that she'd be thrown out and humiliated in front of the entire court.

Although Tia had been furious at Arakh for supposedly leaving her for dead (She had, after all, not wanted the girl killed. Gone, but not dead.), his blatant cruelty had done a better job than a mere threat and beating ever would have. By raping her, he had inadvertently created a situation that would result in the whore being out of the picture for good. When a physician discovered she was not a virgin as she was supposed to be, it would be assumed that she had a lover. (A laughable prospect, of course.) And when she belatedly claimed rape, no one would believe her. It would been seen as an attempt at protecting her lover, most likely a married one.

It was too perfect.

And best of all, when Ja-Kal at last learned of her existence, it would only be as a wanton slut and tramp. He would see her as the piece of low-class trash that she was. And Tia would make sure Nefer-Tina knew all about that. She could already imagine the look of devastation on the lovesick whore's face. Just thinking about it sent a thrill through her body.

And after the slut was finally gone, she'd be free to begin her push for Ja-Kal to finally marry her...

And all of this was possible because of Arakh's utter (thank the gods) incompetence to finish a kill. She'd had to thank him somehow. Perhaps a belated wedding gift...

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina took a deep breath as she stood outside of the healer's home.

This is it, she told herself. I'll finally know what's wrong with me.

She had now been sick for over a month and her mystery illness had gotten even worse. Not only was she still vomiting every morning, but now she had missed her monthly bleeding time too. She never missed her bleeding time. Ever. Something was very, very wrong with her.

If only she could have gotten to a healer sooner. Unfortunately, her duties as a palace musician had prevented her from taking the necessary time until now. There had been three mandatory performances for which she would not have dared miss practice time. They had all been for very important visitors to the palace and Selkis had made it very clear that the pharaoh was counting on them to thoroughly impress his guests. So she had had to wait.

Yesterday afternoon she had gone to Selkis with her carefully crafted story. She had told her that her parents' anniversary was coming up, which was true, and since, for the first time, she would not be there to spend it with them, she wanted to send them a special gift, which was the only actual lie. (She didn't have enough money to buy them anything as well as see a healer. She didn't even know if she had enough to pay the healer!) Selkis had immediately believed her story and granted her permission to go into the city the next day. She had even given her some extra money to spend. (Maybe she could buy them something after all.) As long as she was back by curfew, she could stay out as long as she wanted.

Once outside, Nefer-Tina had begun her search for a healer. Her first step had been to make her way to the outskirts of Memphis, ensuring that she was as far away from the palace as she could get. Then she had started asking the various merchants for the location of the nearest physician. The closest and most highly recommended was a man by the name of Amenmose, who lived just outside of the city.

Gathering up every last scrap of courage she possessed, she walked up to the door...

Which opened before she could even knock, startling her.

"I was starting to wonder if you'd ever decide to come in," the elderly man who had opened the door greeted her. "You've been standing outside my front door for quite a long time now." He gave her a warm smile. "I promise you that there's nothing to be afraid of."

If only I could believe you.

"A-are you Amenmose the healer?" she stammered, still shaken by his sudden appearance.

"That I am, my child," he confirmed, still smiling. "How may I help you today?"

She swallowed nervously. "I-I haven't been feeling too well lately. I was h-hoping you could tell me what was wrong and, if possible, give me some sort of medicine to take for it."

"Sounds easy enough," he said, his smile still firmly in place. "I'll give you a good looking over and see what I can find out for you." He stepped back from the doorway. "Please, come in and we'll get started."

"T-thank you," she managed with a weak smile of her own. She stepped into the little house.

Once inside, she noticed that the structure was so tiny that it only consisted of one room divided up into several living areas. She assumed that the small cot against the back wall of the house was where he performed his examinations.

"This way," he told her, motioning for her to follow. He led her to a small table set up very close to the cot.

"Please, have a seat," he said, motioning for her to sit down.

Giving him another tiny smile, she sat down on one of the chairs and waited for him to join her.

"All right," he began, "we'll start off simple. You'll describe your symptoms to me and I'll see if I can recognize them. All right?"

She nodded.

"Good," he said. "Now, tell me everything you can think of."

"Well, my symptoms are pretty strange," she started. "I only actually feel sick in the morning and that's it. I wake up extremely nauseous and I have to immediately vomit. It doesn't make a difference whether or not I ate before going to bed. I'm always sick as soon as I wake up."

"Ah, I see," Amenmose said, a strange sound in his voice. "And for about how long would you say that this been going on?"

"Maybe five weeks," she informed him, a sudden shiver passing through her. Did he already know? "Maybe longer. I'm not exactly sure."

"All right. What else can you tell me?"

"Like I said I feel sick only once a day," she continued. "That's what's so strange about the whole thing. After I finish vomiting, I feel perfectly fine."

Which was true to an extent. She was still in pain from that...night...but it was beginning to fade. She could almost ignore it now.

"But I'm not fine," she went on. "Because it starts all over again the next morning. There's obviously something very wrong with me."

"Well, I wouldn't say that quite yet," Amenmose commented, both surprising her and confirming her suspicion that he had already diagnosed her.

"Do you know what it is?" she asked, feeling a ray of hope. If he knew, was there a cure?

"I have a suspicion," he corrected. "What is your name, child?"

"K-karem," she answered, looking back up at him. I hope you don't mind, Mama.

"Am I right in assuming that you haven't shared your 'illness' with anyone other than myself, Karem?"

She nodded.

He gave a little smile at that. "I thought not."

He was smiling? What did he suspect she had?

"Are you married, Karem?"

She nodded again, relieved that she had been right to create a false identity for herself though unsure of why it would matter if he did not know whether or not she was a virgin.

"Good. Have you had any other symptoms? Have you, perhaps, missed your last bleeding time?"

Her mouth fell open in surprise. "Y-yes. How did you...?"

"What about tenderness in your breasts?"

"I..."

She didn't know how to answer the question. She was tender all over her body because of...of... But now that she was thinking about it, there was an increase in the soreness of her breasts. Still minor compared to what it had been, but more noticeable than the rest of her body. She had just assumed it was part of her other injuries. Was it part of her mysterious sickness then?

She finally nodded. "Yes." The ray of hope was growing larger. It was obvious his suspicions were correct. And since he was acting very calm about it, it was something curable. "What do you think is wrong with me?"

"Nothing," he said matter-of-factly. "From your symptoms, I would say you're perfectly healthy."

What? Healthy?

"But I can't be entirely sure until I run a few tests. However, I can tell you with complete confidence that you are suffering from the classic symptoms of a woman who is going to have a baby..."

((((())))))

"...who is going to have a baby."

The moment Tia heard those beautiful words spoken, she knew that the whore was finally as good as gone.

Pregnant! The stupid slut was pregnant! And all because Arakh had thought it an ingenious idea to use her to take care of his "needs," as he had so proudly put it. (The man was a complete idiot, but he had his uses as this wonderful turn of events proved.) Could things be any more perfect?

She hadn't considered the possibility of the girl getting pregnant from the rape. After all, Arakh couldn't even get his own wife with child and not for lack of trying either. (Wouldn't it be ironic if Irikara was barren? Tia had specifically chosen her for Arakh because she had the ideal child-bearing shape. But they had been married for almost two months and there was still no sign of a baby. Perhaps a fertility test was in order...) Just the fact that her virginity had been taken had been enough to guarantee her complete and utter humiliation upon discovery. But now she was pregnant as well. And everyone knew what the punishment for an unmarried maiden with child was.

Banishment.

She would be gone forever with no way to ever return to Memphis.

Tia's future with Ja-Kal would be secure one again.

But in order for any of this to take place, the whore would have to actually be discovered. And the chances of that happening any time soon were slim.

Before she had known of the pregnancy, Tia had been counting on Selkis, the matron who inexplicably treated the slut as a daughter, to notice that Nefer-Tina was in pain. That was why she had stayed away. She had wanted the whore to remain in Selkis's sights at all times.

Unfortunately, Selkis and the other matrons had been too busy to notice such minor details. And the more time passed, the less pain the girl was in. Tia had begun to worry that this perfect opportunity to be rid of the whore was going to pass her by. And there was nothing she could do about it. Saying anything would only draw suspicion and that was the last thing she had wanted.

So when Tabes had brought her the news of Nefer-Tina's plans to go out into Memphis, Tia had seen it as an opportunity to confront the girl and "suggest" that she go see the royal physician at her earliest convenience. The slut was so afraid of her that her compliance was guaranteed. Once Tia knew that the whore had been examined, she could just sit back and enjoy the drama that she knew was going to unfold.

However, at the very moment she was going to make her presence known was the exact moment the slut had asked a merchant where she could find the nearest healer.

The question had frozen her in place, surprising her. Why did Nefer-Tina need to see a healer? And why not just go the royal physician (which would have saved a lot of time)? Why the secrecy and cover story? What was the girl trying to hide?

She had seemed perfectly fine to Tia. With the exception of the pain she had been suffering, the whore had been her normal stupid self. So what was bothering her enough to go to these great lengths to be examined?

It was possible the girl has some common sense after all. She probably was aware of the consequences from losing her virginity and wanted to prevent her secret from being found out. (Wasn't that why she had been hiding her pain from Selkis and the others?) But what was wrong with her? Tia had had to find out.

And found out she had. The healer's diagnosis had told her everything she needed to know and then some. With the exception of the healer who would never see her again, Tia was the only one who knew the slut's dirty little secret. A secret that would serve as the key to finally ridding herself of the whore's presence.

Deciding there was no longer any reason to stay, Tia carefully got to her feet and moved away from her position beneath the window. She had heard everything she needed to know. It was time to begin planning how she would use this information to expel the slut once and for all...

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina lay on her bed, still reeling from the news she had received only hours earlier.

A baby. She was going to have a baby.

What in the names of all the gods was she going to do?

She was an unmarried maiden. To be with child was the most heinous crime possible. The loss of her virginity was nothing compared to this. If she was discovered...

She was now twice shamed. First her virginity had been stolen by that monster and now she was pregnant. Pregnant by the very man who had violated her and then left her for dead. She was a disgrace in the eyes of the world. What was so wrong with her that one bad thing after another kept happening?

All she knew was that she had to get away from here before she began to show. The moment her pregnancy became visible was the moment that any chance of salvaging a life for herself anywhere was over. She would be made an example of in front of all of Egypt. And then she would be banished from Memphis.

She would have no place to go.

She knew she couldn't go back home if that happened. She didn't think she'd be able to stand the disgust Mama and Papa would hold for her. They would hate her, consider her a disgrace and a failure. They would truly stop loving her.

A person who had been banished would not be welcome anywhere. The news of her banishment would spread like wildfire, warning everyone of the musician who had given herself to a man outside of marriage and ended up carrying his child. She would be turned away wherever she went. She would not be able to find work to support herself and her child. They would have no money, no home...

She shook the thought away. None of those things would happen because she was not going to be discovered. She was going to leave Memphis as soon as possible, hopefully in the next week or so. It was the only way to protect herself and her baby.

Despite the fact that this child was the product of violence, Nefer-Tina had already made up her mind that she would love him or her no matter what. This would probably be the only child she would ever have and she was going to treasure it. He or she did not have to know his or her origins. He or she would be told of a loving father who tragically died before his or her birth. A fantasy father who would be very much like the man she loved...

Ja-Kal. She would miss seeing him so much. He had become such an important part of her life without actually being in her life. She loved him with her heart and soul. If only this baby could have been his...

Realizing she had a lot of planning to do and not much time to do it in, she sat up in her bed and reached for the nearest scroll and pen.

She had a letter to write to her parents explaining why she was leaving the ranks of the royal musicians...

((((())))))

"Ready?" Tia asked Tabes as the two women lurked just outside the entrance of a hallway where three servant girls were busy scrubbing the floor.

"Of course," Tabes grinned. "Let's do this."

Tia smiled back. "On my mark..."

The plan Tia had formulated to get rid of the slut once and for all required two people to make it work. So she had immediately sought out Tabes, the one person whose hatred of Nefer-Tina nearly rivaled her own. Tabes had jumped at the chance to help get rid of their shared nuisance. (And the news of the girl's pregnancy had only fueled her desire to help.)

The plan was simple: the two of them were going to start a nasty rumor about Nefer-Tina.

Tia's years of living in Memphis had taught her that gossip was the lifeblood of the people, from the poorest of merchants to the richest members of the pharaoh's court. All of them loved to think the worst of their fellow Egyptians. And they enjoyed spreading rumors about them even more. The more scandalous it was, the better. And what could be more scandalous than the tale of the palace musician who had gotten herself pregnant by her married lover?

She and Tabes had worked very hard to create just the right mix of fact and fiction. They had wanted their story to be interesting yet close enough to the truth so that there'd be no doubt that Nefer-Tina was the musician in question. Or the version of the truth that Tia had told Tabes. (Both Tia and Arakh's roles in the events leading up to the pregnancy had to remain a secret, for both of their sakes. Discovery would lead to death.) Both were in agreement that there was no lover (as if the slut was capable of getting one) and that she had most likely been tricked into having sex. So they made up a married lover, the perfect and most plausible embellishment.

It was a story that would easily be believed. The slut was incredibly beautiful and it was a logical assumption that a married man could fall for her. No one would doubt that it was true. Not even the pharaoh.

Amenhotep believing the rumor was the key to the entire scheme. Only his involvement would seal her fate. And there was no question he would. A rumor implying that one of his personal servants had broken the law could not be ignored. If true and he did nothing, it would make him look weak. And as the supposed living representation of the gods, he could not afford to ever look weak. It would lead to the people starting to doubt him, which could not be allowed to happen. He would have no choice but to act quickly to put an end to the rumor. And when it was found to be true...

Nefer-Tina's time in Memphis was finished.

"Go," Tia instructed.

The two of them strode out into the hallway, immediately pausing to make sure that the servant girls noticed them.

"No, no one seems to know who the father is," Tia began, launching into the conversation that they had rehearsed. "She refuses to tell anyone his name."

"Probably because he's married," Tabes recited with a snort. "Why else would they be keeping their relationship a secret?"

"Well, it won't be a secret for much longer," Tia told her. "Once word of her pregnancy gets out, everyone will know that she has a lover."

"As if she'll tell anyone his name then," Tabes continued. "It's obvious she's in love with him."

"Of course she's in love with him," Tia asserted while taking a surreptitious glance at the servant girls.

All three had stopped what they were doing and were listening intently.

That's right. Take the bait like the good little gossips you are.

"She spread her legs for him, didn't she?" she continued. "Even someone as stupid as she knows the punishment for losing her virginity while unmarried. He probably promised that he'd leave his wife for her."

"Idiot," Tabes snorted again. "I assumed she plans on resigning her position as a palace musician?"

Tia made a small gesture with her hand to indicate that they should start walking.

"That's what I've heard," Tia confirmed as they resumed traveling down the short hallway. "It's quite a shame, really. She's supposed to be the best of all the musicians."

"It's her own fault," Tabes decided and Tia could see that she was struggling to keep a straight face. "The moment she took up with him she risked losing everything and now she has. At least she'll have her bastard child to remember him by."

Tia nearly smiled herself at Tabes's ad lib. "It was her choice," she agreed. "Now she has to live with it."

"And without her man," Tabes added yet another unscripted remark. "Stupid girl. Anyone who even thinks of feeling sorry for her is as dumb as she is."

Having fun, aren't you? Tia thought. Tabes was really getting into this. It was entertaining to witness.

"Well, we'll see how stupid she really is if she succeeds in resigning before word of her condition gets around," Tia said. "I hear she plans on being gone long before she begins to show."

"That would be too bad," Tabes decided as they reached the end of the hall. "She deserves..."

As they passed into the next hall, Tabes left the final line of their script unsaid.

They quickly moved out of sight and listened for the inevitable talk.

They were instantly rewarded.

"By the gods!" the first one began. "Can you believe what they were just saying?"

"Of course," another one said. "It's more common that you think. Those rich girls think they're above the law. I hope she gets caught."

"I wonder who it is," the third came in. "I don't know anything about any of them."

"Oh, I'm sure plenty of people know," the second one spoke again. "You just have to ask the right people..."

"And that takes care of that," Tia said smugly.

"Perfect," Tabes smiled. "It won't be long now before it spreads throughout the entire palace. I can't wait until she's caught."

"Neither can I," Tia agreed.

"Neither can I."

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina carefully replaced the sheet over the nearly-complete pile of travel supplies. She was only in need of a few more items. And the sooner she got them, the sooner she could finally leave.

The week she had initially planned for had turned into two, then three, and finally a month because of a sudden flood of unscheduled performances. There had been concerts for visiting dignitaries, banquet performances, and private shows for the royal family and their guests. All of which had required extra practice time. (Selkis was adamant that they could never give less than a perfect performance.) And on top of all that, Selkis had continued to send her on numerous errands all over the palace.

Because of all this, she had been left with very little free time to prepare for her flight from Memphis. She had been lucky to get even one necessary item a day if any at all. It was frustrating and frightening, but there had been nothing she could do. As long as she remained a palace musician, she would have to perform her duties.

And the longer she remained, the more frightened she became. Her body was changing daily and already there was a bulge in her belly. She had begun wearing oversized clothing weeks ago, but they could not disguise her condition indefinitely. Unless she left soon, she would be discovered.

Her sole comfort was Tia's continued absence. She had not seen or heard from Tia in months. In fact, there had been no sign of her since the day before...it had happened. (Ja-Kal, on the other hand, continued to be almost everywhere Selkis sent her on an errand. Seeing him and knowing that it could be for the last time killed her. If only she could speak to him...) She doubted Tia had forgotten about her or had finally realized that she was no threat. She could only assume that she was busy elsewhere and could not find the time to torment her. She prayed that this miracle would last until she could leave and then she would never have to worry about Tia again.

After all of her supplies were gathered, she would still have two final tasks to perform before she could actually leave. The first was to send the letter she had composed to her parents. All it said was that she had decided that she couldn't be a palace musician anymore and that she was going to travel for a while. She told them that she did not know when she would return home. (Which would probably be never. How would she explain her child to them?) The second was to tell Selkis that she was leaving.

Just the thought of facing Selkis made her ill. She knew that Selkis would not let her go without an explanation. She would also try anything and everything to convince her to stay. She would not like the idea of losing such a "talent," as she often called her. But she would have to be strong and demand to be given leave time. It was the only way to protect both herself and her child.

She placed a hand over her slightly rounded belly.

"Don't worry, my little one," she promised her baby. "We'll get through this and then we'll be safe. I'll take such good care of you. You are going to be so loved. I promise you."

She was very close to leaving. It wouldn't even be another week. This time she was positive.

Her secret would remain safe.

((((())))))

And he wonders why I chose his brother over him, Tia mused as she listened to Arakh rant.

Arakh had shown up at her home after angrily storming out of the royal physician's office. He had finally taken Irikara, as Tia had been urging him to for months, to have her fertility tested and, upon hearing the negative results, had become infuriated. So he had gone to Tia to blame her for his "bad luck" since she was the one who had chosen Irikara for him.

"This is all your fault," he was raging. "'She's perfect,' you said. 'Marry her,' you said. So I do and what happens? I find out the woman can't have children! Now I'm stuck with a wife who can't give me my son! What in the names of all the gods am I supposed to do?"

"You could calm down and stop acting like a spoiled child," she suggested, earning a glare from the insulted party. "You're overreacting. So what if Irikara can't have children? She's still the perfect wife for you. You couldn't find a better woman if you tried. There is another way for you to get your precious son. Just adopt one."

"Adopt?" he repeated contemptuously. "Are you serious?"

"Of course," she said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You think I want to raise someone else's unwanted brat as my own?" He made a face. "No thank you."

"So you'd rather go childless?"

"Hardly," he informed her. "I'll just divorce the worthless bitch and find another wife who can give me my son. You know plenty of women, right?"

"Is that all you think a wife is good for?" she asked incredulously. "Bearing you a son?"

"Why else would you need to get married?" he asserted. "You can get any woman to cook or clean for you if they even think you'll marry them. And there are more than enough prostitutes with to relieve your needs with. The only reason you need a wife is to have children."

Idiot. "So I suppose you think that's all I'm going to do for Ja-Kal when he marries me?"

"You mean if he ever marries you," he snorted. "My stupid brother doesn't know how good he has it. Most women would have walked out on him by now. I, on the other hand, would have married you years ago."

Tia ignored the remark. Would the man ever give up?

"Ja-Kal is going to marry me, Arakh," she informed him. "I promise you. I'll be his wife sooner than you think."

Arakh snorted a second time. "Yeah, right."

"We were talking about why you refuse to adopt a child," she changed the subject. "Just because a child is unwanted doesn't mean he wouldn't make you a fine son."

"But there's no guarantee," he pointed out. "Besides, there has to be something wrong with it if the parents don't want it. And if they don't want it, why would I want it?"

"Children aren't always given up because they aren't wanted," she told him. "Sometimes the parents just can't handle another mouth to feed. The baby could be perfectly healthy. You would be surprised at how many children are adopted."

"So what if it's healthy?" Arakh complained. "That still doesn't mean it'll be any good to me when it grows up. I need a son that's strong and intelligent. And the only way I can be sure of that is if he's my own son. Not someone else's discarded spawn."

Because you're so strong and intelligent yourself? Idiot, she snorted to herself.

Maybe it was a blessing that Irikara was barren. There were enough idiots in the world. She shuddered at the thought of him reproducing...

Again.

Unfortunately, Arakh already did have one child on the way. He just didn't know it. And given who the mother was...

Suddenly a wonderful idea came to her.

"What if I told you that there was a child going to be born in the next five months that, if it were a boy, could be yours?" she queried.

"And why would I want it?" he countered.

Because it's yours, she thought. Aloud, she said, "Because I'm going to take it away from its mother the moment that it's born."

"Oh, really. And does the mother know this?"

"She doesn't even realize that I know she's pregnant."

His eyes widened. "Tell me more."

"With pleasure."

((((())))))

I'm sorry Mama and Papa, Nefer-Tina thought as she watched the messenger set out with her letter. I love you so much.

She felt ill at the thought of never seeing her parents again but it had to be. They could never know of her shame...or her child. She wanted them to be proud of her and think that she was living the life they wanted for her. If they ever learned the truth...

The trip to Memphis from the farm had taken two days. It would hopefully take that long for the letter to get there. She planned to be long gone by the time they read it.

Tomorrow morning she would go to speak with Selkis.

By tomorrow afternoon, she would be on the road, seeking a new home for herself and her unborn baby.

Pushing away the sadness, she turned back towards the palace.

She had work to do.

((((())))))

"I wish you didn't have to go," Tia sighed as Ja-Kal pulled her into his arms. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I won't be gone long," he assured her. "This is just a short hunting trip. It shouldn't take more than a week or two. I'll be back before you know it."

"But it'll still seem like an eternity," she insisted, clinging to him. "It's so lonely when you aren't here."

Ja-Kal continued to hold her but said nothing. Tia always got like this whenever he had to go away for any length of time. He never understood why she suddenly became so insecure about their relationship. She knew he loved her and would never leave her. He hoped things would change once they were married.

Besides, he had larger concerns. Arakh was going on this trip as well. Amenhotep had suddenly decided that enough time had passed and that Arakh could be trusted to behave himself. Ja-Kal disagreed, but he could not argue with his pharaoh. And Amenhotep was particularly adamant about this decision. (Ja-Kal had a feeling he had been pressured to reinstate Arakh, but by who and why?)

In fact, this was probably the worst time to set his brother loose on innocent animals. Two days ago Arakh had learned that his wife could not have children, something Ja-Kal knew Arakh desperately wanted. (One of his oft-repeated rants had to do with having a son and raising him "right," whatever that meant.) Arakh was furious and that meant he was at his most violent. Ja-Kal felt sick at the thought of what might happen during the trip.

Ja-Kal knew this because Irikara had come running to him after Arakh had stormed out of the physician's office. She was desperate for advice and comfort, neither of which Ja-Kal could give her. Arakh was erratic and unpredictable when he was angry. All he could tell her was to wait it out.

His heart went out to his sister-in-law. She was a brave woman for marrying Arakh and even braver for staying with him after learning his true nature. Most women would have fled in fear of their lives by now. He hoped she knew what she was doing.

He turned his thoughts back to the woman in his arms and how lucky he was to have her.

"I always come back to you," he told Tia. "Always. I love you."

"I love you too," she weakly smiled at him. "So much."

He gently dislodged her from the embrace and leaned down to kiss her.

After he broke the kiss, she quietly urged, "Hurry back to me, my love."

"I will. I promise."

"Then kiss me again," she implored. "Kiss me as if it were the last time."

Still confused by her insecurity, he heeded her wishes and kissed her as if it were their final goodbye.

He hoped he would get a promotion soon. The sooner he got better pay, the sooner he could marry her.

And then she would never have to worry about him abandoning her again.

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina checked her appearance in the mirror one last time. She had to be sure that she looked perfectly normal for her visit with Selkis. Selkis was extremely observant. If she noticed anything unusual...

She won't, she promised herself. She can't.

The dress she wore was the largest she owned and it hung off of her body like a sack. It covered her protruding belly well. No one would be able to tell that she was pregnant.

"We're almost safe, my little one," she told her baby, laying her hands on her belly through the thick material. "Just a little while longer. I promise you."

Today was the day. Everything was at last ready. All of her travel bags were packed and the letter to her parents was well on its way to the farm. All that was left was to speak with Selkis and tell her that she was leaving.

And as soon as that was done, she would walk out of the palace doors for the very last time.

Taking a deep breath, she walked over to her own door and opened it...

Only to find Tia waiting for her.

No... Oh, gods, no...

"Good morning, little whore," Tia greeted in her customary way. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Shock and the fear she had not felt in months immediately filled Nefer-Tina's body.

"No..." she whispered, beginning to tremble as she took a reflexive step backwards.

Why now? Why did she have to show up right now? Now when she was about to leave this place behind her forever? Gods, why?

"I'm sorry I haven't been to see you lately," Tia began, entering the room and causing Nefer-Tina to back up again. "It's just that I have so little time to myself these days. Ja-Kal has been keeping me so busy." She paused, a smile on her lips. "We've grown closer than ever."

As the initial shock wore off, Nefer-Tina did something she had never done before...never been able to do before: she pulled herself back together.

As afraid as she was, Tia and her hatred were nothing compared to what would happen if her secret was found out. Tia's words, as hurtful as they were, were only words. They could not actually do anything to her. But if her pregnancy was discovered...

She had to leave today.

"In fact," Tia continued as she came further into the room, "I have a feeling that he's going to ask me to marry him very soon. Maybe as soon as he gets back from the hunting trip he left on yesterday morning."

Just let her talk, Nefer-Tina told herself, still moving backwards, wanting to keep as much distance between herself and Tia as possible. Just let her talk and leave.

Tia was just speculating, Nefer-Tina knew. There was no guarantee when Ja-Kal would ask Tia to marry him. But it was something that was going to happen. Ja-Kal loved Tia. It was only a matter of time before she became his wife.

At least I won't be here to see it, she consoled herself.

"Wouldn't that be wonderful?" Tia said with that smile of hers.

Nefer-Tina said nothing. She only continued to back away.

Finish and leave. Please just leave.

"No," Tia decided, still moving forward, "it wouldn't be to you, would it? Not when you love Ja-Kal so very much."

Nefer-Tina could not suppress the gasp of shock at the revelation. Tia...knew?

"Oh my gods..." she whispered.

Tia chuckled, visibly amused by the effect her words were having. "I thought you'd be surprised. Don't you know by now that you can't hide anything from me, little whore? I know everything there is to know about you.

"Everything."

Nefer-Tina's backward motion came to an abrupt end as she ran into her bed. Not knowing what else to do, she sat down on the edge.

She couldn't believe it. Tia knew. She knew!

Yet she hadn't said anything until now. Why?

And if she knew about her love of Ja-Kal...

"Truthfully, how could I not know?" Tia went on as she reached the bed and came to tower over her. "You're so obvious it's sickening. A person would have to be blind not to notice the way you're always staring at him."

Maybe she doesn't know, Nefer-Tina thought with relief. Why else would she have waited so long to "visit" again?

There was also the fact that she had failed to notice the travel packs lying out in the open. Nefer-Tina had moved them there in preparation of her escape. Tia usually noticed everything. Then again, she had probably just been too eager to share her "news" to pay attention to her surroundings. Because if she had known of Nefer-Tina's pregnancy and her plans...

"That's how I always seem to find you these days," Tia was saying. "Standing in some doorway, staring like the lovesick girl you are. You really are a disgusting sight to behold. You're very lucky Ja-Kal himself hasn't noticed you.

"Because you know what would happen if he did."

Finish and leave. Finish and leave, Nefer-Tina silently chanted.

She wanted Tia out of her room...her life. The longer she stayed, the greater the chance she would notice the travel packs. All she wanted was to never see her again. And once she left this place she would never have to.

If only she could have seen Ja-Kal just one last time...

"But enough about your ridiculous infatuation with Ja-Kal," Tia suddenly changed the subject. "As enjoyable as I am finding this conversation, it's not the reason I came to see you. You see, little whore, I need your help with something."

Nefer-Tina stared at her in utter disbelief.

Tia needed her help? Was she serious?

"Believe me, you're the last person I would ever want to ask for help," Tia informed her, "but since you're the only musician I know, what choice do I have?"

Musician? Why would Tia, whose low opinion of musicians in general was well-known to Nefer-Tina, need one's help?

Or was this some kind of trick? Nefer-Tina wouldn't put something that low past her.

"There's a rumor that's been going around for weeks," Tia filled her in, "and it concerns an unnamed palace musician. Have you, by any chance, heard it?"

Nefer-Tina shook her head. She hadn't heard any rumors, but, then again, how could she? No one besides Selkis and the other matrons talked to her. (Tabes and her friends only spoke to her when they had something nasty to say.) And they weren't the type to spread rumors.

But Tia's interest in it made her curious. What could the rumor be about?

"No, you wouldn't have, would you?" Tia decided. "That would require you to have friends."

Nefer-Tina ignored the remark. The sooner Tia asked her question, the sooner she would leave. And the sooner she'd never have to see her again...

"Not that it matters," Tia went on. "You don't have to be familiar with the rumor to tell me what I want to know."

Nefer-Tina wondered what Tia possibly thought she knew.

"Have you, by any chance, noticed any...unusual behavior in any of your fellow musicians?" Tia questioned.

"Unusual behavior?" Nefer-Tina repeated, unsure of what Tia was looking for. "W-what do you mean?"

Tia chuckled. "Only you would ask something that stupid. I'll make it simple for you. Have you noticed anyone suddenly doing something they've never done before? Such as a talkative person suddenly becoming very quiet and secretive? Or someone who was known for spending her free time alone suddenly starts going out with friends? That is what I mean."

Nefer-Tina shook her head. "No."

What was this rumor about? And why would someone suddenly changing behavior have anything to do with it?

Tia let out a sigh. "I thought as much. So much for finding out the easy way."

Nefer-Tina was more curious than ever now. Who could it be? And why did Tia want to know so badly?

"Oh well, I guess I'll just have to find the wanton slut some other way."

So that's why she's interested, Nefer-Tina realized. Tia saw this "wanton slut" as yet another threat to her relationship with Ja-Kal. And she wanted to find out who she was in order to warn her to say away from him. Tia's pursuit of this rumor now made perfect sense.

Again she wondered what exactly was the rumor.

"I'm sorry I wasted your time," Tia apologized as she took a couple of steps backwards. "Although it was wonderful seeing you again.

"I'll definitely come back to visit soon," she promised. "Until next time...little whore."

With that, much to Nefer-Tina's relief, Tia turned around and began to walk away.

Thank the gods.

Nefer-Tina then got to her feet, grateful that she hadn't reached the point in her pregnancy where an act as simple as standing up would become a chore.

It was just one more reason why leaving today was so important.

She glanced up at Tia who had almost reached the door. She had once again passed the travel packs without comment.

Tia finally arrived at the door...

And stopped.

"You know," Tia said thoughtfully, turning back around, "I couldn't help but notice your dress. A little big on you, isn't it?"

Nefer-Tina froze.

"Why are you wearing such a ridiculous thing?" Tia demanded to know. "Are you trying to look stupid?"

Her dress! Oh, gods, her dress!

With everything else she had to worry about, she had forgotten all about the dress.

Tia had not seen her in months, not since before the rape. This was the first time she was seeing Nefer-Tina wearing her oversized clothing. Of course she'd want to know why she was dressed that way. So Nefer-Tina would give her the answer she had been giving to everyone else who had asked.

She suppressed her real shock and tried to adopt an air of nonchalance.

She gave a shrug. "I bought this and several others when a merchant was having a sale. The tailor he buys from misread the order and made all the clothing too big. It was a really good deal. How could I have passed it up?"

"Yes. How could you," Tia replied with a smirk. "That is, if that was the real reason."

"Which it is," Nefer-Tina told her, trying to put confidence into her voice. Everyone else had believed this story. Why shouldn't Tia?

Tia gave a harsh laugh. "You'd like me to believe that, wouldn't you?" She took several steps back into the room. "But I know you too well, little whore. You're hiding something under there. I can feel it."
Oh, gods!

"W-why would I-I be hiding anything?" Nefer-Tina tried, the fear starting to come back full force. If Tia got too close to her...

"I can't believe you of all people have the audacity to ask such a question," Tia said as she began walking at a slow and measured pace. "You who have been trying, and failing, to hide your love of my future husband for months. You have no skills for deception. You might as well tell me, little whore, because I am going to find out what it is. With or without your cooperation."

Nefer-Tina felt the fear finally overpower the last of her resolve.

Oh, gods! Oh, gods!

She began to move around the bed. "Please. I'm not hiding anything. I-I swear I'm not. Please, Tia."

Tia snorted. "You really are stupid. Don't you know that the more you protest, the more guilty you make yourself look?

"Why don't you make this easy on yourself and just tell me what you've got under there?" Tia continued, coming ever closer. "I know it's not some sort of priceless treasure that you've stolen and are going to try to sell. That kind of crime takes guts, of which we both know you don't have any."

Nefer-Tina said nothing, feeling tears forming in her eyes as she continued backing away. There was no way out of this. Tia was going to discover her secret...her shame.

Her life was over.

"Yet you're obviously running away," Tia went on, still coming, getting closer and closer by the second. "Those travel packs laying blatantly on the floor say it all."

Oh, gods!

She had noticed the packs!

The first of the tears began to roll down her cheeks.

"Please..." she whispered as her back bumped into the rear wall. "Please..."

Why was this happening? Why did this always happen? It was so unfair...

"You know, I never did tell you what that rumor was about," Tia suddenly changed the subject, still approaching. "Would you like to know?"

Nefer-Tina said nothing, only crying as Tia continued to close the distance between them.

"It's actually quite scandalous," Tia said with that same smile she always had. "The rumor says that one of the pharaoh's personal musicians has committed the most heinous of crimes. Apparently she gave her virginity up to a married man."

"No..." Nefer-Tina softly cried. "Gods, no..."

Tia finally reached her and Nefer-Tina began to openly sob.

"And now she's carrying his child."

Without another word, Tia reached out with both hands and pressed them against Nefer-Tina's abdomen.

Nefer-Tina gasped between sobs. "No!"

"Well, well, well," Tia commented, drawing her hands back. "It looks like you helped me after all."

"No," Nefer-Tina cried. "Oh, gods! Oh, gods!"

"The little whore shows her true colors at last," Tia smirked. "Tell me. Did you finally tire of waiting for Ja-Kal?"

"No! You don't understand! I-"

"Save your excuses," Tia cut her off. "I'm not interested in hearing any of them.

"But I know someone who is."

"No! Please!"

Tia took a few steps back. "I hope Amenhotep makes you suffer."

"No! Gods, no! Please!"

"Pathetic," Tia snorted, turning around and starting for the door.

"Please!" she sobbed, collapsing to the ground. "Please..."

Tia ignored her and continued walking.

"No... Please..."

"Guards!" she heard Tia's voice call. "I've found her!"

Nefer-Tina could only continue to sob.

((((())))))

"No! It's not true!" Nefer-Tina protested, her throat raw from what felt like hours of defending herself. "I was raped!"

It had only been two days since Tia had discovered her secret and called the guards on her. Two days since she had been bodily dragged to stand, sobbing, before the pharaoh in the middle of his crowded thrown room. Two days since she had been openly accused of committing adultery with a married man who had fathered her child. Two days since she had been called a liar when she had told them she was innocent, that she had been raped.

Amenhotep had immediately denounced her story, saying it was a cover. He had informed her that if she had truly been raped, she would have reported it. (He had cut her off as she had tearfully tried to explain her actions.) She was obviously protecting her lover. He had then demanded that she give him the name of her child's father, which was impossible.

Nefer-Tina's inability to provide a name had been seen as an act of open defiance. Amenhotep had become furious, thinking Nefer-Tina was purposely withholding the name. It appeared to the pharaoh and the entire court that she was being arrogant and disrespectful despite the fact that she had only continued to sob. So he had ordered her thrown into a jail cell where she would stay until the day of her trial. She had then been bodily dragged once again, this time out of the throne room and down to the palace jail.

So for two days she had sat in her small cell, visited by no one except for the servants who brought her her food and Scarab, the royal vizier. Scarab's visits, however, had not been social. (Scarab was a nasty man and it had made her uncomfortable to even be in the same room with him.) Amenhotep had sent him to urge her to reconsider her story. She was told that if she did not reveal her lover's name that she would receive twice the normal punishment for the crime of adultery. The punishment was usually split equally between the two participants. Without her lover, she would have to take on his punishment as well as her own. (How she now wished there had been a lover.) But Scarab had left every time without a name because there was no name to give.

So she was now standing before the pharaoh once again. And, once again, she was being called a liar despite the fact that everything she was saying was the truth. She was both terrified and humiliated. Terrified because of what would happen to her once Amenhotep got tired of ignoring her cries. And humiliated because she was being made to seem as if she were nothing but a despicable adulteress. She had never felt so alone.

"We grow tired of your lies," Scarab informed her as he slowly paced around the open center of the throne room. "As I'm sure you are growing tired of telling them. I know you want this trial to end, Nefer-Tina. But you are the only one who has the power to end it. Tell us your lover's name and it will all be over. Tell us. End this."

"I can't tell you what I don't know!" she insisted. "I was raped!"

"Why do you continue with these lies?" Scarab pressed. "We know you're guilty. All you have to do is admit it and tell us your lover's name. Then and only then will your trial be over. It's such a simple act. Why not do it? Tell us and end this. That's all you have to do. Just tell us."

"I was raped!" she repeated. "Why won't you believe me?"

"We will as soon as you tell us his name," Scarab told her. "Just give us your lover's name and this will end. Don't make this any harder than it has to be. We know you're guilty. Why continue to play these pointless games?"

"It's not a game!" she cried, fresh tears rolling down her cheeks. She was so tired and so scared. She wanted this to be over so badly but yet she did not want it to end until someone, anyone believed her. Someone had to! "I was raped! I swear on the names of all the gods!"

"Have you no shame?" Scarab questioned. "You dare to bring the gods into your lies? The audacity! May they have mercy on you."

"But I'm not lying!" she pressed. "Please! I swear! I'm telling the truth! Please! Believe me! Please!"

For a moment, she considered turning to the crowd of spectators and pleading with them. But just the thought of seeing Tia among them made her decide against it.

She knew Tia was out there. And she knew she was enjoying every moment of this torture.

At least Ja-Kal's not here, she told herself. To think of him seeing her as an adulteress made her ill. She loved him so much. To have him only know her to hate her... Better that he remained unaware of her existence.

"I've heard enough of this nonsense," Scarab decided. He turned his attention back to the pharaoh. "I see no reason to continue questioning her. I think she's made it perfectly clear that she won't confess her crime.

"I suggest you just sentence her and be done with it."

"No!" Nefer-Tina burst out, stark terror at the prospect of sentencing coursing through her. "Please! I'm telling the truth! Please! Please! Believe me! I was raped! I swear it! Please!"

"You can stop your lying now," Scarab informed her. "It's pointless to continue. You've lost."

"No!" Nefer-Tina cried frantically. "No! Please! Gods, no! Please! I was raped! I was-"

"Silence!" Amenhotep cut her off.

"Please!" she sobbed. "Gods, please!"

"You will be silent!" the pharaoh ordered and Nefer-Tina broke down completely.

She could not control herself. She sobbed uncontrollably, knowing that her life, and the life of her unborn child, was truly over. She sank to her knees, unable to stand any longer. She was terrified, afraid of what the next few moments would bring her.

She was probably going to die.

"Nefer-Tina," the pharaoh spoke and she raised her tear-blurred eyes to see that he had gotten to his feet.

"You stand before me accused of the crime of adultery. You are unquestionably guilty, as your condition makes perfectly clear. Yet you refuse to admit what you have done or speak the name of your lover. You only tell lie after lie. For that alone you can be put to death."

Nefer-Tina dropped her gaze, feeling cold inside. This is it, she told herself. I'm going to die.

"However, I find myself instead admiring the strength you are displaying," the pharaoh said, surprising her enough to bring her eyes back to him. "You have unfailing clung to your story despite the fact that everyone knows that it is a lie. Most would have given in by now. You have courage, a rare trait among most, especially the condemned. And for that, I will ignore your blatant lies."

He stepped away from his throne and came towards her.

She immediately looked down again.

"However," Amenhotep continued, "you must suffer for your other transgressions. They are too great to ignore. I cannot in good conscience let you go unpunished. But you do not have to bear the weight of your crimes alone.

"Tell me the name of your lover. Speak it so that he may share your burden of punishment. He deserves to suffer as you do. Tell me his name. His name, Nefer-Tina. That is all you have to say. Say it."

Nefer-Tina said nothing. She had nothing to say. He was asking her for something she could not give. And because she could not give it to him, she was about to pay the price.

Please don't kill me, she silently begged. I don't want to die.

"Very well," Amenhotep said. "You have left me with no choice."

She heard him walk away and she assumed he returned to his throne.

"I will now commence the sentencing," the pharaoh announced. "The prisoner will now stand."

No! No! No! she wailed. She was too afraid and too weak to get back on her feet. She didn't want to hear this. She was so scared.

It was only moments before she felt the now familiar rough touch of the guards as they hauled her to her feet and dragged her to stand before the throne.

"You will look at me, Nefer-Tina," the pharaoh insisted and she obeyed.

"Nefer-Tina, I, Amenhotep I, ruler of all Egypt, find you guilty of the crime of adultery. You are also guilty of breaking the curfew set for my personal servants as well as breaking the rule of virginity. No female personal servant of mine may be anything but a virgin unless married. You are neither a virgin nor married and are with the child of a married man."

Nefer-Tina felt like she was going to lose control again. She was so afraid. What was going to happen to her?

"For your crimes, you are hereby banished from my palace and the city of Memphis," the pharaoh announced.

"If you are ever caught here after today, you will be immediately put to death."

Nefer-Tina was too shocked to immediately react. Banished. She was only banished, not being put to death.

It was both a relief and the realization that an even worse nightmare was about to begin.

She would have to go home to face Mama and Papa.

Mama and Papa who would now hate her.

"I declare this trial to be over," the pharaoh called out. "Guards, remove the prisoner and see to it that she is gone before the sun sets.

"If she is still here after that time, she will be executed."

Nefer-Tina did not even fight as the guards moved to take her by the arms again and remove her from the throne room.

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina waited until the guards had shut the door before sinking onto her bed and starting to sob once more.

She only had hours to gather all of her belongings and leave Memphis altogether. As the pharaoh had said, to be here after sunset would mean her death. But at this moment, she was still too shaken to move.

What was going to happen to her now? She knew of only one place to go and it was now the last that she wanted to be.

Mama and Papa would have received her letter by now. The letter which told them that she was resigning her position as a palace musician and leaving Memphis without giving a reason why. Once they heard about her arrest and the rumor that led to it, they would believe they knew her reason. And when she showed up and told them of her banishment...

They would never believe she had been raped. Not after the letter and what had happened to her. They would only see her as the disgusting adulteress that everyone else did. It would not matter that she was their only child. They would probably throw her out.

Where would she go after that happened? What would she do? She was so alone and so afraid. In fact, she was more afraid for her baby than herself.

Before she had been banished, she had a chance of starting over somewhere new. But now her name would be known throughout all Egypt. Everyone would hate her and think of her as a lowly criminal. Her child's life would be made miserable because of what had happened to her. Because of her, her precious child would suffer.

It wasn't fair.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone opening her door.

At first, the terrifying thought that it could be Tia struck her but instead she found herself staring in shock at Selkis.

Nefer-Tina did not know how to react. Selkis was the last person she had ever expected to see again. She had not spoken to her since the day before her arrest.

Selkis had been so kind to her ever since she had arrived here. The only person, in fact, to show her any compassion at all. So what did Selkis feel towards her now that she was a criminal in the eyes of the law?

Betrayal was the only thing Nefer-Tina could think of. Selkis probably believed she had used her in some way to cover up for her crimes. She most likely thought Nefer-Tina had played the part of the innocent only as a way of hiding her true nature, a vile adulteress. Selkis must hate her now. As Mama and Papa hated her now...

Silently, she watched as Selkis gently closed the door behind her. Without a word, she made her away across the room and sat down on the edge of Nefer-Tina's bed next to her.

Nefer-Tina braced herself, uncertain of what Selkis was going to do or say.

Selkis then did the unexpected: she opened up her arms.

For a moment, Nefer-Tina hesitated, unsure of what Selkis intended. Was this a trick of some kind?

But when Nefer-Tina didn't come to her, Selkis moved close to her and wrapped her in her arms.

Nefer-Tina tensed up, still not knowing what Selkis wanted.

"It's all right," Selkis quietly spoke, obviously sensing Nefer-Tina's fear. "I'm not here to hurt you. I believe you."

With those words, Nefer-Tina's fear instantly vanished and she broke down once again.

"Oh, my poor, poor Nefer-Tina," Selkis soothed, holding her as tightly as Mama used to. Mama who hated her now... "What you must be going through. Poor child."

When her tears finally began to subside, Selkis softly told her, "It's going to be all right. Don't worry. I'm going to help you."

"W-why do y-you believe m-me?" Nefer-Tina sniffled as she struggled to stop crying. "N-no one else d-does."

"Because I know you," Selkis informed her. "Genubath told me about you when he brought you here and then I observed you with my own eyes. You have such a sweet and gentle nature. No one like that can commit something like adultery.

"I knew something had happened to you when you told me that you were sick that morning all those months ago," Selkis continued. "You looked more...afraid than sick. I just had no idea that it was rape. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I was so afraid," Nefer-Tina whispered. "I knew what people thought of women who gave up their virginity before marriage. And I knew I'd be punished for breaking curfew. I knew you'd hate me."

"Is that why you kept your pregnancy a secret too?" Selkis gently questioned.

Nefer-Tina nodded.

"Oh, child," Selkis said, "I could never hate you." She began to stroke her back. "Never. You're such a good girl, a sweet girl. You're more like a daughter to me than anything else."

Startled, Nefer-Tina pulled away from her arms and looked at her in surprise. "A-a daughter? Really?"

Selkis smiled. "Is that so hard to believe?" She reached out and wiped a tear away. "You're so different from any other musician I've ever known. You're so sweet and gentle. You don't see your abilities as a tool, but as a gift. The way you play... You're a remarkable girl. If I had a daughter of my own, I'd want her to be exactly like you."

"T-thank you," Nefer-Tina breathed, deeply touched.

"Now, tell me how I can help you," Selkis said, taking Nefer-Tina's hands in her own. "Anything you want, anything you need. Tell me what it is and it's yours."

"I don't think you can give me what I want," Nefer-Tina sighed.

"Try me," Selkis asserted. "I may be a woman, but I do have some power here."

Nefer-Tina smiled weakly at that. "It's not anything anyone can do. I want my parents not to hate me."

"Nefer-Tina," Selkis sighed, shaking her head, "how could you think that? They're your parents. They will love you no matter what. Didn't they send you here because of their love for you?"

"Yes, but that was before I became a disgrace," Nefer-Tina pointed out. "I've failed them. They sent me here because they believed it was better for me here. And look how I've repaid them."

"Nothing that happened was your fault," Selkis told her. "You were a victim. You were raped and became pregnant because of that. They won't hate you for something you had no choice in. In fact, I don't believe they could ever hate you at all. Not if they know you as I do."

"You don't understand," Nefer-Tina pressed. "I sent them a letter. A letter telling them that I didn't want to be a palace musician anymore and that I was leaving. When they find out about my banishment-"

"I think you underestimate your parents' love for you," Selkis interrupted. "They know you. They will understand why you sent it and what you were planning. Though I think you might have had a little difficulty getting by me."

Nefer-Tina gave another tiny smile at that.

"Now," Selkis continued, putting an arm around Nefer-Tina, "I think it's time we start planning how you're going to get home..."

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina grew increasingly nervous as the wagon she was riding in drew nearer and nearer to her childhood home. Because she knew that the moment she arrived was the moment Mama and Papa would confront her. And it was a confrontation she longed to avoid.

Selkis was wrong. Mama and Papa couldn't love her anymore. Not now. She was a disgrace, a shamed member of society. She had failed them. Her banishment had sealed her fate. She had no doubt they'd throw her out as soon as they saw her. If only she didn't have to face them at all...

"T-turn around," she ordered the driver, making a sudden decision. "I want to go someplace else."

The driver, a man named Jarha, looked at her in surprise.

"Right now? But we're almost-"

"Please," she urged. "I... I...can't go back there."

Jarha gently pulled back on the reins and the wagon came to a stop. He then turned his full attention to his passenger.

"Why not?" he bluntly asked.

Jarha was not just any ordinary driver. He was one of Selkis's personal servants and he had been charged with safely bringing her wherever she wanted. Nefer-Tina had been in the room as Selkis summoned him and gave him his instructions. They were to be followed exactly. And Nefer-Tina had no doubt they would be. Selkis was not a woman to be crossed.

"Because," she started. "I... I can't. I just can't."

"Why?" he pressed.

Nefer-Tina looked away from his gaze. "Because they hate me."

"Who? Your parents?"

She nodded.

"Do you know for a fact that they hate you?"

"How can they not?" she pointed out, still not looking at him. "I failed them. They sent me to Memphis to make a life for myself and look what happened. I'm a disgrace. They have to hate me. I've shamed my entire family."

"No you haven't," Jarha said. "You were accused and punished for a crime you didn't commit. You parents will know this."

Nefer-Tina was startled.

"Y-you believe me?" she questioned, finally meeting his gaze again.

Jarha had never once mentioned her trial and banishment during their ride for the past two days. She had assumed that either he was just being polite or that Selkis had ordered him to remain silent about it. It didn't matter. She had appreciated the fact that nothing had been said. The two of them had been having normal conversations, which her life had been sorely lacking ever since she joined the palace musicians. It had been nice.

"Anyone who knows you personally would believe you," he told her. "You don't have what it takes to be an adulteress."

She was stunned by what he said. And touched.

"T-thank you," she managed.

"You're a sweet girl," Jarha continued. "Girls who commit adultery are anything but sweet. They're vicious hunters and don't care about anyone but themselves."

The mention of the word "hunters" brought a pang to her heart. It reminded her of the man she loved but would never see again...

"And no one knows you better than your parents," he went on. "They'll know you're innocent. You'll see."

"I hope you're right," she sighed, knowing deep down that he wasn't. They hated her. They had to. She would hate herself and, in a way, did. Why did these things always happen to her?

"I am," he assured her. "Now, may I tell the horses to start moving again?"

"All right," she said, accepting that there was no avoiding her parents no matter how much she wanted it.

As the wagon resumed its forward motion, Nefer-Tina began to mentally prepare herself for the hatred and disgust that her parents were going to greet her with.

((((())))))

Karem sat with her share of the day's mending, but her mind was on anything but the chore. She was too guilt-ridden. Her daughter was suffering and it was all her fault.

Nefer-Tina had not been ready to leave home and now her life had been ruined because of her parents' meddling. She and Rekhmire had been too concerned about her future to see her present. Of all people, they should have realized that the trauma of entering a new situation all by herself would have been too much for their still-young daughter. Now it was too late and Nefer-Tina was in unimaginable pain.

The moment she had received Nefer-Tina's letter she should have known that something was wrong. Nefer-Tina's message had been vague and unsettling. Why would she suddenly decide to quit being a palace musician after only nine months? It had made no sense, but Karem had made the mistake of putting it aside. She hadn't even shared it with Rekhmire, not wanting to burden her already overwhelmed husband with her "minor" concerns. Her reasons had seemed valid at the time, but now she knew it had been a horrible error. The official notice that had been delivered the next day had proved that all too well.

She had made the critical mistake of putting their struggling farm ahead of her only child. It was a decision that would haunt her for the rest of her life, she knew. So what if it had been a poor harvest? So what if they could lose their land if they didn't make quota? Nefer-Tina should have come first. Where they lived didn't matter. How they lived was more important.

A thousand scenarios of what could have happened constantly ran through her mind. Nefer-Tina was no adulteress. At least, not a willing one. Her daughter was an innocent, too sweet and trusting for her own good. She had probably reached out in her loneliness and latched onto a man who had used her innocence to his own advantage. Nefer-Tina had most likely believed that he loved her. And because of that belief, she had gotten caught and would very soon be punished for it, if it hadn't happened already.

Karem wanted so badly to go to Memphis to be with her during this horrible time, but she had no means of getting there. Rekhmire could not spare a man to bring her. He needed every one of his workers to be out in the fields in a desperate attempt to meet quota. She hadn't even dared to ask him, knowing that it would only lead to a furious outburst.

Rekhmire had been almost impossible to live with these past several weeks. The poor crop had put him under incredible stress and he was not handling it well. Every little thing set him off. She had to constantly remind herself that he was normally a good and loving man. Every night she prayed to the gods that they make quota and that they have a bountiful harvest next season. She wanted her husband back.

She had actually been afraid of him the day they got the official notice of Nefer-Tina's arrest. She had never seen him so angry. He had said things, horrible things that he could not possibly mean about Nefer-Tina. She knew it was only the stress talking and tried not to take it to heart, but it was difficult when they were being said about his own child.

She sighed and tried to concentrate on the mending. All she wanted was for the harvest season to be over so Rekhmire would go back to the way he normally was. She didn't think she could live with him like this much longer. And she feared more than anything what would happen when Nefer-Tina inevitably came back home. She doubted time away from home had changed her daughter's overly sensitive nature...

"Karem!"

She looked up from the pile in her lap to see Anhay race into the room.

"Karem! You have to come right now!"

The look on the woman's face sent fear coursing through Karem's body.

"What is it, Anhay?" she asked setting the mending aside and rising to her feet. "What's going on?"

The only thing that came to mind was that something had happened to Rekhmire. Or that he had done something to someone else in a fit of rage.

"Just come," Anhay urged, taking her by the arm. "Please."

"What is it? Tell me!" Karem begged, extremely nervous. "Is someone hurt?"

"N-no," Anhay told her, gently pulling her along. "It's... Well, you better come see for yourself."

"Tell me! Please!" she demanded, refusing to take another step until she knew what was going on.

Anhay swallowed. "It's Nefer-Tina."

Oh, gods!

She was home! Her poor baby was home! But why was Anhay so upset? She had begged Rekhmire to keep Nefer-Tina's arrest a secret from the rest of the farm. Her argument had been that it would take their concentration away from the harvest. Rekhmire had agreed and nothing had been said. So what had Anhay so worked up? Was something...?

"What about Nefer-Tina, Anhay?" Karem pressed. "Is she all right? Has she been hurt? Is she-?"

"Just come," Anhay repeated, tugging on her arm. "You need to see this for yourself."

Karem was suddenly very afraid for her child. Why wouldn't Anhay tell her what was wrong? Why the secrecy?

She allowed Anhay to lead her through the house and to the front door.

"Try not to overreact when you see her," Anhay instructed.

Overreact? Her fear tripled. Something was obviously terribly wrong.

Then Anhay opened the door and stepped aside.

Karem quickly followed her and was surprised to find a large crowd gathered in front of the house. It appeared as if a large number of the field workers had seen the wagon coming and had stopped what they were doing to find out who the visitors were. (Visitors were a rare occurrence at the farm.) She did not see Nefer-Tina at first and began to frantically search for her.

She found her almost immediately. She was hugging Pakhet.

"Nefer-Tina," Karem called out to her daughter, both worried and thrilled. It had been so long since she had seen her. She longed to hold her in her arms and tell her how much she loved her.

Nefer-Tina's gaze turned up, a strange look on her face. "Mama?"

Karem was baffled by Nefer-Tina's expression. She seemed almost...afraid. Why would she be afraid?

Karem opened her arms invitingly to show Nefer-Tina that there was nothing to be afraid of. She was home now and that was all that mattered. She would get all the love and attention she needed.

"Welcome home, Nefer-Tina," Karem smiled.

Nefer-Tina, that expression still on her face, moved slowly away from Pakhet and Karem finally knew why Anhay had been so shaken.

Nefer-Tina was pregnant.

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina was very confused. At first, Mama had been smiling and holding out her arms as if what had happened didn't matter. Then her smile had disappeared and her arms had been taken away. So did Mama hate her or not?

"Oh, gods," Mama breathed, her hands flying up to cover her mouth.

"Mama?" Nefer-Tina asked, taking a tentative step forward. If Mama didn't hate her...

"Oh, my baby," Mama said as her hands fell away. The smile came back. "My poor-"

"What's going on here?" a loud voice cut Mama off.

A loud, familiar voice.

Papa!

Nefer-Tina turned to see Papa angrily walking up to the house.

"Why aren't any of you working?" Papa demanded to know, sounding madder than she had ever heard him. "Get back to work!"

Nefer-Tina did not know what to do. If Papa was already angry and then he saw her...

"I said get back to work!" Papa shouted as he pushed his way through the crowd. "Are you all deaf? We have quotas to make!"

Nefer-Tina turned to Mama, who had suddenly gone pale.

"Mama?"

"Nefer-Tina, I-"

"You!" Papa cried out and Nefer-Tina knew she had been seen.

She immediately began to panic. There was no doubt in her mind that Papa hated her and didn't love her anymore. What was she going to do?

Papa walked right up to her and Nefer-Tina felt herself begin to tremble. The expression on Papa's face... It frightened her.

"Everyone get back to work now. That's an order," Papa commanded, his gaze never leaving her face. "Anyone still here in ten seconds will be out of a job."

Nefer-Tina swallowed. She had never seen Papa like this before. He was not the man she remembered. She feared whatever was going to come next.

"You too, Karem," Papa added and Nefer-Tina looked to see that Mama was the only person still there. Everyone else had fled and gotten back to work. Mama alone had stayed.

"But-"

"In the house," Papa cut her off. "Now."

Mama started to move towards Nefer-Tina.

"Now," Papa repeated and Mama turned away.

"Mama," Nefer-Tina murmured.

"You have no right to call her that anymore," Papa began, startling her with the sudden calmness in his voice. "Not after what you've done to this family."

Nefer-Tina was too afraid to say anything in response. But what could she say? Wasn't Papa right in a way?

"We were only told that you had been arrested for adultery," Papa continued. "Now that you're here I can see that it's much worse. I hope you don't expect your mother or myself to care for your bastard child for you. You're the one who made the mistake. You're the one who's going to have to live with the consequences."

Now Nefer-Tina understood why Mama had been so surprised. They hadn't known she was pregnant. Mama had seemed to still love her before finding out. Now after hearing what Papa said she knew that she was unloved by either Mama or Papa. And he had all but outright said that he was throwing her out.

But the way Papa was talking to her... She had been prepared for yelling and screaming. Instead he was being so cold. She decided that this was much, much worse.

"I hope you realize how ashamed of you we are," Papa went on. "We gave you an opportunity to make something of yourself and instead you threw it all away for some man. Was it worth it? Your mother and I worked so hard to make sure you could have the best life possible and look how you repaid us. You disgust me."

"Papa," she whispered.

"Don't 'Papa' me," he shot back at her. "You don't have that right anymore. Only my daughter is allowed to call me that. But you're not my daughter. My daughter would never have done something as selfish and immoral as you did. You're a stranger to me. I don't even know you."

You're not my daughter.

The words stabbed deep into her heart.

You're not my daughter.

Unimaginable pain filled her body as she realized what had just happened.

You're not my daughter.

Tears began to fall as the last remaining part of her childhood was cruelly ripped away from her.

You're not my daughter.

She had just been disowned. Her father had proclaimed that he was no longer her father.

She was now truly alone.

Papa was still talking, but she didn't hear any of it. She couldn't listen to his voice anymore. Not after what he had said...

"Get out of my sight," Papa's voice loudly cut through her misery.

She didn't hesitate.

Her vision blinded by tears, she began to run as fast as her swollen body would allow. She didn't know where she was going, just that she had to get away from the man who used to be her father...

((((())))))

Mehy looked up from his conversation with Jarha at the sound of the bedroom door opening.

An exhausted Pakhet emerged and she quietly closed the door behind herself.

"She's finally asleep," she wearily announced. "The poor thing couldn't stop crying. I've never seen her so upset."

"She's never had a reason to be before," Mehy pointed out. "Gods damn Rekhmire's newfound temper."

Mehy had gotten a very bad feeling when Rekhmire had angrily ordered everyone to get back to work. So he had remained where he was, knowing that Nefer-Tina was going to need him after her father got through with her. And he had been right. After Nefer-Tina had starting running away from Rekhmire, Mehy had chased after her and easily caught her. She had not been able to speak because she had been crying so hard.

Jarha, the man who had driven her home from Memphis, had also followed her when she started running. Mehy had asked him to wait with her while he went to get Pakhet. Pakhet had always been like a second mother to her and a mother was obviously what she had needed at the moment. He had doubted that Karem would be available to comfort the sobbing girl.

He had found Pakhet with Karem, who was almost as upset as her daughter. They had both overheard Rekhmire's words and no one knew Nefer-Tina's sensitivity better than Karem. She feared the worst, especially under the circumstances.

Karem had then told the couple why Nefer-Tina had come home. Much to their shock, Nefer-Tina had been banished on charges of adultery, an impossible crime for someone like Nefer-Tina. It was obviously a horrible misunderstanding that had spiraled out of control. But whatever had really happened would have to wait until later. Nefer-Tina's present situation had been more important.

Mehy had then told the two women that he had caught Nefer-Tina as she ran away from her father and that she was crying uncontrollably. Karem had immediately told Pakhet to go with him to help calm Nefer-Tina down and that she would come as soon as possible. She, unfortunately, was stuck there until after dinner because Rekhmire would expect her to eat with him as always. Pakhet and Mehy had then rushed back to Jarha and the still sobbing Nefer-Tina and brought them back to their house.

"I still can't believe he said that," Pakhet commented as she joined them at the table. "He knows how fragile she is. This harvest has knocked all common sense out of him."

"I find it impossible to believe that that man I saw is a caring person," Jarha stated. "No one can change so thoroughly overnight."

"Believe it," Mehy said. "This bad harvest has done just that. Until this year, he led a life blessed by the gods. He's never had to deal with a poor crop before and he's not handling it well. It's just unfortunate that he's taking out his frustration on everyone around him."

"If you had met him anytime before this current season, you'd think him to be one of the kindest people in all of Egypt," Pakhet put in. "If he wasn't, do you think we would have stayed on his farm for so long?"

"Every one of us who works for him is clinging to the hope that things will return to normal once the season ends," Mehy told him.

"But that doesn't do Nefer-Tina any good now, does it?" Jarha pointed out.

"You're right," Mehy sighed. "She can't stay here with Rekhmire acting this way. Especially not in her condition. She needs to be in a calm and caring environment."

"I have a cousin in Thebes who would be more than happy to take in a girl in need," Jarha offered. "She's a midwife and her husband is a physician. The two of them have six grown children and have been known to take in a stray or two over the years. They would take good care of her, and when the time comes, her baby."

"What a wonderful idea," Pakhet smiled. "Thank you."

"It's the least I could do," he said. "As I've told your husband, I feel very responsible for what happened between Nefer-Tina and her father. She didn't want to come back here and I insisted that she should."

"And as I told you," Mehy spoke up, "you had no way of-"

He was cut off by a knock at the door.

"Karem," Pakhet decided, rising from the table. "I'll let her in."

Mehy nodded at her and watched her until she disappeared from view.

"Karem has always been able to talk Nefer-Tina out of her misconceptions," he told Jarha. "But I don't know how easy it'll be this time. She's been through so much."

"Selkis was always remarking about how sensitive Nefer-Tina was, but I don't think even she realized how much," Jarha said, referring to the head matron of the palace musicians. Jarha was one of her personal servants and had shared with Mehy how fond of Nefer-Tina she was. "After what I've seen and what you've told me, it's a wonder she was able to live away from home at all."

"She's a lot stronger than she seems," Mehy assured him. "I've experienced it first hand. She'll get through this all right. She just needs to be convinced that her parents still love her."

"Jarha," Pakhet announced as she reentered the room with a very pale Karem, "this is Karem, Nefer-Tina's mother. Karem, this is Jarha. He is a personal servant of Selkis, head matron of the palace musicians. He's the one who brought Nefer-Tina home."

Jarha rose to his feet and extended a hand. "A pleasure to meet the mother of such a sweet girl. I'm so sorry that it has to be under such circumstances."

Karem accepted his hand. "Yes, I agree. Thank you for bringing my baby back home to me. And allow me to apologize for my husband's appalling behavior. As I'm sure Mehy and Pakhet have explained to you, he's not always like that."

"Yes," Jarha replied as they all sat back down at the table, "they have. Though I'm finding it hard to believe."

"Jarha," Mehy said, "why don't you tell Karem about your cousin? Karem, Jarha has an idea that I think you'll really like."

"Please," Karem urged, "tell me all about it."

"Well, I have a cousin..."

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina awoke to find herself in almost complete darkness.

I wonder what time it is, she thought as she slowly worked herself into a sitting position, a task that only grew more difficult with each passing month.

She didn't remember much of yesterday after...what had happened. She remembered just wanting to get away from Papa. She had started to run and then Mehy had grabbed her. Wonderful Mehy, who was her best friend in the entire world. Mehy had held her as she cried. And Jarha had been there too. And so had Pakhet...

Pakhet had sat with her until she had fallen asleep. They had brought her back to Mehy and Pakhet's house and taken her into the bedroom they had given to her when she was five. (Mehy and Pakhet had by then realized that they would never have a child of their own so they had given her the room they had hoped would belong to one. Nefer-Tina hadn't realized the significance of the act until almost ten years after the fact.) In the bed where she had spent many afternoons and nights, she had once again cried herself to sleep, something that had become more and more common these days.

Why did things keep going so wrong for her? She had been prepared to be hated and to be thrown out, but disowned? Such a thing had never crossed her mind. Then again, neither had rape...

Tears filled her eyes at the memory of Papa's words. She had never dreamed that her parents would be so disgusted with what they believed to have been her actions that they would no longer want her in the family. She had known they would never forgive her, but disown her? Just thinking about it made her sick.

So what was she going to do now? The only certainty was that she had to leave. She couldn't stay on the farm. Papa had made it clear that he and Mama never wanted to see her again. They hated her so much...

Papa... Mama...

Thinking about them only made her want to cry again...

She wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to get a hold on herself. This was not the time for crying. Leaving here was more important. She had to get away as soon as possible. Right now...

She had to leave now, she realized, before there was anyone up to try and stop her. She knew Mehy and Pakhet would want her to stay with them as she knew Raia would too if he saw her. But none of them had heard what Papa had said. They didn't know how much he and Mama hated her...that they had disowned her. It was better to sneak out without saying goodbye.

She maneuvered her oversized body out of the bed and got to her feet as quietly as possible. She waited until her eyes had adjusted to the semi-darkness before trying to locate the door. But just as she was going to start towards the door, something hit her: she didn't have any of her travel packs.

Everything she needed to create a new life for herself and her baby where in those packs. Without them she had nothing. No money, no clothes, no maps. Nothing.

What was she going to do now?

I'll worry about it later, she decided. All that mattered to her at the moment was leaving. She could always earn some money by singing somewhere...

Taking a deep breath, she stealthily raced through the bedroom and went out the door.

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina felt a wave of guilt as she hitched the horse to the wagon. She had never stolen anything before in her life and it made her feel terrible, especially since it was from the only people left in the world that cared about her. Mehy and Pakhet would have to understand. She had no other choice.

She finished with the horse and made her way over to the wagon. She had no idea where she would go. Without a map, she couldn't have a specific destination in mind. So she'd just drive until she came upon a village. She doubted the word of her banishment had spread throughout all of Egypt yet. After all, she was just a minor palace musician, no one of importance. She should be all right.

At least, I hope I'll be.

With that thought, she began to climb into the wagon.

"Need some help?"

The unexpected voice startled her and she froze. She had been caught!

"Because you definitely look like you could use some."

That voice...

"Don't you know by now that girls can't be caught driving?"

"Raia," she breathed as she turned around to find her other best friend from her lost childhood. What was he doing up at this hour?

"Hey there, kiddo," Raia smiled. "Trying to leave again without stopping by to say hello or goodbye to me? I'm insulted."

"Raia..." she repeated, feeling her composure and determination slipping away.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms.

She ran into them, the tears she had tried so hard to hold back falling freely.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you yesterday," he apologized. "I was working the far outskirts of the fields and didn't find out you were back until it was too late. I went by Mehy's, but I was told you were sleeping and couldn't be disturbed.

"I heard what happened with your father. Stupid man. He's been such a grouch lately. He really needs to have someone knock some sense into him."

Because of me, she suddenly realized. Papa must have gotten so upset over her supposed crimes that he was taking it out on everyone! It was all her fault! Everything was her fault...

"Mehy told me about why you're home," Raia continued as she softly sobbed. "You poor kid. Why didn't you tell anyone what happened?"

"Because I was so afraid," she managed. "I had broken curfew and I thought I'd get in trouble. I didn't want to get in trouble. So I kept it a secret."

"That's my Nefer-Tina," Raia sighed. "Always assuming the worst. So what's the story now? Why are you sneaking out before dawn?"

"Mama and Papa hate me," she informed him, "so I'm going to leave. Why should I stay where I'm not wanted?"

"They don't hate you," Raia corrected her. "They could never hate you. Don't you know that by now?"

Yes they do, she silently amended. Raia himself had told her that he hadn't been there yesterday when she first got home. He hadn't seen how angry Papa was, how shocked Mama had looked. They did hate her and they had disowned her.

"I just want to go someplace else," she told him instead of answering. She broke out of his embrace. "I just can't be here anymore. I... Please don't tell anyone you saw me. Please."

Raia folded his arms. "And just where do you think you're going to go?"

She shrugged.

"So let me get this straight, You, a girl, are going to try to just drive anywhere and think no one's going to notice?"

"I'll cover myself up when someone else is around," she informed him. "I used to pull off being a guy pretty well when I raced."

"Uh-huh," Raia said, sounding unconvinced. "It's not going to work. Not anymore. You're a little old to pass for a boy. And not to mention the condition you're in will make it even more impossible. You won't get past one village without being caught. You'd be better off staying here."

"No," she disagreed. "I just want to leave. Please."

"Your parents will miss you," he tried, again proving how little he knew of what had happened.

"No," she repeated. "Please, just let me leave. Please."

"You can stay with me and Nebetawy," he offered. "We'd love to have you."

"No," she said again. "I want to leave. Please, Raia. Please."

He sighed. "I take it that there's nothing that will change your mind."

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just... Please understand. Please."

"Well, I definitely don't understand," Raia let her know, "but if you won't change your mind, there's only one thing left for me to do."

Nefer-Tina sucked in a breath, fearing that he would bodily bring her back to his own house.

"I'm just going to have to drive you myself," he announced. "You'll never pass yourself off as a man! You're too pretty!"

Nefer-Tina just smiled in relief and gratitude.

((((())))))

"Well, what do you know," Wsir mused to himself as he watched the wagon being stealthily led out of the stable, "looks like she was right after all."

Three days ago, a mysterious woman had come to him with a strange offer. (Mysterious because she had kept her face hidden behind a veil and refused to tell him her name. But after hearing her offer, he had had a good idea why.) For a large sum of money, all he would have to do would be follow the newly banished musician wherever she went for one week. It was a very simple job.

He had hesitated to accept at first because it was unheard of for a royal hunter to accept outside work (not forbidden, just unheard of). There was a certain expectation of exclusivity once a member of the Royal Hunt and he feared earning a bad reputation before he had even had a chance to prove himself. After all, he had only been chosen to join two months ago. What would it say about him if he took a side job so soon?

Besides, there really wasn't any mystery in where the girl would go. Everyone knew that little girls ran back to their mama and papa when upset. It was a known fact.

"She won't stay there," the woman had told him. "I know her too well. And I want to know where she goes from there. That's why I need you to follow her."

"The woman had then gone on to say "think about your family. Think of what you can do with the money you'll earn from this small task. Your wife will thank you for it."

Wsir had not been able to argue with that logic. Right now he and Duathor had practically nothing to their name. With a baby on the way, he needed all the money he could get. Being a member of the Royal Hunt did not pay well. So he had agreed to do the job.

The woman had seemed unsurprised by his decision. She had then proceeded to give him the details, which were to just follow the girl and report back her final location at the end of one week. She had provided him with a time and place for their meeting. He would be paid upon completion of the task.

So here he was, watching as the girl sneaked out of her house before dawn. (He was glad he had gone with his instincts to nap while it was still light. Otherwise he would have missed her stealthy exit.) The woman had known that the musician would do this. But why? Who was this girl? And who was the woman who was so interested in her?

He once again told himself that there was a lot more going on here than a simple case of adultery. Although the pharaoh had only accused and sentenced her for that crime, she had obviously done a lot more than that if the woman was so intent on keeping track of her whereabouts. But what?

"None of my business," he reminded himself as he began to pack up camp.

He had been hired simply to follow the girl for one week. That was all. It would be best for everyone if he just did his job and didn't ask any questions. He needed the money he was going to get for doing this. Why risk losing everything? He had to put his family first.

He began to pack up camp, but he was in no hurry to follow. Catching up with her would be easy. At such an early hour, there would be no other wagon tracks to confuse with hers.

She would not get far before he found her again.

((((())))))

"Raia, I'm scared," Nefer-Tina confessed as she was herded towards the entrance of the local temple of Bastet. "What if no one takes me? What if I'm seen? What if-"

"You're going to be just fine," he cut her off. "Try to relax. No one's looking for you here. Just in Memphis, remember?"

If only I could believe you.

They were in Saqqara, a city within walking distance of Memphis. It was more likely than not that many people from Memphis came here often. If any of them recognized her...

They had come to the great necropolis because there was no other place in all of Egypt with as many temples. And it was in one of those temples that Nefer-Tina was going to become a boarder.

Raia had told her that her best course of action would be to become a boarder at a temple. A temple was the safest place for her to be until she had her baby. In exchange for some menial labor, she would be taken care of by the priestesses. They would provide her with food and shelter and medical care as long as she needed it. It was a very common practice for people in her financial situation. (Raia had been one himself after he had first left home. "Anything to escape my parents!" he had told her.) And when she was ready to look for work, the priestesses would be more than happy to help her find something.

Raia had chosen Saqqara for its variety of temples. There were temples dedicated to every deity imaginable. So if one temple was unable to accept her, there were plenty of others to pick from.

"You will get into one," he had repeatedly assured her. "Temples never turn a person in need away if they can accommodate them. It's an unspoken rule. I think they have a monthly quota or something."

Raia had also claimed that it was highly unlikely that anyone would recognize her. People were looking for her to turn back up in Memphis. No one would think to check the temples of Saqqara.

"You're going to be perfectly safe," he had told her. "Then you and your baby can go live wherever you want."

Raia's first choice was the Temple of Bastet. The cat goddess was the patron of pregnant women, so it stood to reason that the priestesses would be trained in the art of midwifery. It would be the best place for her to be if they had room for her.

"Just let me do all the talking," Raia reminded her as they approached the doorway.

She nodded mutely, too nervous to speak.

Her original cover story remained the same but with some heavy modification from Raia. Her name was Karem and her husband had died before learning she was pregnant. But now instead of being a recent widow who had moved to a new city, she was a recent widow who had been robbed on her way to a new city. The robbery was to explain her lack of possessions.

Raia would be a traveler who had just happened to discover the widow in distress outside the city. He was just doing a good deed before resuming his journey home.

Raia guided her through the doorway where they were immediately greeted by a priestess.

Nefer-Tina took a deep breath as Raia began to speak...

((((())))))

Tia passionately kissed Ja-Kal goodbye before he left her to prepare for the hunting trip he was leaving on in the morning.

"Hurry back to me," she urged him aloud while silently praying for a week-long absence at the very least. She didn't want him coming back too soon and discovering that she had gone away herself. There would be too many questions she did not want to have to answer.

"I will, my love," he promised, his voice full of its customary sincerity. "I love you."

He gave her another kiss and then he was gone.

Tia waited until he disappeared down the street and then set immediately to work. She had a lot to do before she could leave in the morning for Saqqara.

Because that was where the whore, who was due to give birth any day now, was hiding.

It had taken all of her willpower not to laugh out loud when Wsir, the hunter she had hired to follow the slut (his wife should really learn not to complain about their financial situation so loudly), had told her the girl's location. Only Nefer-Tina would choose a hiding place within walking distance of Memphis. Impossible as it seemed, the whore continued to surprise Tia with her stupidity.

She longed to be finished with her once and for all.

Wsir had told her that he believed the girl had become a temple boarder. She had left her family's farm late at night in the company of a man, who had driven her to Saqqara. Once in the city, he had taken her to a temple, which only he had reemerged from. The girl had not appeared outside of the temple once for the duration of his stay. The only explanation he could think of was that she was staying at the temple.

Tia had readily agreed with his assessment. It made sense. The girl had no other place to go. A temple was the perfect haven for her. The priestesses would provide for her someplace to live with little or no questions asked. Nefer-Tina would try to stay there as long as possible.

Which made it that much easier for Tia to take her child from her.

It was pure luck that Amenhotep had picked the week of the slut's due date to send his hunters away on a trip. It saved her the hassle of having to tell Ja-Kal that she was going away herself. He would want to know everything before she left and after she came back, something she could not afford to ever tell him. (If he even had the slightest notion of what she was doing, he would leave her immediately.) This way she could leave and come back without him suspecting a thing. (Hunting trips usually lasted at least a week, if not slightly longer. She doubted she'd be gone even five days.)

Her plan was to go to the temple and tell the head priestess that Nefer-Tina was her sister. Unfortunately, her "dear sister" had a history of mental problems and was unfit to be a mother. She had a "tendency" to "forget things," like the fact that she was engaged to be married. She could not be allowed to keep her child under any circumstances. It was too dangerous for the poor innocent child!

Her "sister" could not be told of her presence either. They had never gotten along and things could turn ugly very quickly. The baby could become hurt! Better to keep her presence a secret, she would convince the priestess. She could quietly take the child away while her "sister" was too weak to argue. And knowing her "sister," she would quickly forget the baby anyway.

It was the perfect story and nothing the whore could do or say would be able to contradict it. The priestesses would believe the one who had the means of backing up her story...as well as making a sizable donation to the temple. Nothing would stop her from taking the child away. And then Nefer-Tina would be out of her life forever.

Satisfied that everything was going to work out exactly as planned, she began to pack some things for her short stay in Saqqara.

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina softly hummed to herself as she swept the floor of one of the many temple chambers. Sweeping was one of the only chores she was allowed to perform these days. Itekuyet, Sitin, and the other priestesses were adamant that she spend most of her times resting this late into her pregnancy, which made sense given how tired she'd been these last few months, but she felt guilty if she did not do her share of the work. Just because she was pregnant didn't mean she couldn't earn her keep.

Life in the temple was quiet and peaceful. She had been happy here, something she had never thought she'd be again after everything she had been through. It gave her hope for the future. Hope for herself and her child, whom she'd hold in her arms, according to Itekuyet, within days.

Days! She couldn't believe it, but it was true. She was only days away from having her baby. It was both exciting and frightening.

She owed everything to Raia. He had risked so much to help her and it had been his idea for her stay here. If only she could see him again, if only to thank him. But she knew she never would. It was too dangerous for him. Her old life had to remain behind her forever. All except for one small part of it.

Ja-Kal.

Ja-Kal was the one thing constantly on her mind other than her baby. She could not help herself. She loved him so much. If only she had been able to meet him, even for a moment...

She had begun fantasizing again about being married to him not long after she had settled into life at the temple. In it, her baby was his and they were so happy together. She dreamed of the life she wanted so desperately but would never have. Her fantasies were one of the reasons she felt so happy.

Suddenly she felt a sharp pain deep inside herself.

She stopped sweeping and placed a hand on her unbelievably large belly.

She had been feeling incredibly uncomfortable lately, especially when her baby decided that there was nothing more enjoyable than kicking his or her mother, but never before had she felt a pain. Was this normal?

Nefer-Tina became nervous. Her baby was due any day now. If something were to go wrong this close to the end...

She decided she had to tell Itekuyet immediately. As head priestess and the senior midwife, she would be able to tell Nefer-Tina whether or not this pain was normal.

As she went to lay her broom against the wall, she was shaken by another sharp pain.

But this time, it was accompanied by a strange sensation that was followed by the feeling of wetness between her legs.

She looked down to find a puddle on the floor as well as a large spot on her dress.

Both were tinged red.

Oh gods! Oh gods! Oh gods!

Terrified now, she began to call for help.

((((())))))

"I need you to push again for me, Karem," Itekuyet urged Nefer-Tina, using the name she had told everyone at the temple. "Can you do that?"

"I...don't...think..." Nefer-Tina barely managed, the pain overwhelming. "Oh, gods!"

"Easy, easy," Sitin soothed, rubbing her shoulders. "You're doing fine. This will all be over very soon. Just listen to Itekuyet. Push."

"No..." Nefer-Tina whimpered. "It...hurts..."

"I know, I know," Wenis sympathized, "but you do have to push now. Your baby is almost here. I can see the head."

"I...can't..." Nefer-Tina tearfully insisted. She was so tired, so weak. "I...can't..." She had never felt like this in her entire life. Who knew that giving birth would be such an ordeal? Unbelievably, she had been in labor for almost the entire day. She could see that it had gotten dark outside of her window. Would it ever end?

It has to. A realization suddenly set in. Because it's the only way I'll ever hold my baby in my arms.

"Push!" Itekuyet ordered.

And Nefer-Tina obeyed without further protest, trying to banish the incredible pain from her mind. She would not complain anymore. She only wanted to hold her baby.

"Good. Very good," Itekuyet praised her. "I just need you to do that one or two more times. That's all. You can do it."

Nefer-Tina nodded weakly.

"Good girl," Itekuyet smiled.

"I think one more push will do it," Wenis reported from her position between Nefer-Tina's spread legs.

"Did you hear that, Karem?" Itekuyet asked. "Just one more. One more and your baby will be here."

She only nodded again, afraid to speak.

"You've done wonderfully," Sitin told her as she continued to massage her aching shoulders. "Now it's almost over."

"Get ready to push," Itekuyet warned.

Nefer-Tina gathered the last of her remaining strength as she felt the pain building up again.

"Wenis?" Itekuyet questioned.

"I'm ready," the priestess answered. "I think this last push will do it."

Come to me, my baby.

"On my count," Itekuyet announced.

My arms are waiting.

"One."

At last I'll hold you.

"Two."

She squeezed her eyes shut against the pain. It was unbearable, but she would not give in to it. She would embrace it as it meant her baby would at last be in her arms.

"Three!"

Nefer-Tina pushed with everything she had and felt something pulled from within her at the same time.

Exhausted and still in pain, she collapsed on the birthing stool.

I did it, she thought tiredly. My little one is here at last.

And she smiled as her baby wailed his or her first cries.

But just as she was about to open her eyes and ask to hold her baby, she was suddenly overtaken by a new wave of pain.

She gasped, her eyes flying open.

Oh gods!

What was happening now? Was there something wrong with her?

"Easy, easy. It's just the afterbirth," Wenis explained. "Your labor isn't quite over yet. You have to push for again."

"I can't," she protested all of her strength drained, "I'm too tired."

"This is the last time," Sitin assured her. "I promise you."

Nodding weakly, Nefer-Tina pushed herself back into the birthing position.

"You truly have done wonderfully," Sitin continued, still rubbing her shoulders. "You should be proud of yourself."

The next contraction hit and she pushed once more, again feeling something leave her body.

"You can rest now, Karem," Sitin informed her gently. "It's finally over."

"I'll go dispose of this," Wenis announced standing up, the towels in her hands bloody. "Take care of her, Sitin."

"Yes, ma'am," Sitin said.

Sitin was one of the younger priestesses and Nefer-Tina thought of her as the closest friend she had made since coming to the temple.

"My baby?" she asked, suddenly noticing that she could no longer hear her baby's cries. She struggled to remain upright on the birthing stool. "Why can't I hear my baby?"

"Your baby is being cleaned up," Sitin promised. "It's perfectly healthy. You have nothing to worry about.

"Now it's time for you to get some rest," Sitin continued, coming into view for the first time in what felt like hours. "Let me help you into bed."

"When can I see my baby?"

"After you've rested."

"Why not now?" Nefer-Tina wanted to know. "I want to see my baby. Please."

She had waited so long for this day. She could not wait another moment to hold her baby.

"Please," she repeated.

"You need to get some sleep first," Sitin insisted, taking her by the arm. "Come to bed."

"But I want to see my baby now," Nefer-Tina countered. "Please, Sitin. Only for a second. Please."

"You're not strong enough," Sitin informed her as she pulled her to a standing position.

Nefer-Tina slumped against her, realizing that she was in fact very weak. But that didn't make a difference to her. She wanted to hold her baby.

"I don't care," she said as Sitin led her to her bed. "I want my baby now."

"In the morning," Sitin stated firmly. "After you've slept several hours. You need to regain your strength."

"No," Nefer-Tina protested. "I want my baby now. Please. Let me see my baby. Please."

"In the morning," Sitin repeated, helping her get under the blanket. "You need to sleep now. You've had a long day."

Nefer-Tina was getting frustrated. Why wouldn't Sitin let her see her baby? Yes, she was exhausted, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was holding her child. The child that she had carried within her for so long...

"Please," she tried again. "I want my baby."

"Close your eyes," Sitin ordered. "Get some sleep. You'll see you baby as soon as you wake up."

"Give me my baby!" she cried, tired of arguing. She wanted her baby. Why was Sitin keeping her from seeing her baby? "Why won't you let me see my baby?"

"Hush," Sitin scolded. "Go to sleep. You're overtired now. Get some rest."

"My baby! Give me my baby! Please!" Nefer-Tina pleaded.

And then she began to cry, her emotions a jumble.

"I'm sorry," Sitin murmured as she rushed out of the room.

"My baby!" Nefer-Tina called after her. "I want to see my baby!"

But Sitin did not come back. She was gone and Nefer-Tina was all alone, her baby who-knew-where.

She was hurt and confused. Why had Sitin, a woman who had been so good to her over the past several months, suddenly fled from the room without an explanation? Why wasn't she being allowed to see her baby? Why hadn't she even been told if it was a boy or a girl? It didn't make sense.

Not knowing what else to do, she continued to cry.

((((())))))

Tia smiled to herself as she listened to the whore's anguished cries. The sound was music to her ears. No one deserved to suffer more.

She turned to where the wet nurse was caring for the cause of the slut's misery. The baby boy was happily nursing, oblivious to his mother's pain in the next room. All he cared about was being fed.

Once again Tia thanked the gods that the child was a boy. Disposing of a girl would not have been pleasant. Unlike Arakh, she had no taste for killing. Once a victim was dead, it no longer suffered and where was the enjoyment in that?

Her mind then turned to her next task: getting the child to his father. Returning to Memphis was the easy part. The wet nurse would take care of the child until he was given to Arakh. The challenge would be convincing Irikara that her husband had an ounce of compassion for an abandoned baby.

That was the story Tia had finally convinced Arakh to use. Nothing else would work. Normal adoption involved both parents. The child would have to appear abandoned if he did not want Irikara questioning its origin. (Tia had a feeling Irikara wouldn't put stealing a baby past her husband. Which, in a sense, was exactly what they had done.)

Once the baby was placed into his father's care, her end of the deal was fulfilled. She could go back to concentrating on more important things, such as convincing Ja-Kal to marry her. She would never again need to spare the whore another thought.

The object of her hatred had finally quieted down. Tia figured she had at last succumbed to her exhaustion. The childbirth, from what she could tell, had been especially difficult.

Goodbye, little whore. We won't be meeting again.

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina sank to the ground in the cool alleyway, overwhelmed by a combination of sadness, hurt, and confusion. She once again gave into the tears.

Why had they taken her baby from her? Why had they thrown her out? What had she done wrong? She didn't understand how the priestesses could have gone from such kindness to this unimaginable cruelty in one day. It made no sense.

As she had aimlessly wandered the streets of Saqqara, she had gone over and over everything she had done since arriving at the temple. She had performed every task given to her and volunteered to do more. She had treated all the priestesses and other borders with respect. She had followed all of the rules. What had happened?

She could find nothing to explain their sudden hatred of her. Everyone had been so wonderful to her until that morning. She had even come to think of them as her family...

Where had she gone wrong?

The events of the morning had come as a shock to her. Itekuyet had woken her up and informed her that she had to leave before the sun set. No reason had been given no matter how hard Nefer-Tina had begged. The head priestess had only deposited a small bag of coins on the bed, repeated that she was to leave, and then left the room. Nefer-Tina hadn't even had a chance to ask about her baby.

Her baby.

Why had they taken her baby? Why? Her precious child that she had not even been allowed to see for even a second. What was the point? Why punish her in such a heartless way? What was their reasons?

Without her baby she felt as if a part of her had been ripped away. Her baby had been growing inside of her for nine months, and now, in less than a day, it had been taken from her. She felt empty and cold, an indescribable pain in her heart. The only family she had left was gone. She was truly alone.

I didn't even get to see it.

What was she going to do now? She had nothing. No friends. No family. No place to live.

Nothing.

She forced herself to stop crying. She wasn't doing herself any good by sitting in an alley feeling sorry for herself. Better to wait until she was somewhere safe before giving in to her emotions again. Being out in the open like this was dangerous for her. As she well knew, to be recognized this close to Memphis would mea

She had to get off the street, or better yet, out of Saqqara altogether. But how? And where would she go?

Staying at another temple was out of the question. She feared a repeat of what had happened today. (But why had it happened? What had she done?) So her only option was to find a place where she would have to pay for lodgings.

She opened the small bag of coins Itekuyet had left for her. The priestess hadn't given her much, just enough for perhaps a place to stay the night and maybe a little food. But it definitely wasn't enough to get her out of the city. To get that kind of money she would need to earn it.

But how? She had no marketable job skills other than her music, which she didn't dare perform. (That would draw too much attention to her, the very last thing she wanted.) Everything else Mama had taught her had been the skills of a mistress of the house and none of those would do her any good out in the world. What kind of job could she even hope to get?

Ironically, her greatest skill was the one forbidden to her. Chariots were where she excelled. Mehy had often told her that she was the best charioteer he had ever seen. If only women were allowed to race. Then she could just win the money...

Wouldn't that be nice? she thought. Mehy had once mentioned that the prize money for winning a chariot race was rather large. There was no telling what someone could do with that kind of money. Perhaps even start a new life...

Her mind traveled back to happier times, when she had easily won race after race against the farmhands. Disguised as Gua, Pakhet's made-up young "male" cousin, she had fooled everyone and been allowed to let her passion reign free. No one had ever thought to question her identity.

No one had thought...

No one had thought...

An idea came to her. A crazy idea, that if it worked, could lead her to her freedom. She'd never have to worry about anything again. She'd be safe and could at last lead as normal a life as possible.

One race. All she needed to do was win one race and she'd be free of this nightmare. She could start over, as she had been planning to do ever since...

Ever since...

The tears came again as she thought of the child that had been stolen from her.

Later, she berated herself, wiping at her eyes. She had to pull herself together.

She refocused her mind on chariot racing and the prize money. The prize money that she would use to start over.

There were so many details to work out. She needed to buy a disguise. She needed a chariot and a horse team. She needed a race.

From what she could tell, Saqqara itself did not have races. Which meant the nearest races were in Memphis.

The place from which she had been banished.

The place where, if she were caught, would lead to her death.

But it was a risk she had to take. At this point, she had no other choice. A chariot race was her only hope of survival.

Her mind made up, she rose to her feet and left the dark safety of the alleyway.

((((())))))

"Nefer! Are you up yet?" Kysen's voice called through the door. "If not, get there! You're gonna be late! And I mean it this time!"

Nefer-Tina bolted upright in bed.

"Oh no," she grumbled to herself. "Not again!"

As usual, it was her own fault. She had a tendency to lose track of time when she was practicing on the track. (In fact, she'd forget to eat if Kysen didn't forcibly remind her.) Consequently, by the time she thought about it it had gotten very late. And as a result she ended up oversleeping.

And oversleeping was a very bad idea on race days.

"Well? Are you alive in there?"

"I'm up!" she informed as she jumped to her feet and started scrambling to find her disguise. "And I'll be at the track before the race begins. Like I always am."

"Yeah, yeah. Tell it to some one who cares," he shot back. "Keep this up and one day you really are going to miss a race. And then where will your precious reputation be?"

"What is it with you and my so-called reputation?" she questioned as she started to bind her breasts as quickly as possible. It was an uncomfortable but necessary part of life as "Nefer," the male charioteer, whom she had been living as for almost an entire year.

"Because it's my reputation too," he reminded her. "Never forget that."

"As if you'd ever let me," she said with a smile.

Kysen's obsession with himself could be quite entertaining when she wasn't rushing to make a race. Although everything had to always be about him, he did everything in his power to make it seem like it was anything but. Of course he'd never admit to it. But that was part of what made working with him so enjoyable. (It was part of his "charm.") She doubted she could have found a better trainer if she had tried.

"Nefer's" teaming up with Kysen had been purely accidental. After arriving in Memphis in her quickly assembled disguise, Nefer-Tina had made her way to the racing stadium. Her plan had been to befriend a charioteer and use that friendship to eventually earn a chance to race. While not the best of plans, it was the only thing she had been able to come up with. But instead of a new friend, she had ended up with a trainer.

Kysen had been at the racetrack too, but for far different reasons. He had been looking for a new trainee since his last student had grown tired of the sport and had yet to win a race. ("A tragedy that I don't want to think about," Kysen had moaned to her many times.) Although he would deny it whenever Nefer-Tina questioned him, he had been searching for someone he could mold into a champion so he could share in the glory and earn the dreamed-about reputation of "trainer of champions".

Their paths had crossed when Kysen had decided that the "boy" was getting in his way and tried to chase "him" off. Nefer-Tina, however, had stood her ground and told him that she wasn't leaving until she had made a friend. (To her, it had been a life or death situation.) Kysen had found this hilarious and asked her why that was so important. So she had told him.

Kysen had immediately decided that this "boy" was exactly what he had been looking for and had made her a proposition. The "boy" wanted to race to win and Kysen was the only trainer "good enough" (his own words) to ensure that win. So Nefer-Tina, desperate for any chance at all to race, quickly accepted and a partnership had been born. And it was a partnership that had lived up to its promise. Nefer-Tina had become a champion racer and Kysen had earned himself the reputation he had only dreamed about.

Another product of the partnership had been Nefer-Tina's alias of "Nefer," an accident as well. She had been so overwhelmed by the fact that she was going to be able to race and win the money that she needed that he had caught her off guard when asking for her name. Of course, she had naturally started to say "Nefer-Tina" but had caught herself after uttering "Nefer." Unable to change it to "Gua," she had been stuck with "Nefer."

She had, of course, planned to leave Memphis after winning one race, but Kysen had begged her to enter another one. He had seemed so pathetically desperate that she had given in. (She had grown very fond of him in the short time she had worked with him. He was the kind of person that grew on you no matter how hard you fought against it.) And he begged her again after the second. And then the third. After the fifth consecutive win, she had finally given up trying to leave. Kysen had not wanted to let his "champion" go. (Though she was sure it had more to do with the fact that he enjoyed the companionship than the winning. They had by then become a family of sorts.) So, Memphis, for the second time in her life, became her new home.

And strangely enough, she discovered that she liked her new lifestyle. As Nefer, she was able to live out her dreams of chariot racing. It was more wonderful than she ever could have hoped. She was able to race and win. And win and win and win. She was the champion Mehy had always said she could be. Plus she had a new family in Kysen. She was, as hard as it had been to believe at first, happy again.

The first time she had realized that she was truly happy was when the Ja-Kal fantasies had returned. She had only been living as "Nefer" for three months when he had reappeared in her dreams. She had slept better that night that she had in months. They had not stopped since. And because of them, her love for him had only deepened...

However, it was not the easiest of ways to live. Every day she had to become someone else and that someone else happened to be "Nefer," the male charioteer. And pretending to be a man was one of the hardest things she had ever done.

Men were, both physically and emotionally, different from women. Nefer-Tina had to disguise everything that made her female, from her breasts to her natural tendency to openly express how she was feeling. She could not let her guard down for one second in fear of her true identity being discovered. When she interacted with people, she had to be "Nefer."

Her biggest obstacle was hiding her monthly bleeding time. But she did it, and for almost a year, her secret had remained safe. Living as "Nefer" had become routine and didn't distract her from the happiness she had found at last.

"Okay, I'm gonna believe you this one last time," Kysen informed her just as she finished the tedious breast-binding process. "But if you're late-"

"I'll be there on time," she cut him off. "I swear on all of the gods' names."

"Just remember you said that when you arrive after the race has started," Kysen stated matter-of-factly. "I'm going to go down and see if I can stall for time."

"You do that," Nefer-Tina told him, trying not to laugh.

"I will," he proclaimed. "And I know they'll listen to me."

"Of course," she agreed. "So go!"

"I'm going," he called. "I hope to see you there before the race."

"Yes, oh great pharaoh," she said as she pulled a shirt over her head.

She heard him still grumbling as he went to "stall for time."

She let out the laugh she had been suppressing out of consideration for his fragile ego as she finished getting into her disguise. The man was something else.

She gave herself a quick check in the mirror before rushing out of the door to try to beat Kysen to the stadium.

Then she had a race to win.

((((())))))

"Welcome to your new home, my love," Ja-Kal told Tia as he opened the door to the house that now belonged to both of them. He stepped aside and motioned for her to precede him inside. "I promise that you'll be happy here."

"I know I will," Tia smiled at him as she passed by, "because I've been the happiest woman in the entire world since you asked me to marry you."

It had taken over a year to happen since ridding herself of the whore, but Ja-Kal had finally proposed and Tia had known from that moment on that all of her dreams were going to come true. And today the first of them became reality.

"You have no idea how many times I prayed to the gods for the chance to ask you," he told her as he came in and shut the front door behind him. "But I didn't want to marry you before I could support a family. Thank you for waiting so long for me."

She turned around and came up to him. "How could I have done anything else? I love you." And then she kissed him.

She had told him the truth. She had had no other choice but to wait for him. No other man could give her what Ja-Kal could, especially now that he was the captain of the Royal Hunt. And for that alone she loved him.

"I love you too," he said when the kiss ended. "More than words can express."

"Then show me without words," she encouraged, moving even closer against him. Now that they were married, Ja-Kal could make love to her, which she had wanted him to do for many years. (How she often cursed his honor.)

And he did...

((((())))))

Mehy knew that he shouldn't take the time to watch a race, but he could not help himself. He was off of the farm so rarely. And being in Memphis, home of the greatest chariot races in all of Egypt, was an opportunity that he could not afford to pass up. Rekhmire would just have to understand, which Mehy had no doubt he would.

Ever since the incident nearly two years ago, Rekhmire's behavior towards all of his employees had drastically changed. Before that one bad season, he had been a wonderful man to work for. Now he was almost too helpful and too understanding. He went out of his way to make things easier for everyone in his employ. Mehy had heard the other field workers complaining about it more than once. But they all stayed because they felt sorry for the man.

Rekhmire had become a shadow of his former self. He was guilt ridden over the loss of his only child, for which he vocally blamed himself, and his sadness consumed him. He always looked tired and ready to cry at a moment's notice. Mehy knew from Pakhet that Karem feared for her husband's well-being. Karem believed that he would never recover unless he was able to reconcile with Nefer-Tina.

If only that were possible.

No one knew what had happened to Nefer-Tina. Pakhet had left her in a room asleep and the next morning she had been gone without a trace. No one had seen anything. There had been little hope of ever finding her.

Banishing the painful past from his mind, Mehy settled down into the best seat he could find, which wasn't very good at all. The stadium was more packed than he remembered, but it had been over twenty years since he had last been there. He could only guess that chariot races had become even more popular since the tragic accident that had prevented him from ever racing again. And Memphis was the best place to catch a race in the kingdom.

It was a well-known fact that only the best of the best were allowed to race more than once in Memphis. Everyone was allowed a shot, but unless a racer placed first, second, or third, they had little chance of ever racing at this stadium again. Consequently, the races were always intense.

He scanned the racers as they lined up at the starting line. He was too far away to see their faces, but he imagined they all wore the same determined expression in anticipation of barreling down the track. Every single one of them wanted to win, but only one could earn that honor.

He smiled as he remembered the days that he had been the one to get that honor.

Suddenly a hush fell over the crowd.

Surprised by such an unusual occurrence at a chariot race (surely things couldn't have changed that much in twenty years), he tried to see what had caused the crowd to grow quiet. The answer was even more of a surprise.

A latecomer was driving his chariot out onto the track. And, judging by both the crowd's reaction and his appearance, he wasn't the typical charioteer either.

The new charioteer was the smallest racer Mehy had ever seen. He also dressed unusually, wearing a shirt while all the others were bare-chested. Also unusual was the way that he had decorated his chariot.

He was definitely a favorite of the crowd, which meant he was good, really good. The Memphis breed of spectators were notorious for being harsh on racers that were less than perfect. To be loved by them spoke volumes.

The charioteer waved to the crowd and they broke out in loud cheers.

Mehy decided to keep an eye on him during the race.

When things had calmed down, the starting gong was struck and the races leapt into action...

Causing Mehy's jaw to drop as the small charioteer made a maneuver that very few people knew about.

A move that had been created by his own trainer Taharqu, for whom he had been the last student.

And he himself had only had one...

The small charioteer appeared to start at the same pace as his opponents and then gradually reduced speed until he was in last place. Once there, he moved into the outermost lane on the track. The idea behind the technique was to save up the horses for the last lap while the other racers tired out their horses, and then you'd jump to full speed and cross into the innermost lane. It was a technique he had used, and improved, during his entire career and it had never failed to put him in first place.

How had this stranger learned it? Unless...

"That's impossible," he murmured to himself. "It can't be."

But as the racers entered the final lap and the little charioteer did exactly what he would have done, move for move, Mehy started to believe that it just could be her.

And when "he" won, there was no more doubt.

"By the gods..."

The racer had to be Nefer-Tina.

((((())))))

"No," Nefer-Tina argued, "for the last time, I won't enter the race. I have my reasons."

"Reasons? Reasons! You and your reasons!" Kysen fumed. "You never tell me anything! All you ever say is that you have reasons. I'm sick of your reasons! Forget about your reasons! This is the race! You have to be in it!"

"No," she countered. "I don't."

"You're killing me here, Nefer," Kysen complained. "This is what we've been working towards! You win this and you're set for life!"

She sighed and turned away from him, exasperated by his behavior. Kysen very rarely got angry, but she was not going to give in to this. Entering the Nile Valley Championship was too dangerous for her.

The pharaoh himself was presiding over the race. If she were to win, she would be brought before him. And she had no doubt in her mind that he would immediately recognize the adulterous musician he had sentenced two years ago...

"I can't do it," she told him again. "I just can't."

"Why not?" he pressed. "Give me an actual reason, not that you have reasons."

She didn't answer him. She couldn't answer him.

"We both know that it'll be a breeze for you," he went on in a calmer tone. "No one can race like you, Nefer. You're the obvious winner. Why deny yourself such an easy win?"

She almost laughed at his tactic. As usual, he was trying to make it seem as if he only wanted her to race for herself when she knew that it was for him. Though she had a feeling it had to do with more than his reputation. There was something he wasn't telling her.

"I won't race," she reiterated. "You can't make me change my mind."

"I wouldn't bet on that," Kysen decided. "Because I know everything about you and that includes your dreams."

You wish.

He was really getting desperate if he was resorting to bribery. What could possibly be so important about one race?

"Remember when we first met how you only wanted to enter one race?" he continued. "And how after you won it I begged you to enter a few more? What would you say if I promised you that after this one I'll never ask you to race again? How's that sound? What do you say? Huh? Isn't that a fair deal?"

She fought down the urge to snort at that. He seriously thought that she still wanted to give up racing? Obviously he didn't know as much as he claimed.

She finally faced him again. "Why is this so important to you?" she asked, giving in to her curiosity.

"That doesn't matter," he waved her off. "What matters is that you enter the race, you run the race, and you win the race. In that order, of course."

"You're avoiding my question."

"I have my reasons."

She had to smile at his use of her own tactic. "Is that so?"

"Look, Nefer," he said in a different tone. "You know I'm pretty good about not pushing you into things that make you uncomfortable. But this is not one of those things. This is the single most important chariot race there is and if you're not in it this time, you won't get another chance for five years. And who's to say if you'll still be racing in five years? Now's your best shot. You're the best racer there is. No one can beat you.

"No one," he emphasized.

"I wish you'd let this go," she sighed.

"Do it, Nefer. Win it," he urged. "Please?"

She stared at him in disbelief.

Please. He had said "please." Kysen never said "please." If he was using "please," his reasons for wanting her in the race so badly were more serious than she had imagined. (Which was probably why he refused to share them with her.)

"You're not making this easy for me, are you?" she sighed again.

"That's the idea," Kysen explained. "Is it working?"

She realized that she really had no choice. This race meant a lot to Kysen, who had been so good to her. If it weren't for him, she wouldn't be where she was today.

She owed him.

"Fine," she relented.

"I'll do it."

((((())))))

Oh, gods, please let that be her, Rekhmire silently pleaded as his eyes followed the small charioteer around the track.

When Mehy had arrived with the news that he might have found Nefer-Tina, he had been overwhelmed by a combination of joy and dread. He had hurt her so badly on that horrible day. Would she ever be able to forgive him? Could he even forgive himself?

He had spent the last two years agonizing over his terrible mistake. He had single-handedly frightened off his only child, all because he had been unable to handle one bad harvest. What kind of a man did that make him? What kind of a father?

He and Karem had spent many sleepless nights wondering what had happened to her. (Karem's imaginings were far more positive then his own.) But never once had the possibility of her living as a man crossed either of their minds. It was an unimaginable concept. Yet, if Mehy was right, then that was exactly what she had been doing.

He had been shocked at Mehy's confession of secretly training her in the art of charioteering as a young girl. Shocked not because Mehy had done so, but because he had had no idea that the sport had even interested his daughter. And according to Mehy, she was an amazing charioteer, a natural-born champion.

Which was exactly what the figure below him appeared to be.

Please be my precious child, he prayed as the small charioteer skillfully took the lead, leaving no doubt in his mind of who the winner would be.

The Nile Valley Championship, the greatest of all chariot races, was as good as won.

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina fled the track as soon as she could. The fact that she had won, actually won, the most important chariot race in the country did not matter at the moment. All she cared about was disappearing from the stadium before the pharaoh saw her.

She made her way to the dressing area and quickly began to gather her things. She knew Kysen would not be happy with her at first for running away, but he'd get over it at soon as he was called to accept the award on her behalf. (He'd spend the rest of the day too distracted by his new status to remember that he was upset with her.)

She finished packing and, her bag secure over her shoulder, turned to sneak out the door...

Only to find her way blocked by the last person she ever thought she'd see again.

"Papa," she barely whispered before she could catch herself.

What is he doing here?

He looked very different from how she remembered. He seemed much older than he should, as if the years since she had last seen him had not been good to him. He was thinner and had an air of sadness around him. He was no longer the man who haunted her dreams. What had happened to him?

"C-can I-I h-help you?" she stammered, unable to hide her shock at both his presence and his appearance.

Please don't recognize me.

As far as she knew, Papa had never had any interest in chariot racing. Had he become interested sometime during her absence? And if so, why had he entered the racers' private changing area? What did he want?

"Yes, you can, actually," he began with a hesitant smile. "I... I just wanted to...speak with you for a moment."

Me? she thought, suddenly very afraid. Did that mean he knew? That he recognized her? But if that was true, why wasn't he angry?

She decided to keep pretending that she didn't know him.

"All right," she said as casually as she could manage, "but I can't stay long. I really have to go."

He nodded. "I understand. Your fans must be waiting."

Relief flooded through her as she realized that he really didn't know who she was. As hard as it was to believe, he had come just as a fan.

"All I... What I want to say is..." Papa fumbled, trying to find the right words. "Congratulations on your spectacular win," he finally got out. "You are an...incredible racer."

"T-thank you." Nefer-Tina was taken aback by the compliment. True, she had heard others say the same thing many times, but to hear Papa say it...

Papa smiled more confidently now, seeming to relax somewhat. "Anyone would be...honored to know you. More so to be...related to you."

Nefer-Tina was confused by his words. These were not the kinds of things a fan normally said. Did he recognize her after all?

"Y-you're very kind," she said, returning the smile.

Papa then did something even stranger. He began to look around as if making sure they were alone. When he appeared satisfied that they were, he took a stop towards her, a new look on his face.

A pleading look.

"I-" he started to say.

"There you are!" Kysen interrupted as he came running over. "I've been looking all over for you! The pharaoh is demanding to meet his new champion. He's ready to send the guards after you!"

Nefer-Tina knew she had visibly paled by the expressions on Kysen and Papa's faces.

"Hey? What's the matter, Nefer?" Kysen questioned. "You feeling all right? You suddenly don't look so good."

"Maybe he should lie down," Papa suggested, placing a surprisingly gentle hand on her shoulder.

He really doesn't know me, she told herself. I was stupid to think-

"But he can't," Kysen informed him. "The pharaoh wants to see him immediately. He said something about an announcement and that Nefer had to be there."

Oh gods!

She began to panic. What was she going to do?

"It's obvious he's not up to it," Papa argued. "The pharaoh will just have to understand."

"Are you out of your mind?" Kysen wanted to know. "This is the pharaoh we're talking about. Nefer has got to see him now."

"I-I'm all right," she forced herself to say, struggling to keep the fear out of her voice. She had no choice. She had to be seen by the pharaoh. "If the pharaoh calls, who am I to ignore him, right?"

"That's the spirit!" Kysen cheered. "Now let's go! You're holding everything up!"

"Wait," Papa called out. "Let me finish telling Nefer what I came to say."

"Make it quick," Kysen ordered.

Papa nodded and then he looked Nefer-Tina directly in the eyes. "I just wanted you to know. If I had a...son, I'd want him to be exactly like you."

"That's very nice," Kysen commented as he started tugging on Nefer-Tina's arm. "Let's go, Nefer! Put some speed on!"

Nefer-Tina let him pull her. She was too numb to do anything else.

A son. Papa said he wanted a son.

She fought back the tears that threatened to come as the numbness turned to pain.

And not just any son either. A son like "Nefer." A winner, a champion.

Anything but the pathetic excuse for a daughter he had gotten stuck with.

A failure like her.

She could not tear her eyes away from Papa. As she was dragged out of the area, she watched as his expression changed again.

This time it was sad.

"I'm sorry," he called after her, a pleading tone in his voice. "I-"

But the rest of his words were cut off as Kysen led her out of the changing area.

((((())))))

As Rekhmire watched his daughter disappear, he knew that he had truly lost her forever.

And he knew that it was his own fault.

He could not believe what he had done. Without meaning to, he had once again pushed her away. How could he have been so careless? How could he have so easily forgotten her tendency to misunderstand what was said to her? His one and only chance to apologize and he had ruined it.

The guilt was indescribable.

Fighting back tears of his own, he left the empty area to return to his seat, the one place he had left to see his precious Nefer-Tina.

((((())))))

"Ah, so this is our wayward new champion," Pharaoh Amenhotep remarked as Nefer-Tina was pushed by Kysen to stand before him. "You, my boy, are quite difficult to locate."

She immediately dropped to the ground, bowing her head. "I-I'm sorry, your majesty. Please forgive me."

She was now more afraid that she'd give away her true identity than of the pharaoh discovering it on his own. (If Papa had not recognized her...) She was very shaken from her encounter with Papa. If the pharaoh was angry with her for not coming to him directly when summoned, she did not know if she could defend herself as "Nefer," who used humor to cover up "his" emotions. One "strange" reaction on her part could lead to her execution.

Oh, gods, please let me get through this.

Much to her surprise, the pharaoh did not angrily accuse her of anything.

Instead, he only chuckled.

"There is no need," he informed her. "You are here now and that is all that matters."

"Yes, your highness," she said, keeping the immense relief out of her voice. Her identity was still safe.

"You may rise now," he told her.

Slowly and keeping her head bowed, she did as she was told. The longer she kept her face hidden, the less likely it would be that he would recognize her.

Amenhotep chuckled again. "It seems I make you nervous, young Nefer. I hope that this will not always be so."

"Yes, your highness," she replied though unsure of what he meant. After today she planned on never seeing him again.

"I would like for you to look at me," he continued.

Oh, gods! Oh, gods!

Panic set in as she realized she had no choice. The pharaoh wanted to see her face. It was more than likely that now he would recognize her.

Unlike Papa, Amenhotep had a reason to remember her face. She was a known criminal, banished from his capital city. Papa probably hadn't recognized her because as far as he was concerned, she was no longer his daughter. It was the pharaoh's duty to recognize her.

She looked up and waited for the inevitable recognition.

Which didn't come.

Instead, the pharaoh said, "I am not all that intimidating, now am I?"

Nefer-Tina was too stunned to respond.

He hadn't recognized her after all.

She was still safe.

Thanks the gods.

"Now listen well to what I am about to say," Amenhotep said. "I think you will find it very interesting."

She wondered what he meant by that.

He then stood up. "My people," he spoke loudly to the audience still seated in the stadium, "as you know my only son and heir, your beloved prince Rapses, has at last reached the age when his training to be your next pharaoh can begin. To insure that he is well-versed in all the necessary skills of leadership, I have decided that he shall have four tutors. One tutor to fill his mind with knowledge. Another to strengthen his body. A third to teach him strategy. The fourth will, when he is old enough, show him how to transport himself."

Oh, no, Nefer-Tina thought as she suddenly realized what the pharaoh had meant about his not always making her nervous. Gods, no.

"These tutors will also serve as his personal guardians," the pharaoh continued. "Protecting him will be their primary goal, even above teaching him. From now on, my son's life will be in their capable hands. That is why each one of them have been carefully chosen."

Oh, gods. Oh, gods.

"Allow me to introduce you to one of them now," he went on. "A man who has proven his worth by his skillful win of today's race. His victory speaks of his dedication and perseverance. This alone shows that he will make an excellent guardian and tutor for my son."

Nefer-Tina closed her eyes and prepared herself for the inevitable.

"I, Amenhotep I, proudly present to you your champion and my son's fourth and final guardian: Nefer!"

As the crowd started cheering wildly, Nefer-Tina knew that her life was as good as over.

Becoming the prince's guardian-tutor meant that she would have to maintain her disguise for an entire day every day. She doubted she could do it for very long. It was difficult as it was and her current lifestyle afforded her a great deal of privacy, privacy in which she could be herself with no fear of discovery. Once she was back in the palace, her privacy would almost cease to exist entirely.

And although the pharaoh himself had not recognized her, she had no doubt there were others in the palace who would. And not one of them would hesitate to turn her in.

But there was no backing out of this. The pharaoh himself has chosen her based on her performance in today's race, a race which she had not wanted to enter in the first place. (If only Kysen could know what he had done.) And one did not turn down a personal appointment made by the pharaoh.

She had no choice but to accept.

((((())))))

"I guess this is where we part ways," Kysen decided as he and Nefer-Tina approached the palace gates.

"I guess so," she agreed as she tried to keep the sadness out of her voice. "I wish we didn't have to."

The conversation between them had been strained all morning. Nefer-Tina knew Kysen was as sad about her appointment as she was. For two years, they had been a family. Now they were being forced apart by their pharaoh, probably never to see each other again.

"Well, you have no one to blame for this but yourself," he told her with a grin she knew was forced. "Who told you to be the best damn charioteer in the land?"

"I thought that was you," she retorted, trying but failing to return his grin. All she wanted to do was cry.

"I'm gonna miss you, kiddo," he finally admitted. "I've gotten, you know, used to having you around."

"I'm going to miss you too," she replied. More than you'll ever know. "

She resisted the urge to hug him, knowing that that was not something men did to each other. So instead she stuck her hand out.

He took her hand. "You're gonna make a great guardian," he informed her. "Rapses is in good hands."

"Thank you."

"Now get going already," he said, reverting back to his old self and giving her a small shove for good measure. "Your prince awaits."

"As my pharaoh commands," she smiled.

Kysen smiled back.

"Goodbye, Kysen. And thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled.

He then turned and started to walk away.

Nefer-Tina forced herself to turn away from him. She didn't want to watch him go. Saying goodbye had been painful enough.

Taking a deep breath, she continued her journey towards the palace gates alone...

Only to have her heart freeze in her chest when she recognized the figure who was standing in front of them, most likely waiting for her.

Ja-Kal.

((((())))))

"Welcome," Ja-Kal greeted the frightened-looking boy who was approaching him. "You must be Nefer."

"Y-yes," the boy, Nefer, stammered as he came to a stop, visibly swallowing. (He appeared ready to pass out.) He immediately averted his eyes. "I-I am h-here as the pharaoh commands."

The boy's behavior took Ja-Kal completely by surprise. Although the pharaoh had told him that Nefer was extremely shy and nervous, he hadn't expected someone this afraid. Nefer was acting as if he had received a punishment instead of a royal appointment.

He'll never survive as a guardian, Ja-Kal realized.

It was obvious to Ja-Kal that Nefer would not be able to handle the duties that were to be assigned to him, which included spending a great deal of time with the six-year-old prince. Rapses was a typical young child, undisciplined and wild. He rarely sat still or did what he was told. Caring for him would require patience and the ability to command. From what he could see, Nefer lacked that all-important ability. The young prince would walk all over him, which would create problems for the entire team of guardians.

Ja-Kal could not help but feel sorry for the fearful boy. The pharaoh had only been looking at his skills as a charioteer when he had decided to appoint him as a guardian. (And, as winner of the Nile Valley Championship, he was without a doubt the best in the land.) But he had failed to take anything else into account. A mistake that would hold consequences for everyone involved.

Ja-Kal knew from experience that the pharaoh would never realize that he had been wrong to appoint Nefer as one of the prince's guardians. Amenhotep tended to make a decision and then never give it a second thought. And unless the pharaoh noticed the young charioteer's unfitness for the position, Nefer would remain a guardian. So Ja-Kal knew it was up to him as leader of the guardians to make sure Nefer successfully performed his duties. (The pharaoh had informed him of his role upon his appointment.) He would have to do all he could to help the boy reach his full potential. The prince's future depended on it.

"I am Ja-Kal," he introduced himself, making his voice as warm and welcoming as possible. "Like you, I am also to be one of the prince's guardians. The pharaoh has sent me to greet you and to be your guide. I am here to answer any questions you may have."

"T-thank you," Nefer replied, his eyes still on the ground. "I-I'll try not t-to ask t-too many."

He's so afraid, Ja-Kal thought sympathetically. I wish I knew how to make him feel more comfortable.

"A wise hunter always prepares himself before a hunt," he told him. It was a saying his father had often used. "Ask as many as you need. I will not mind."

Nefer only nodded.

"Please, if you'll follow me we can begin," Ja-Kal said and he started walking through the gates. After only taking a few steps, he glanced over his shoulder to see if Nefer was behind him.

Nefer was but he was trailing at a slight distance.

Ja-Kal again felt sorry for the boy. He was so terribly afraid of what was happening to him.

If only I could help him.

He didn't know why, but he felt almost...compelled to help the young charioteer. There was just something about the boy that made him want nothing more than to be his friend. Ja-Kal didn't understand why he felt this way about someone he had just met moments ago, but it was too powerful to ignore.

Then again, it was possible his feelings stemmed from his desire to be close to his brother again. The relationship between Arakh and himself had been strained for years, but now it was nonexistent. The final parting had occurred after the lion incident last year, which had resulted in Arakh losing his eye and Ja-Kal's promotion to captain of the Royal Hunt. If it weren't for Irikara, he doubted he'd even be allowed to see his own nephew, Kimas, who was now nearly two-years-old.

He returned his mind to the present. Desire for a brother or not, Nefer was still in desperate need of a friend. And he was determined to be that friend.

He passed through the palace doors and patiently waited for Nefer to catch up.

He took a moment to study the newcomer. Nefer was very small and slender, a trait he supposed was an asset in chariot racing though he was too unfamiliar with the sport to be sure. His face was very young and made Ja-Kal wonder if he had lied to the pharaoh about his age. His features were, truthfully, very feminine and rather...pretty. Ja-Kal had a feeling that Nefer had been mistreated in the past for his appearance, which could account for his fearful nature.

When Nefer arrived, he asked, "Would you prefer to see your quarters before or after I give you a tour of the palace?"

"M-my quarters first, please," Nefer answered, finally meeting his gaze. "I'd like to lie down for a little while, if that's all right. I don't think I'm up for a tour today."

"Of course it is all right," Ja-Kal smiled. "Perhaps tomorrow then. But you will need to be familiar with the palace before you start your duties."

"I-I understand," Nefer nodded.

"This way then," Ja-Kal said, motioning for him to follow.

He headed towards the hallway that would bring them to Nefer's quarters. Unfortunately, the palace was currently occupied at almost full capacity, so the only available chambers were in the rear of the complex. Nefer would have to travel a great distance every day to and from his quarters. He hoped the boy would not mind too much.

The two of them walked on in silence since conversation was impossible with Nefer behind him.

Up ahead of them, Ja-Kal noticed someone step out into the hallway. As the person approached, Ja-Kal recognized her as Selkis, the head matron of the musicians. He had met her several times since his promotion to captain of the Royal Hunt. The pharaoh had invited him and Tia to attend several private concerts and Selkis had been at each, watching over her charges. He had had the pleasure of conversing with her while Tia had wandered off to talk to her then-friend Tabes, whom he had not been fond of. (Interestingly enough, Selkis had not liked her either.) He had been glad when she had recently married and left the palace.

He gave Selkis a nod of greeting as they passed each other, which Selkis returned. He did not expect her to acknowledge Nefer. She did not openly display her friendly nature except to those who knew her.

But, to his surprise, he heard a voice murmur something even his sharp ears could not decipher. He stopped and turned around to see Selkis and Nefer staring at each other. Nefer looked more fearful than before if that was even possible while Selkis seemed stunned.

As he watched, more words were spoken in whispered tones that resulted in Nefer violently shaking his head "no." Then as quickly as the encounter had began, it was over and Nefer and Selkis continued on their separate ways.

Ja-Kal waited for Nefer to catch up. "Is everything all right?" he asked, wondering what had just happened.

"Y-yes," Nefer replied in his now-familiar nervous stammer. "S-she thought I was someone she knew. B-but I set her straight. I've never seen her before in my life."

"I'm sorry you didn't know her," Ja-Kal said truthfully. "It would have been nice for you if you had a friend here."

Nefer shrugged. "I'm used to it. I've never had many friends."

This was the most Nefer had opened up to him yet. It gave him an idea.

"I'd like to be your friend," he offered.

Nefer just stared at him, a look of surprise and disbelief on his face. "Really? You... You'd want that?"

"Why wouldn't I?" he replied. "You seem like a nice person. And I could always use another friend. There's no need for you to be alone here."

Nefer seemed completely shocked and overwhelmed by his offer. "I... I don't know... I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything," he smiled at the boy. "Just accept my friendship. I really want you to."

"I... I... T-thank you," Nefer finally managed. "You... It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome," Ja-Kal said. "Now, come. We still have a way to go before we reach your quarters."

He started walking again and, when he checked over his shoulder, Nefer was following much closer this time.

He smiled to himself, pleased that he had made progress with his new teammate...

And friend.

((((())))))

From the doorway that she had hidden herself in, Selkis watched as Nefer-Tina walked away with the young captain of the Royal Hunt.

What was she doing back here? And why was she disguised as a man? What was going on?

Selkis knew that Nefer-Tina was too fragile a girl to do something this brazen on her own. (Her expression had been terrified when Selkis had tried to talk to her.) So what was she doing here? Where was her child? What had happened to her since she had been banished two years ago?

She had not been surprised by Nefer-Tina's denial of her own identity although she would have been lying if she had not admitted being hurt by it. (Perhaps if they had been alone in the hallway...) But she had understood the girl's reasons. The man that she was with, Ja-Kal, would not have hesitated to turn her in if he knew who she was. (He was a good man, perhaps too good at times, but he was stubborn and difficult to reason with.) He was the type who followed the law to the letter. It was no secret that his honor was why the pharaoh held him in such high regard.

But why was she with him? What was she doing in the palace? Selkis knew that Nefer-Tina had to be aware of the danger she was in just by being here. (Her look of terror had spoken volumes.) It was obvious that she had not had a choice in the matter. So what was going on?

To make things worse, her disguise was very poor. Anyone who knew her would instantly recognize her face. It was obviously sheer luck that no one had recognized yet. And it was even luckier that people believed that she was a man, though Selkis could not understand why. Nefer-Tina was a very beautiful girl, too beautiful to pass for a man in her opinion. She had been very fortunate so far.

Selkis prayed that Nefer-Tina's luck would hold out until she got through whatever it was she was involved in. Perhaps when she was finished, Selkis would be able to find her and talk to her in private. She wanted to know everything that had happened since she had last seen her.

But until then, she would act as if she did not know her. Whoever Nefer-Tina was pretending to be would be the person she addressed. Her true identity had to remain hidden at all costs.

The girl's life depended on it.

((((())))))

As Nefer-Tina shut the door of her personal quarters behind her, she collapsed against it, relief washing over her.

She had survived one more day. She had convinced everyone she had met that she was "Nefer" and no one had questioned it, including the three other guardians of the prince. It was miraculous, an act of the gods. But would her luck last? Could it?

She already had had two close calls. The first had been with Selkis almost immediately after her arrival. She had so badly wanted to talk to her, to fall into her comforting arms and tell her everything, but she had known it was impossible. Not with Ja-Kal there. Selkis had unquestionably recognized her, but thank the gods she had understood her silent pleas to pretend she didn't. Maybe one day, before she was inevitably caught, she could go to her and talk to her, confess everything...

The second had been the worst.

Tia.

It had been in the throne room for the guardian's formal presentation to the court. Tia had been standing in the front of the room. The moment their eyes had met, Nefer-Tina had known that she had been recognized. And she had immediately become deathly afraid.

But, much to her shock, Tia had done nothing other than glare at Nefer-Tina with the familiar hatred during the entire presentation. And that had scared Nefer-Tina more than anything Tia could have done, such as reveal her identity in front of the entire court. In front of Ja-Kal... It had meant that she had been planning something much worse...

And she had. After the formal announcement had been made, Tia had walked straight over to Ja-Kal and, in a scene that she had forced Nefer-Tina to witness more times than she cared to remember, kissed him passionately. It had taken all of Nefer-Tina's self control not to react. Then she had simply left the throne room, leaving Nefer-Tina with the impression that the torture had only just begun...

She shook the thought away and instead focused on the only thing that mattered: Ja-Kal.

She had finally met him today. The man she had loved from afar for so long. And he was more wonderful than she had ever imagined.

Ja-Kal was amazing. He was incredibly nice and generous, offering his friendship to a total stranger without a second thought. She couldn't have loved him any more if she tried. He was perfect in every sense of the word.

And she would be able to spend every day with him from now on. (At least, she would until she was caught...) It was thrilling and devastating at the same time. Thrilling, because she would at last get to know the man she had only dreamed about. And devastating because she knew he still could never be hers.

Especially now that he was married...

To Tia.

She had found out when she asked him about the woman who had kissed him. He had been walking her back to her quarters when she had casually brought it into the conversation. And he had told her, his voice full of the love she had always wanted to belong to her.

She hadn't been surprised. After all, Tia had always said that he would marry her. And there had never been any reason to doubt that he would. He didn't know what Tia was really like. And he loved her. Very much.

It had hurt her to listen to him talk about his wife, his love. He had spoken about her in the way she had always dreamed he'd speak about her. She had fought back tears at his words. Words of love and pride and unimaginable happiness.

Words that no man would ever speak to her or about her. Because as far as the outside world was concerned, she was "Nefer," the male charioteer. A man sworn to protect Prince Rapses and teach him in the years to come. A man who would also serve as Royal Charioteer. A man with no future ahead of him the moment it was discovered "he" was a she.

She sighed and walked into the room that would serve as her home until that dreaded day came.

It was much larger than the small chamber that she have lived in as a palace musician. It was even larger than the small apartment she had rented as "Nefer." It would make the perfect sanctuary where she could retreat and become Nefer-Tina again.

She didn't know how much time she had left, but she was determined to make the most of it. She finally had the chance to get to know the man she loved more than life itself and that alone was worth the risk of discovery.

She then began to unpack her things, officially beginning her new life as Royal Charioteer and guardian of the prince...

((((())))))

Nefer-Tina yawned as she regained awareness from a semi-restful night of sleep. She stretched and then slowly sat up in bed.

The memory-dream had continued as she had known it would. They always did. But least this time it had ended at a decent part: the day she had met Ja-Kal.

At the thought of her husband, she looked to his side of the bed, only to find him gone, as she'd known he'd be. He very rarely slept late, even on days where he didn't have to go to work.

Unlike me, she mused as she glanced at the bedside clock.

It was only after eight, which wasn't bad considering her interrupted sleep.

She pushed back the blanket and got out of the bed. Standing up, she stretched again and then shivered at the chill in the air despite the heat pumping throughout the house. Wanting to cover her naked body with something warm, she started searching the floor for her discarded robe.

As she found and retrieved it, she once again wondered why she even bothered dressing for bed. She and Ja-Kal made love practically every night.

She smiled at the thought, remembering their lovemaking of only a few hours ago, their second coupling of the night. The memories had reached a particularly painful section that had jarred her awake and she had needed the kind of physical comforting that only Ja-Kal could give her. Her husband had obliged her as he always did. (She loved him so much.)

She put the robe on and tied it at the waist as she walked over to the window. Outside, the storm had ended but had left pure whiteness in its wake. Everything was covered with snow, especially the road. No one was going anywhere today.

She then started to leave the bedroom to find Ja-Kal.

On her way out, the two sarcophagi leaning against the far wall caught the corner of her eye, reminding her that it was almost time for their mandatory monthly recharge. (Ja-Kal's orders, of course.) Although she understood the need for the four of them to maintain their ability to call their armor, she resented having to give up her comfortable bed for even that one night. (And, by default, the warmth of Ja-Kal's arms.) She had gotten very spoiled by living as a normal human.

She entered the hallway and immediately heard Ja-Kal's voice floating up the stairs, letting her know that he was on the phone.

I wonder who he's talking to.

There were so many possibilities. Her husband was a busy man with many responsibilities, both recent and ancient. How he was able to handle it all, she would never know.

"I know," he was saying to the person at the other end of the line, "but there's nothing you can do about it. Just try to ignore him."

As she descended the stairs, she tried to identify the caller.

"I understand," he went on, "but you're going to have to. If you try to talk to him, it will only make things worse. You know that."

What in the world?

She reached the first floor and was immediately greeted by Kahti. The sacred cat rubbed against her legs, purring loudly.

She bent down and pet her, eliciting an even louder purr.

She smiled. Kahti spent more time here than with Presley these days. Apparently the sixteen-year-old had stopped paying much attention to her. However she still slept in his room every night without fail. She would not abandon her duty to her prince even if her prince had all but abandoned her.

"Good girl," Nefer-Tina said as she gave Kahti one last stroke before standing up.

Ja-Kal was laughing at something said to him as she entered the kitchen. "Didn't I tell you he would?" he said to the still-unidentified person. "You won't see him for hours so don't worry."

He was sitting at the table with the cordless phone. The newspaper was laid out in front of him and an empty plate had been pushed to the side. He had evidently been up for a while.

She walked over to him and kissed him on the top of his head.

He looked up at her and smiled. He then slid out from beneath the table and gestured for her to sit on his lap.

She accepted the invitation and his free arm immediately wrapped itself around her waist.

"I don't know what good it will do, but I'll try to talk to him when we come over later," he spoke into the phone. "You know as well as I do that he doesn't listen to me anymore."

Nefer-Tina mouthed "who are you talking to?" and he sent back "Amanda."

"Ah," she silently acknowledged.

That explained everything.

Ever since he had entered high school last year, Presley had turned into, for lack of a better word, a complete monster. He no longer listened to any of his guardians or, for that matter, his own mother. He did what he wanted, when he wanted, only sometimes letting anyone know about it. And now that he was driving...

Nefer-Tina shuddered at the thought. He was more reckless than she had ever been. (Thank the gods Rath had been observant enough, for once, to notice that.)

In her opinion, he was worse than Prince Rapses had been as a very little boy and he had been pretty bad.

From what she had gathered from listening to Ja-Kal's side of the conversation, Presley had been ranting about something and Amanda not known what to do about it. Thankfully, he had finally gotten bored and retreated to his room. If she had a guess, she'd bet everything that Presley had been carrying on about having to miss school.

Last year, in a shocking development that had taken all the adults who knew him by surprise, Presley had suddenly decided that he loved school. And that had been when all the trouble started.

Presley, or "Chris Butler," as he was publicly known, had managed to become the most popular kid in school. He had a group of followers, who, in Presley's own words, "worshipped the ground" he walked on. They did whatever he told them to, no matter how ridiculous. He also went through girlfriends at the same rate that Armon went through food. No one ever knew who he was going to show up with when he announced that he was bringing one home.

He was also the worst behaved student in the entire school. The entire faculty couldn't stand the obnoxious teen. (Rath, who was student teaching there, had happily passed along the teaching staff's opinions.) He was disruptive in class and pushed all the rules to their limits. The only reason that he hadn't been expelled was that he was so smart and maintained a straight-A average, an amazing feat considering how little time he spent on his schoolwork.

"We'll see you later then," Ja-Kal was telling Amanda. "Enjoy the quiet while it lasts." Another pause as she made a comment. "Okay, you too. Goodbye."

He pressed the end button and heaved a sigh.

"And he used to be so sweet," Nefer-Tina quipped.

Ja-Kal put down the phone and shifted all of his attention to her. His newly freed arm joined the first one around her waist.

"Good morning, my love," he officially greeted her.

"Good morning," she smiled back.

He kissed her. "Are you feeling better?"

She nodded. "Much."

"Was your sleep restful?"

"Yes," she told him. "Thanks to you."

He smiled and kissed her again. "How about your dreams? Were they pleasant?"

She didn't answer right away, unsure of how to tell him that the memories had continued.

"It was the same one," he concluded when she didn't say anything. "Wasn't it?"

"Yes," she verified.

His arms immediately tightened around her.

"My poor love," he murmured. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," she assured him. "It ended in a good place."

"How is that possible?"

"It ended the day I met you," she informed him. "As I said, a good place." She then gave him a deep kiss to try to ease his concerns. "A very good place."

"I wish all of your memories could be pleasant," he sighed. "I hate that you suffered so much in the past. You deserved so much better. If only I'd..."

She knew she had to change the course of the conversation. Ja-Kal was starting to blame himself again.

"I don't want to talk about the past anymore," she informed him as she leaned against him. "All I care about right now is being in your arms. I could stay there forever."

He began to stroke her hair and back. "I love you so much. You're everything to me, my beautiful, beautiful wife. My Nefer-Tina."

"I love you too," she breathed. "You're my entire world."

He kissed the top of her head. "As you are mine."

She maneuvered so she could look into his face. Without another word, she leaned in to kiss him passionately.

He kissed her back, deepening the kiss and pulling her closer against him.

When the kiss ended, she asked, "What are you planning to do today?"

He reached up and brushed away a stray hair from her face. "I haven't given it much thought. I wanted to wait until you were up before deciding on anything."

"Not that there's really much we can do," she pointed out. "We're snowed in and everything's closed."

"Very true," he agreed. "That doesn't leave us with many choices, does it?"

"No," she smiled, "but I seem to recall that last time we found something we both agreed on."

He returned her smile. "Not that we save it only for snow days."

She laughed, glad to see that his emotional turmoil over her past had faded. "Or anythingded. "Or anything, for that matter."

"What can I say? You are insatiable," he teased.

"And you're not?" she shot back. "It takes two, remember?"

"Vividly," he assured her. "And keeping that in mind, may I suggest that you have some breakfast before we begin. I predict that you're going to need all of your strength."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Is that a threat?"

"Maybe."

She sighed dramatically. "And here I was thinking that you were the kindest, most considerate man in the world."

"Which I am," he mock-defended himself. "Just not today."

"And if I refuse to cooperate?"

Ja-Kal said nothing. Instead, without warning, he got to his feet with her still in his arms.

She squealed in surprise. "Ja-Kal!"

He laughed and gently placed her back onto her feet.

"Consider that a preview of what will happen if you disobey me further."

"Have I mentioned lately that you suck?"

"Far too often, my love," he informed her.

"Dang."

He gave another small laugh and then kissed her deeply.

Nefer-Tina kissed him back, enjoying every second of their playful banter. It was a part of their special relationship. A relationship she had waited what seemed like lifetimes to have. And now it was finally hers.

Forever.

The kiss ended and she once again told him how much she loved him before kissing him anew.

The End