(Munk's POV)
Well we finally found somewhere to sleep for the night but I was restless. My mind was racing from the day's events and my stomach was growling. How many days was it since we had that meat? Two maybe even three. And then there was that whole thing with the alley cat. That had been a close shave, and what use had I been? I couldn't even manage to protect my own sister. It was a good job we had Tugger and Lonz otherwise I probably would have been killed, Grid would...would... I shuddered just thinking about it. I sighed, it was no use, how could I sleep with all this going on in my head. I carefully slipped out of the cardboard box we were staying in so as not to wake the others and sat outside looking up to the stars. What if we never found this 'jellicle junkyard' if there even was one at all? We couldn't survive out here on the streets, not a chance. I felt guilty for having these doubts. I was the one who had to lead them, to reassure them that there was a better life with our names on it. I was the one who brought them here. If I lost hope, what then? There was no one I could talk to, well no one I wanted to talk to about this. About my doubts, my fears. They'd think me weak,
I suppose I am but I can't let them see that. They need someone strong, fearless, I'm not that person. I try to be, but it's nothing but an act. For Heaviside's sakes I'm one year old, we all are. We shouldn't have to deal with all this.
I was horrified to find tears filling up in my eyes. I fought them at first but eventually gave in to them. Best to get it all out so I could face the others tomorrow and put on a brave front.
"Munk?" Tugger's voice shocked me back into reality. I hurriedly wiped away my tears, glad that I had my back to him.
"Yeah Tugger?"
****************************************************************************
(Tugger's POV)
I'd woken up to find Munk wasn't there. The first thing that hit me was worry, where the hell could he be? Had he been catnapped? Or had he just left like Grizabella? I got up and clambered out of the box. Relief washed over me as I saw him outside. I was about to go and yell at him for giving me near heart failure when I sensed that something wasn't quite right. Was Munk crying? He was resting his head on his knees and his shoulders shook with the occasional sob. I didn't blame him, we'd had it hard since Grizabella disappeared. Him especially I suppose. As the eldest he'd took it upon himself to be the adult. Get the food, or whatever little we could manage to scrape together these days. Despite the lack of food he always survived on the smallest amount he could and let the rest of us fill our stomachs. He thinks I don't notice but I do and always attempt to shove a little more food down his throat. He'd end up starving to death if he had his way. I'm not about to let that happen. Despite our occasional arguments he is my brother. I call out a little uncertainly,
"Munk?"
He sat up immediately rubbing his eyes. I waited for him to compose himself before going closer.
"Yeah Tugger?" he replied.
We looked at each other, no words needing to be said. I led him back into the box,
"Come on, you need your rest."
Well we finally found somewhere to sleep for the night but I was restless. My mind was racing from the day's events and my stomach was growling. How many days was it since we had that meat? Two maybe even three. And then there was that whole thing with the alley cat. That had been a close shave, and what use had I been? I couldn't even manage to protect my own sister. It was a good job we had Tugger and Lonz otherwise I probably would have been killed, Grid would...would... I shuddered just thinking about it. I sighed, it was no use, how could I sleep with all this going on in my head. I carefully slipped out of the cardboard box we were staying in so as not to wake the others and sat outside looking up to the stars. What if we never found this 'jellicle junkyard' if there even was one at all? We couldn't survive out here on the streets, not a chance. I felt guilty for having these doubts. I was the one who had to lead them, to reassure them that there was a better life with our names on it. I was the one who brought them here. If I lost hope, what then? There was no one I could talk to, well no one I wanted to talk to about this. About my doubts, my fears. They'd think me weak,
I suppose I am but I can't let them see that. They need someone strong, fearless, I'm not that person. I try to be, but it's nothing but an act. For Heaviside's sakes I'm one year old, we all are. We shouldn't have to deal with all this.
I was horrified to find tears filling up in my eyes. I fought them at first but eventually gave in to them. Best to get it all out so I could face the others tomorrow and put on a brave front.
"Munk?" Tugger's voice shocked me back into reality. I hurriedly wiped away my tears, glad that I had my back to him.
"Yeah Tugger?"
****************************************************************************
(Tugger's POV)
I'd woken up to find Munk wasn't there. The first thing that hit me was worry, where the hell could he be? Had he been catnapped? Or had he just left like Grizabella? I got up and clambered out of the box. Relief washed over me as I saw him outside. I was about to go and yell at him for giving me near heart failure when I sensed that something wasn't quite right. Was Munk crying? He was resting his head on his knees and his shoulders shook with the occasional sob. I didn't blame him, we'd had it hard since Grizabella disappeared. Him especially I suppose. As the eldest he'd took it upon himself to be the adult. Get the food, or whatever little we could manage to scrape together these days. Despite the lack of food he always survived on the smallest amount he could and let the rest of us fill our stomachs. He thinks I don't notice but I do and always attempt to shove a little more food down his throat. He'd end up starving to death if he had his way. I'm not about to let that happen. Despite our occasional arguments he is my brother. I call out a little uncertainly,
"Munk?"
He sat up immediately rubbing his eyes. I waited for him to compose himself before going closer.
"Yeah Tugger?" he replied.
We looked at each other, no words needing to be said. I led him back into the box,
"Come on, you need your rest."