I don't own Lord of the Rings or any of these characters :(
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CRASH!
"Oops."
Merry covered his face with his hands. Oh no, he thought, what has Pip done now???
He slowly took his hands off his face and looked upon a very disturbing scene in one of the halls of Rivendell involving Pippin holding a broken vase and Gandalf in his bathrobe, yelling hoarsely.
"I - I didn't . . . I mean - erm . . ." Pippin was stammering, looking up at the menacing Gandalf in his pink bathrobe.
"PEREGRIN TOOK!" yelled Gandalf, his face turning the color of a raddish, "THAT WAS - THAT - THAT . . ." He tried to calm himself down. "P - Peregrin," he said through clenched teeth.
"Y - yes?" asked Pippin hesitantly.
"That . . . was . . . my . . . favorite . . . VASE!!!" Gandalf yelled, lunging at Pippin, who ducked out from beneath Gandalf just in time to watch the wizard hit the floor with a loud thud.
Gandalf lay there, face down, for a few seconds, then slowly raised his head to look at Pippin.
Pippin ran for it.
Gandalf let out a savage yell, and, his hair falling out of his shower cap, chased after Pippin.
"Oh, great," Merry sighed, and ran after the pair of them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed Pippin, running all over the place. He ran into a room and pressed himself up against the wall and waited a minute or so. After a while, he sighed and sat down on the floor.
"Phew, that was close," he muttered to himself. Then he looked up.
He was not alone.
He had ran straight into Elrond Half-Elven Master of the Last Homely House of Rivendell's bedroom. There, at his dresser, was Lord Elrond himself. In a biker jacket and pink boxer shorts. Dancing with a coat rack.
Pippin swore under his breath and dashed out of the room.
Elrond turned around. I could've sworn I heard something, he thought, I thought I heard a — hey, why is my door open???
And he slammed his door shut, but not before Gandalf saw him and he saw Gandalf. They both laughed hysterically when the door was shut. Then Gandalf continued his search for Pippin.
Merry had had time to catch up with Pippin before Gandalf did.
"P - Pip! Where are we going?" he asked, running alongside Pippin.
"I thought you knew?" asked Pippin.
"Oh for the love of my potatoes," said Merry (that was a saying in Buckland), "I don't have a clue where we're going, I don't even know where we are!"
"Oh great!" said Pippin, "We could be going around in circles!"
"Really, smart one," muttered Merry.
"I heard that," said Pippin, "And I'll have you know - oomph!"
He and Merry had both run straight into a tall pole. Or at least it seemed like a tall pole.
"Ow," said Pippin, massaging his head.
"You forgot the 'ch'," said Merry, rubbing his own head.
"Chow?" asked Pippin stupidly.
"No Pip, it - uh oh," he said, looking up at what he had mistaken for a tall pole. Except this pole was breathing, and it had long blond hair.
"Oh, hello Legolas," said Pippin, "I didn't see you there."
Legolas didn't seem to know the hobbits were there, either. He was fidgeting with his hair, trying to comb it vigorously while holding a mirror in one hand.
"Ugh," he muttered to himself, "It looks nothing like Haldir's . . . how does he do that?"
Then he looked down and saw the two hobbits there, looking at him questioningly.
He quickly hid his mirror and comb behind his back.
"Hello Merry, Pippin," he said. Then he asked, "What are you doing in this part of Rivendell?"
"Apparently, watching you brush your hair," said Pippin.
Merry elbowed Pippin in the stomach. "Actually, we're lost," he said, glaring at Pippin, who was bent double - whether in pain or laughter, Merry couldn't tell.
"How did you get lost?" asked Legolas.
Merry and Pippin glanced at each other.
"Well . . ." said Pippin.
"Pippin broke a vase," said Merry.
"Not intentionally," said Pippin defiantly, "I was walking down the hallway, minding my own business, not doing anything wrong -"
Merry snorted. He knew that in fact Pippin was running around breaking things intentionally - he was glad Gimli hadn't seen his axe yet.
"- and I was walking past the vase when Merry told me that Frodo was a gay ninja hobbit, and so I turned around quickly to tell him not to insult Frodo, and I accidentally knocked over the vase."
Merry found it hard not to burst out laughing. It was Pippin who had talked about Frodo being a gay ninja hobbit.
"Uh-huh," said Legolas, eyeing Pippin suspiciously.
"Yes, I know, it's hard to believe Merry could say such a thing about Frodo -" said Pippin.
"Okay, Pip, we'd better go now . . ." said Merry, pulling on Pippin's arm.
"Gay ninja hobbit," said Pippin, tutting. "When will Merry learn?"
Merry narrowed his eyes at Pippin, who then said, "Uh, well, we're leaving now, Legolas, I hope your hair gets better . . ." and he and Merry ran for it before Legolas could comprehend what Pippin had said.
"Smart move, Pip," said Merry, "Now we're lost, and we've got Legolas to worry about - best not run into him again."
"It's not my fault he's completely obsessed with his hair," said Pippin. "Elves, honestly . . ."
"So now where are we?" asked Merry, looking around at the tall pillars surrounding them.
He looked over at Pippin.
Pippin was as white as a ghost and staring at something ahead of them. Merry turned to look at what it was. It was Gimli.
And he looked very, very, mad.
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End of Chapter 1
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Thanks for all the good reviews, I'm working on the second chapter!!!
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CRASH!
"Oops."
Merry covered his face with his hands. Oh no, he thought, what has Pip done now???
He slowly took his hands off his face and looked upon a very disturbing scene in one of the halls of Rivendell involving Pippin holding a broken vase and Gandalf in his bathrobe, yelling hoarsely.
"I - I didn't . . . I mean - erm . . ." Pippin was stammering, looking up at the menacing Gandalf in his pink bathrobe.
"PEREGRIN TOOK!" yelled Gandalf, his face turning the color of a raddish, "THAT WAS - THAT - THAT . . ." He tried to calm himself down. "P - Peregrin," he said through clenched teeth.
"Y - yes?" asked Pippin hesitantly.
"That . . . was . . . my . . . favorite . . . VASE!!!" Gandalf yelled, lunging at Pippin, who ducked out from beneath Gandalf just in time to watch the wizard hit the floor with a loud thud.
Gandalf lay there, face down, for a few seconds, then slowly raised his head to look at Pippin.
Pippin ran for it.
Gandalf let out a savage yell, and, his hair falling out of his shower cap, chased after Pippin.
"Oh, great," Merry sighed, and ran after the pair of them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed Pippin, running all over the place. He ran into a room and pressed himself up against the wall and waited a minute or so. After a while, he sighed and sat down on the floor.
"Phew, that was close," he muttered to himself. Then he looked up.
He was not alone.
He had ran straight into Elrond Half-Elven Master of the Last Homely House of Rivendell's bedroom. There, at his dresser, was Lord Elrond himself. In a biker jacket and pink boxer shorts. Dancing with a coat rack.
Pippin swore under his breath and dashed out of the room.
Elrond turned around. I could've sworn I heard something, he thought, I thought I heard a — hey, why is my door open???
And he slammed his door shut, but not before Gandalf saw him and he saw Gandalf. They both laughed hysterically when the door was shut. Then Gandalf continued his search for Pippin.
Merry had had time to catch up with Pippin before Gandalf did.
"P - Pip! Where are we going?" he asked, running alongside Pippin.
"I thought you knew?" asked Pippin.
"Oh for the love of my potatoes," said Merry (that was a saying in Buckland), "I don't have a clue where we're going, I don't even know where we are!"
"Oh great!" said Pippin, "We could be going around in circles!"
"Really, smart one," muttered Merry.
"I heard that," said Pippin, "And I'll have you know - oomph!"
He and Merry had both run straight into a tall pole. Or at least it seemed like a tall pole.
"Ow," said Pippin, massaging his head.
"You forgot the 'ch'," said Merry, rubbing his own head.
"Chow?" asked Pippin stupidly.
"No Pip, it - uh oh," he said, looking up at what he had mistaken for a tall pole. Except this pole was breathing, and it had long blond hair.
"Oh, hello Legolas," said Pippin, "I didn't see you there."
Legolas didn't seem to know the hobbits were there, either. He was fidgeting with his hair, trying to comb it vigorously while holding a mirror in one hand.
"Ugh," he muttered to himself, "It looks nothing like Haldir's . . . how does he do that?"
Then he looked down and saw the two hobbits there, looking at him questioningly.
He quickly hid his mirror and comb behind his back.
"Hello Merry, Pippin," he said. Then he asked, "What are you doing in this part of Rivendell?"
"Apparently, watching you brush your hair," said Pippin.
Merry elbowed Pippin in the stomach. "Actually, we're lost," he said, glaring at Pippin, who was bent double - whether in pain or laughter, Merry couldn't tell.
"How did you get lost?" asked Legolas.
Merry and Pippin glanced at each other.
"Well . . ." said Pippin.
"Pippin broke a vase," said Merry.
"Not intentionally," said Pippin defiantly, "I was walking down the hallway, minding my own business, not doing anything wrong -"
Merry snorted. He knew that in fact Pippin was running around breaking things intentionally - he was glad Gimli hadn't seen his axe yet.
"- and I was walking past the vase when Merry told me that Frodo was a gay ninja hobbit, and so I turned around quickly to tell him not to insult Frodo, and I accidentally knocked over the vase."
Merry found it hard not to burst out laughing. It was Pippin who had talked about Frodo being a gay ninja hobbit.
"Uh-huh," said Legolas, eyeing Pippin suspiciously.
"Yes, I know, it's hard to believe Merry could say such a thing about Frodo -" said Pippin.
"Okay, Pip, we'd better go now . . ." said Merry, pulling on Pippin's arm.
"Gay ninja hobbit," said Pippin, tutting. "When will Merry learn?"
Merry narrowed his eyes at Pippin, who then said, "Uh, well, we're leaving now, Legolas, I hope your hair gets better . . ." and he and Merry ran for it before Legolas could comprehend what Pippin had said.
"Smart move, Pip," said Merry, "Now we're lost, and we've got Legolas to worry about - best not run into him again."
"It's not my fault he's completely obsessed with his hair," said Pippin. "Elves, honestly . . ."
"So now where are we?" asked Merry, looking around at the tall pillars surrounding them.
He looked over at Pippin.
Pippin was as white as a ghost and staring at something ahead of them. Merry turned to look at what it was. It was Gimli.
And he looked very, very, mad.
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End of Chapter 1
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Thanks for all the good reviews, I'm working on the second chapter!!!