Glimpsing the Fandom

by Dreamality

Disclaimer: Lost and all related characters, settings, plots, etc. belong to J.J. Abrams and ABC. I claim no ownership and make no money from this venture.

Authos' Note: Major thanks to Cerrita for providing inspiration for this particular chapter!! You rock, girl!!

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Chapter Four: Sun's Addiction to Fan Fic

It was very early in the morning, only moments past sunrise. Sun and Jin lay together in their personal space within the sanctity of the caves, and while Jin slumbered peacefully with a protective arm around his wife's waist, Sun lay wide awake, her eyes gazing unseeingly at the rock ceiling. Holding her breath, she gently slid his arm off of her and rose to her feet.

Only Jack and Sayid were awake. When they saw her she smiled demurely and kept her gaze cast downward as she walked towards the path to the beach. She had to go right by Michael and his son and it was all she could do to keep from staring blatantly at him. It was improper but the rush of adrenaline that accompanied the forbidden gaze was enough to propel her forward.

Her destination came sooner than she had expected. Without realizing how far she had come, already she was standing before the laptop. She would be the first to use it on that day, just as she had been the last to use it as soon as Jin had fallen asleep the previous night. When it powered up she opened an Internet browser and quickly typed in a URL that led her to a Korean-language website.

Greedily her eyes devoured the words of a fan fiction. It was long and its rating alone made Sun blush. The actual content made her feel as though she were committing some great evil. However, its addictive qualities made her want to read the multi-chapter fic all in one sitting. Unfortunately she was only allowed snippets of time to read a chapter or two before Jin might wake up, become curious about her whereabouts, and go looking for her. No matter what he could not find out what she was doing.

The part Sun had left off at the previous night had been a cliffhanger, and when she opened a new chapter she immediately became engrossed in the events. It was a romance involving her and another man on the island. That other man was not her husband, though Jin played a large part in the fic.

The other man was Michael.

The only one who knew her secret. The only person on the island whom Sun felt drawn toward.

It was wrong, she knew, and it went against everything that had been bred into her since the day she was born. Michael was not an upstanding member of Korean society; though her father had overlooked the "upstanding" part in Jin. Michael was not a member of Korean society at all, and had no knowledge of their customs, background, or culture. She doubted that, if she were to ever see him again, her father would be so willing to overlook these faults. Besides not being Korean, Jin was an American. An African-American.

For reasons Sun had never understood, her father and most other high-class Koreans looked down upon such people. At first she had been inclined to agree, until she met Michael and Walt. Although he was prone to passionate outbursts and showed emotion more than Jin would ever dare to, he had within him something that attracted Sun. And his son was nothing less than adorable. Since Jin had never expressed an interest in having children even though Sun longed for one, seeing a little motherless child pulled on her heart in the most painful of ways.

Thus, the tears that shimmered on her face as she read the exceptional fan fiction had reasons that went deeper than the thin laptop monitor in front of her. As she came nearer to the pinnacle of the story all concept of time melted away until the sun beat down on her, soaking her in sweat despite her thin cotton shirt.

Completely unbeknownst to her, she was being watched.

The person watching her was not pleased.

When he drew near enough to read the words on the screen, Sun being too engrossed to hear his soft footsteps, his anger doubled.

"Sun!" Jin barked.

Sun jumped and looked over her shoulder, eyes wide with horror as she took in Jin's angry expression, clenched fists, and tense shoulders.

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked in their own language. His voice was far too loud. Sun rose and walked towards him, trying to signal him to keep quiet lest anyone hear their fight. While they would not be able to understand, his tone spoke volumes and she did not want anyone else to know that they were arguing.

"Jin, please, there is no need to shout. I can explain," Sun said soothingly, putting her hand on his shoulder.

He slapped it away. "Explain what? That after I told you not to go near this white devil's machine, you not only defy me and go to it, but you choose to go to something like this?" Jin motioned angrily to the screen. A manipulated picture of Michael and Sun standing together on the beach made Sun wince and Jin clench his jaw.

"But Jin, you know that–" Sun tried to explain.

"Don't tell me what I do and do not know!" Jin yelled. Sun cringed and shrank away from his angry words. "I have seen these websites. The whole world hates me. They have already exposed you! I have read about you and… and… that man! I thought you were a respectable woman! I thought you would be obedient to me! Loyal to me! What kind of wife are you?"

For a moment, Sun looked down at the ground, since meeting his eyes when he was in the throes of such rage might be construed as disrespectful. She felt his eyes boring holes in the top of her head.

"Is it true?" Jin asked. His voice was like cold steel drilling into her.

"Is what true?" Sun glanced up for the briefest of moments to give Jin a questioning look.

"What they say," Jin said slowly, "about… people like him."

"I'm sorry?" Sun clearly did not understand. Jin was having difficulties getting out what he wanted to say. If Sun didn't know better, she might think he was almost embarrassed.

"About black people," Jin spat. "Is that why you go to him and not to me?"

Sun's eyes widened when she finally understood his meaning. "Jin! You do not understand! These websites, they are fiction!"

"Don't stand there and lie to me! I have seen you looking at him when you think I am asleep! You have never looked at me like that!" Jin cried in anguish.

What Sun saw before her was not the charming waiter she had fallen in love with. This was a mere shadow of a man, broken and falling into a dark abyss. To save himself he was grasping at things that weren't there, trying to dig his claws into her as deep as he could to make sure that if he went down, so would she. It might have worked if they were home in Korea. Here, where he did not speak the common language and was distrusted by most of the other survivors, he had no leeway. Sun did have one chance, one last card to play, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to use it just yet.

"Jin, please, you are being irrational. Michael and I–" Sun tried once more to excuse her actions.

"Michael? You are on a first name basis with him? Do you realize that he cannot understand you? That you cannot understand him? It would never work! Never!" Jin yelled in a melodramatic fashion.

"Jin, please stop acting like a twelve-year-old girl," Sun requested. For the first time she allowed herself to stare defiantly at her, and the change he saw in her eyes was a shock to his system. Boiling rage coursed through his veins and he actually began to shake as he stared at Sun.

"Sun, this is the last straw," Jin whispered. Before Sun had a chance to ask what he meant he had turned on his heel and was sprinting back up the path to the caves. His intent was suddenly clear and it caused Sun to shriek and run after him. When she caught up to him he was already looming over Michael and Walt, who were still asleep near the fire. Jack and Sayid saw him and got up just as Michael's eyes opened.

"Oh, not again!" Michael muttered. Walt, disturbed from a pleasant dream about his mother, began to stir. When one eye cracked open and he saw the face of a very angry Korean man looming over him rather than his mother's pleasant smile, he screamed.

Jin began yelling angrily at Michael. He and Walt stood up, Michael keeping himself firmly between Jin and Walt as he started yelling back. The colorful words and statements mixed until they were just one long roar, no longer discernable as intelligent conversation.

Jack moved forward to pull them apart. Boone, awakened by the noise, came to help while the rest of the survivors (minus Charlie and Claire, who had been kept up nearly all night by the newborn baby and by each other and were still fast asleep) gathered around to watch as though it were a show. After all, they were starved for entertainment, and this was as close to a soap opera as any of them had come in months.

Sun motioned Jack and Boone away and went to Jin's side. When she tried to put her hand on his arm he elbowed her, making her take a step back. Michael's voice rose again and he looked even angrier. While the words were foreign to him, their meaning was not, and Jin had heard enough. He drew back his fist and delivered a sizable punch to Michael's jaw before any of them realized what was happening.

Michael stumbled backwards, nearly knocking Walt over. Sun screamed and again Boone and Jack moved in. Once more she waved them off and grabbed Jin by the collar, forcing him to face her. This time she did not hide her emotions, as a polite Korean woman was supposed to do. There was no mask over her anger, her pride, her disgust, and Jin was afraid.

"I hate you," she said in Korean. "If you touch me again, if you so much as look at Michael or Walt, I will not hesitate to let the old man gut you like a boar." Then, in English, she added, "I hate you, and at this minute, with these people as the witnesses, we will be divorced." There. All her cards were on the table for everyone to see.

While Jin (along with everyone else) was still trying to recover from the shock of hearing her speak English, Sun clenched one fist, sucked in her breath, and scrunched up her face. With one swinging blow Jin was on the floor clutching his bleeding nose.

For good measure, Sun spat on him.

When Jin's pathetic sniveling reached her ears, a self-satisfied smirk spread across her face. She stepped over his crying form and went to help Michael into Jack's cave so he could be treated. Jin was left lying on the floor until Michael had been examined and given some painkillers.

That night, Jin moved back to the beach. Sun moved her stuff closer to Michael's and sat up half the night with him. At first she went to him under the pretense of apologizing on Jin's behalf and checking on his swollen black eye. Both knew that she was not responsible for Jin and that his eye had been well cared-for by Jack. She was really there just because she could be, and because she wanted to be there.

When their lips met for the first time at midnight, a small voice interrupted them to ask, "Does that mean I have a stepmom now?"

Sun and Michael looked at Walt, who was sitting up in his bedding looking at him curiously. Sun smiled and motioned from him to come closer so she could hug him.

"Only if you want one," she murmured.

"This is the weirdest family ever," Walt said. "But since we're in the weirdest place ever, I guess that works."

Over his head, Sun and Michael smiled at each other, both faces lighted by the milky moonbeams being filtered through the branches of the trees.

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To Be Continued…


Author's note: My sincerest gratitude goes out to everyone who has read this story.


Coming up: Fan fiction, slash, and incest, oh my! How will Boone, Shannon, and Hurley react?