Disclaimer:Not mine. All JK Rowling's.

A/N:I'm afraid this thank yous are quick ones this time. I thought I might as well put this chapter up before I have to go to the building of evil that is known as work. D.S, T'Lorie, STARINA69, SemiCharmed, elizabth (you're the sweetest), Midnight Lilly, sarcastic, allana, CharmedLeoLvr, MiSSxMELON, hotskittles, SnapeSeraphin, and lyckan. Thank you all so much for reviewing, it really means a lot to me. Also, be warned that in my hurry to get this chapter up I haven't checked my grammar and spelling. I can honestly say I wasn't being lazy this time. Tell me what you think of this one as it was one of those chapters that wouldn't work no matter what you did. Enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen

Christmas day flew by in a whirl of presents, shredded wrapping paper and turkey. Hermione threw herself into having a good time even though she felt dreadful inside. She missed her parents dreadfully after having such a near death experience and Lucius Malfoy wasn't helping matters for her. So with a fake smile, well masked pain and some pranks (courtesy of Fred and George), she exchanged her gifts with Harry and Ron and told them repeatedly that she was having a lovely day.

As the day was coming to an end, they were all in the living room, stuffed from all the food they had eaten. Mr and Mrs Weasley were sat on the couch, dozing against each other. Lupin was sat on a chair near one of the windows, reading, while Tonks had taken the last chair to the back of the room and was star gazing out of the other window. The twins, Bill and Charlie were in front of the fire, scaring everyone with a game of exploding snap. Harry and Ron were lying on their stomachs, next to the rebel group, with a chess board between them and watching Harry's knight punch the lights out of one of Ron's rooks. Hermione had taken to lying down herself with her head propped up on Ron's back, reading one of the books the twins had bought her. Only she wasn't reading it.

She had just gotten to the end of the first chapter when her thoughts suddenly jumped back to the pendant sitting in her room, under her pillow. She frowned at the thought as she had managed not to think about it since that morning. She tried to push it to the back of her mind but her train of thought carried on and wouldn't let allow her to stop it.

That was when it happened. It hit her like a thunder bolt. She did love Lucius Malfoy. Well that wasn't right. How had that happened and when? How had he done this to her? This wasn't normal love, though, and she could feel it. Normal love didn't come from hate and pain. This love was very wrong. She felt herself begin to hyperventilate. Not wanting anyone to notice or fuss over her, she got up.

"Night everyone." She said quickly as she left the room without a backward glance. She raced to her room and sunk against the door once it was closed. She hoped no one came up while she was like this. She didn't need anymore sympathy.

She tried desperately to regain control of her breathing while 'I love Lucius Malfoy' kept going round in her mind. Her heart suddenly ached for him to be there, to help calm her like he did in Flourish and Blotts. This man was old enough to be her father, her enemy, her kidnapper. What did she do now? Did she tell him how she felt? Or did she tell Dumbledore everything? Or did she continue to keep all her feelings and secrets to herself?

"This…….is……….wrong." She whispered to herself, hoping that it would stop her emotions dead in their tracks. It didn't, they just kept running through her body, her heart was in agony, her mind was fighting wildly against these strange feelings, and her breathing was becoming more difficult. 'Yet you still want these feelings. To have them and for Lucius to return them.' A voice in the back of her mind taunted. She shook her head as she crawled over to the bed and climbed onto it. She was starting to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen. There was a knock at the door. She managed to beckon with great difficulty.

"Are you okay dear?" Mrs Weasley asked as she came in and closed the door behind her. Hermione shook her head frantically as she curled into the foetal position. She tried to say something but nothing would come out. Mrs Weasley raced over to the bed and pulled Hermione up into a sitting position. "Take one deep breath." She shook her head; her body wouldn't permit her to do as she was instructed. "Come on, you can do it." The older woman urged. "Concentrate on me and then breathe in." She finally managed that deep breath as she concentrated on a pattern on Mrs Weasley's jumper. "Now hold it for as long as you can." She had to do it a few times before her breathing started to slow into a steady pace. "Has this happened before?"

"Once. It was when we went shopping." She told her as she lay back down, exhausted.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry. I've caused enough worry over the past couple of months." Mrs Weasley stroked her head as she spoke. It was horrible feeling so useless. She wanted to help her but wasn't sure how.

"After everything you have been through…." Tears were forming in Mrs Weasley's eyes. "I'm sorry." She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief that she had produced from her sleeve. "I see you as one of my own and it's a mother's job to worry constantly about her children. I'm always going to worry about you. Even when you are completely safe I worry." Hermione smiled at her, thankful for her mothering nature. "If you ever need to tell me anything, I'm there for you. I will never say anything unless you want me to." The young woman frowned. "Nothing gets past me, Hermione. I can see the hurt and pain in your eyes." She kissed the top of her head and got up. "You know where I am." And she turned to leave.

"Mrs Weasley?" She turned back round. "There is something that I need help with."

Lucius sat in front of the fireplace in his living room, drinking the strongest drink he had in the house. He had spent the day at a relative's at Draco's insistence. It was clear that he missed his mother dearly and spending time with family eased the pain for him. Draco was not as strong as him but he found himself glad of that. He was actually wishing that his mother had loved him as much as Narcissa had loved him and Draco. Maybe it would have made these feelings easy to cope with had he had more love throughout his life.

He clicked his fingers for the lights to go out, making the fireplace the only source of light in the room. It made the furniture around him cast eerie shadows that danced across the room. His thoughts were of the enchanting young lady that had captured his once cold heart. He was going to get himself caught with the Dark Lord if he continued to just let his mind wandered. Luckily for him, Voldemort had disappeared to America. He had a plan and needed every Death Eater he could find. Lucius wasn't sure what they were yet and was glad he didn't.

For the first time in his life, he wanted nothing to do with his master. Life was getting too complicated and it was thanks to him. He had loved nothing more than to follow the commands of the world's most powerful wizard and come home to his wife and son at the end of the day. But the moment Narcissa had died at the Dark Lord's hand, that was when it started to go wrong for him.

He should be thankful really for everything his master had done. He had brought this wonderful creature into his life. He had felt this wonderful feeling for the first time; he felt wanted. Nothing he did could stop his emotions. No matter how hard he fought to despise her and push his feelings back down, he still felt drawn to her. But what to do now? Could he stand by and forget everything he felt? Or did he have the strength to persuade her to be his? Did he have the ability to forget his beliefs? The very same beliefs that he had been raised on, the same ones he believed in fully and had instilled them into his son. The beliefs that muggle born witches and wizards were filth, that they should be nothing more than servants and the privilege of magic taken away from them. That no mudblood should mix with a pureblood in friendship or anything else. Could he leave all that behind and hope she could too?

"Hello, Lucius." A cold voice spoke behind him. "Feeling sorry for yourself?"

"Go away, Severus. If you want to talk then you should have done it at the party. Now please just leave me with my self pity." Snape, however, proceeded to move over to the chair next to Lucius. "Do I have to throw you out?" He spat at him.

"Your thoughts are practically screaming out to anyone who walks by." Snape spoke coolly while watching the dancing flames. "No wonder you silenced the classroom when you paid a visit to Miss Granger."

"I've known you for a very long time. You never could resist listening in on people's conversations, so do you really blame me?" Lucius spoke in a flat tone. "Why are you here, Severus?"

"This is concerning your little visit. What were you playing at? I may not have been involved in this plan but it was quite clear on the girl's face where she had been and who had had her." Snape spoke in a calm tone, almost as though he was simply commenting on the weather.

"This is none of your concern." Lucius took a long gulp of his drink.

"It is when she managed to escape and has the ability to tell Dumbledore that you had her. But it seems something more went on than just the Dark Lord's plans." Lucius gave him a steely stare.

"What are you implying?"

"You know you're going to get yourself killed if you continue down this path." He ignored Snape and looked back towards the fireplace. "My, she really has gotten to you, hasn't she?" His face twisted into a smile. So this was why she was protecting him. There was silence between them while they observed the fire. Finally Snape spoke up just as Lucius was ready to tell him to get out. "He plans to attack Hogwarts."

"Has he gone mad? Dumbledore may be an old fool but he has never been able to gain power over him." Lucius' steady state of drunkenness had suddenly disappeared and he was now stone cold sober.

"He doesn't like the fact that a mudblood managed to outsmart him and one of his followers. He wants revenge and what better way to do it than an attack on the school and wipe out the rest of the filth while he's at it." Snape kept his face cold but he was panicked. He had told Dumbledore the plan as soon as Voldemort had spoken to him about it. How were they going to protect the students?

"Why wasn't I involved in this?" He snapped.

"Because you let her escape. You have lost his trust….for now." Lucius was worried. How could he protect her now? There was no way he had the power to stop an attack this size. "However, I'm here to extend an olive branch to you." He frowned at the greasy haired professor. Snape slowly turned to eye him up. "How do you feel about her?"

"What do you mean 'what do I feel for her'?" He wanted to be angry at his assumption yet he wasn't. He felt relieved that someone knew.

"Stop playing the fool, Lucius. It's not becoming of you." Snape kept his firm glare upon him. This had to work, Dumbledore was sure of it. Lucius' face began to soften. With a flick of his wand, he closed all doors to the room and silenced it, should Draco wake up and pay a visit downstairs.

"She's the same age as my son yet I love her more than I could have loved Narcissa." He said in one breath but somehow managing to keep his icy drawl. "I should be repulsed by her but I'm not." He suddenly eyed Snape up. "I don't know why I'm telling you this. Since when has a Death Eater been worthy enough to keep a secret?"

"You'd be amazed." Snape scowled. "I need your complete trust and faith to keep my secret now. Do this and you should have no problem pursuing the girl."

"Why are you doing this, Severus? We've never been the best of friends and the Dark Lord has never really trusted you. So why should I?"

"Are you willing to do anything for Hermione Granger or not?" Snape's voice was beginning to rise in volume.

"The real question, Severus, is would it be worth doing anything for her? She may reject me just like Ner-" Snape raised an eyebrow. "It doesn't matter."

"Are you willing to take the risk?" Lucius watched the shadows flicker across the ceiling for a few minutes.

"What are you not telling me?" He finally asked the potions master.