"Heya Honey are you ok?"asked Christy sitting on the end of Courtney's bed.

"Yeah i think so"she said sleepily.

"Truth please?"Christy asked raising an eyebrow at her.

"Ok not so fine but Christy honestly don't worry about me"She admitted

"Courtney honey i don't want you going crazy on us again now tell me!"Christy demanded

"Ok stop treating me like a baby"She laughed sitting up.

"Ok sorry"Christy laughed"ok so tell me"

Courtney rolled her eyes once Christy was determind to find somthing out there was no stopping her, it was easier just to give in.

"I haven't been sleeping, i just keep seeing it over and over again."She admitted quietly"Christy was it my fault, i mean i was in that room and i was screaming at him, maybe he heard what i was saying and i dunno what if i put pressure on him, that probably doesn't make sense but life doesn't make sense"

"Courtney none of this is your fault, it can't be"Christy assured her giving her a hug."now you just get some rest and i'll take Roxie for the afternoon"

"You don't have to do that"she told her

"i know i don't have to but i want to"Christy told her as she picked up Roxie"Come on Roxie honey you can come and play with your favourite auntie today, i've got better toys for you than auntie Trish"

Roxie laughed at Christy as they left the room so Courtney could sleep.

Courtney kept turning constantly trying to sleep but it was impossible to get comfortable. She lay there for an hour her eyelids growing heavy as she eventually driffted off.

FLASHBACK

"why did this happen to us?"she asked softly"everything was going great, but it'll get better won't it" she paused for a moment"get better,please Randy you have to, you can't leave me alone,you can't leave your baby.

Courtney knelt by the bedside and cried. "Wake up Randy!"she cried"talk to me, i need you"

"Honey are you ok?"Christy asked softly kneeling down beside her.

"Christy he won't wake up"she cried.

"shh it's ok"Christy said trying to calm her friend.

Courtney sat and cried more as Christy gently stroked her hair"He'll pull through Court, you'll be ok"Christy assured her.

"can i talk to him alone?"she asked

"call me if you need me"Christy said as she left the room.

"Is Christy right?"she asked Randy"Maybe she is, so how about we get our baby a little dog, we could get a golden retriver i know you love them, and we still need to decorate the baby's room so you need to come home soon." Courtney wiped her eyes"she'll be here soon little Callie, i still say we're having a girl"

A loud beeping noise went off and Courtney's head shot up. "Randy!"she cried"no don't you dare leave me!"

The doctor was in the room almost instantly and Courtney was asked to wait outside.

"Christy somthing's wrong"she exclaimed walking over to her friend"he can't leave me Christy he can't"

"Honey it's ok he'll be ok"Christy said soothingly.

Courtney looked up as she saw the door open and Randy's bed being pushed out as other nurses and another doctor came to help.

"What's happening?"she asked standing up"where are you taking him?"

"We need to do surgery straight away Mrs Orton"said the doctor rushing off not having time to explain anything.

The two girls sat in silence waiting for the doctor to return.

"Christy it's been two hours where is he?she asked pacing the floor.

"there's the doctor"Christy told her.

"where is he, is he ok?"she asked the doctor.

"Mrs Orton i'm very sorry"he said

"no!"she exclaimed"no don't say that"

END

Courtney was crying in her sleep, tossing and turning. An ambulance drove past outside with the siren going.

"Randy!"She cried waking up instanly with her breathing heavy. She put her hand on her heart waiting for it to return to normal. There was a knock at the door so she slowly got up from the bed taking deep breathes as she opend it.

"Courtney are you ok?"asked Chris looking worried.

Courtney just stared at him. She had been so sure Chris was her friend but since She had come back to work he had been strange around her not wanting to talk to her.

"I'm fine"she said simply.

"Can i come in?"he asked

"Why?"she asked glaring at him"shouldn't you be avoiding me right now"

"I'm sorry"he told her lowering his head.

"Why have you been avoiding me?"she asked"I thought you were my friend, geuss i was wrong"

"Courtney i am your friend"He told her pushing his way into the room.

"Then why the hell have you been avoiding me especially now when i need you?"she asked angrily closing the door and walking over to him.

"Because it's hard to be around you"he told her.

"Well in that case you don't have to"she said"the door's that way". She pointed towards the other side of the room.

"Courtney please i didn't mean ti like that let me explain"he begged.

"Save your breath, i don't want to hear it"She told him

"Courtney i really care about you, i don't want to lose you"He told her

"You don't give a damn about me"she yelled"you didn't lose me i lost you"

"Yes i do care"he yelled back"of course i care i love you!"

"Yeah you all love me your all there for me"she laughed"well how come Christy ,Trish and John are the only ones who have been around!"

"No"he said taking her hand"I don't mean as a friend i love you"

"Oh my god"she gasped suddenly realising what he meant."when did this happen?"

Chris suddenly realised what he had admited and he quickly let go of her hand. "I have to go"he said leaving the room before she could say another word.

Courtney sat down in the chair feeling confused. She walked across to the phone and called Christy asking her to come round.

Christy didn't bother knocking she just came straight in.

"Sweetie what is it?"she asked sitting down next to her"don't worry John's got Roxie"

"Chris said he loves me"She told her"more than a friend"

"Oh my god!"exclaimed Christy

"and now i don't know what to do"she groaned"i'm so confused"

"Well how do you feel about him?"asked Christy

"I don't know i'm not over Randy yet i don't know how i feel about other people"she replied

"Honey your twenty three years old you don't deserve this"Christy told her sympathetically.

"Yeah well in life you don't get what you deserve, sometimes horrible things happen that no one deserves and sometimes great things happen like Roxie she's too good sometimes i feel like i don't deserve her or i don't deserve such great friends but i'm glad i've got them"She said simply.

"Honey maybe you should think about other people it could help"Christy told her"It's not normal for a someone as young pretty and sweet as you to be sat alone in a hotel room all the time.

"Christy i was made a widow and had a baby at twenty three, my life isn't normal"She told her"and i will move on but it's got to be in my own time, it could be ten years it could be never i don't know when i'll be ready i just know that it isn't now"

"Well you do it when you're ready"Christy said hugging her.

"Is it ok if i just have some time alone to think things through?"she asked

"sure i'll go back and check on Roxie just call me when you want me to bring her back"Christy told her before leaving.

It wasn't going to be Courtney's best week ever and she had alot to think about.

thank you for all my reviews!!! any one who wants to plz add me on msn my email addy is on my profile on here. anyone who reads this can you plz read and review my story "are you ready" it wud realli help me alot lol!