Gimli looked like a bull about ready to charge. You could almost see the steam coming out of his nose.
"RUN!!!!!" shouted Merry, and he and Pippin ran and ran and ran. Merry could hear Gimli's occasional shouts of "YOU SUPERGLUED MY AXE TO MY BOXERS!!! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!" or "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!"
"Merry! Gimli's gaining on us!" shouted Pippin.
"Just keep running!" shouted Merry as they turned a corner.
"But - but -" said Pippin.
"But WHAT?" shouted Merry.
"I'm hungry."
"AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!" shouted Gimli from behind them.
"You still feeling hungry, Pip?" asked Merry.
"Yes, of course I'm - no, not really," said Pippin at the look on Merry's face, "But I can't run much longer!"
"Okay," said Merry, "Follow me." And he led them to a table. "Hide under here, quick!" he said, and he and Pippin hid under the table.
A few seconds later, Gimli came running past the table, yelling, "STUPID HOBBITS!!!!!"
The hobbits waited a few minutes.
"Merry, it's getting hot in here."
"Shut up."
"No, really, I'm going to suffocate."
"Oh."
"Merry!"
"All right, all right, you can get out."
Checking that the coast was clear, Pippin and Merry crawled out from under the table.
"We're in big trouble, Pippin," said Merry.
"We are?" asked Pippin, eating an apple he had found on the table.
"Yes, we are," said Merry, taking the apple from Pippin. Pippin frowned.
"We've got Gandalf, Legolas and Gimli after us now," said Merry. He took a bite out of the apple.
"Hey!" said Pippin, grabbing the apple from Merry. "That's mine."
Merry took back the apple. "I was the one who found the table, it's mine."
Pippin lunged at Merry, who ran from him. Pippin chased him all the way out into a courtyard. It was night now, and hard to see anything.
"Merry, where are you?" whispered Pippin. "I want my apple!"
He heard a snicker in one of the bushes, and he pounced on it. Merry and him struggled for the apple, but then they heard a strange sound.
"Waaaaaaaaaah! waaaaaaaah!"
Pippin raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"
Merry got up and out of the bush. "Dunno. Let's go look."
They crept around the courtyard, searching for the source of the sound.
"Over there!" whispered Merry, "Look!"
There were two black figures moving around in the courtyard, going "Waaaah!"
"Let's get closer," said Pippin, moving forward cautiously.
"I bet it's Gollum," said Merry darkly.
"Shh," said Pippin, putting a finger to his lips. "It looks like they're about to make out."
"WHAT?" said Merry, staring at Pippin.
"SHHH!" Pippin warned. "It's Frodo and Sam."
"WHAAAT???" shouted Merry.
The two figures turned, and in a second had both Merry and Pippin in a headlock.
Pippin hadn't been lying, it was Frodo and Sam. And they were both in ninja clothes.
"F - Frodo!" said Pippin, "I knew you were a gay ninja hobbit by night, but Sam . . .?"
"That's right Mr. Frodo, I told you he'd been spying on us!" said Sam, squeezing Pippin tighter.
Frodo let go of Merry's neck but still held on to his wrists. "Don't move," he commanded. "Let him breathe, Sam."
Sam reluctantly let go of Pippin's neck and grabbed his wrists.
Frodo tied Merry to a tree. He walked up to Pippin.
"What did you see?" he asked him.
"N - nothing important," said Pippin, "A little shagging, but that was all, I swear!"
Merry looked at Pippin as if he were insane. "What in the name of potatoes are you talking about, Pippin?" he asked.
"Nothing that concerns you," said Frodo icily, turning to Merry. "Keep your mouth shut."
"Now then," said Frodo, "What should we do with them, my dear Sam?"
"Boil 'em, roast 'em, cook 'em in a stew!" said Sam excitedly, getting his frying pan from his pack.
"Sam, we're gay ninja hobbits, not cannibals," said Frodo, looking concernedly at Sam.
"Oh, right," said Sam, "I forgot."
"Do not harm the hobbitses!" yelled Gollum, taking off Merry's rope. Merry dashed out of sight.
"What did you do that for???" yelled Sam, "You dirty rotten scum!"
"Stupid, fat, gay hobbit," spat Gollum, "Doesn't know what it's talking about, precious, no . . ."
Pippin bit on Sam's wrist, who howled in pain, and he escaped.
"Now look what you did, you filthy little -"
"STUPID FAT GAY NINJA HOBBIT!" shouted Gollum. Then he turned to Frodo. "Smeagol knows best, doesn't he, precious? Yes, he knows what the stupid fat gay ninja hobbit is trying to do."
Frodo looked at Gollum. "You're right Smeagol."
"No!" shouted Sam. "He's trying to take the sock!"
"The One Sock?" said Frodo, grinning evilly. "It's mine."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" yelled Sam.
"RUN!!!!!" shouted Merry, and he and Pippin ran and ran and ran. Merry could hear Gimli's occasional shouts of "YOU SUPERGLUED MY AXE TO MY BOXERS!!! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!" or "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!"
"Merry! Gimli's gaining on us!" shouted Pippin.
"Just keep running!" shouted Merry as they turned a corner.
"But - but -" said Pippin.
"But WHAT?" shouted Merry.
"I'm hungry."
"AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!" shouted Gimli from behind them.
"You still feeling hungry, Pip?" asked Merry.
"Yes, of course I'm - no, not really," said Pippin at the look on Merry's face, "But I can't run much longer!"
"Okay," said Merry, "Follow me." And he led them to a table. "Hide under here, quick!" he said, and he and Pippin hid under the table.
A few seconds later, Gimli came running past the table, yelling, "STUPID HOBBITS!!!!!"
The hobbits waited a few minutes.
"Merry, it's getting hot in here."
"Shut up."
"No, really, I'm going to suffocate."
"Oh."
"Merry!"
"All right, all right, you can get out."
Checking that the coast was clear, Pippin and Merry crawled out from under the table.
"We're in big trouble, Pippin," said Merry.
"We are?" asked Pippin, eating an apple he had found on the table.
"Yes, we are," said Merry, taking the apple from Pippin. Pippin frowned.
"We've got Gandalf, Legolas and Gimli after us now," said Merry. He took a bite out of the apple.
"Hey!" said Pippin, grabbing the apple from Merry. "That's mine."
Merry took back the apple. "I was the one who found the table, it's mine."
Pippin lunged at Merry, who ran from him. Pippin chased him all the way out into a courtyard. It was night now, and hard to see anything.
"Merry, where are you?" whispered Pippin. "I want my apple!"
He heard a snicker in one of the bushes, and he pounced on it. Merry and him struggled for the apple, but then they heard a strange sound.
"Waaaaaaaaaah! waaaaaaaah!"
Pippin raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"
Merry got up and out of the bush. "Dunno. Let's go look."
They crept around the courtyard, searching for the source of the sound.
"Over there!" whispered Merry, "Look!"
There were two black figures moving around in the courtyard, going "Waaaah!"
"Let's get closer," said Pippin, moving forward cautiously.
"I bet it's Gollum," said Merry darkly.
"Shh," said Pippin, putting a finger to his lips. "It looks like they're about to make out."
"WHAT?" said Merry, staring at Pippin.
"SHHH!" Pippin warned. "It's Frodo and Sam."
"WHAAAT???" shouted Merry.
The two figures turned, and in a second had both Merry and Pippin in a headlock.
Pippin hadn't been lying, it was Frodo and Sam. And they were both in ninja clothes.
"F - Frodo!" said Pippin, "I knew you were a gay ninja hobbit by night, but Sam . . .?"
"That's right Mr. Frodo, I told you he'd been spying on us!" said Sam, squeezing Pippin tighter.
Frodo let go of Merry's neck but still held on to his wrists. "Don't move," he commanded. "Let him breathe, Sam."
Sam reluctantly let go of Pippin's neck and grabbed his wrists.
Frodo tied Merry to a tree. He walked up to Pippin.
"What did you see?" he asked him.
"N - nothing important," said Pippin, "A little shagging, but that was all, I swear!"
Merry looked at Pippin as if he were insane. "What in the name of potatoes are you talking about, Pippin?" he asked.
"Nothing that concerns you," said Frodo icily, turning to Merry. "Keep your mouth shut."
"Now then," said Frodo, "What should we do with them, my dear Sam?"
"Boil 'em, roast 'em, cook 'em in a stew!" said Sam excitedly, getting his frying pan from his pack.
"Sam, we're gay ninja hobbits, not cannibals," said Frodo, looking concernedly at Sam.
"Oh, right," said Sam, "I forgot."
"Do not harm the hobbitses!" yelled Gollum, taking off Merry's rope. Merry dashed out of sight.
"What did you do that for???" yelled Sam, "You dirty rotten scum!"
"Stupid, fat, gay hobbit," spat Gollum, "Doesn't know what it's talking about, precious, no . . ."
Pippin bit on Sam's wrist, who howled in pain, and he escaped.
"Now look what you did, you filthy little -"
"STUPID FAT GAY NINJA HOBBIT!" shouted Gollum. Then he turned to Frodo. "Smeagol knows best, doesn't he, precious? Yes, he knows what the stupid fat gay ninja hobbit is trying to do."
Frodo looked at Gollum. "You're right Smeagol."
"No!" shouted Sam. "He's trying to take the sock!"
"The One Sock?" said Frodo, grinning evilly. "It's mine."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" yelled Sam.