Eowyn gave Pippin a nasty grin, turned around, and shouted, "The hobbits are over here!"
Merry and Pippin didn't have time to even look at each other - for at that moment Elrond, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Faramir, Denethor, and Eomer ran up to them and, grabbing hold of the hobbits, Elrond yelled, "Gotcha!"
"It's not us you want!" said Pippin, twisting and writhing in Elrond's grasp.
"It's not?" asked Merry.
"No," said Pippin, "Frodo and Sam are the gay ninja hobbits, and Wormtounge and Eowyn . . ."
"If you tell me they've gotten engaged I'll slice that slimy worm's head - " started Eomer, but Faramir broke him off.
"Nay, Eomer, do you not remember that Eowyn is married to me?"
Merry let out a little grunting noise.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" asked Faramir, turning to Merry.
"Well, uh - "
"Sorry to break it to you, Faramir," said Pippin, "But your wife's gay."
There was a very awkward silence.
"The correct term is lesbian," said Gandalf.
"Whatever," said Pippin.
"No she's not," said Faramir. "If she was, I would know. Besides, we've already - well, I won't get into that."
"You know," said Merry, "She could just be under the influence of the One Sock."
Everyone turned to Merry.
"What???"
"The One Sock," said Merry. "I think it turns people into gay ninjas after they've taken a good whiff of it."
"That's preposterous," said Pippin.
"How did you know that big word?" asked Gimli.
"Hello, we're getting off subject," said Elrond, "The One Sock was made in the soap suds of the Washer of Doom. Only there can it be unmade. Or at least washed."
"Why would we want to wash it?" asked Boromir.
Everyone looked at him.
"What?"
"Well, obviously, this sock must smell horrible," said Legolas, "Apparently it needs to be washed."
"No," said Elrond, rolling his eyes. "Well yes, it is smelly, but that is not the reason we should wash it - "
"What?" asked Legolas, "The only reason to wash a sock is when it's smelly."
"No, when it's dirty," said Denethor.
"Smelly."
"Dirty."
"Smelly!"
"Dirty!"
"SM– "
"That's enough!" yelled Elrond, "The sock needs to be washed so there will be no more gay - or lesbian - ninjas!"
Everyone looked at him.
"One of you must do this."
Merry and Pippin didn't have time to even look at each other - for at that moment Elrond, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Faramir, Denethor, and Eomer ran up to them and, grabbing hold of the hobbits, Elrond yelled, "Gotcha!"
"It's not us you want!" said Pippin, twisting and writhing in Elrond's grasp.
"It's not?" asked Merry.
"No," said Pippin, "Frodo and Sam are the gay ninja hobbits, and Wormtounge and Eowyn . . ."
"If you tell me they've gotten engaged I'll slice that slimy worm's head - " started Eomer, but Faramir broke him off.
"Nay, Eomer, do you not remember that Eowyn is married to me?"
Merry let out a little grunting noise.
"And what is that supposed to mean?" asked Faramir, turning to Merry.
"Well, uh - "
"Sorry to break it to you, Faramir," said Pippin, "But your wife's gay."
There was a very awkward silence.
"The correct term is lesbian," said Gandalf.
"Whatever," said Pippin.
"No she's not," said Faramir. "If she was, I would know. Besides, we've already - well, I won't get into that."
"You know," said Merry, "She could just be under the influence of the One Sock."
Everyone turned to Merry.
"What???"
"The One Sock," said Merry. "I think it turns people into gay ninjas after they've taken a good whiff of it."
"That's preposterous," said Pippin.
"How did you know that big word?" asked Gimli.
"Hello, we're getting off subject," said Elrond, "The One Sock was made in the soap suds of the Washer of Doom. Only there can it be unmade. Or at least washed."
"Why would we want to wash it?" asked Boromir.
Everyone looked at him.
"What?"
"Well, obviously, this sock must smell horrible," said Legolas, "Apparently it needs to be washed."
"No," said Elrond, rolling his eyes. "Well yes, it is smelly, but that is not the reason we should wash it - "
"What?" asked Legolas, "The only reason to wash a sock is when it's smelly."
"No, when it's dirty," said Denethor.
"Smelly."
"Dirty."
"Smelly!"
"Dirty!"
"SM– "
"That's enough!" yelled Elrond, "The sock needs to be washed so there will be no more gay - or lesbian - ninjas!"
Everyone looked at him.
"One of you must do this."