Before you read, please know that I have absolutely NOTHING against Harry Potter, I LOVE both Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, but I thought this would be a unique little twist to the story, even for those who don't like Harry Potter. And for those who haven't read Harry Potter, this isn't really a significant chapter anyway. I just thought some people might like it
"We should stop at Bree," said Sam to Merry, "I have an aquaintance there who wants to trade."
"Let's go through the Old Forest," said Pippin. "See old Bombadil."
Sam and Merry looked at him in disbelief.
"Are you mad?" said Merry.
"The last time we went in there you two nearly got suffocated by a tree!" said Sam.
"Well, when we were in Gondor we nearly got killed by Nazgul, Trolls, and Orcs," said Pippin, and we've been going back there a lot lately.
Sam sighed in exasperation. "He'll never learn."
"Learn what?" asked Merry.
"You're stupid too," said Sam, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Hey!" said Pippin. "Don't talk about my cousin that way!"
"Oh, you wanna start something?" said Sam.
"Bring it on," said Pippin.
They stopped their ponies and Sam and Pippin dismounted, fists balled in fury.
"You want a peice of me?" said Sam, a wild gleam in his eye. "Eh?"
"Uh, guys, we shouldn't really -" started Merry.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Pippin as he lunged at Sam and pinned him to the ground.
"What the -" Merry was trying to contemplate what he was seeing. Did Pippin actually just pin the mayor of Hobbiton to the ground in a wrestling move? Oh, no...
"You - filthy - little -" said Sam, punching every inch of Pippin he could reach, "BRAT!"
There came a sudden shrill whistle from right beside Merry's left ear.
"Ow!"
Merry turned to the side and saw Harry Potter in a referee's outfit, blowing a whistle and shouting, "THERE IS NO PUNCHING IN WRESTLING!"
"AAAAAA!!!!!" yelled Merry, trying to get Sam and Pippin's attention. "It's Harry Potter!"
"Who's - that?" asked Pippin in between muffled yells of pain.
"Our worst enemy!" shouted Merry.
"Why?" asked Pippin.
"Hello? Marketing! His movie came out the same time as ours! And everybody knows ours is WAY better!" said Merry.
"THAT'S IT!" shouted Harry, whipping out his wand. "PIPPIN WINS BY DEFAULT!"
"But I was rooting for Pippin," said Merry.
"THEN SAM WINS BY DEFAULT!" yelled Harry.
"NOOOOOOO!!!" yelled Merry, and he jumped on Harry, pinned him to the ground, and before he could do anything more, Professor Dumbledore appeared with a small pop! and looked at Harry and Merry.
"No no no no, Harry!" he said in distress, "You're not supposed to be in the Lord of the Rings story, this causes great controversy..."
"But he insulted our movie!" said Harry.
"WHAT?" demanded Dumbledore, reaching into his robes for his wand. "HOW DARE YOU???"
"AAARGGHH!"
Gandalf had come riding Shadowfax.
"Wait," said Pippin, "Isn't he supposed to be in the Undying Lands too... ???"
"He came back for a visit, remember?" said Sam, helping Pippin up. They both had black eyes and bruises.
"Oh, so that's why Frodo's here!"
"Frodo's not here."
"What???"
Gandalf dismounted his horse and raised his staff.
"You are not the old wizard here!" he bellowed, "I AM!!!"
"I know," said Dumbledore, "But your friend here" he pointed to Merry "insulted my movie!"
"Well it is a bunch of shit," said Gandalf.
"WHAT???" yelled Dumbledore, "You don't know what you're talking about! At least I don't have hairy-footed little beings prancing around my movie -"
"Leave the hobbits out of it!" said Gandalf. "And at least I didn't COPY off of J.R.R. Tolkien with the whole Dementor idea! They're just like Nazgul!"
"Why you -"
"Professor Dumbledore!"
Cornelius Fudge had just appeared beside Dumbledore. "We need to get you back to the nice insane asylum now..."
"But I don't wanna go!" yelled Dumbledore.
"But you MUST -"
"NO!"
And Dumbledore disappeared just as quickly as he had appeared.
"Harry, how could you not remember to tell an authority figure if you saw Dumbledore roaming freely?"
"Sorry. Forgot."
"Well, we'd best get you out of this place... These are our marketing enemies..."
And both Fudge and Harry disappeared.
"Well," said Pippin, "Shall we press on?"
"Uh... Sure..." said Merry, still in a slight daze.
"We should stop at Bree," said Sam to Merry, "I have an aquaintance there who wants to trade."
"Let's go through the Old Forest," said Pippin. "See old Bombadil."
Sam and Merry looked at him in disbelief.
"Are you mad?" said Merry.
"The last time we went in there you two nearly got suffocated by a tree!" said Sam.
"Well, when we were in Gondor we nearly got killed by Nazgul, Trolls, and Orcs," said Pippin, and we've been going back there a lot lately.
Sam sighed in exasperation. "He'll never learn."
"Learn what?" asked Merry.
"You're stupid too," said Sam, shaking his head in disbelief.
"Hey!" said Pippin. "Don't talk about my cousin that way!"
"Oh, you wanna start something?" said Sam.
"Bring it on," said Pippin.
They stopped their ponies and Sam and Pippin dismounted, fists balled in fury.
"You want a peice of me?" said Sam, a wild gleam in his eye. "Eh?"
"Uh, guys, we shouldn't really -" started Merry.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Pippin as he lunged at Sam and pinned him to the ground.
"What the -" Merry was trying to contemplate what he was seeing. Did Pippin actually just pin the mayor of Hobbiton to the ground in a wrestling move? Oh, no...
"You - filthy - little -" said Sam, punching every inch of Pippin he could reach, "BRAT!"
There came a sudden shrill whistle from right beside Merry's left ear.
"Ow!"
Merry turned to the side and saw Harry Potter in a referee's outfit, blowing a whistle and shouting, "THERE IS NO PUNCHING IN WRESTLING!"
"AAAAAA!!!!!" yelled Merry, trying to get Sam and Pippin's attention. "It's Harry Potter!"
"Who's - that?" asked Pippin in between muffled yells of pain.
"Our worst enemy!" shouted Merry.
"Why?" asked Pippin.
"Hello? Marketing! His movie came out the same time as ours! And everybody knows ours is WAY better!" said Merry.
"THAT'S IT!" shouted Harry, whipping out his wand. "PIPPIN WINS BY DEFAULT!"
"But I was rooting for Pippin," said Merry.
"THEN SAM WINS BY DEFAULT!" yelled Harry.
"NOOOOOOO!!!" yelled Merry, and he jumped on Harry, pinned him to the ground, and before he could do anything more, Professor Dumbledore appeared with a small pop! and looked at Harry and Merry.
"No no no no, Harry!" he said in distress, "You're not supposed to be in the Lord of the Rings story, this causes great controversy..."
"But he insulted our movie!" said Harry.
"WHAT?" demanded Dumbledore, reaching into his robes for his wand. "HOW DARE YOU???"
"AAARGGHH!"
Gandalf had come riding Shadowfax.
"Wait," said Pippin, "Isn't he supposed to be in the Undying Lands too... ???"
"He came back for a visit, remember?" said Sam, helping Pippin up. They both had black eyes and bruises.
"Oh, so that's why Frodo's here!"
"Frodo's not here."
"What???"
Gandalf dismounted his horse and raised his staff.
"You are not the old wizard here!" he bellowed, "I AM!!!"
"I know," said Dumbledore, "But your friend here" he pointed to Merry "insulted my movie!"
"Well it is a bunch of shit," said Gandalf.
"WHAT???" yelled Dumbledore, "You don't know what you're talking about! At least I don't have hairy-footed little beings prancing around my movie -"
"Leave the hobbits out of it!" said Gandalf. "And at least I didn't COPY off of J.R.R. Tolkien with the whole Dementor idea! They're just like Nazgul!"
"Why you -"
"Professor Dumbledore!"
Cornelius Fudge had just appeared beside Dumbledore. "We need to get you back to the nice insane asylum now..."
"But I don't wanna go!" yelled Dumbledore.
"But you MUST -"
"NO!"
And Dumbledore disappeared just as quickly as he had appeared.
"Harry, how could you not remember to tell an authority figure if you saw Dumbledore roaming freely?"
"Sorry. Forgot."
"Well, we'd best get you out of this place... These are our marketing enemies..."
And both Fudge and Harry disappeared.
"Well," said Pippin, "Shall we press on?"
"Uh... Sure..." said Merry, still in a slight daze.