Hey gang!! There is only going to be two posts this week. I have training to do which tends to get in the way of things. If I get a chance I'll post more. But, here's a bit of a tease and some shipperish moments to carry you guys through the week. ;)

Enjoy!

J.

AN: This one has 15 parts and the sequel, thus far, looks to have 10, but that can change as I add more and review.

Thanks to: XBlueShadowX, Aimee5, Charmboy4, starryeyes10, Nikki, dansingwolf, jag4ever, lei, Jackia, EternalSleep, Cristina, Tina Frank, achaon, Abigaile, Hieros Gamos, froggy0319, joanoa, JadeAlmasy, SpaceMan546, dansingwolf, carbygirl , JAGJenni, Manda, starryeyes, BiteBeccy, ng59678, LtColDevilDog, martini, mizukimarr, jtbwriter, Macaroon, Lissie, n.k, Lt.jgMegAustin, cbw, dansingwolf, Apion, alix33, jnp, MacHarm4Ever, Tania, Macaroon, harmfan, Jagnut, Claire Vincent, Navy Babeand anyone else I missed for the Feedback..

Part 12 – Chances

July 13, 2005
2301 Zulu
Mac's Apartment

Georgetown

"I'm home." Mac called softly as she headed into her apartment. The past week had been one wild ride. Things with Harm had been up and down. Occasionally, when he was awake he would beg her to help him, to give him the morphine that his body craved so much. Though it killed her to see him that way, she was vehement on giving in. Dr. Bishop had made daily visits to check up on Harm, giving him an anti-opiate medication that would help cleanse his body. Should Harm find a away to get his hands on another batch of morphine, the anti-opiate would prevent his body from getting the high he required. AJ, still feeling guilty for letting his people down, had spent a lot of time helping Mac out. He was unsure of what Harm was capable of and didn't want some similar attack to occur. He'd left early, but given Mac a call to advise that Harm was sleeping and would probably not wake until the late evening.

The last few days had been very painless, the medication seemed to be helping Harm and his outbursts had come down. Most of the day was spent sleeping. Mac barely had a chance to slip off her jacket when there was a knock on the door. She froze, suddenly worried at who it could be. Despite the fact that things had been relatively calm, Webb kept in contact with her over Harm's progression, each time mentioning how prudent it was that he talk to Harm. As much as the spook swore that he wouldn't do anything without getting to the bottom of things, Mac wasn't so sure.

Checking the peephole, Mac leaned against the door and cursed. "Shit. . . shit!" Quickly, she headed towards the bedroom and made sure Harm was still sleeping. "Please stay quiet." She said gently as she headed towards the front door.

"Colonel, ma'am." Before her stood Major Chris Steele. "The General asked me to drop this off, apparently you left it at the office." He handed her a file on a case they were jointly working on.

Mac took the file and smiled slightly. "Thank you, Major." As she went to close the door, Chris stopped her.

"Maybe we could work a bit more on the case? I mean I am already here. . . And I brought provisions." He waved a bag of Chinese food in front of her and smiled charmingly.

Apparently, at least to Mac, he was trying to put their issues behind them. Though it was admirable, she could only imagine what Chris would do if, somehow, he found Harm in her apartment. "I ah. . . actually, can I have a rain check? I have a really bad headache. All I want to do is go to sleep."

Chris had his own flyboyish type of smile which Mac was only slightly immune to. He was good looking and charming at times. No, she wasn't falling for him, but maybe warming up to another friend. "I see. . . Well, I'll leave the food. See you tomorrow at work."

Mac took the bag from him and smiled greatfully. "See you tomorrow."

When she closed the door, Chris turned and headed towards the stairs. "Damnit." He needed to get into that apartment, to make sure Rabb was never there. Things with him and Mac had been going slightly better, he was practically bending over backwards in order to get in hers and the General's good graces. As a result, he'd had another run in with Bud who seemed to be an immovable force when it came to Mac. Chris accused Bud of being in love with her, something which the Commander scoffed at. It didn't matter anyway, if needed, Chris would take care of Bud as well. He was hoping, for the sake of preventing people from snooping around, that it wouldn't come to that.

As he stepped into his Escalade, he flipped on a listening device, a clear, sticker like, undetectable object, that he had hidden on one of the cartons of food. It was capable of picking up any sound in that apartment. There was a rustling of the bag containing the food, a sound of plates and silverware being taken out of drawers and cabinets. He was taking a chance, but sometimes big things happened when you did.

Mac, still in uniform, took a bite out of the chicken lo mien, then let out a deep sigh. She would have to thank Chris for brining her some food. Placing the plate on the countertop she reached into the refrigerator to pull out a diet coke and took a long gulp. Frowning, thoughts of her and Harm sharing a meal together came to mind. The last time they'd done that was too long ago. "Please Harm, come back to me. . .I need you." Hugging herself, she leaned against the counter not even bothering to stop the tears that came. "I need to tell you that I'm in love with you."

Chris nearly dropped the water bottle that he was nursing in his car. "In love with him?" With a groan he pulled up the volume on the listening device and could hear the distinct sounds of someone crying. "Holy shit." It suddenly dawned on him just how close Harm and Mac had been. Then, there was a sound, one so loud it hurt his ears. "Ah!! What the hell?"

All of the food went into the garbage as Mac lost her appetite. Removing the bag, she headed out of her apartment and down the hall to the dumpster shute and heaved the bag into the hole. Across the street, Chris adjusted the knobs on all of his gadgets but finally realized that he could hear nothing else. Glancing up to Mac's apartment he saw her slim figure closing the blinds. "Damnit. . . Can't I get a break?" He slammed his fists into the steering wheel then angrily put the car in drive and headed off.

Mac locked the front door before heading into the bedroom. Harm was sprawled out on the bed, his body twitching from time to time. It was another dream, God how she wished they would go away. She grabbed fresh clothing from her dresser then headed into the bathroom. The warm water soothed her aching body and the therapeutic smell of the lavender bath gel helped relax her. Mac had closed her eyes when rinsing her hair and when she opened them, Harm was standing in front of her.

He was only wearing a smile, his body was covered with water droplets. It was one of the sexiest sights she'd ever seen. "Harm?" Reflexively, she covered herself up, well, as much as one can when they are in their birthday suit.

Harm's eyes, those sea-green eyes that she longed to drown in, were gazing hard into her. "I was feeling better, thought you could use some help." He said with a husky voice.

Mac's lips crushed onto his own, giving into the want she'd had for so many years. But, as the hot water began ruining out, she found herself alone. He'd never been with her, it was just a daydream. Her fingers touched her lips and the memories of that kiss from her engagement party danced behind her closed eyelids. It was wrong then, but why did it feel so right? Never had she been kissed with such passion. She shook her head to rid herself of the image. "Get a grip, Marine."

After dressing, she headed out of the bathroom, towel drying her hair. "Hey." His voice startled her. Just in case, she opened and closed her eyes, making sure this wasn't another fantasy.

"Hey, how you feeling?" Cautiously, she rounded the bed, walking over to his side. "Are you hungry?"

Harm stretched out, wincing as his body protested the movements. "No, just tired."

"I'll let you sleep then."

As Mac motioned to leave the room, Harm sat up straighter in the bed. "No. . . please stay. . ." He pleaded. Harm was relieved when she came and sat on the edge of the bed, turning so that she could look at him. Mac ran her hand over his forehead, he wasn't feverish. There were so many things he needed to tell her, but he wasn't too sure he could find the words. He glanced around the room noting, that the nighttime had snuck up on him. It was then that he realized, he wasn't even sure what day it was. "What. . . what day is it?"

"July 13th." Mac was concerned for him. Harm was never the type to be so out of it, even when he was injured. "Harm, what is it?" She asked when she noted the sad look in his eyes.

So many things had been taken away from him; his pride, his dignity, but what Harm missed the most was time. He'd sadly mused about their timing once or twice, never really grasping the gist of it all. Well, he understood it now when he was forcefully taken away. "I missed your birthday."

The look on his face was amusing. Harm looked like a little boy who had hurt his best friend. She chuckled slightly, then placed a hand on his forearm to assure him that things aren't as bad as his mind was letting him believe. "You arrived the day of my birthday, Harm. . .It's the best present I've ever received."

Harm wouldn't know because his mind was picking and choosing which details from his past he was to remember. Unfortunately, most of the details had to do with his capture. He vaguely remembered talking to her at all. His eyes traveled down to her hand on his forearm. Such acts were becoming a staple of their relationship. It was all about taking those itty bitty breadcrumbs so that he could survive just being friends with her. He craved more physical contact and not necessarily of the sexual kind but the types between good friends. For the first time in so long, the silence in the room didn't threaten to overwhelm them. He'd never felt so safe before. "You have no idea how priceless it is to actually know what day it is, Mac." He finally said, raising his head so the could look into her eyes.

"You're still having nightmares? Of course you are, stupid question." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. Out of the many things she could have said and she had to bring up nightmares.

He nodded. "I. . . I wished I had your timing. . .Just to know what time it was would have made all the difference in the world." She tried to interrupt him, hoping to save both herself and him from that part of his life. "I missed you, you know? More than I ever thought I could miss someone. . .The times I allowed myself to think about you. . .I kept thinking of things we've missed out on."

"Harm. . .we'll talk about this another time."

"Why'd you go to Webb? I saved you. . .I went down there for you. . .why?"

The suddenness of the question momentarily shut Mac down. After Paraguay, when Harm was off playing spook and even when she and Webb were 'official' that question still plagued her. In movies, in books, even in legends, it was unorthodox for the damsel to chose anyone but the man who saved her. There were exceptions, of course, and apparently she and Harm were added to that exception. "I don't know. . .I wanted you to walk on in there with that stupid hero complex of yours and. . . Damnit you didn't even hug me or say anything. . . You were upset when I left, I thought it was because you. . cared for me, more than just a friend. . .But we were both so. . .God I can't even put it into words."

Harm nodded. Replaying that memory back in his head, she was right, they treated each other like acquaintances. "I was worried we'd get killed, which is why I wasn't very friendly with you. . .and I am sorry."

"Webb and I, took some time to develop. . .A lot of time, actually." She said with a sigh as she worked her way to admitting something even she was keeping from herself. "It was only dinners and a few moments here and there until Sadik happened. . . after that, I needed to FEEL something. . . And he was there, only. . . he wasn't there. . ." If there could be one word to classify her whole relationship with Clayton Webb, it would be: pointless. It wasn't an experience that she'd learned from, she didn't take anything. In the process, she'd managed to lose herself and her best friend. It's still a miracle to her how they'd been able to bury the hatchet, so to speak, and be back on friendly terms. "The reason why I stayed so long was because I thought I didn't have anywhere to go. . .You were with Mattie, being the father she needed and I. . .I-I thought you were losing interest in me."

Harm knew he was right about that assessment, he could see it in her eyes whenever he spoke about Mattie. There seemed to be a resentment or maybe even a jealousy which came out when she was dealing with PTSD. "I could never lose interest in you. . .I tried. Even thought I'd managed to erase you from my mind until that day you came to me because of the Imes debacle."

"I missed you. . . a lot. I'm sorry I was too proud to admit any of that."

"You're not the only one sorry, Mac. . ." They spent a few long minutes just staring at each other, both musing how that had been happening a lot lately. The sound of Harm's stomach growling broke the silence.

Mac laughed. "On the way home I stopped to buy some ingredients to make a chicken soup. It's one of the things I can actually thank mom for. She used to make a mean chicken soup."

Harm's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "You can cook?"

Mac gave him a poignant glare. "You know I can cook, Harm. And even my worst concoctions taste better than you meatless meatloaf." He chuckled at that. Throughout the years she still hadn't let him off the hook over the meatless meatloaf.

"Hey don't forget that solved our case." He chuckled as well, wincing as his head pounded from the exertion. "When you bring the soup, can you bring an aspirin or two?"

"Not a problem." With a smile, she pulled the covers tightly around him then leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Rest, Commander. That's an order."

"Aye, aye, Ma'am." He joked back. Glancing to the side he saw a picture of him and Mac taken when they were in Afghanistan. The whole thing was one of the worst experiences of their lives, but it was enjoyable. It was fun to be out there with her, sharing body heat, protecting each other. Body heat – God how he wanted that night to last. It was the second time he'd held her close in hopes of keeping warm. The other, was during their tête-à-tête with deranged hillbillies. Both times, he reveled in the feel of her in his arms, her breathing even with his, the warmth of her breath on his cheek. He'd move Heaven and Earth in order to be there again but under different circumstances. He'd give his all for the chance to make her his.

--

Nikki – I could see Bud getting all in someone's face about those he cares about. Temir is not as sexish as Sadik, just well groomed. LOL!

Navy Babe – Ummm depends on what your idea of a good bang is. Damn that sounds suuuper sick. It'll be a cliffhanger so it'll be a bad bang for most. ;)

Joanoa – All the spooks die? But not all are bad. . . well. . . Ummm nevermind. ;)

Tina Frank – Mac is going to injure a certain place that men have problems being uh. . .injured at. He is going to ask for it, big time.

Froggy – Sharing Harm are we now? I have his clone, which is much nicer cos he doesn't have the foot-in-the-mouth problem that Harm does. ;) Of course you want the gutter ending, those are just. .. NICE! ;)

NK – Total is 15 chapters for this baby and we're looking at 10 chapters for story two, which can change. I was outlining it tonight and it looks to be that long so far. :)

Xblue – I'll let you off on good behavior… so don't worry no more Mac and Brumby stories. Or worse – Harm and Renee ::shiver:::

Carby – Mac will end up, between both stories, probably giving steele a piece of her mind twice. Marine vs. Marine and my bets are on the woman who has love on her side not Mr. Baddass Marine. How's that?

Jackia – Temir and pain? I like that idea. . .I have a few ideas how that MAY or MAY NOT happen. ;)

Charmboy – Yay!! Kudos for you signing in!! :D Well, I know you and SOME OTHER PEOPLE :::Coughs and points::: have their heads in the gutter. . . course I do too. ;)

Jtbwriter – Yep, if I were Mac I'd have gone nuts by now. I won't torture you too much with harm detoxing, I think there is enough hell in the above chapters for him. :)