Panic hit me like a punch to the gut and I ran out after Winter.

"Winter!?" I shouted, looking frantically around for him. "WINTER!?"

Deafening silence answered me. He had vanished into the night like a ghost. Isabel and I searched for him for hours, hoarsely calling his name, but Winter didn't want to be found so we couldn't find him. We gave up when light started to bleed across the sky. We had made it all the way to the reflection pool in the National Mall.

I collapsed by the water, staring blankly down into it. He was gone. Just like that.

"Stella?"

I was never going to see him again.

"Stella?"

Winter…

"Stella," Isabel said gently, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I straightened up a little bit and sniffled.

"I'm sure he'll come back," Isabel assured me, giving my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

I put my hand over hers.

"No he won't," I rasped.

"Hey!" I heard a new voice call and I tensed up.

I looked up out of the corner of my eye and saw a man jogging up to us.

"Are you ladies alright?" he asked, slowing down to a stop next to us.

"Yeah, we were just looking for our dog," Isabel lied smoothly. "He got out and bolted off and we haven't been able to find him."

"What kind of dog is he?" The man asked.

"A German Shepard named Baltar," Isabel told the man.

"Hm," The man mused, glancing over the reflection pool. "I haven't seen any dogs like that this morning."

"Oh, that's okay," Isabel said, disappointment coloring her voice. "C'mon Stella, he might have gone back home."

Isabel gave me her hand and she pulled me up. The man was frowning at me, probably wondering if I was crazy, and I wiped my eyes and gave him a small smile.

He nodded at me and smiled back. "It's okay, I'm sure you'll find him."

"Thanks," I said softly.

Isabel called a cab and we rode back to her apartment, a flame of hope burning in my chest that maybe, just maybe, Winter had come back. The hope drowned when we walked through the door to a house that was deathly still and deserted. Poppy was curled up in the chair Winter usually sat in and gave a sad mew when we walked in.

Isabel told me that he would come back any day, that he didn't have anywhere else to go. Any day turned into any week. Nothing. I still slept with Isabel in her bed, I couldn't stand to be by myself. I couldn't get a job; I was too afraid to do anything. I grew my hair out and I started wearing fake glasses whenever I went out. I was living in constant fear now, I couldn't even start to rebuild my life when all I thought about was HYDRA or SHIELD coming for me or where Winter was and if he was alright. To my surprise, after the first week at Isabel's place the glider showed up on her doorstep. I was pleased albeit bewildered, I had worked for weeks on it and it was the only souvenir I had from my time working for HYDRA.

Summer was decaying into a brilliantly colored autumn. Isabel worried that I wasn't eating enough, and she was probably right. All I ever did was sleep. Everything seemed too bright and too hazy for my eyes. Isabel was constantly putting bandages on my hands and I felt like a burden to her, regardless of what she told me.

In October Isabel drove me to West Virginia to see all of the leaves changing color. We went to an orchard and picked a bunch of apples in the chilly sunshine and I felt... something. Like I wasn't the ghost that had haunted Isabel's life for months. Like maybe things would be okay if I could just stay under the trees in the silent, sweet air.

We got back to Isabel's house late in the evening. I didn't remember the last time I felt so happy.

I went into her flat first, carrying a sack of apples and I fumbled around for the light. I gave up and set the apples down on the kitchen table in the dark. One bounced out of the bag and rolled off the table. I bent down to retrieve it and I noticed a pair of feet standing two inches away from me, feet that certainly didn't belong to Isabel.

My breath stuck in my throat and I lept to my feet and chucked the apple at the intruder's head, which they easily dodged, and lashed out at them, but they were too fast and they caught my arm as if I were a child throwing a tantrum. I squealed and tried to knee them in the groin but they blocked me again. I just started thrashing, trying desperately to get out of their hold and I heard Isabel shout "Stella, what's wrong?"

A light was flipped on and I stared wide-eyed into my assailant's face only to realize that it was the confused, scruffy face of Winter. I gasped and fell still, Winter still holding onto my arm.

"W-Winter?" I stammered. "What – what are - ?"

He let go of my wrist and stepped back from me, studying me silently. I couldn't do anything but gawk at him. I felt tears bubbling up in my eyes.

"Where have you been?" I said in a small, brittle voice.

Winter's eyebrows knit together like it was perplexing to him that I was behaving this way.

"I have to figure out who I am," Winter said softly. "I used to be someone… I used to have a name. I need to know who I was so I can... recover."

"…That's why you left?" I asked, swallowing to try and get rid of the thickness in my voice.

He nodded.

"You could have told me that," I mumbled, wiping at my eyes with my jacket sleeve.

Winter reached out to tilt my chin up and he lowered his eyebrows at me before gently removing the fake glasses I had been wearing, making my heart jump into my throat.

"I know what your name used to be," Isabel commented and we both turned to her.

Isabel glanced in between us.

"There's an entire exhibit about you at the Smithsonian," she explained. "I was going to tell you, but you left before I got the chance."

"Was it…" Winter began but paused and frowned as if he was struggling for the right word.

"Bucky," they said in unison.

Isabel pushed her glasses up. "Your name is Bucky."

Winter studied the ground for a minute.

"I need to see the exhibit," he said.

"I can get all three of us in first thing in the morning," Isabel said matter-of-factly.

"What else do you know about me?" Winter asked, staring at Isabel intently.

"I know that you used to be friends with Captain Rogers," Isabel said slowly. "You had supposedly fallen from a cliff and died in 1945."

"No, I - I don't know him," Winter mumbled, backing away from me, panic slowly overtaking his features.

"All I know is... the mud and ice and… blood," he said to no one in particular, his voice raising.

"Winter," I coaxed, stepping toward him.

"What did Zola do to me?!" he asked, addressing neither of us. "WHY DIDN'T I JUST DIE?!"

Winter clamped his hands on the sides of his head. "WHERE AM I!?" he bellowed, terror poisoning his voice and he fell to his knees. "LET GO OF ME!"

Isabel covered her mouth with her hands, looking at me for instructions.

"WINTER!" I pleaded over his shouting.

He hunched over, his hands clamped over his ears. I edged toward him and knelt in front of him, tears pricking my eyes from seeing him so scared and so confused.

"Winter…" I coaxed, reaching my hand out to him.

I gingerly touched his shoulder. He was shaking.

"…Stella?" Winter asked after a minute.

My throat constricted. That was the first time he had said my name. "I'm right here."

Winter slowly looked up at me.

"Will you help me?" he rasped. "I don't… I can't do this myself…"

I felt my heart leap and I scooted closer to him. "Of course I will."

Winter nodded and I rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

"…I'm glad you came back," I said softly.

The edge of Winter's mouth twitched up slightly into the ghost of a smile. Isabel edged discreetly into her room to give us some privacy and I was grateful for it.

I curled up on the couch and talked to Winter for as long as I could before I fell asleep.

I started awake a few hours later when faint light was just starting to filter through the curtains in the living room. I gasped and my eyes darted around, Winter's name already on my lips.

"What?" Winter answered immediately and I heard his clothes shift. "Stella?"

I blinked several times and my heart slowed down.

Please don't go. I bit back.

"…Nothing," I sighed. "Just…"

I rubbed my sleep-laden eyes, unconsciousness tugging on my body.

"I'm glad you're here," I mumbled, almost silent as sleep pulled me back down to the couch.

"Me too," he hummed back and I drifted back into sleep with his soft voice bouncing around in my head.

Isabel woke me up at eight and I hastily got ready. Winter had dressed himself in an oversized jacket and a baseball cap and regular jeans. He let me pull his hair back into a messy bun for him to keep it out of his eyes.

"How are we going to get in?" I asked from the back seat of Isabel's car. "Aren't there metal detectors at the entrances?"

"We'll go through a back entrance," Isabel said simply. "I do work there, you know."

I nodded and leaned back in my seat. Winter was staring outside of the car window, his eyes scanning the people and passing cars. My eyes flickered to his hand where it was resting on the seat between us and I briefly wanted to take it. He had grown some scruff on his face and in his civilian clothes he looked like a regular guy, as long as you didn't look at his left hand too closely or glance into his eyes. His eyes were always too wide, always suspicious as he ceaselessly searched the faces of the people around us for HYDRA agents.

Isabel parked her car in the back of the museum and confidently led us through a backdoor that she had a key for.

We walked through a large warehouse sort of room where there were aisles and aisles of wrapped up items on shelves that stretched toward the ceiling.

"If anyone asks, you two just got married okay?" Isabel said quietly over her shoulder.

"What?" I said stupidly, immediately turning scarlet.

"If anyone asks, you two just got married and I'm letting you guys behind the scenes as a wedding present," Isabel said, glancing down one of the aisles.

I exchanged a look with Winter and he gave me the smallest smirk and I felt his arm snake behind my back which made my stomach feel like it had a frog leaping around in it.

"Hey, Isabel!" came a loud voice and I saw a thin, curly haired man in a tweed jacket running up to us.

"I misplaced some files about, you know, that science fiction exhibit, and I was wondering if they ended up in your office somehow?" he puffed as he caught up to us.

"You left them in the breakroom and I brought them back to your office," Isabel said shortly, pushing up her glasses. "They're on your desk."

"…Oh," the man said, his eyes wandering up to the ceiling. "Thank you, I would have gotten in a heap and a half of trouble if I had lost those."

He turned to us, giving us a wide grin and flashing us buckteeth. "Who are your friends?"

"This is Alex and Chris," Isabel said smoothly and I smiled at the man. "I'm just showing them around."

"Nice to meet you, Alex and Chris," the man said, shaking my hand and sticking his hand out for Winter to shake. Thankfully he was reaching for his right hand and Winter took it and nodded curtly. "I'm Tristian, and if you ever need to know anything about fossilized artifacts, I'm your guy."

Tristian's phone beeped and he let go of Winter's hand, checked it, and made a face.

"Oh heavens, I have a tour group waiting on me!" he exclaimed and sprinted off ahead of us. "I'll see you later, Isabel!"

Isabel had crossed her arms and I smirked at her as we moved on.

"He seems nice," I giggled and Isabel sighed.

"He's nice," she scowled. "I'd like him more if he didn't think 'no' means 'try harder'."

Isabel sighed, exasperated, and I laughed. "Poor dumb thing."

"I guess," Isabel mumbled.

The Smithsonian had just opened and we had to worm our way through several school trips that filled up the lobby. I briefly wished that I was one of them; young and carefree and about to enjoy a day away from school. Tristian was herding a group of wide eyed elementary schoolers around and he grinned at us as we walked by him.

Isabel led us to the right hall and I tried not to bump into anyone. Winter seemed to be getting tenser with every step that we took. There was a huge mural of Captain Rogers painted on the wall that we passed as we entered the exhibit.

There was a digital screen showing Captain Roger's transition from a short, skinny boy to the superhuman he was now. I pictured his apologetic eyes after he had elbowed me in the nose in the lobby and him pushing himself up on bloody knuckles after he was a fugitive from HYDRA. One wall was decorated with another mural showing seven men, led by Captain Rogers, and there were outfits on mannequins under their portraits.

Winter immediately walked past me to a glass screen with a picture of a soldier on it. James Buchannan "Bucky" Barnes, it read underneath, March 10, 1917 to 1945. Winter was staring at the picture, and now that I looked at it, I realized that it was the same face that I had gone from being afraid of to being afraid for.

I moved through the people to stand next to Winter. A voice was telling us about how Captain Rogers and Bucky had been best friends and that he was the only 'Howling Commando' to give his life in service of his country. There were clips playing of a younger, short-haired Winter standing at Captain Rogers side and laughing with him.

"…Winter," I said softly, glancing at his face.

"That's me," he said, disbelieving. "I don't…"

I glanced up at the uniforms on the wall. Winter was painted there too, standing to the right of Captain Rogers.

"This is all that there is of you, I'm afraid, but it's a start," Isabel said, skirting around a little girl that was looking up at Winter's picture.

Winter didn't respond. The little girl reached up and touched the picture of Winter's face.

I thought that Winter would want to stay there and look around some more, but he didn't. He said he wanted to leave and I didn't argue. We passed by models of spaceships and satellites suspended in the air and I had just asked Winter what he wanted to do now when I realized that he wasn't beside me anymore.

I searched around, alarmed, until I saw him standing in front of a satellite model and I breathed a sigh of relief and weaved through the crowd to him.

"Do you want to go back to Isabel's and see what else we can dig up?" I asked him, nodding at Isabel from across the room and she started making her way over to us.

Winter didn't respond and I looked up at him. His face was blank and pale and his entire body was rigid. A spark of fear tugged at my stomach.

"Winter?" I asked, putting my hand on his arm.

He felt stiff like a wax model, staring intently at the satellite.

"Sputnik one was the first artificial Earth satellite," a speaker was explaining. "The Soviet Union launched it into an elliptical low Earth orbit on 4 October 1957 and…"

My stomach dropped when I realized what was wrong. Sputnik. SPUTNIK!

Winter was tottering, any second he would collapse to the ground. I whipped around to see Isabel standing next to me.

"Isabel, something's wrong!" I shouted. "Winter…!"

Winter toppled over and I felt as if it took a lifetime. I tried to catch him but he was too heavy and he pulled me down with him. I hastily moved to take his pulse and I realized that he didn't have one. His heart had stopped, eyes glassy and blank, fixed on nothing above me.

I heard an alarm blare from everywhere all at once and I looked up to see that Isabel had pulled a fire alarm on the wall next to us. Panic surged through the crowd and people started shoving each other to get to the exits and no one paid attention to us lying on the ground.

"What happened!?" Isabel exclaimed, kneeling next to us.

"His heart stopped!" I screamed over the pandemonium. "What do we do!?"

"Chest compressions!" Isabel shouted back. "We have to keep him breathing!"

"I don't know how to do that!" I screamed, hysteria taking over my thinking.

Isabel pushed me out of the way and started pushing on his chest and counting under her breath.

"Pinch his nose shut and exhale into his mouth," Isabel instructed and I did.

He was so still… this wasn't right…

"Please, please, please, please, please no," I hissed, shaking his head. "Winter please."

In reality we were only keeping him breathing for less than a minute, but those seconds felt like eons. I remembered Chamber's grim face. "It will stop his heart long enough for you to get away from him." What if it stopped it forever? Winter gasped after two breaths and relief washed over me as he sat up and coughed.

"We need to get out of here!" Isabel shouted. "Can you stand?"

Winter leapt to his feet and grabbed my arm and we ran after Isabel. She led us out of the museum and back to her car and we raced back home, passing several firetrucks rushing to the Smithsonian.

At last, we made it back to Isabel's apartment and burst in the door, panting. Isabel immediately locked the door behind us and clutched the stitch in her chest. Winter staggered over to the couch and I slumped against the wall, shaking.

"That… could have gone better," Isabel gasped.

"Winter?" I barked out, louder than I meant to and I tottered over to him.

He glanced up at me and shook his head. "Fine – I'm fine," he managed.

I swallowed hard, and sank to the couch beside him.

You should have known. Spat a voice inside of my head. Winter's not even been back for a day, and you allow this fiasco to happen. What if his heart hadn't started back up? He could have died and it would have been all your fault.

I was urgently tearing at my fingers again, ripping the bandages off and scratching at the already-raw skin.

How could you be so moronic? Hissed the voice. He's going to leave again, just wait.

Winter reached out and clasped my hand and I looked up at him.

"Devushka, your hands," he said gently. "It's alright."

I gripped his fingers. "I should have -"

"Don't," he said shortly.

I heard Isabel typing and I glanced over to see her intently focused on her laptop in the armchair next to me. She peered at me over the top of her laptop and chewed her tongue fretfully. Winter was still holding my hand and I was trying my hardest not to let it shake.

There wasn't a lot of talking in Isabel's apartment the rest of the day, just Isabel's fingers on the keyboard and the tv that I switched on to distract myself. Winter was silent, musing over the information he had been given, reaching out every so often to stop me from ripping at my fingers.

I knew Winter wasn't going to find the answers he needed here in D.C. He was going to go back to where he used to live, go overseas to see where he died. And he had asked me to go with him. I wanted to. I wanted to so badly. I would just be dead weight to him, though. I wasn't strong. I didn't even know how to shoot a gun. Maybe I would even get him killed. I turned my head to watch him.

I caught his eye and he moved to look down at me.

"What?" he asked quietly.

My eyes drifted down to the ground and I shrugged halfheartedly. Winter kept his eyes on me though, and I looked back up at him.

I sighed softly and scooted a bit closer to him, pulling my knees up to my chest. His bionic arm felt warm and I wanted nothing more than to curl up next to him and sleep for a decade or two. Winter moved his hand slightly and brushed my leg with his thumb, still studying me. I smiled somewhat and put my chin on my knee. Well… he was here now, anyway.