Fall to Pieces
Chapter Eight
Disclaimer: Ah, come on ... can't you just give them to me, for like ... a day? Really, that's all I ask. 24 hours is a long time, ya know. Lots could happen ...
She woke to dark blue eyes staring down at her, a smile dancing in them. Cassie giggled and moved back, sitting on her legs. Olivia turned the alarm clock off and shook Becca gently, waking her. She got the two girls dressed and then dressed herself. When they ventured into the kitchen to get something for breakfast Elliot was already there, nurturing a cup of coffee. He smiled awkwardly at her, and her face mirrored the same smile. He poured her a cup of coffee and handed it to her, she took it eagerly, she hadn't slept much that night.
Cassie seemed irritated; she barely touched her cereal. Olivia was worried; she had never seen Cassie in such a bad mood.
"Cassie, honey," she called out to her, Cassie looked up from her cereal bowl. "What's bothering you?"
The little girl shook her head, "Nothing."
"Cassie..."
"When's daddy coming home?"
Olivia suddenly became very nervous, fidgeting where she stood. She glanced at Elliot who just frowned and shrugged. He was a great help. Sighing, she sat down in the chair next to Cassie.
"Cassie, honey ... daddy won't be coming home."
Her brow furrowed, "Why not?"
"Oh god," Olivia thought, "how the hell am I going to explain this one?"
Elliot seemed to understand, he crouched down next to Cassie and looked her in the eyes. "Cassie, daddy and mommy don't live together anymore."
This confused her even more, "How come?"
"Sweetie, daddy was mean to mommy."
She shook her head, "No he wasn't."
Becca was silent, looking from Elliot and Cassie to her mother, her brown eyes wide and confused.
Olivia took over again, "Yes he was, baby. Daddy was very mean to mommy."
Cassie folded her arms over her chest, "No!"
Olivia lowered her head; her eyes closed, and sighed. This was not going well. She didn't think it would, but she truthfully didn't expect Cassie to question her father's absence so soon. She figured she had at least another week or so.
Becca got out of her chair and walked to her mother, crawling into her lap. Olivia opened her eyes and looked at her youngest daughter, Becca smiled and hugged her. "It ok momma. I beweave you."
Olivia hugged her back and looked over at Cassie, who was still adamant in her decision that her daddy was NOT a mean person, therefore couldn't possibly be mean to her mommy.
"Cassie," Elliot said, still crouched down next to her chair, "what happened the first night your mommy brought you to my house?"
"Mommy woke me up and brought me here."
"Why did mommy wake you up?"
She looked down at her hands, "'Cause daddy was yelling."
"Why was daddy yelling?"
She shrugged.
"So, daddy was being mean?"
Nodding she looked up at Olivia. "Daddy was mean?"
"Yes, baby, daddy was mean."
Cassie looked over at the clock on the stove; "We'll be late."
Olivia nodded and stood up, Becca in her arms. Cassie got her things and Elliot grabbed Becca's and they headed down for his car. They drove to Cassie's school and then to drop Becca off at her babysitters house. After both children were gone the car became quiet. It was an awkward silence, but neither person wanted to be the first to speak. They had already pulled up in his parking space before he finally broke the silence and spoke to her.
"Are we going to talk about this?"
He didn't need to explain to her; she knew what he was speaking of. "No." She stated simply.
"Why not?"
"There's nothing to talk about?"
He looked over at her, but she was looking out the window. "Are you sure?"
She looked at him, her brown eyes met his blue ones, and though both wanted to look away, neither could. "This isn't the time or the place Elliot."
"Then when is the time and where is the place? All you have to do is tell me, I can wait."
She sighed, "Elliot, with everything that's going on you'll be waiting for a long time."
"I can deal with that."
"Maybe," she said looking away, "But I'm not so sure that I could."
"I'm sorry."
She looked back at him, confusion dancing in her eyes. "For what?"
"What happened last night, It shouldn't have."
She furrowed her brow, "Nothing happened. We were both upset, we were just comforting each other. It was nothing," she lied.
"It was something, we both know that."
"This can't happen."
This time Olivia was the one who didn't need to explain, he already knew what she meant. "I know."
She nodded, "Good."
He didn't reply, instead turned his car off and got out, leaving Olivia behind. She watched him go and cradled her head in her hands, sighing to herself. She knew that this was going to happen, she didn't want to push him away, but she had to. She was in the beginning stages of a divorce, one that was bound to be a bitter one, her having a relationship, with her partner nonetheless, was not the smartest thing for her to do. But, God help her it was the only thing on her mind. Two weeks after she left her husband and she was already thinking about another man, maybe even loved him. She banged the side of her head against the window.
"God, Olivia," she said to herself, "Get a grip."
She pushed her thoughts and feelings aside for the time being and ran a hand haphazardly though her short hair. Checking her reflection in the mirror she opened the passengers' side door and stepped out of the car. She pulled on her shirt and slid into her jacket. Her mind now on professional mode she began to walk towards the station house, ready the long day of work that was ahead of her.
He was hurt; there was no denying it. It wasn't like he didn't understand her apprehension, she had good reasons for it, but she had basically told him that there was no chance there would ever be anything between them. Anything that was more than partners and friends. He thought there was something there, he could've sworn he felt it the night before, he thought she had felt the same way. Maybe he was wrong.
His mind told him to stop being so selfish; she was going through something terrible. Her marriage, her life, had shattered and fallen to pieces and there he was wondering why she didn't share the feelings he felt for her. It told him to wait, to give her some time, she had only been separated from her husband for a little over two weeks, a relationship with anybody, whether it be her partner or some random Joe walking down the street notwithstanding, was probably the last thing on her mind.
But what had happened the night before, no matter how platonic their intentions had been, told him otherwise. There had definitely been something there, something beneath the surface. Something that she had hidden, under that nice façade she had come up with, the one that wasn't doing its job in fooling him.
He had sat in the living room after she left. He watched as a faint light came from under the guestroom door, not bright enough to be the bedroom light, but brighter than a lamp. The bathroom was his best guess. It had been confirmed by the sound of running water, from the sink by the sounds of it. He sat there and watched that light, it hadn't gone off until nearly an hour after she had gone off. Nearly an hour ... he knew Olivia better than to assume she was just getting ready for sleep. No, something had been bothering her.
She walked in the station house about five minutes after he did, she had her work face on and was ready for whatever the Captain would be throwing at them. He wondered how they did it, not just the two of them, but everybody he worked with. He wondered how they could see the things they saw and then go home, how they could lead two completely different lives, how they could manage to come into work with a smile on their faces, or go home with that same smile.
When she sat down in front of him he noticed something that he had never noticed before, at least not in the past two weeks, her wedding rings were gone. It made sense, but he hadn't thought to look and see. Of course, with her in the process of divorcing the man she wouldn't wear his rings. She had probably sent them back to him, it wouldn't be like her to keep them or pawn them off.
They day was a slow one, paperwork ensuing the case they had had the day before. That day there was no friendly banter between any of them, no sarcastic remarks from Munch, and minimum conversation. It was like the others could sense Olivia and Elliot's bad moods. As long as they had worked together they probably could.
When work was finally over Olivia and Elliot picked up the girls from Heather's house. She invited the two detectives in for something to eat but they respectively declined, promising to another time. Heather smiled and told them goodnight. They left and drove to Elliot's house where Olivia made the girls grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. While they ate in the kitchen (Cassie promising to watch her little sister), Elliot and Olivia sat in the living room and talked.
"I know that what I said earlier was a bit harsh, but it was the truth. I can't have anything going on right now, Elliot. Even if I wanted it to."
He nodded, "I understand that, I just wanted you to know that I'm here."
She smiled, "I know, that's what bothers me ... you're a distraction, Elliot. One that I like but can't afford to have right now. I can't stay here much longer, who knows what would happen."
"I would never do anything to jeopardize your divorce."
"I know, I trust you. It's me I don't trust. I'm going to look for an apartment this weekend. Nothing big, preferably just a one or two bedroom, Cassie and Becca can sleep together or with me. I like staying here with you, but I can't."
"I understand."
"Good. I don't want you to think that I'm just trying to find a way to distance myself from you, I just can't count on myself not to get too far into things, because if I stayed the chances that I would would be too high."
He nodded, "I know."
Smiling she stood up and went into the kitchen to check on the girls, they were both done eating. She told Cassie to go get her shower in the guest bathroom as she and Becca showered in Elliot's bathroom. Then after the girls were ready for bed she tucked them in and wished them sweet dreams. When she walked into the living room Elliot was standing in the hallway putting on his T-shirt. Olivia felt her face heat up and turned away, sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV. Elliot hadn't seen her standing there. She was thankful that he didn't.
After watching TV for a while she announced that she was going to go to bed. To her surprise Elliot followed her to the bedroom door, and when she turned around she found his lips on hers. She was shocked, to say the least, but though she knew she should she didn't pull back.
When he did pull back her heart was beating so loud it was a wonder he couldn't hear it's rushed thump, thump, thump. He smiled at the look on her face.
"So you don't forget about me," he explained.
Oh buddy, she thought, that's definitely not going to happen anytime soon.
She could only smile and nod at him. Without warning he kissed her again then walked down the hallway to his room, leaving her there with her jaw dropped, trying to return her breathing to normal.
Why did he do these things to her? She wondered as she slipped into bed next to Cassie. What could possibly make him think that that would help her with leaving? It only made things even more confusing and hard. It was definitely a welcomed surprise, but not a smart one.
Her last thoughts as she drifted off to sleep were of how warm and soft his lips had been and how she hoped that she would have that feeling again soon.
She had some very ... interesting dreams that night.
A/N: I know ... I'm mean. There's more where that came from. Let me know what'cha think.
Chapter Eight
Disclaimer: Ah, come on ... can't you just give them to me, for like ... a day? Really, that's all I ask. 24 hours is a long time, ya know. Lots could happen ...
She woke to dark blue eyes staring down at her, a smile dancing in them. Cassie giggled and moved back, sitting on her legs. Olivia turned the alarm clock off and shook Becca gently, waking her. She got the two girls dressed and then dressed herself. When they ventured into the kitchen to get something for breakfast Elliot was already there, nurturing a cup of coffee. He smiled awkwardly at her, and her face mirrored the same smile. He poured her a cup of coffee and handed it to her, she took it eagerly, she hadn't slept much that night.
Cassie seemed irritated; she barely touched her cereal. Olivia was worried; she had never seen Cassie in such a bad mood.
"Cassie, honey," she called out to her, Cassie looked up from her cereal bowl. "What's bothering you?"
The little girl shook her head, "Nothing."
"Cassie..."
"When's daddy coming home?"
Olivia suddenly became very nervous, fidgeting where she stood. She glanced at Elliot who just frowned and shrugged. He was a great help. Sighing, she sat down in the chair next to Cassie.
"Cassie, honey ... daddy won't be coming home."
Her brow furrowed, "Why not?"
"Oh god," Olivia thought, "how the hell am I going to explain this one?"
Elliot seemed to understand, he crouched down next to Cassie and looked her in the eyes. "Cassie, daddy and mommy don't live together anymore."
This confused her even more, "How come?"
"Sweetie, daddy was mean to mommy."
She shook her head, "No he wasn't."
Becca was silent, looking from Elliot and Cassie to her mother, her brown eyes wide and confused.
Olivia took over again, "Yes he was, baby. Daddy was very mean to mommy."
Cassie folded her arms over her chest, "No!"
Olivia lowered her head; her eyes closed, and sighed. This was not going well. She didn't think it would, but she truthfully didn't expect Cassie to question her father's absence so soon. She figured she had at least another week or so.
Becca got out of her chair and walked to her mother, crawling into her lap. Olivia opened her eyes and looked at her youngest daughter, Becca smiled and hugged her. "It ok momma. I beweave you."
Olivia hugged her back and looked over at Cassie, who was still adamant in her decision that her daddy was NOT a mean person, therefore couldn't possibly be mean to her mommy.
"Cassie," Elliot said, still crouched down next to her chair, "what happened the first night your mommy brought you to my house?"
"Mommy woke me up and brought me here."
"Why did mommy wake you up?"
She looked down at her hands, "'Cause daddy was yelling."
"Why was daddy yelling?"
She shrugged.
"So, daddy was being mean?"
Nodding she looked up at Olivia. "Daddy was mean?"
"Yes, baby, daddy was mean."
Cassie looked over at the clock on the stove; "We'll be late."
Olivia nodded and stood up, Becca in her arms. Cassie got her things and Elliot grabbed Becca's and they headed down for his car. They drove to Cassie's school and then to drop Becca off at her babysitters house. After both children were gone the car became quiet. It was an awkward silence, but neither person wanted to be the first to speak. They had already pulled up in his parking space before he finally broke the silence and spoke to her.
"Are we going to talk about this?"
He didn't need to explain to her; she knew what he was speaking of. "No." She stated simply.
"Why not?"
"There's nothing to talk about?"
He looked over at her, but she was looking out the window. "Are you sure?"
She looked at him, her brown eyes met his blue ones, and though both wanted to look away, neither could. "This isn't the time or the place Elliot."
"Then when is the time and where is the place? All you have to do is tell me, I can wait."
She sighed, "Elliot, with everything that's going on you'll be waiting for a long time."
"I can deal with that."
"Maybe," she said looking away, "But I'm not so sure that I could."
"I'm sorry."
She looked back at him, confusion dancing in her eyes. "For what?"
"What happened last night, It shouldn't have."
She furrowed her brow, "Nothing happened. We were both upset, we were just comforting each other. It was nothing," she lied.
"It was something, we both know that."
"This can't happen."
This time Olivia was the one who didn't need to explain, he already knew what she meant. "I know."
She nodded, "Good."
He didn't reply, instead turned his car off and got out, leaving Olivia behind. She watched him go and cradled her head in her hands, sighing to herself. She knew that this was going to happen, she didn't want to push him away, but she had to. She was in the beginning stages of a divorce, one that was bound to be a bitter one, her having a relationship, with her partner nonetheless, was not the smartest thing for her to do. But, God help her it was the only thing on her mind. Two weeks after she left her husband and she was already thinking about another man, maybe even loved him. She banged the side of her head against the window.
"God, Olivia," she said to herself, "Get a grip."
She pushed her thoughts and feelings aside for the time being and ran a hand haphazardly though her short hair. Checking her reflection in the mirror she opened the passengers' side door and stepped out of the car. She pulled on her shirt and slid into her jacket. Her mind now on professional mode she began to walk towards the station house, ready the long day of work that was ahead of her.
He was hurt; there was no denying it. It wasn't like he didn't understand her apprehension, she had good reasons for it, but she had basically told him that there was no chance there would ever be anything between them. Anything that was more than partners and friends. He thought there was something there, he could've sworn he felt it the night before, he thought she had felt the same way. Maybe he was wrong.
His mind told him to stop being so selfish; she was going through something terrible. Her marriage, her life, had shattered and fallen to pieces and there he was wondering why she didn't share the feelings he felt for her. It told him to wait, to give her some time, she had only been separated from her husband for a little over two weeks, a relationship with anybody, whether it be her partner or some random Joe walking down the street notwithstanding, was probably the last thing on her mind.
But what had happened the night before, no matter how platonic their intentions had been, told him otherwise. There had definitely been something there, something beneath the surface. Something that she had hidden, under that nice façade she had come up with, the one that wasn't doing its job in fooling him.
He had sat in the living room after she left. He watched as a faint light came from under the guestroom door, not bright enough to be the bedroom light, but brighter than a lamp. The bathroom was his best guess. It had been confirmed by the sound of running water, from the sink by the sounds of it. He sat there and watched that light, it hadn't gone off until nearly an hour after she had gone off. Nearly an hour ... he knew Olivia better than to assume she was just getting ready for sleep. No, something had been bothering her.
She walked in the station house about five minutes after he did, she had her work face on and was ready for whatever the Captain would be throwing at them. He wondered how they did it, not just the two of them, but everybody he worked with. He wondered how they could see the things they saw and then go home, how they could lead two completely different lives, how they could manage to come into work with a smile on their faces, or go home with that same smile.
When she sat down in front of him he noticed something that he had never noticed before, at least not in the past two weeks, her wedding rings were gone. It made sense, but he hadn't thought to look and see. Of course, with her in the process of divorcing the man she wouldn't wear his rings. She had probably sent them back to him, it wouldn't be like her to keep them or pawn them off.
They day was a slow one, paperwork ensuing the case they had had the day before. That day there was no friendly banter between any of them, no sarcastic remarks from Munch, and minimum conversation. It was like the others could sense Olivia and Elliot's bad moods. As long as they had worked together they probably could.
When work was finally over Olivia and Elliot picked up the girls from Heather's house. She invited the two detectives in for something to eat but they respectively declined, promising to another time. Heather smiled and told them goodnight. They left and drove to Elliot's house where Olivia made the girls grilled ham and cheese sandwiches. While they ate in the kitchen (Cassie promising to watch her little sister), Elliot and Olivia sat in the living room and talked.
"I know that what I said earlier was a bit harsh, but it was the truth. I can't have anything going on right now, Elliot. Even if I wanted it to."
He nodded, "I understand that, I just wanted you to know that I'm here."
She smiled, "I know, that's what bothers me ... you're a distraction, Elliot. One that I like but can't afford to have right now. I can't stay here much longer, who knows what would happen."
"I would never do anything to jeopardize your divorce."
"I know, I trust you. It's me I don't trust. I'm going to look for an apartment this weekend. Nothing big, preferably just a one or two bedroom, Cassie and Becca can sleep together or with me. I like staying here with you, but I can't."
"I understand."
"Good. I don't want you to think that I'm just trying to find a way to distance myself from you, I just can't count on myself not to get too far into things, because if I stayed the chances that I would would be too high."
He nodded, "I know."
Smiling she stood up and went into the kitchen to check on the girls, they were both done eating. She told Cassie to go get her shower in the guest bathroom as she and Becca showered in Elliot's bathroom. Then after the girls were ready for bed she tucked them in and wished them sweet dreams. When she walked into the living room Elliot was standing in the hallway putting on his T-shirt. Olivia felt her face heat up and turned away, sitting down on the couch and turning on the TV. Elliot hadn't seen her standing there. She was thankful that he didn't.
After watching TV for a while she announced that she was going to go to bed. To her surprise Elliot followed her to the bedroom door, and when she turned around she found his lips on hers. She was shocked, to say the least, but though she knew she should she didn't pull back.
When he did pull back her heart was beating so loud it was a wonder he couldn't hear it's rushed thump, thump, thump. He smiled at the look on her face.
"So you don't forget about me," he explained.
Oh buddy, she thought, that's definitely not going to happen anytime soon.
She could only smile and nod at him. Without warning he kissed her again then walked down the hallway to his room, leaving her there with her jaw dropped, trying to return her breathing to normal.
Why did he do these things to her? She wondered as she slipped into bed next to Cassie. What could possibly make him think that that would help her with leaving? It only made things even more confusing and hard. It was definitely a welcomed surprise, but not a smart one.
Her last thoughts as she drifted off to sleep were of how warm and soft his lips had been and how she hoped that she would have that feeling again soon.
She had some very ... interesting dreams that night.
A/N: I know ... I'm mean. There's more where that came from. Let me know what'cha think.