Chapter Three, wheee! Of course at work. Thanks for the reviews so far!! hugs everybody Glad at least some people like the stuff I'm writing! I'm sorry I need so long, but I was on vacation and didn't have the time to do anything here. Just hope you'll like this chapter as the others! Okay, now on before I forget what I'm about to write g X's POV. Please review and let me know what you think of it!
We didn't bother to change clothes when we left my room and head for the city. Whatever I might feel, I just decided to enjoy this evening and try to see Zero as a friend, not more. I don't really know anyway if I would rather like him to return my feelings or mine to vanish to be friends again as always.
Our friendship means so much to me. I'm afraid to lose it. But the more time passes, I can't help but think that my feelings won't just go away like they came if I wouldn't tell Zero what I feel and get the answer right into my face. There's no other way to start getting over those feelings... If he doesn't tell me he's not feeling that way I would always have a tiny hope somewhere in my mind that wouldn't let me forget about my emotions.
Wah, I'm thinking too much again! We're already on our way. Just hope Zero didn't talk to me meanwhile, if he had, I didn't hear anything... I sweatdrop.
"Off in your own world again X?"
It must be an imposter! There's no way Zero could read my mind the last days all the sudden!
"Guess so."
"You daydream a lot the last days. Must be a great dream if you can't let it go."
He smiles. I wouldn't call it a dream. And of course not great! It's... eating me up.
"X, just try to forget about anything that bothers you! We'll have lots of fun tonight, Karaoke, bars, drinking, anything!"
"You know I don't drink much..."
"Time to change!"
And with this he pulls me directly into a bar.
Inside I try to remember if we've already been here before. I don't get the time to finish the thought because Zero already orders drinks for us.
"Cheers!" He empties his glass easily.
"Cheers..." I'm not that fast. But this really tastes good... What might it be?
"Hey X, I'm proud of you! You never drank so fast before!
"What are you talking about?"
When I take another look at my – now empty – glass I knew what he meant. Without noticing it was already empty.
"Oh. Well, it just tastes good. Can I have another one?"
"Be my guest!"
He orders two more for us. And so it goes on...
...
Not much later I already feel really drunk. I don't care, that's the best way to forget about things. Though it's a little weird, because normally Zero's the drunken one and I have to take care of him. This time he was giving me support when walking.
"Uhhh Zero I think that was a little much for me... Why didn't you stop me?"
"You wouldn't let me silly! Remember?" He laughs.
"Ohhhh Zero you're mean! You don't like me any more! I know it!!"
I look really sad, about ready to cry. At least this must be what Zero thinks of my expression because he suddenly looks guilty.
"No! Of course I like you, how could I not! And you know that! Who if not you would I have canceled a date for?"
ARG! He did just mention the thing I'm trying to forget all night! My mood decreases instantly.
"I didn't ask you for it..."
"What's up X? I didn't mean to give you the responsibility for this! I just.. wanted to point out that you are more important to me than a date!"
What was that? I must look exactly as if I just have said that due to Zero's reaction.
"I- I mean you're my best friend right? And no girl should be getting between us don't you think? Haha!"
He looks really stupid when he tries to distract me from something. I decide that it's better not to argue now. And my brain's so blurry right now I'm not really able to think about what it could possibly be he wants to distract me from.
"Okay. If you say so."
Suddenly I feel my legs not willing to support me any more. Luckily I'm already supported by Zero or else I would have fallen flat on the floor.
"Hey watch it X! Wow, now I know how you feel all the time when I'm drunk!"
"That's nothing! When you're drunk you're still able to walk properly for some reason, at least you're not falling... I think I couldn't carry you as easily as you do right now... wait..?!"
Did it really take me so much time to realize he was carrying me? I didn't even notice that the floor under my feet completely vanished. And if, I would have guessed that's due to the alcohol... I blush.
"No need to be ashamed X! It's okay! Actually I think it's really funny to see you drunk for the first time!"
"This isn't funny...." I mumble.
"Take the good part of it! I might be able to walk when drunk which you don't, but on the other hand you're still able to think clearly what I do not when having too much alcohol!"
He grins. I don't really know what to say. In my opinion I wasn't able to think clearly for already a couple of days, even when sober.
"I guess we're the perfect team. Imagine we're both really drunk! I could walk us home with you telling where to go! Hahaha!"
Now he bursts into loud laughters. For a moment I consider thinking about what he said, but then just laughed as well. Better no more thinking today, it's just confusing me. And the imagination of Zero carrying me just as he does right know, with me giving directions like a navigation system... "Please turn right at the next corner." ... that's really amusing! So we both don't stop laughing for the next minutes.
...
About two hours later we're back at HQ. It's already very late so I didn't expect anyone to be still up. As always when I think so, someone teaches me better...
"Hey guys!!"
Zero and me turn around.
"Oh. Iris. You're still awake..."
My face darkens although I don't really mean to. Stupid alcohol. How am I supposed to hide my feelings like this?
At least Zero doesn't look too happy as well.
"You should sleep already. It's late."
"You are still up as well!"
"That's a completely different thing!"
Seems like Zero wants to start a fight with her. My pleasure. Where's the popcorn?
"You're not my father to tell me what to do!"
Oh yeah I should drink more often! Sober I would have never been able to enjoy this nearly as much as I do now! I don't even feel guilty for thinking so! I would... tomorrow. I know that. But who cares right now? Hey what about that popcorn?
"Iris I don't want to discuss this now. Just go to bed, so will we now, right X?"
I blush.
"DAMN X, not together! You in yours and me in mine!"
"Oh..."
At least I could blame the alcohol for this reaction. Man I really think alcohol's not that bad after all!
"You're... you're mean Zero!"
Iris sobs and rushes away. Now I feel a tinsy winsy concerned. But not really much...
"This girl drives me crazy I swear!"
"I thought you like her?"
BANG! That hurt!
"Ouch!!! What was that for??"
Sitting on my back I have a painful look now. Zero just dropped me without any warning.
"Whoopsy..."
Did he smile?
"Idiot!"
"Wow, X is swearing! How cute!"
Now he smiles for sure!
"Why did you drop me??"
"You know X, I like you this way! Being a little rude after all! Not much, but it's a start! You're always so decent. That's okay, sure, but sometimes you should just let out your feelings!"
I gulp. That got me off guard. But he can't be talking about what I think he is right?
"I think I better go to bed now. Maybe I drank too much after all..."
I try to avoid his look.
"Okay then. I'll bring you to bed."
With this, he picks me up again and carries me to my room. When we enter I can't help but think of a freshly married couple whose husband is carrying his wife over the doormat. I chuckle.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, I just thought... wait!"
Suddenly I realize that would make me the wife. I'm no girl!! And I don't wanna be a girl!! Vigorously I shake my head. This must be very confusing for Zero.
"What are you doing?!"
"Nothing! I just don't want to be a girl!"
"What are you talking about?!"
"Do you think I'm girly?"
At last I could pay him back a bit for all the confusion earlier that day.
"Hum... no... not really. Well, maybe, sometimes. When you act touchy."
"I'm not touchy!"
"Yes you are!"
"Am not!"
"See?"
"..."
So much for this conversation. 1:0 for Zero. I should take conversation fights like this when sober...
Finally he drops me on my bed and gently covers me with my blanket. He sits down beside me, looking at me.
"So, have a good night, X! And try to get a little more sleep than last night, okay?"
"If I fall asleep at all that's already more than last night."
Good point. I think my mind comes back to me now. What reminds me... Zero just wanted to stand up.
"Wait!" I pull him back on the bed.
"What?"
"You said you might tell me what I said to freak you out earlier."
"Yeah, I said 'I might', not 'I will'."
He grins. That bastard! Hey did I really think that? I should watch out or else I'll be a swearing, rude person like Zero. Hm... not the worst when I think about it... after all I like this rude person very much... Hey, back to topic!
"C'mon Zero! Tell me!" I pout. That's his weak spot, just as mine, I know that. Only begging and pouting at Zero only gives me advantages, against me almost – no, really everyone can take advantage of it.
"Nah..." He tries to avoid my look. Failed. Ha!
"Okay okay! But stop looking at me like that!!"
I smile.
"Well?"
"Okay... it's not really a thing to freak out about like I did. It was just... damn you mentioned all along that I liked Iris and stuff. And then, on top, said that she's my girlfriend."
"Is she not?"
I look really innocent. After all, I've been sure about that.
"HELL NO! She's not!! And will never be okay?"
"Sorry, Zero... didn't mean to offend you by saying that, but... jeez I'm confused... I heard some girls talk about... well, you and Iris and your relationship."
"Which girls? I'll make sure they never say crap like that again!"
He looks scary.
"Zero, please! They didn't exactly say you're together, but from what I heard it was pretty obvious."
"What did they say?"
Whoops! What did I get myself into? I don't want to tell him that I've heard that they kissed. I couldn't stand the truth when he told me that was right. Even if he says that means nothing. Kissing is... well, we had that already... I sigh.
"What did they say I asked??"
He's stubborn. But I can see in his eyes he's really pissed because of those girls.
"Just forget what I said Zero, okay?"
I'm almost begging now. I don't want this conversation to go on. Or else I might hear something I don't want to hear... What if he doesn't want anyone to say they're together because he's about to ask her for it and doesn't want her to know before that?
Sometimes I really wonder how I make up such very adventuresome conclusions... It's like I want to believe they're a couple...
"Hey X! You're dreaming again! Don't avoid me!"
"W- what?"
"I still want to know what they said!"
"Better not..."
"You will!"
"I might... someday."
Yeah that was just so good! I'm a god! Got him with his own weapons! Ha! He sighs.
"Okay okay I got it! That point goes to you then! But our discussions not finished yet!"
"If you say so..." I look innocently at him again. That's 1:1.
"Guess I shouldn't discuss things with you when you're drunk. You're even more adroit then when you're sober! Who would have thought..."
He gets up and strides towards the door. When he takes the handle, he turns around again.
"Just want you to know one thing that's very important. And a question before that. So listen carefully okay?"
I look at him curiously.
"Yeah, what is it?"
"First, did you want me to date Iris or not?"
Why does he ask this?
"To be honest... no, I didn't want you to go out. But please, don't ask why..."
He nods.
"And second, I don't really like Iris as anyone seems to think around here... and less than ever love her! Okay? Did you get that?"
I look puzzled.
"You mean-"
"Good night X!"
And without letting me finish my question he leaves. I don't really know what I wanted to ask anyway. His statement was quite clear. But why did he point that out so vigorously?
Great, now I'm confused again! 2:1 for Zero...