Victor looked over at his spouse, then glanced into the back seat reflected in the rearview mirror. He felt as if his heart would burst. His daughter had her eyes unwaveringly fixed on the car seat next to her, staring lovingly at the newest member of their family. Victor smiled gently and asked, "Is he still doing okay, Aki?"
Aki didn't even bother lifting her gaze to look at her papa. She simply nodded her dark head and breathed, "He's perfect."
Yuuri chuckled. "I think we all agree with you."
Victor shifted his gaze to his husband, smiling lovingly. As he looked at Yuuri's face, he felt determination clench deep inside his gut. The last time they'd had a baby had not ended very well. He'd started working at the skating federation shortly after they'd brought Aki home. Victor had ended up allowing Yuuri to feel so alone that he had gone to Hasetsu with the baby, with the intention of separating. Victor had chased after him and convinced Yuuri that he needed both of them in his life, but that time had never really left Victor. He had rededicated himself as a father and husband after that, but the baby stage had been over almost before he knew it. Then Yuuri had started working too, coaching children in skating. Now that they had decided to adopt another child, they were right back to the baby stage again.
And this time, Victor was determined not to mess it up.
As if he felt the intensity of his husband's gaze, Yuuri looked over at Victor. He gave an impossibly gentle smile which Victor returned instinctively. Yuuri chuckled and said, "Vitya, shouldn't you be focused on the road? I know we're almost home, but I'd like to get there in one piece."
With a laugh, Victor obediently turned his eyes forward as he replied, "It's not my fault my family are all so precious and beautiful. I just want to look at all of you all the time!"
From the back seat, Aki chirped, "But I'm the only one who gets to look at the baby!"
Victor let out a distressed noise. "Malyshka, that's not fair! Papa wants to see Kolya too!"
Yuuri laughed. "Then you should make sure we get home quickly so you can look at him all you want."
Under his breath, Victor grumbled, "That's what I'm doing." He refocused his efforts on driving through the busy streets of St. Petersburg, going as quickly as he dared with such precious cargo on board.
They finally pulled into the parking lot of their apartment complex. Victor killed the engine, rising quickly to go to the back seat. As he opened the door to retrieve the baby carrier, his daughter threw her body across it and glared at him. Dumbfounded, he said, "Aki, come on now. I need to get the baby inside."
"But I want to carry him!"
Trying to suppress a chuckle, Victor replied, "How about you let me take him upstairs, and then you can hold him once we get inside?"
Aki regarded her papa seriously for a moment, then slowly withdrew from the car seat. She unbuckled and exited the car almost as quickly as her papa had, and dashed to the apartment building. Victor chuckled as he leaned in and released the car seat from its base. As he did, he allowed his eyes to linger on his new son. He felt his face relaxing into what he was sure was a very silly expression, but he couldn't help it. His son was just so cute.
They had chosen the name Nikolai, partially in honor of Russia's first Olympic champion, although he hadn't told Yuuri that this was one of the reasons he had pushed for Nikolai as a name. Looking at the baby now, Victor felt like that intention for his name was pretty far removed from the adorable little boy sleeping peacefully in his car seat. When they had adopted Aki she had been over a month old, but Nikolai was still an infant, barely two weeks old. He looked much smaller than his sister had, and Victor felt an overwhelming urge to be gentle with this precious new life they were bringing home.
"Vitya?"
Shaking his head, Victor looked up and realized his spouse was still seated in the car, looking at him with warm eyes. Sheepishly, Victor smiled and said, "It's nothing, zolotse. I was just thinking how small he is. We have to be sure to protect him well." He lifted the car seat up, continuing, "Anyway, you should get inside and rest. I know you've lost a lot of sleep lately over this little guy." With his best winning smile, Victor straightened up and closed the car door.
His husband arose out of the car and replied as his head came into view, "That's hardly fair. I know that you've been just as excited about the baby as I have."
"Of course I have! But I've at least been able to get a decent night's sleep. Now come on, milyy, let's get you both inside." Cradling the baby carrier, Victor walked around to his husband's side of the car, grasping him gently by the elbow.
Yuuri sighed a little as he rose from his seat and shut the car door. "Vitya, you don't need to worry so much about me. Kolya is the important thing here."
Pushing his elbow lightly in the direction of the apartment, Victor exclaimed, "What are you saying, dusha moya! You're always most important! You and Aki, and Kolya!"
His spouse laughed at him as they began ascending the stairs. "I think you just agreed with me."
"Well, yes…but also no! I have plenty of attention for all three of you, so it's not like one of you is more important. You're all important in different ways."
They had reached the top of the stairs by now. Aki was standing by their door, bouncing with impatience. "Papa, hurry up! I wanna look at Kolya!"
Victor chuckled and dug out his key. "All right, orel'ka. I'm coming." Obediently, he opened their apartment and ushered his spouse inside. Their daughter needed no coaxing. She dashed in and plunked herself down by the couch, watching impatiently as her parents entered and took their shoes off. When Victor brought the carrier over and set it in front of her, she let out a small squeal. The baby shifted a little at the noise, and Aki quickly slapped both hands over her mouth. Trying not to laugh as he undid the straps of the carrier, Victor said, "Aki, I think it's okay for you to breathe. That won't wake him up."
She moved her hands down just enough to mumble, "Are you sure?"
Behind her, Yuuri chimed in, "Yes, Aki. It's important for you to breathe. You need to do it to live."
Ignoring her otousan, Aki met her papa's eyes and waited for an answer to her question.
"I am sure that you won't wake your brother up by breathing. Now come on, settle back in your seat and I'll give him to you." Victor held the baby out to his expectant daughter, arranging her arms so that Nikolai was resting in her lap. She stared at him in awe, and Victor wondered if he should remind her to breathe again.
His spouse came around the couch and stood next to him, and for a minute they both just soaked in the adorable picture of their children together. Eventually Victor managed to snap himself out of his reverie. He stood and faced Yuuri. "Lyubov moya, you should lie down and take a nap. Aren't you tired?"
"It's the middle of the day. I don't need a nap right now."
"Then at least sit down for a while." Gently, he pushed his husband over to his armchair. With a sigh, Yuuri complied. Satisfied that he was resting, Victor said, "I'll go get you something to drink." Before any protests could be issued, he bustled off to the kitchen, starting the kettle on the stove to make some tea. He hummed as he took the tea out of the cabinet, basking in the domestic joy of the task. He called to his daughter, trying to be as quiet as possible, "Akiya, do you want anything to drink?"
Her voice came back in an angry stage whisper. "Papa, be quiet! You're gonna wake up the baby!"
Victor chuckled, and pulled out a glass from the cabinet to get her some juice. He busied himself with the task, happy to have something useful to do.
When there had just been Aki, Victor had never really felt like anything had been missing. But now, with the fourth human member of their family at home, it felt like they were somehow complete. The apartment felt fuller, warmer, as if it were now fully satisfied. As Victor brought his family their drinks, he resealed his vow firmly in his heart. This time, there would be no mistakes.
None.