Through Your Eyes
By YunCyn

Disclaimer: Get backers belong to Yuya Aoki and Rando Ayamine.

A/N: Based on GB vol. 22 (I think).

.

"How long has she been like this?"

"…almost two weeks. This can't go on."

"Yet we do nothing."

"Do you think we can do anything? Anything that would lessen her pain?"

"…"

"…she hasn't played at all ever since… that incident. She hasn't cried either."

"Cried?"

"It is only when you cry that you accept the pain… the truth. Only when you feel it, do you really begin to heal."

A slow nod of agreement. "…we have to do something. He wouldn't want her like this."

Fuchoin Kazuki released a small, deep sigh as his kind brown eyes looked on. Behind him, Kakkei Juubei stood tall and grim. Beside him was Haruki Emishi, his jovial expression now in one of sympathy and sadness.

"…have Ginji and Ban any ideas?"

Juubei's low tone emerged. "They came yesterday but still couldn't find any words to say. None of us can."

Emishi felt his heart break for the figure beneath the tree, accompanied by only her dog. The other animals had disappeared. Where and when, no one knew but they didn't blame the wildlife. There was nothing for them here now that he was no longer around.

Although it was the first time he had seen the one called Otowa Madoka, Emishi had heard Shido mention her many, many times. With nothing but fondness, love and a small smile that Emishi delighted in teasing.

Kazuki could still remember that day Shido was laid in earth. Tears had streamed down most of their faces that sad, gloomy day.

MakubeX, having heard the news, came out of Mugenjou to attend the funeral. Sakura was left in charge. No excuses, no questions... no thought of responsibility as king. He be damned if he were denied his last chance to pay his respects to a good friend. Three of the kings held each other without qualm that day, weeping in grief. No one said a word for they were trying not to cry even more than they already had. Those who didn't, like Ban, Juubei and Himiko had their reasons.

But even the blue eyed dakkanya whom he had been at loggerheads with from day one, agreed that the beast master had been one heck of a guy. Juubei held his emotions within as was his nature; he hadn't been close to Shido but still felt his spirits drop to lose a great fellow warrior. Kudo Himiko who hadn't known the beast master well but came in respect anyway, had said something he would remember for a long time to come..

"…I wish I could cry. Then I would have known him better because… I can see, from your faces… he meant a lot to you."

With the tears, Kazuki was aware most of them had accepted Shido's death. But when he looked at Madoka…

He wished she would cry as well.

Kazuki shook his head, locks of long hair swaying. He'd been there when she first awoke after hours of unconsciousness. Somehow... she knew Shido was lost to them. No one had said anything, not knowing what to say. But she knew. The only words she had said had been,

"He's gone... isn't he?"

The silence spoke for them and she said nothing more.

The thread weaver still recalled the way she had hung on so tightly to Natsumi's hand at the funeral, how silent she had been, never saying a single word throughout the whole ceremony.

Kazuki had thought that perhaps, when she was alone, then would she weep. But no, there were no tears for the young violinist even as she remained at Shido's grave for the entire day, only following Natsumi and Ginji as the sun set.

Now as they stood a little way from Madoka as she sat under the old tree, their tree, Kazuki could only watch. It was by unspoken but unanimous agreement that every single one of them, who had ever been friends or even bickering rivals with Fuyuki Shido, would protect Otowa Madoka with their lives. They owed that much to him to fulfill his promise to protect her all her life.

But how did one protect a person from something that came within? How could Kazuki shield her from the pain that broke her heart every day when she awoke to the reality that Shido-san wasn't there?

The sound of people approaching made him turn around.

The worried brown eyes of Ginji met his. There was no need for words as Kazuki shook his head.

Ginji flicked his focus onto Madoka and his shoulders drooped. Natsumi wrung her hands as Hevn grimaced. Ban, on the other hand, said nothing, only looking at Madoka with something akin to indifference. But Kazuki knew better now. Behind that wall was a heart that worried just as much about Madoka as the rest of them.

For the past weeks now, she said little and ate little, worriedly reported the Otowa mansion's servants. And always, she would come out to the garden and sit by the tree until sunset. The violin was never touched, left idle in her bedroom. The servants had done all they could for their young mistress, trying to cheer her up, but nothing had worked. They implored Kazuki and the rest to try and do something, say something to bring her back to normal.

What could any of them say? Whatever words they thought of, was never comforting enough when they saw Madoka. Inside, they knew nothing they said would really help.

Shido was gone. And that was that.

Perhaps the only one who can find any true words to say…

Is you, Shido.

Kazuki raised his head to the sky.

Are you watching, Shido? Madoka-san hurts deeply yet we can do nothing. I know you must be unhappy about that.

Will you do nothing?

A voice broke through his silent communication with the dead. "…I can only think of one thing that might snap her out of this."

"Which is?" prompted Hevn as Kazuki looked at the others again.

He said nothing but Kazuki caught the flash of determination in his eyes.

The thread weaver smiled slightly.

"We're counting on you."

He nodded grimly.

The sound of grass being crunched closer and closer to her didn't bother Madoka. No sound bothered her anymore.

"Madoka."

Madoka didn't respond.

"Madoka. Look at me."

It didn't matter that she was blind. She wouldn't raise her head.

"Madoka."

The firmness and steel in the tone reminded Madoka of Shido somehow. He would employ such a tone when it really mattered. But never around her. Around her… he was rather soft spoken, trying not to be as crass as he was outside, a little clumsy….

Shido-san.

At that precise moment, the violinist felt her heart race. A familiar feeling surged through her blood, reaching her mind. Her entire body froze and only her head responded as it looked up.

It… couldn't be…

"Madoka."

The insistence, the worry in that tone… her heart drummed faster in an old beat she knew so well.

A beat that only occurred when he was near.

How… how…?

"Madoka, can you hear me?"

"Sh…Shido-san?"

Relief was apparent in his voice. "Aa."

Her hands, trembling with fear and trepidation, slowly regained feeling and reached out on its own.

And was met with the feel of rough, chapped hands that had been engrained in her heart and mind forever.

With the unsteadiness of someone trying to do everything very quickly and all at once, Madoka got up and tripped in her hurry.

But was instantly caught in the tough sinews of arms she knew so well. She could feel the material of his vest and shirt beneath her cheek. She could recognize the shape of his torso beneath the skin of her arms. She could hear the strong, steady beat of his heart. She could smell his scent of the outdoors, the woods and the denizens of nature that made him, him.

It was Shido.

How, she didn't know; even if she was well aware he had been taken away. She didn't want to know. She didn't care.

It was him.

And that was all that mattered.

She refused to let him go but he made no such request anyway. His protective arms surrounded her tightly, holding her close to him. She could feel him take in deep breaths as he hugged her.

After a silence that said a million things, she heard him ask in hushed tones, so unlike his normal voice.

"…how've you been?"

How had she been?

Madoka wanted to answer that she had missed him more than she could bear. She wanted to tell him that she thought it so harsh a twist of fate that he was gone forever. She wanted to tell him that without him, she felt like a shell without anything inside.

Instead, all that would emerge were tears. She could only and suddenly, just cry without noise into his shirt. Her back heaved up and down as ragged breaths disintegrated her words. Her fingers clutched the fabric of his vest so hard she thought it might tear. But it was as strong as the man who wore it.

The arms surrounded her even tighter, and he soothed her, using indistinct murmurs. But she shook her head in refusal to accept comfort and continued to cry, pouring out the pain that had been boiling within all this time.

It was as if Shido could read her mind as he murmured, regret and sorrow in his voice. "…I… I'm sorry…"

She didn't reply immediately. She regained her breath slowly and calmed just enough to let her brokenly whisper through the torrents of tears that were streaming down her normally brave, calm facade.

"How...?"

"...I guess... I never got a chance to say goodbye."

Goodbye. A word she had never dared to think she would say to him... or from him to her. It had always been "See you later" or "I'll be back."

Never "goodbye".

Her heart constricted in agony to continue asking before he faded away. If this was a dream, then at least before she woke up. "...why..."

Why did he leave her like this? Why did he have to go to a place where she couldn't follow? Why did he have to leave her when she had fallen so deeply for him?

His voice caught in his throat as he fought for the words to explain. "…I don't know. I wish I knew… I wish there had been a different choice… but there wasn't. So I chose."

A flame of anger, so rarely ignited in gentle Madoka, suddenly arose and was fueled by her loss. She knew it was unfair to him but damn him, why did it have to be this way! "And leave me here without you? Without taking me with you! How could you be so cruel...! How could you...!"

Her anger was met with silence. Hot tears continued to pour down as she clung to him, letting the anger burn and then die away quietly as if doused by a sprinkling of snowflakes. The silence was infused with her sorrow of losing him... and his sorrow of losing her.

"I wish I could have stayed..." He said finally, his voice lowered to something just above a whisper. "But there was no other way. I didn't want you to leave me… I couldn't take that chance."

Madoka's fingers clenched the fabric of his vest so hard that it hurt her knuckles. "…then why… why couldn't I have heard you… why did I have to be asleep when… when you… you…"

She couldn't bring herself to say it. This time, full blown sobs rang out as she buried herself into his shirt. His hand touched the back of her head, smoothing down her hair, back and forth. When the sobs quieted a little, he answered, in a low tone.

"So you wouldn't have to hear me die… I wanted you to remember me the way I was… when I was alive. I want to stay the Shido you knew… and loved."

Madoka's knees couldn't take much more. She released Shido's shirt and started to sink but again, he caught her before she hit the ground. Like a mother would a crying child, he held her close on his lap as she leaned against him, her sobs receding back into streaming tears. Once more, she buried her face in his chest, clutching his shirt.

She couldn't blame him. She could blame no one. She wasn't the type to bear hatred against anyone...

So all she could do was let her tears flow freely.

Why she hadn't cried at his funeral... why she hadn't cried at all since discovering he was dead... she didn't know herself. Maybe, ironically, she couldn't accept it until she heard it from his own lips.

Her ragged breathing soon faded to even takes of breath. There were no tears left to cry. She remained like that, in Shido's arms, in complete silence for what seemed to Madoka, a very long time. And she didn't want it to end.

"…this is so unfair," she finally said.

She felt a small rumble in his chest, a soft, bitter laugh. "Life always is."

There was more silence for a little while, as she felt his gentle fingers wipe away the tears from her cheeks.

"…I wish we could stay like this. Forever."

"…so do I." answered Shido with great sadness. "But we can't… I have to go soon… and you have to live."

Madoka's heart swelled with dull pain. "…I don't know if I can."

"You can. And you will." The insistence in his voice was strong and firm. "You have to go on to be a famous musician… you have to continue to change people with your music."

She could feel him smile a little as he continued.

"Like you changed me."

There was more silence as Madoka closed her unseeing eyes and etched every feel of her Shido-san once more into her heart.

Her hands reached once more for his and once again, she felt her hand being grasped. She gripped his firmly.

"I'll try, Shido-san… I'll try."

Her hand was gripped back. She felt her forehead being kissed.

And then, slightly chapped lips pressed against her own.

Her slender arms surrounded his neck and she felt his arms once again, encircle her waist. It was the kiss of two people who knew they wouldn't see each other again for a long time and they wanted to make sure they remembered every moment. Pushing every other thought away, she committed the kiss to memory, remembered the tenderness, remembered the way his lips felt… remembered him.

And when his warmth drew away, tears rolled down her cheeks one more time.

Her voice was strong enough to only whisper. "…sayonara."

"No. No sayonara." He squeezed her hand slightly.

"No matter what, I'm always with you."

And with that…

He was gone.

Madoka's hand slipped through air and she fell to the grass.

Ginji, Natsumi, Hevn, Kazuki, Juubei and Emishi looked on as Ban carried Madoka in his arms towards them. At his feet, Mozart followed quietly.

This had been what they saw from their distance. In the one minute after Ban had stared her in the eye, they had seen Madoka get up and stumble. As Ban caught her, she clung to him. Then Ban seemed to just sit there. As one minute ticked by, the dakkanya roused himself and got to his feet, carrying the girl. She was in exhausted sleep.

"Did it work?" asked Ginji anxiously.

Instead of a scathing answer, the blonde get backer received a strangely voiced reply. "In a way."

Everyone glanced at each other and then at Ban, wondering what had happened. Then, Juubei silently took a step forward and checked on Madoka. Upon the announcement that she was fine, the spell of quiet on the others broke.

"…how did you know the Jagan would work on Madoka-chan?" asked Natsumi.

Ban glanced at the exhausted Madoka and sighed. "The Jagan, though it uses eye-to-eye contact, is not about eyesight. It's about your mind… your heart."

"…so… did you give her a dream…?" ventured Kazuki gently.

"…" Ban smiled slightly. "Would you believe… no."

"…how come?" asked Hevn, eyes wide.

Ban had a strange, tiny smile on his face. "…Coz', it looks like Monkey Boy decided to come and visit."

The blonde mediator tilted her head slightly. "He possessed you?"

Ban shook his head. "More like, he used the Jagan as an entrance to meet Otowa one last time."

"…did you see what happened?"

Ban had already started walking towards the house. The smile grew a little wider.

"Let's just say that Monkey Boy's not gone. Not by a long shot."

Eyes went wide as they followed Ban's glance over his shoulder at the tree behind them. From the bushes emerged a small rabbit. Some birds fluttering to roost on the boughs soon followed it. As they watched, more animals arrived. The lion that no one could guess where it came from also emerged and settled down by the tree.

Kazuki had to smile. As the others trailed after Ban back into the house, he looked to the sky again.

Not by a long shot, eh?

The lion growled, as if on cue and Kazuki chuckled.

Nice to know you're still with us… Shido.

A young woman had her eyes closed, listening intently to the melody of the string instrument she played. A gentle smile played on her lips. The morning breeze played with her long, dark locks, making them dance and sway in mid air. Her skirt blew gently around her knees.

All around her, both human and animal alike listened to the sweet sound. Birds twittered in accompaniment as the other less musically inclined animals looked up with fondness for the young woman. Her human friends smiled amongst themselves, watching her perform.

Around the wrist of the hand that held the violin was a brown cloth, tied in a simple knot with two long, trailing ends. A reminder that he was always in her heart so he would never really leave.

He was a man of his word. He had said he would always protect her, as long as she lived.

And Madoka knew he meant it.

For as the music ended and she opened her eyes, she thought she could see the ghostly figure of a beast master, a small smile on his lips.

Madoka smiled back, knowing what he was saying to her.

No matter what, I'm always with you.

The End.

A/N: Best read with "Broken" by Seether featuring Amy Lee in the background. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.