"Merry," said Pippin, head drooping, "I can't -"

"WILL YOU QUIT COMPLAINING?" yelled Sam, "We're almost to Bree!"

"Really?" said Merry, "Well then, Pip, we must get our groove on -"

Sam turned around on his pony to stare at Merry.

"Kidding," said Merry.

Sam shook his head and turned back around.

"We've got about three miles left," said Sam.

"Three miles???" said Pippin, "But I'm hungry!"

"Then eat something," said Sam.

"I can't," said Pippin.

"And why not?" asked Sam.

"I kinda dropped my bag of food," muttered Pippin.

Sam sighed. "Well then you're just going to have to wait."

"Can't I just have some of yours -"

"NO!"

Pippin scowled. "Git."

They rode on for another hour or so.

"Here," said Sam, "Just over this hill should be... holy shit!"

"I've heard of holy cows before," said Pippin, "But never of - woah..."

"Well, there's a sight you don't see every day," said Merry.

Bree, once a regular grimy old city, was now covered in PINK FLOWERS.

"WTH???" exclaimed Merry.

"What...???" said Pippin.

"What happened?" asked Sam.

"Come, merry hobbits! You must dance!" yelled a villager as they passed through the pink-flower-covered gate and into Bree. He was wearing pink.

"AAAAAAAAA!!!" screamed Sam, chewing on his fingernails.

"Don't be a wuss," said another villager, "Dance!"

"Yes, dance for us, hobbits!" shouted yet another villager.

"Dance!"

"Dance, dance, dance!"

"DANCE, DANCE, DANCE, DANCE..."

The villagers were turning into a crowd of pink dancing-flower-loving zombies.

"RUN!" shouted Sam. "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

And he and the other hobbits galloped their ponies far away from Bree.

"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

Sam was still screaming when they were like twenty miles away from Bree.

Merry poked him. "Sam?"

"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"Sam??"

"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

"SAM???!!!"

Sam ceased his screaming.

"Thank you!" said Pippin, pulling his fingers out of his ears.

"Well, now what do we do?" asked Merry.

"Just go to the Shire, I guess," said Pippin.

So they headed for the Shire, but when they got to a fork in the road, the pathway to the Shire was blocked by giant pink toads.

"Pippin," whispered Merry, "WTH's going on here?"

"Don't worry," said Pippin, "I can speak toad."

"No you can't," said Sam.

"Watch me," said Pippin. "Hem hem... CROAK!"

The toads just stared at them.

"CROAK Crrroak, croooooaaakkk, CRoaK!"

The toads began casting glances towards each other, but remained where they sat.

"CROAK CROAK cRoAK!!!" yelled Pippin.

The toads scowled at Pippin and each took out a large baseball bat.

"RUN!" shouted Pippin, and he, Merry, and Sam took the other path: the one that led into the Old Forest.