THE MATRIX REWRITTEN
CHAPTER 3: THE CLUB
PG13
-Neo is leaning up against a wall in a club-
-Trinity walks up to him-
Trinity – Hello, Neo.
Neo – How do you know that name?
Trinity – I know a lot about you Neo. I know that you like to dance in chicken suits while singing, "Carry on my Wayward Son" by Kansas.
Neo – What? How did you find that out?
-Trinity bitch-slaps him-
Trinity – You just told me, bitch!
Neo – Um, yeah. Well, anyway, back on topic… Who are you?
Trinity – My name is Trinity. And, yes, before you ask, I am the Trinity that cracked the IRS D-base.
Neo – Wow, you have SPE, too.
Trinity – That's ESP, and I don't have it. But you will have a GKIA if you don't shutup!
Neo – Oooh, what's that?
-Trinity gives him a good kick in the ass-
Trinity – It stands for Good Kick In the Ass!
-Neo cries a little-
Neo – Ok. Anyway. Oh Jesus.
Trinity – What?
Neo – I just… I thought you were a guy.
-Trinity bitch-slaps him again-
Trinity – I'm not a guy! You're the transsexual!
Neo – Why you gotta be so cold like that! I swear… So that was you on my computer? How did you do that?
Trinity – All I can tell you is that you are in danger. I brought you here to warm you, Neo.
Neo – What?
Trinity – Oh, sorry. I like warming people. It's fun. But I meant warn.
Neo – Oh. Well, warm me of what?
Trinity – What?
Neo – Oh, sorry. I meant warn.
Trinity – Oh. Anyway, they're watching you, Neo.
Neo – Who?
-Trinity leans into his ear-
Trinity – Please, just listen. I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing.
Neo – Yeah, I'm here because you told me to follow the white trailer trash! Oh, and do you know what I did last summer?
Trinity – Yeah, that was kind of obvious. And, no I don't, and I don't really care.
Neo – Worth a try.
Trinity – I know why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night you sit at your computer. YOU LOOK AT NAKED PICTURES OF MORPHEUS!
-Music stops in the club, and everyone looks at Neo-
Trinity – JUST KIDDING!
Neo – You do realize that you did all of that screaming directly into my ear?
Trinity – Well, that's the writer's fault.
Monarch of Halo – Shutup.
Trinity – Anyway… You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him; I was looking for naked pictures of him.
Neo – What!
Trinity – Just kidding. Anyway, I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I once did.
Neo – What is the Fatrix?
-Trinity bitch slaps him with both hands-
Trinity – That was stupid and completely random. But once again, that's the writer's fault.
Monarch of Halo – Once again, shutup.
Trinity – Anyway, what the hell is a Fatrix?
Neo – I don't know, that's why I asked! Oh! The question you mean is 'What is the Matrix?'
Trinity – No, I meant 'What is the Fatrix?'
Neo – WAIT, you're confusing me!
-Trinity bitch-slaps him with both hands again-
Trinity – The question is 'What is the Matrix?'
Neo – Oh.
Trinity – The answer is out there, Neo. It's looking for you. And it will find you, if you want it to.
-Trinity walks away-