...I...

TITLE: ...I...

AUTHOR: sleeplessdreamer42 )

FEEDBACK: Very appreciated!

CATEGORY: Luke/Lorelai

SPOILERS/TIMELINE: Continuation (sort of, I start in the episode) of 4.11 (In the Glamour and the Clangor). Now 4th season AU!

RATING: PG

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Since I got so many reviews (thank you so much for them and keep 'em coming!), I decided to really continue this. It's now my own season so I choose what happens and what not meaning I will take over some actual events from season 4 but not all, after all it's AU. I just wanted to let you all know that English is not my first language so please excuse any serious grammar errors. Now on with the story!

Nicole was concerned and angry when she hurried to pick up the phone. Her short hair was messy and her eyes puffy. Who called in the middle of the night? She was worried something might have happened. With Luke or her parents or whatever. But if it wasn't an emergency...

"Yes?"Nicole answered tiredly.

"Nicole, it's me..." she heard her husband's voice. He sounded weird.

"Luke, what happened?" Nicole asked scared. It didn't matter anymore what time it was.

"I... wanted to tell you I'm sorry. Sorry for lately. I mean... me not being around our house so much. I was... weird. I wasn't sure if I was ready for all this but tonight," he stopped a second and swallowed hard remembering the talk he had just had with Lorelai,"I missed you so much and all I want is to be with you. Now." He took a deep breath.

"Oh, Luke...but you've not been drinking?" Nicole was touched but Luke usually didn't tend to emotional confessions.

"No, no I have been thinkin', nothing else. I will bring over the rest of my stuff tomorrow, well today, and then I will think of something for this apartment." He stared around his 'home'. From tomorrow on, he would not live here anymore. Never again.

"I'm so glad. I was so worried you would change your mind. I mean you and- but I'm so happy Luke!" she couldn't say her name. Whatever Luke said and no matter how much Lorelai denied it, there was something between them. Apparently, Luke was now over it and they could finally start their future. One day she was sure, she and Luke would move away for real and then Lorelai would be gone anyway. One step at a time, she reminded herself.

"Yeah, took me a moment to process it."

"So I'll see you tomorrow."

"In our home, yeah."

"Goodnight, Luke. I love you."

"'Night." They hung up. It wasn't the first time Nicole had told Luke she loved him. Only twice had he replied the same. Once on the ship where they got married, when he was tipsy and a second time in bed. That night, he could not say it.

Lorelai wasn't able to fall asleep. Whenever she closed her eyes, she would see Nicole happily smiling with her huge stomach, holding tiny teddy bears in her hand. One for each baby – two boys. Lorelai felt like screaming. She needed to tell Luke the truth. What was the truth? She asked herself. He was important to her. Tell him that, she thought. But that sounded...stupid. Can't be more stupid than what you've already told him, her inner voice told her. She leaned over and picked up the phone again. With the little light from the moon that shone in from the window, she was able to dial the number she knew by heart. Surprisingly, since she still didn't remember Jason's number.

"Hello?" Luke was surprised but it was easy to tell that he had not been asleep.

"When I'm awake, I'm awake so it's your fault and I wanted to tell you that."

"Lorelai..." Luke sighed, "I'm sorry, ok? What do you want me to do no?" Lorelai was sure to hear annoyance but gladness as well.

"I don't know. I could eat something. Why don't you make me breakfast and bring it here?"

"It's not your breakfast time."

"Well, it wasn't my get-up time. But I am awake now and hungry and I want coffee. A non-rushed one." Where were all her resolutions from before? Telling him he was important in her life, why couldn't she say that?

"I'm not making you breakfast."

"But you woke me up!"

"I'm tired." Luke grumbled. It wasn't true though.

"So was I, didn't get a chance to sleep so you won't either, baby."

"I'm gonna hang up now."

"Just ring twice, I'll pick it up and if you wear a cute outfit I might even tip you." Lorelai hung up and wondered how she got so screwed up.

Despite the phone call, Lorelai felt her eyes drift close. It hardly took ten minutes before she was asleep.

Luke pondered whether Lorelai was serious about the breakfast statement. It would give him the chance to talk with her again. Somehow he was sure she wasn't telling the truth. But Lorelai often said things one shouldn't take too seriously. So what to do? 'Oh, screw it', he said to himself, walked downstairs and started making breakfast. For Lorelai. Short time after he had told his wife he would move completely into their new home. He didn't regret that, did he?

It took about five minutes before Lorelai was awake and aware that the knocks did not come from her dream, they were real. Her heart started beating faster. No one knocked at a door at such a time! She got up, grabbed an umbrella – the only weapon she could think of at the moment- and stumbled down the stairs.

"What do you want? If you want money go check my parents, they live-"

"Lorelai, it's Luke." Lorelai swung open the door and stared at Luke with a blank expression.

"What are YOU doing here?" she asked.

"Were you expecting someone else?"

"Yes, actually, I was waiting for- what are you doing here, Luke? First you call me and wake me and now you scare me to death and wake me. Is this a new game cause it's no fun for all the players!"

"I made you breakfast." Luke said stupidly. Had this idea been as stupid just minutes ago? To his surprise, Lorelai's eyes softened.

"Really? Coffee non-rushed and pancakes?" she asked with a dreamy smile.

"And muffins."

"Well, you pay well for night disturbances." She opened the door wider and Luke stepped in.

They didn't talk while eating. The enjoyed the silence, it was not awkward at all between them. Luke wanted to tell Lorelai about him moving for real. He was just trying to find the right words. Lorelai on the other hand wanted to tell Luke about the importance he held in her life.

"I called Nicole." Luke blurted.

"Amazing. Did you lead a conversation with me in your mind and this is some sort of outcome?"

"No, after we hung up, I called Nicole. Tonight."

"Oh... what did you call her for in the middle of the night? Does she like your new night-phone-call-game?"

"I told her I would move to the house completely now. You opened my eyes. I was stupid." Luke explained. He looked at Lorelai. There was a change in her eyes but he couldn't tell what it meant.

"Gr-Great. Glad you got that right." She said. She couldn't even come up with something halfway witty she was too shocked.

"I'll take my stuff over to the house today."

"Why didn't you start right after the call? Why wait? You're newlywed, more or less, you need the time. You know, honeymoon will be over soon. Honeymoon in Litchfield, set off and make babies." Lorelai said. She was sad, close to tears even. Yes, she was talking rubbish but what else could she do?

"God, why do you have to be like this, again? Why can't you be happy for me?" Luke threw the napkin on the table and rose.

"Luke..."

"After this phone call I thought- I shouldn't think when it comes to you." Luke opened the door.

"Luke, I-" Luke stopped at the door, his back was to her. Outside, glimpses of the sun streamed in. Red and orange lines, a promise of a new day.

"You- I-" Lorelai couldn't get it out. She couldn't make herself tell him. The words wouldn't come out. Luke waited another second or two, stepped out, closed the door quietly and blocked the sunrise from shining into the kitchen.

END part2

I did not like this part very much but I hope to write a better one next time. School really kept me busy (it still does), so I hardly had time to write, also I had a terrible cold and I think this is the only possible result. Please let the feedback come anyway!

Anika sleeplessdreamer42