Disclaimer:Not mine....blah blah blah.
A/N: On with my thank yous:-). mysticdarkraven - Was this soon enough for you?:-) MiSSxMELON - You really have faith in my writing, don't you? Well, you're advice really helped actually. I think I've managed to keep him in character but still show he loves Hermione in future chapters. Where would I be without you?:-) Admirer - Thank you for reading this fan fic. I hope you enjoy this chapter. SemiCharmed - I hope you like this chapter. I also wouldn't mind reading your fan fic but when I searched for it, nothing was found, and you sign annonymously, so I can't get your profile either. Send me the link....pretty please.:-) Midnight Lilly - Yes, you're right. He has some hard work ahead. The Mad Madame- We'll soon be seeing if Lucius can be an effective spy....but not just yet.;-) Thanks for reviewing. CharmedLeoLvr - I'm glad you liked my OOC Lucius. I hope you like the rest of the story. ebony ink - Yes, love does strange things to people. Hope you like this chapter. sarcastic - Yes he will notice changes....or will he? You'll have to keep reading to find out.:-) SnapeSeraphin - Be patient with me, my child.....just like I have to be patient with your fan fic.:-) I'm working on those moments, let's hope this chapter is enough to satiate your appetite for a little while. hotskittles - An update at your service. Super - I wish I had your determination to review everyone's stories. I'll have to take a leaf out of your book and sort myself out.:-) T'Lorie - So many questions you ask, but all will be answered in time.:-) allana - How dare he, the jerk! Give him a good kick up the arse from me. I'm glad my story made you feel a little better. Hope you like this chapter. Dragonmaster Kurai - I've updated:-). Also, did you get my email?
I'm always shocked when I get all these reviews....a big thank you to you all. Again, not checked my grammar or spelling....what can I say....I really am THAT lazy. Well, just a word of warning, I believe this chapter to be quite boring but it had to happen. READ ON!
Chapter Twenty-One
Lucius didn't receive a warm welcome from anyone off the Order, and that was without telling them everything he had done to Hermione or the feelings they had for each other. But it suited him just fine, he wasn't there to be warm and make friends with people he didn't want to be friends with. He was there for Hermione and her safety. And if that meant switching sides and forgetting his beliefs, then so be it.
Dumbledore had also come to the decision that Hermione was ready to join the Order. It was a decision he hadn't made lightly and had debated strongly with himself if it was the right one. She had been through so much and grown up far too quickly, but she was nearly out of school and she wanted to desperately help. He had also decided, with Mrs Weasley's approval, that it was time Harry and Ron joined too. However, they would only be able to join once Hermione had told them about Lucius. This was Dumbledore's mischievous way of hurrying her up on informing them on the turn of events.
A meeting was held once a week in Dumbledore's office with whoever could make it from the Order. It was usually only six or seven members, with Hermione and Lucius being the regulars, as the rest were out on missions or it was too risky for them to go. They had to make the meetings inconspicuous, so that meant that people who didn't visit the school often only had to come to them once in a while. Just like the rest of the Death Eaters, Lucius had a knack for hiding in the shadows so that no one noticed him, and this was a great help getting him to the meetings every week.
Snape would sometimes manage to make the meetings with new information on the attack, which would then send the meeting into a flurry to swiftly adapt the preparations they had already made to protect the school. Lucius was starting to feel useless as time went on. The Order wouldn't allow him to help on missions they were already on and the Dark Lord still hadn't called for him, which meant he couldn't begin to show what he was willing to do for Hermione. He hated sitting around and talking about what they were going to do; he wanted to be out there putting actions to these plans.
Hermione and Lucius hadn't pursued their relationship in any manner. They needed clear minds for what lay ahead of them. They hadn't spoke of it, but a silent agreement had come between them that nothing could happen until life seemed safer.
As January faded into February and then slowly into March, Hermione had decided she had delayed the inevitable for far too long. She took them to the Room of Requirement and found it filled with cushions.
"Lucius Malfoy was the one that kept me hostage." She told them before they had chance to get comfy.
"'Scuse me?" Ron queried with a confused look at Harry.
"You heard, Ron. Now sit down." She snapped. Her mind and heart were racing. This was going to be harder than she thought. The past few months started racing before her eyes while she tried to arrange her words into the right order. Mrs Weasley had only just begun to understand Hermione's feelings and the fact that Lucius was now part of the Order. What were her two impulsive friends going to be like? How long would it be before they were calm enough to get a rational conversation out of them? Her only hope was that chasing after Sirius nearly two years ago had taught Harry to at least think before he acted. There was no going back now; the deed had to be done.
"Why haven't you told the Ministry yet? He should be locked up after everything he did to you. Why did you keep this from us, Hermione? We're you're best friends." Harry was scowling as he spoke. She looked around and sat on the cushion behind her. Harry and Ron followed suit with expressions of irritation at the fact that Lucius Malfoy was still free. Hermione watched them while she tried to think about where to start.
"I don't expect you to understand or to accept what I'm going to tell you." She started. She suddenly felt tears sting her eyes. She moved to sit in front of them and took one of their hands in each of hers.
"Hermione, what's happened? Did he do more than you told us?" Harry questioned as he gripped her hand tightly. She shook her head whilst she tried to control the tears that were ready to spill over.
"I'm just scared about the future." A look went between her friends but she continued before they could say anything. "What I need is for you to trust some of the decisions that have been made." She told them miserably. She was truly putting all of her faith into them accepting the unthinkable. Harry frowned at her.
"How can we trust these decisions if we don't know what they are?" Harry asked.
"Because I trust them." She choked on a sob that escaped her throat. Why was she crying? She felt like giving up and forgetting about it. She wanted her life to go back to normal. Then her love for Lucius came to the front of her mind like a blinding headache. No, if he could join the Order for her, then she could tell her friends about him. And what's more; she would make them keep their word to not hand him over. "Do I have your trust?" Her voice was unsteady thanks to her sudden onset of tears.
"You're one of my best friends whom I love and adore. I would do anything for you and Harry. So if that means trusting these decisions, then I will." Ron told her while gently stroking her hair. She smiled in appreciation. She hadn't expected Ron to be as easy to win over. She turned her attention to Harry.
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" She shook her head. He glanced around the room for a few seconds and then slowly placed his gaze on Hermione. "You have my trust." He sighed reluctantly. She hugged them both and took a minute to steady her nerves.
"Lucius Malfoy has joined the Order."
"WHAT?!" Harry and Ron shouted in unison. They both went to stand up except Hermione pulled them straight back down.
"I need you to just listen." She ordered. "Voldemort plans to attack the school. He wants his revenge on me for escaping, he wants you dead, Harry, and while he's at it, he's going to wipe out the half blood and muggle born students." Both young men had looks of disbelief on their faces. Could Voldemort really be stupid enough to attack while Dumbledore was here? "Lucius joined the Order to protect me……..because I love him………and he loves me too." Harry blinked a few times, hoping that it would help his brain process this unbelievable new information. Ron had taken to ranting but his sentences were jumbled and no sense could be made out of them.
"Have you gone mad, Hermione? You can't possibly love Lucius Malfoy. He kidnapped you, beat you an-"
"Yes, I know, Harry. You can't possibly begin to understand the torment I have been through trying to reason with these feelings, but you don't choose who you fall in love with." She looked to Ron who was still ranting, only now he was pacing too, with the odd hand gesture thrown in.
"Voldemort now has an easy task of getting us now, you do realise that, don't you?" Harry rhetorically asked her with an unnerving calmness.
"No he hasn't. With Lucius on our side now, protecting ourselves from Voldemort's attacks will be easier." She tried to reason with him.
"Hermione, you're the one with the logical thinking, where's it gone?" Harry snapped, causing her to flinch. "Have they had the Imperius on you and we haven't realised?" That was it; Hermione's temper took control. She stood up quickly with Harry following her lead.
"SHUT UP, RON!" The red head instantly halted in his tracks and became silent at Hermione's command.
"A MALFOY CANNOT BE TRUSTED!" Harry shouted at her. "THIS SCHOOL MAY AS WELL BE HANDED OVER TO VOLDEMORT ON A SILVER PLATTER!"
"I didn't expect you to accept this. Even I'm just beginning to accept this. However, I'm your best friend and I had honestly thought you would at least just listen to me, but I was obviously wrong." She stormed to the door and paused for a second. "Dumbledore thinks you're ready to join the Order. Meetings are held every Tuesday in his office. I hope you'll be there." She told them while staring at the door handle. She waited a minute for a response, only she was greeted by silence. She shook her head as she raced out of the room. She wasn't about to justify her feelings to them when she couldn't do it for herself.
She kept running until she found herself at the library; her sanctuary. She quietly entered the large room and walked past all the busy tables with students frantically trying to finish their weekend homework for the next day. As she walked past all the bookshelves, she picked up a random book and picked a table that was hidden in the shadows under a window. She glanced outside to find the sky a crimson red from the setting sun. The library wouldn't be open for much longer. She sat down and began flicking through the pages, not really concentrating on the words.
"I was hoping you would come here." A familiar drawl spoke behind her. She turned to find Lucius stepping out from behind a bookshelf. She gasped when she saw him, shocked at the fact he was there for everyone to see. He was wearing all black with silver fastenings on his coat and cloak. No wonder it was easy for him to stay hidden in the shadows.
"What are you doing here?" She whispered as he sat on the chair beside her. She shifted round to face him. He had a smirk pasted across his face, the very same one she always saw on his son's pale face. She noticed that Lucius' features looked much more defined when he had his hair back. It took all her will power to not trace his jaw-line with her fingertips.
Lucius slowly took off his expensive looking gloves and hooked his cane on the back of his chair. He leant forward as he placed a hand on her knee. She blushed at his touch; she had always been embarrassed about contact like this.
"I had to speak to Draco and I thought I would take a detour." He whispered dangerously into her ear. She shuddered as his breath tickled her ear. She quickly looked round the library to check no one had noticed that he was there.
"You're timing couldn't have been better." She whispered sarcastically to him while she gave him a sharp look. He took one of her hands into both of his.
"I take it you have informed them." She nodded, feeling dejected about how they had reacted. He gently rubbed her tiny hand between his in comfort. "If they're as loyal as Draco tells me they are, then they'll understand." She half smiled at his effort to cheer her up. He wiped away the stray tear that started to trail down her cheek and gently stroked her hair. Suddenly remembering where she was, she quickly grabbed his hands and pulled them down to her lap. He laughed softly at her panic. "Potter and Weasley will have to become acquainted with the idea of me being the Order. I do not intend to go anywhere." His voice was quite cool as he said this.
"We'll just have to see if they come to the meeting on Tuesday." She looked down at their hands entwined on her lap. She liked that. It made her feel safe and secure, she hoped it would be like this after the attack. That was if they……no, she could think of it turning out like that. "Why have you risked taking this detour?" She asked as she looked back at him.
"This is what happens when you're in love; you want to spend every waking moment with the person you love. Only the circumstances at present won't allow me to do that. But I was here visiting Draco and I wanted to see you." She gave him a quick smile before letting go of his hands and turning back towards the table.
"And what if I hadn't come here?" She asked.
"Then I would have wasted my time and would look forward to the meeting even more." He watched her face for her emotions that she usually displayed so easily, except there was nothing there, apart from pain in her eyes. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine……I'm worried." She began turning the pages of the book without looking at what was on them. Lucius slowly took the book away from her reach. She searched the library once more to see if anyone was looking; they were too busy with their own lives to notice her.
"Look at me, Hermione." He whispered softly. She turned to his gaze and held his cold grey eyes with her warm brown ones. He took her hands back and she felt safe again. It amazed her how something simple as him holding her hand could do that. "You have nothing to worry about. I will protect, no matter what happens."
"I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about how things will turn out. I'm worried that people are always going to live in fear………and I'm worried that you'll betray my trust." She confessed sorrowfully to him. She saw hurt pass through his gaze. It was only there for a second as he could mask his feelings so well. An awkward silence past between them. She let go of his hands, instantly missing the contact she had with him, and studied her peers in the room. They were passing notes, trying to stifle a laugh from something they had been told, being told to be quiet from Madam Pince and whispering excitedly to each other once she was out of sight. They were blissfully ignorant about what was to come; Hermione longed for those days with Harry and Ron again.
"I know words aren't much use to you but they're all I have at the moment." He whispered, bringing her out of her reverie. She noticed that he hadn't managed to disguise the hurt in his voice. It sounded strange coming from him, his tone was usually cold and flat. "There's nothing else I can do."
"I'm sorry, I didn't…..I'm sorry." She got up and looked down at him. He stiffly held her gaze. She gently placed a hand on his cheek. "I love you." She whispered and as quick as her hand was touching his face, it was gone, along with her. A small smile played on his lips as he watched her leave.