Glimpsing the Fandom

by Dreamality

Disclaimer: Lost and all related characters, settings, plots, etc. belong to J.J. Abrams and ABC. I claim no ownership and make no money from this venture.

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Chapter Five: Sha-Boone is not a Hit. Neither is Booley.

The shriek that resonated through the jungle was loud enough that it reached Hurley's ears as he just stepped foot onto the path that led from the caves to the beach. He had been going to the laptop to look at some message boards about Locke and how he might be able to get them off the island. Now that such a scream was coming from the direction of the laptop, he wasn't so sure he wanted to go.

Still, no one else was around the camp. Jack had gone for a romantic stroll along the beach with Kate. Charlie and Claire were playing with the baby at the beach. Almost everyone else was trying to contribute through gathering fruit, hunting, or fishing. Except Boone and Shannon.

They had gone to the laptop.

Suddenly stricken with fear that they had been hurt –or worse– Hurley began to jog along the path. Within a minute he saw a figure coming towards him. It was Shannon, and she did not look happy. In fact, Hurley could not think of a word strong enough to describe the look on her face. Infuriated? Outraged? Shocked? Appalled? None even came close.

"Shannon! Did something happen? Is Boone okay?" Hurley asked.

"Boone? He's fine. Except he's just about the most disturbed human on the face of the planet!" she yelled, loud enough that Hurley was sure Boone could hear her. The laptop was just around the corner, after all, and Hurley suspected that Boone and Shannon had been surfing the sites on it.

"Why did you scream? Or was that Boone?" Hurley asked.

"It was me. I screamed because my bonehead of a brother started poking his nose around websites that need not be bothered with. If you see him, tell him not to come back to the caves tonight. I'm not sleeping within five feet of him!" Shannon declared, stomping her foot on the ground for good measure. She stormed past Hurley in a whirlwind of blonde hair and frilly skirt, a brooding look still marring her features.

Hurley watched her go in bewilderment before turning to go towards the laptop. He hoped Boone was still there so he might be able to get to the bottom of Shannon's behavior.

"Hey, Hurley." He was there, and he was seated in front of the laptop calmly viewing a web page. Hurley came closer to see what it was about.

"Hey, dude. Your sister's pretty pissed off. Did something happen?" Hurley asked as he sat in the chair beside Boone.

The other man laughed. "Yeah, she's fine, I think. I just found a website that kind of freaked her out."

"What, that slash stuff? Sayid told me about people who write about, like, gay people and stuff. Or was it, what's it called, bestiality? Locke said someone wrote about him and the polar bear, and that really freaked me out," Hurley said, giving a little shudder.

"No, man, it wasn't slash or bestiality. Check this out," Boone said as he turned the screen so Hurley could see it better. The website before his eyes had a collage of pictures at the top, all of Boone and Shannon. Some of them had been manipulated so they looked like they were in some compromising situations. The kind of situations that only happened between brother and sister way out in Hillbilly Land.

The title of the website was "An Incest Fest." It was a fan fiction hosting site.

"You've gotta be kidding me," Hurley uttered.

"No, my friend, I'm afraid not." Boone's expression was unreadable. Whether he was amused or disturbed, Hurley couldn't tell. "Some people out there are convinced that Shannon and I are getting it on."

"And you read this stuff?" Hurley exclaimed.

"I didn't really mean to!" Boone said in defense. "Shannon and I were just trying to find something interesting. We stumbled across this and before I read the title I clicked on a story. This one, in fact." He pointed to a story a little bit below the top. It was rated PG-13. The one below it was NC-17, and most of them were rated R.

"So they write about you and Shannon… actually… like… doing it?" Hurley asked.

Boone gave Hurley a strange look. "How old are you, man?" Hurley pretended to be looking at the computer screen to avoid answering. Boone snorted. "Yes, they write about us doing it, if that's how you want to put it. At least, I think so. I mean, I didn't read very much of it."

"I can understand why Shannon got so upset. I don't have a sister, but if I did, and someone said stuff like that about me… dude, I'd go berserk," Hurley said.

"Let's find something else." Boone opened the Favorites and went to a different website, one that had lists of websites that were all dedicated to the island and the survivors. Boone suggested checking out a Hurley website and found one called "With You in Paradise."

"More fan fiction," Hurley muttered when the page loaded. It seemed like all they ever found was fan fiction with the occasional message board dedicated to squealing about Sawyer, Boone, Charlie, or Jack. Apparently there were a bunch of teenage girls out there with way too much time on their hands. Honestly, who in their right minds would devote so much time to writing weird stories about people they didn't even know?

"Wanna check one out?" Boone asked, mouse poised and ready for clicking. If Hurley hadn't known better, he would have sworn that Boone was actually into this kind of stuff. As if he enjoyed reading these weird little stories about themselves. But no. That would just be creepy. Hurley didn't know Boone all that well, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't be the type to do his sister, or read about it. Right?

But Hurley was easygoing, didn't have anything better to do, and (truth be told) was a little curious about these fan fictions that had caused a few uproars in the past few days. With a good-natured shrug he said, "Sure, why not? Try the first one."

It had the very tame rating of PG, so Hurley thought he would be safe. Not that he expected anyone to write graphic romances about him, though. When there were guys like Boone, Jack, Sawyer, Sayid, and Charlie around, who would waste her time writing about someone who looked like Hurley? It would probably be some story about how he's such a great sidekick, a good confidante, and he would never get any action whatsoever.

"WHOA!"

Boone shout brought Hurley's attention away from his internal self-pitying and back to the matter at hand. Apparently Boone was a fast reader, because he was already scrolled about halfway down the page and his eyes were still scanning it, eyes wide as tea saucers.

"What's it about?" Hurley asked.

"It's… I didn't… they… ugh!" Boone was inarticulate, not something Hurley would have expected from this guy. It must be some story. Maybe he did get some action after all! Hurley grabbed the mouse excitedly and scrolled back up to begin the story. Within three seconds he shoved his chair away from the desk so hard and so fast it tipped over backwards, sending him sprawling onto the ground with his legs in the air.

"BOONE!" Hurley shouted angrily.

"I didn't mean to!" Boone cried. He started frantically clicking, keeping his eyes tightly shut, until the arrow found the little X in the corner and the internet browser closed.

"What were you thinking?" Hurley yelled, trying to wriggle around until he could get in a position that would allow him to stand up and carry out the plan his mind was formulating to beat Boone's ass into the ground.

"I didn't know, Hurley, I swear! I was just as grossed out as you!" Boone insisted.

"Slash fiction. About me? And…" Hurley could hardly spit the word out. "YOU?!"

"I don't understand it either! Those people are sick!" Boone yelled.

Apparently their yelling was pretty loud, since it had brought Kate and Jack running towards them, with Locke close behind them. Jack and Kate's appearance suggested their afternoon jungle make out session had been interrupted, which meant they weren't too happy, and Locke was his usually calm, mysterious self. When the three of them surveyed the scene before them, they exchanged bewildered glances.

Hurley was still on the floor, apparently wrestling with the chair that wouldn't let him get up, and Boone was standing over him with a pallid face, wild eyes, and his muscles poised for bolting away. Hurley's face was bright red with anger and he was letting out little roars of frustration every once in awhile. It was not something anyone expected of Hurley, and for Boone to be so afraid of him was almost comical. Kate put the back of her hand to her mouth, her other hand on her cocked him, and turned to Jack as she tried to stifle her giggles.

Jack looked back at her, his eyes laughing, then cleared his throat and looked at Boone. "Hey, Boone, you all right? What's going on here?"

Boone looked up sharply, then looked down again in shame. "Uh, nothing, Jack, everything's fine, nothing to worry about." He coughed a little. "You can go."

"Son, looks like there's been some sort of commotion here. Care to tell us what happened?" Locke asked. He took pity on Hurley and went to help him up, then found himself knocked to the side as Hurley lunged at Boone. What happened next was reminiscent of that old playground game of Cat and Mouse, with Boone playing the part of the lesser being. Hurley chased him around the tables, around trees, all around the clearing, yelling incoherently the whole way.

"Whoa, Hurley, hey, stop!" Jack yelled. He and Kate stood in Hurley's path to stop him and held him by the arms as Locke grabbed Boone before he could run away.

"Okay, Hurley, just take a deep breath and calm down for a second," Locke coached.

"What's going on, guys? Hurley, I've never seen you so mad. Did something happen?" Kate asked concernedly.

"What happened is Boone's a pervert!" Hurley shouted.

"I didn't do it on purpose, Hurley, don't be stupid," Boone scowled, sick of being accused of things he really didn't have much control over. "You were the one who told me to click!"

Hurley opened his mouth to let out a retort, then paused to consider Boone's argument. His frown smoothed out and he looked a little bit apologetic. "Oh, yeah. I guess you're right." His expression clouded over again. "But you didn't have to read it!"

Locke raised his eyes heavenward, clearly exasperated. "This laptop is turning out to be more of a curse than a blessing. What did you boys find today? More of that fan fiction? A message board?"

Boone sighed and explained to Locke, "First, me and Shannon came to see what all the commotion was about. We found this site where people wrote stories about me and her…" he blushed, looking very uncomfortable. "We were… they wrote about us doing stuff that… that brothers and sisters shouldn't do, you know?"

Kate pulled a face. "Wow. That's… that's pretty weird."

"Yeah, I know." Boone nodded and let out a puff of air that blew his bangs straight up into the air for a moment. "Then Shannon left because she was so pissed off. I guess Hurley heard her yelling and he came. We started looking for a different site, and we found one that said it was just for Hurley. It had even more fan fiction, and we clicked on one story that was about me and him."

Jack didn't even try to hide his surprise. "You mean, like, romantic?" he blurted out, earning himself a reproachful glare from Kate and a rather angry growl that came from the back of Hurley's throat. He had the grace to look somewhat embarrassed.

"Yeah, dude, it was like romantic. And it was disgusting." Hurley shuddered in remembrance of the words and hated to think that there were probably more of them out there, ones with ratings far worse than PG and with content more disturbing.

Locke fought the urge to roll his eyes. When were these people going to learn? Why was he the only one who could see? "But it wasn't true, was it?"

"NO!" Boone and Hurley shouted.

Locke allowed himself one little exasperated sigh that did not go unnoticed by Boone. "Well then what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is…" Hurley broke off, at a loss for words.

"What he means is…" Boone, too, couldn't find an adequate response to such an inquiry.

"Well, there you go. No harm ever came from reading a little story on the internet. Let those people have their fun. You don't have to read it. Now why don't you boys go off into the woods and play nicely for awhile while us big boys do important things?" Locke suggested. Everyone present was very surprised by the bitter tone of voice he employed. Hurley and Boone, very reluctant to annoy the enigmatic Locke any further, scampered away to do just that.

"Something bothering you, Locke?" Jack asked carefully, trying not to tread any toes.

"Oh, no, nothing at all, except for the fact that no one has realized that I know all of the island's secrets and they all refuse to listen to me and people think I'm just a tottering old codger and they don't realize the obstacles I've overcome in my life and no one respects my wisdom. Nothing's wrong at all, Doc, everything's peachy," Locke muttered, so low that neither Jack nor Kate caught more than a word or two. He raised his voice, offered a smile that was more like a grimace, and said, "Not to worry, Jack. I'll just go off and hunt down some more boars, okay? Save your lives once again in return for a passing 'oh, hey, thanks!' and maybe a complaint over the little variety!"

Whistling merrily, Locke wandered off down the path towards the beach, one of his hunting knives twirling in his hands. Kate and Jack looked at each other incredulously, then at the laptop.

"It does things to people," Kate whispered. "He was reading message boards this morning. I think it put ideas in his head."

"Sometimes that's a good thing, right?" Jack asked, reaching for her hand and offering a slow smile as his eyes appraised her.

"You know, I heard a rumor that the fan fiction authors out there don't stick to just boy-on-boy slash. I think some people are keen on the idea of me and Shannon," Kate mused, sounding as though she were considering the idea in her mind.

"What?" Jack demanded, going from flirtatious to shocked and angry in nothing flat.

Kate giggled. "If you want to claim me, you have to catch me!" She ran off, and he gave chase, and some time later they were on the floor of the jungle, Shannon being the farthest thing from Kate's mind.

As Boone and Hurley walked up the path, back towards the caves to find something to eat, an uncomfortable silence hung over them like a wool blanket. Boone glanced at Hurley uncomfortably, then at his shoes, and back at Hurley, who was looking at him. They looked away fast. Slowly, their heads turned again until they were looking at each other, then at the ground again.

They sat before the fire in the beginning of dusk, at opposite ends of a log, eating cold boar meat and overripe bananas. Boone cleared his throat, desperate to end the silence, and nonchalantly scooted a little bit closer to Hurley.

Maybe a little joke could lighten the mood? "So, you uh, come here often?"

Hurley looked at him like he was an alien life.

Okay, so that was no good, apparently.

After a few more minutes of silence, Hurley spoke up, and the tension drained from Boone. "You free tonight?"

"Sure. Maybe a cuddle session?"

"Only if you're comfortable."

From behind them came a muffled scream. They both whipped around to find Shannon, her hand over her mouth and her eyes wide in horror.

"No, Shannon, it's not what it looks like!" Boone shouted.

"You. Are. Di-sturbed," she whispered, pointing an accusing finger at him before stalking away to move her things far away from Boone's.

"What a drama queen," Boone muttered. He looked at Hurley and they both laughed a little. "Truce, man?"

They shook hands. "Truce. And hey, if you're too busy having make up sex with your sister to cuddle, I'll understand. There's always tomorrow."

Their laughter echoed far into the jungle, matched in volume only by Shannon's high-pitched squeal of disgust.

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To Be Continued…

Coming up: Charlie, Hurley, and Walt explore the theories floating around the internet.