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"It's okay to be selfish sometimes, y'know?"

"It's okay to be selfish sometimes, y'know?" The newly labeled councilor Talis announced in the microphone in one of his many successful speeches to Piltovers patrons, this which caught Viktors attention.

Viktor lifted his head from the floor he was looking at and took a glimpse at Jayce's structure,

"..huh."

Viktor said under his breath, thinking something or…"someone", might hear him in that quiet and dark back-stage. He had a confused yet concentrated look on his face…as if he were hypnotized by the tall boy in front of him. When sudden loud and captivating clapping begin out on stage which made Viktor click back out of his analytic mind.

He had realized Jayce was walking his way, muttering something under his breath. Viktor could not understand what he was saying, a part of him was still looping that same idealistic sentence Jayce had said to his audience.

"Vik?...Viktor?"

Jayce said in a clearer tone entering backstage, where his lab-partner was. Concerned, he waved his hand to where Viktors eyes where set on.

The young man's amber eyes were shining due to the light of the stage being so bright. That same glimmer leaving his eyes as he snapped back and turned his head to the dark wall where Jayce was standing near.

"You okay Vik? It's unusual of you to get lost in your own thoughts during a speech. You're usuall so attentive. Too attentive I might add, you always sass at me after any speech!"

Jayce teased playfully and mocked at Viktor, pointing out how critical and analytical he is. It was unusual for him to self-center in a moment like this where they usually present a new invention or announce something life-changing and extraordinary. Viktor isn't the type to put his own mind first in a moment important for Jayce.

"Ah..I'm sorry, it's just-"

Viktor began to say as he stuttered a bit as he realized he can't let Jayce know why he was so focused on him in the first place. He just can't, he shouldn't.

"I was thinking about how...innovative this is, we've accomplished so much, and it's finally leading to our visualizations."

Viktor said thinking of the fastest and most reliable excuse he could throw out at Jayce as he stood up from the chair he was sitting on.

Jayce proceeds to walk to Viktor, wrapping his arm around him as they both face the small view of the golden stage, he chuckles,

"we've come so far...I can just think- no, I can see in my head how many lives we've yet to improve. The Hexgates are one of the thousands of steps we've yet to take, and I'm glad you're here with me to see all of it unfold!"

Jayce said, with a shine in his eyes and a some-what bright shine from his perfect smile. Viktor felt something in his gut drop as he stood there, touching body-to-body with Jayce, he wanted to get a glimpse of Jayce's smile, how it made his jawline sharper and stronger. But he knew he couldn't, it was too much for him. Viktor looked at the stage trying to focus on how it's shine was hypnotic, it was golden….golden like him, golden like The Golden Boy.

After a few hours after the event, Viktor as always, was in the lab. Focusing only on the hexcore. At least, he was trying to. He let a sudden small groan and rested his head on his hand as he covered his forehead, pulling his hairs back

"pull it together Viktor.."

He said under his breath. Even after a couple of hours he could not forget what Jayce said,

"okay to be selfish sometimes, y'know?"

It echoed, which irritated him. Yet it made his cheeks feel a sudden warmth every time he thought of Jayce's powerful yet smooth voice.

"Not for me it's not, of course you wouldn't understand anything. Being selfish is an arrogant and dishonest way of living. You wouldn't understand one bit."

Viktor said, remembering how often Jayce tended to speak his mind without thinking. what was he so serious about? Even he wasn't sure.

All of this was new for him since he had always focused on the future and it revolted him being stuck, not being able to…move on, even from something as small as a sentence or question. Viktor had been feeling different about Jayce ever since they were inseparable during the time of the creation of The Hexgates. He missed those times, yet he hated lingering in the past, it made him feel as if he wasn't progressing in some way. It's the first time Viktor wasn't sure about what he feels, thinks, or does. He just can't figure out what it is he wants with Jayce, although, he had a feeling deep down about what it could be, but he hated considering it. It made him afraid in some way.

All this lingering in his head lead him to feel a sudden sadness from deep down, a gut feeling was forming inside of him as his critical side has rised, Viktor began to think back on the old days, the past. Viktors young days growing up in Zaun lead him to believe that he was somewhat disgusting to look at. A poor, crippled from The Undercity. People never got near Viktor growing up because of the limp on his leg, pitying him. Revolting him. So why would he ever have a chance with The Golden Boy? He thought as irritation became a bit of embarrassment.

As much as he came up with solutions and answers due to him always considering every posible opportunity or way to resolve something, he began to feel a slight warmth every time he considered Jayce feeling something like that towards him, being more than friends. Even though he's not from a House or has money. He had only considered Jayce feelings about this once or twice due to him realizing Jayce became more "physical " with Viktor. Viktor was used to getting pats in the back here and there, shoulder-wrapping and what-not…but Jayce had crossed and brushed Viktors hands more than once during the time of building and helping with the Hexgates. He had hugged Viktor from the back multiple times for a short amount of time, but in a more of a…."I'm going to scare you!" way.

Jayce was and has always been the teaser kind of guy. He was more on the sentimental edge.

Viktor hadn't cared before of Jayce's sentimentality, he thought it was kind of sweet at times. But sometimes Jayce was too hyper for Viktor. A part of Jayce always wanted his attention, Jayce always had doe eyes when speaking his heart out and rambling without stop to Viktor, Jayce looked over to Viktor when he wanted an answer or an opinion, it was always given.

All of these thoughts made Viktor get lost in a trance. He hadn't realized Jayce was in the room after a couple of minutes, well, more than a couple. Viktor had the habit of thinking alone for too long which leads him to believe he thinks for maybe a minute or two.

A voice chants in the back of Viktors head silently,

"Viktor? Viktor you there?"

Viktor suddenly felt a big hand crawl up his shoulder, it made him shiver cold, snapping him back to reality.

"Earth to Viktorrr...helloo?"

Jayce teased once more.

"Mm. Yeah?"

Viktor replied shortly as he notices Jayce leans on the wall-stuck desk.

"Vik what's wrong? You've been acting differently today. C'mon, you know you can talk to me."

Jayce said as Viktor lifted his head up and sat straight, peering at Jayce with a softened gaze.

Viktor wanted to tell Jayce what he felt, he urged to. But he can't. He must not.

"How would you react, if by speaking about something so egotistical, like an impulse of emotions you ruin something special to you..?"

Viktor spoke, as he realized himself in that very moment that Jayce was way more important to him. Jayce looking more intrigued as if he urged to help Viktor as he realized he began to trust him with such importance. A sense of warmth ran through Jayce due to feeling so important to his friend, his "best friend."

The young councilor grabs a chair and sets it next to Viktors, facing him. And only him. Viktor glances over at Jayce's shoes, being too frightened by the thought of looking at his mesmerizing and soothing eyes.

"Well, it's worth the risk in my opinion. As frightening as it may be to you or someone else, ya wouldn't be drowning in desperation. Invalidating your emotions won't resolve anythin'."

They sit there in silence, a silence so hollow it feels eternal. Viktor interrupts that silence,

"Even when..what you feel is something as naive as a selfish desire?"

Jayce grabs onto Viktors hand, cupping it between his big, strong hands. Viktors heart flutters as a shiver runs down his neck, he looks at Jayce in surprise.

"Viktor,"

Jayce's voice and eyes soften, as if he were scared to shatter Viktor with his voice like a wine glass in an opera.

"It's okay to be selfish, y'know? No matter what it is..even if it scares you..,"

Jayce said as he began to rub Viktors back hand with his thumb gently.

Jayce carried on,

"- it doesn't make you a bad person to open up, your feelings aren't something to play around with. You could even end up caving in. Viktor..even if it ruins something special to you, sooner or later your bubbles gonna burst. Don't hold it in."

Viktor notices as Jayce's eyes form a sadden but hidden look. Viktor knows Jayce too well, his most hated assumption comes to his head as Jayce developed that look on his face. He hated how selfish he felt. He snaps back to reality as he realizes Jayce is now standing up and getting ready for another busy day as a councilor.

"Vik, it's okay to act selfish. You're not a robot dummy."

Jayce teased to break the hallow atmosphere as he began to leave, letting go of Viktors hand. Viktor desired to hold his hand longer, but he knew he couldn't. He shouldn't.

"We can continue speaking about this later Vik, just remember what I said. I've got a meeting to run off to."

he said as he left. This saddened Viktor.

"Of course he did, if he had to leave, they all do."

Viktor thought, as he said,

"No. It's not okay. Not for me at least. I can't lose you..not you. Even if we must remain as nothing more."

The young man said in that empty, and quiet laboratory. Alone, yet again.