Part 18
Duo blushed some more, fidgeted with the end of his braid and looked away. Heero felt his cheeks beginning to burn and hoped that he was not blushing too, but unfortunately, blocking that kind of reaction by the power of his will was not something he could do. Wufei let out a snort of laughter.
"Actually, they did fight over you", he said in a tired voice. "I had to threaten them to make them stop."
Quatre shot a worried look at Wufei when he heard the tiredness in his voice. He turned back to Heero and Duo, who were still trying to pretend that they were somewhere else, preferably very far away at the other end of the galaxy. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, trying not to burst right now. Heero could feel that Quatre was restraining himself both because Catherine and Trowa were watching the scene with puzzled looks, but also because he felt a little guilty for having run away.
"Okay", Quatre sighed. "I need to talk to both of you, but not now, and not here. This will wait until we get back to the hotel. First, I think I owe some kind of explanation to Trowa and Catherine."
"Oh but you don't, Mr Winner", Catherine began, but Quatre interrupted.
"Please don't call me that", he begged. "I was just Quatre last night, I am still just Quatre this morning. And I want to explain, since you were kind enough to shelter me in a situation where I could have endangered you."
Catherine opened her mouth to argue, but Duo stopped her.
"Don't try", he said. "He's even more stubborn than you'll ever be, and anyway, I think we're all grateful that you gave him some place to sleep last night, so it's only fair, uh guys ?"
Both Heero and Wufei nodded. Catherine gave in.
"As you wish, but let's get inside the trailer, then. It's kinda chilly here."
"Just a minute", Quatre said.
He went to Wufei, putting his hand on the Chinese man's shoulder.
"Ni hau ma (1), Wufei ?" he asked.
They began a conversation in Chinese. Heero didn't understand a word, and from the look on their faces, neither did Trowa and Catherine. Duo had his head cocked to one side, looking intently at his two friends with a look of concentration on his face.
"Do you understand what they say ?", Heero asked.
"Nope", Duo guffawed. "I'm just pretending. I only speak Cantonese, not Mandarin. But from the sound of it, I think Quatre is profusely apologizing for running away without tellin' Wu, and Wu is trying to find a way to say that he'll forgive him."
"Why ?", Catherine asked before she could help herself.
"Oh, that's just because Wu is the kind of guy to think he failed in his mission to protect Quatre, and he's also the kind of guy who could be a bit pissed off to the person who actually made him fail, in this occasion Quatre himself. I suppose they'll just settle it, and … see, there you go."
Quatre and Wufei bowed to each other, and smiled. Apparently, whatever they had said was to the satisfaction of both parts, and Wufei actually did look a bit less grumpy. Even if he didn't show it, Wufei was immensely relieved to see that Quatre was alright, and he could not possibly bear any grudge against him once the blond young man had promised he would explain everything to them and apologized. Everyone settled in the small living area of the trailer, and Trowa brought coffee for everyone.
Quatre explained everything as well as he could. Why he was there, the fact that he had received death threats, and the fact that he should not have sneaked out last night because of them, which explained why his friends had been worried. But he was very careful not to say too much, or at least not to say anything that could become a potential danger for Trowa and Catherine. He didn't mention Milliardo Peacecraft, nor any of the people who wanted him dead, nor the name of the killer sent after him ; he carefully avoided to mention that Heero had been the first one hired for the job, but somehow managed to tell a coherent story. Heero could almost see Quatre's mind running at top speed, deciding in seconds what he would say and what he would leave unsaid, while Quatre was maintaining the appearance of a friendly conversation with Catherine and Trowa.
No, Heero corrected himself, not the appearance of a friendly conversation. Quatre was friendly with Trowa and Catherine, in spite of the fact he had only met them last night. He trusted them, and cared about them enough to protect them. That ability of Quatre to get close to people like this was something Heero couldn't help envying, he who had always been taught do be defiant.
"Well, I just can't thank you enough for taking me in last night without questions", Quatre finished. "That was really kind of you, and I wish I could do more to thank you."
Catherine tried to look relaxed, but she was not doing a very good job of it. She still smiled good-naturedly.
"Well, I said it was okay last night, it's still true now. And, well, you are very nice and all, so I think it's okay to say you're welcome back anytime, uh, Trowa ?"
Trowa nodded.
"Thank you", Quatre laughed, "but I hope I will not have to borrow your couch again. I just reacted bad to that last fight and I didn't think before I took off. Next time I come, I'll make sure it's to see you two."
"We should be going, Quatre", Heero said suddenly.
"Yes, you're right. Thanks again, Catherine, Trowa."
"Uh, maybe Duo would like to clean up before you get out", Catherine said.
They all turned to look at Duo, who still had a splash of dried blood on his cheek. Duo grinned and accepted to be led to the tiny bathroom while the others gathered outside the trailer. Catherine took out a towel for him to use.
"So, Quatre and Heero are together, uh ?", she asked.
"I suppose they are", Duo sighed, a bit more somber all of a sudden.
"All the cute guys are gay and taken, that's not fair to girls I swear."
"I'm bi and free", Duo said.
"Really ? Are you going to ask me out, then ?"
"Well, hon, to be honest with you, I got nothin' against girls, but I still prefer guys, and that lil' bro of yours is quite yummy, you know."
"I know, and in case you're interested, you can make a move, 'cause I think he kinda likes you too."
Duo's head shot up.
"What ?"
"Oh, he's not gonna say it, but I know how to read that mask he calls a face", Catherine said casually. "He was very careful not to look at you, and he didn't say a word. Not that it's not usual, he doesn't talk that much, but I swear I saw him blush when you talked. Honest, you should try. He's been single for a long time now, and he had a bad breakup last, so I'm not sure he's ready for commitment, but hey, it's not here he's gonna meet an interesting guy !"
"And I'm an interesting guy ?"
"Yup."
"And you're ready to throw your bro into my arms even though you don't know me ?"
"Yup."
"Did anyone ever tell you you trust people too easily ?"
Catherine just smiled.
"I've been travelling with this circus since I was four. I visited all the colony clusters and the Earth, and I've met all kind of people, Duo. I know people. I know you're someone good, and you would not try to hurt someone intentionally. But then, there's also the fact that I am a knife thrower, one of the best you'll find, and that if you hurt my lil' bro, I could use you for practicing if I ever get shaky hands."
"Got yar point, Ma'am", Duo laughed.
He grew a bit more serious.
"Listen, I got things to figure out with Heero and Quatre, but … well if you say it's worth a try, I think I will be back."
Catherine smiled smugly. She had tried to get Trowa to date some people for ages, but after his last breakup, her brother had just closed himself and refused to open up to other people. He had reacted well to Quatre, she did not know why, and now he was looking at this bundle of energy that looked like a mischievous elf from under his bangs when he thought no one saw him, and he was blushing. Catherine didn't like playing matchmaker, but she wanted her brother to be happy. He was too shy to make the first move, but Duo was bold enough for two, Catherine thought as she escorted the young American outside.
She smiled some more as the four young men disappeared to the end of the carnival, reaching a black limousine that had come to take them back to their hotel. Trowa's green eyes were following a bouncing chestnut braid, and apparently, he was completely unaware that his sister was watching him with a lot of interest.
"So, Trowa", she said, "think you're going to go for it ?"
Trowa jumped, and blushed imperceptibly.
"I don't know what you're talking about", he said evenly, and turned back to finish his work with the animals.
But he went away a bit too quickly.
O.O.O.O.O
In the limousine, Quatre sat beside Wufei and left Heero and Duo to sit side by side in front of them. He was thinking of what he would tell them exactly. Wufei closed his eyes and leaned back in his seat, massaging his temples. Quatre reached out to stop him.
"Here, let me do it, you look worn out."
"Thanks", Wufei muttered.
"So Cat, what was the stunt all about ?", Duo asked.
"Oh, well, apparently, my father had the unpleasant surprise to discover that I was gay last night", Quatre answered casually, but his friends could see he was not taking it too well.
"You mean he never realized ?", Duo asked in disbelief.
"It certainly looks like he didn't", Quatre answered. "He was probably too busy with his company to even realize I was dating people."
"He was really mad ?"
Quatre sighed.
"Do you want the whole rant or can I skip the bit about 'my unfit sexual orientation' ?"
"That bad ?"
"Yes. I was granted the whole 'you have responsibilities to your family' speech, and all."
"I'm sorry, Cat."
"Don't be. It's not your fault if my father is sometime an intolerant bastard."
"Don't say that, Cat. You know he probably didn't mean half of it."
Quatre sighed again, still massaging Wufei's temples.
"I know, but I don't see that big a difference. It shouldn't be any of his business. I am free to date whomever I wish. And … and I honestly didn't think he could be so narrow-minded. I mean, I wasn't sure if he was angry with me or with himself. He sounded like … I don't know, like if he had raised me instead of Iria, I would have been 'normal'. It kind of made me lose it. I am normal, damn it ! I am just not the person he wants me to be, and it hurts his pride. Well, I am not going to pretend I am someone else just because it would make him feel better. He thought I wanted to date Relena, can you imagine ?"
"Well, she's nice, but … how can I say it … She's not a guy ?"
"I think he and Mrs Peacecraft were already trying to find a date for the wedding, and that enraged me so much I let everything out, and he understood, and so on. You know the rest."
They all fell silent. Quatre could feel that none of his friends were angry with him anymore. They didn't resent him for making them worry. Which didn't prevent him from feeling bad about it, but then, Quatre knew he would probably feel guilty for it for quite some time. At least, everything had been explained. But now he had to deal with Heero and Duo.
Once in front of Quatre's hotel suite, they all stopped. Quatre turned around to face his three friends.
"Okay, I need to talk to Duo first so that he can go and have some rest after that."
"I'll wait for him here", Wufei said.
"You don't have to, Wu-man …", Duo started.
"I know I don't have too and my name is still Wufei, Maxwell, don't think I'm too tired to let you go away with it", Wufei snapped a bit impatiently. "You need someone to help you with those scratches, and … I need someone to help me with mine", he added a bit reluctantly.
"Oh. Okay then", Duo said a bit stupidly.
Quatre turned to Heero.
"Just wait here with Wufei. Don't even think about going somewhere and returning later. I won't be long."
Heero nodded and went to sit beside Wufei on the bench in the corridor. Quatre grabbed Duo's wrist and began to make his way for his door, but suddenly stopped. He glared at both Heero and Duo.
"Oh, and while I think of it … if after that I catch you fighting over me again, I'll be sure to kick your ass to the moon and back and I'll ask Wufei to help me with it. Am I making myself clear ?"
Duo stammered something like "yessir!" and Heero nodded again, his eyes widened by stupor at hearing Quatre talk like this.
"You don't mind, 'Fei ?", Quatre asked maliciously.
"Not at all, Quatre", Wufei answered with the evil smirk of one who is about to crack a very bad joke. "Anything to make those two stop bickering like two high schoolers who want to ask the same guy to the prom."
The Chinese man earned the most murderous glare from Heero and an indignant yelp from Duo, but before the American could protest any further, Quatre steered him into his suite and slammed the door behind them. Wufei leant back on the wall and closed his eyes. He opened them again when he heard a metallic clanking noise. Heero had taken his guns out of their holsters and was disassembling them to clean them.
"Hey, just nudge me awake if I dozed off when they're done, okay ?", Wufei asked.
Heero looked a little shocked by the request, but he agreed with another of his silent nods. Wufei was too tired to read on his face that the killer was truly amazed by the fact that quite a lot of people lately were ready to put their lives in his hands, trustful that he would not, in spite of all the odds, hurt them.
O.O.O.O.O
Quatre took his jacket off, tossed it away and went to sit cross-legged on the bed.
"Okay, I'm listening, what was this all about ?", he asked.
Duo looked away.
"Well, we were looking at that window you used to get out when he arrived, and he kinda lost it when he realized you weren't there and we had no idea where you'd gone. So he accused me of not bein' able to take care of my friend, I snapped back, and that's when Wufei said he'd knock us out if we didn't stop."
"I see. Very mature from the two of you."
"Yeah, that's what Wu said too", Duo said bitterly.
Quatre sighed, got up, and hugged Duo very tight.
"Duo, you know I love you, right ?"
"I kinda figured that out, Cat."
"But you know you can't be the only one in my life."
"Kinda figured that out too."
"Come sit with me."
They both sat down on the bed. Duo was avoiding Quatre's eyes, but the blond young man would not let that happen. He caught Duo's chin and forced him to look at him.
"You know what I am going to tell you, don't you, Duo ?", he said very softly.
"I think I do, Cat, but … maybe it's best you say it out loud, then I can't pretend I didn't hear it."
Quatre gathered Duo in his arms in a strange protecting gesture. He could feel the confusion coming from his friend, the painful realization that Quatre was in love, and that the person he was in love with was not Duo. Not anymore.
"Duo, do you remember the time when we were together ?"
Duo nodded against Quatre's chest, not trusting his voice not to shake right now.
"Those were the best days of my life, Duo. I can't ever forget what you brought into the empty and hollow thing my life was. You brought me back when my empathy was too much for me to cope alone. You took care of me, although I had promised I would be the one to take care of you and Hilde."
Duo didn't dare moving, and he wondered if he had breathed during all that.
"I love you, Duo, because you are the most wonderful friend one could ever hope to have. You brought things into my life that I didn't know existed. You taught me to love, Duo. You were the first person I truly and unconditionally loved, and I will never forget it, whatever happens. There is always a place for you in my heart, and that will never change. I will be yours forever."
Quatre laid a kiss on the top of Duo's hair.
"But we both knew it couldn't work, Duo. You said it yourself, and you were right. You were not the person I needed. But you seemed to forget something, Duo."
"What was that ?", Duo whispered.
"I know it hurt you to realize that we were no good as lovers. I know what you felt, and I hope I made you understand that I didn't love you less for that. It even made me love you more, that you were considerate enough to step back when we both understood it would lead us nowhere. I am not sure many people would have done it, but you did. But you forgot it was working both ways."
"What do you mean ?", Duo asked, frowning.
"You were not the person I was looking for, Duo."
"Yeah, I think we established that quite some time ago, Cat", Duo groaned, not really liking to be taken back to that period of time.
"Shh, Duo, listen to me please. I was not the person you needed either. So you see, if we had stayed together, it would not have been fair to you."
Duo's eyes widened.
"You always made me go first, Duo", Quatre kept on, still hugging his friend close. "You always made my happiness go before yours, and I thank you for it, but now you have to stop. I know you swore you would see me happy, Duo, but I want you to be happy too. You can't spend your life forgetting to look for your special one because you're watching over me. When was the last time you had a serious date, Duo ?"
Duo snorted.
"Can't remember. I guess you're right, and my last serious date was you, uh ? How pathetic is that ?"
"It's not pathetic, Duo ! And I won't let you talk that way ! You are not pathetic. You … you just didn't think about yourself. You took care of me, you took care of Hilde, you took care of everyone around you with a smile on your face and you forgot about yourself. But did you really think I couldn't hear you crying ?"
Duo smiled, but not his usual carefree grin. A crooked sad little smile.
"Of course, I should have known. I …"
"It's okay, Duo. Really. I understand why you reacted this way, but … I love Heero, Duo. For real. Not the same way I love you, and he will never take your place in my heart. I mean, you were my first love, it's not something I can forget that easily, can I ?"
Duo let out a little strangled laugh, but he felt strangely warmed by those words, and he knew if he tried to talk, he would probably start crying, and to hell if he was going out of this room to face the lucky bastard Heero was with puffy eyes.
"You have to let me go, Duo. Please. You have to start living for yourself. You're beautiful, you're talented, you have your whole life to live, and half of the galaxy is in love with you. Anyone would be honored to be your soul mate. You're just not mine, and I was sad about it too, you know. But when you will find that person, he or she will be the happiest person of the universe, because they have the incredible chance to be loved by Duo Maxwell. Hey, I can't believe it every day, that I have the chance to be loved by Duo Maxwell."
Too late, Duo thought as the tears started to roll down his cheeks. He looked up, violet eyes filled with so much tenderness and love and care that Quatre felt his eyes starting to water too. The blond young man held out a hand to wipe away the tears from his friend's face.
"Don't do that", he whispered. "If you cry, I am going to cry too."
"Can't help it, KittyCat. I … well I won't say it doesn't hurt, but … you're right, you know. And … and I think I knew it all along, I just didn't want to be left behind, that's all, so I fooled myself."
"You will most certainly not be left behind, Duo", Quatre said determinedly. "You are a part of my life, and a damn important one, and Heero will have to deal with it. Period."
Duo smiled between his tears.
"Okay, then, I'll take my revenge on him. Just … you promise you'll be happy, Cat ?"
"I promise if you promise too."
"Scout's honor."
"Okay then."
They both burst out laughing a bit hysterically.
"See that, Duo ? That is a thing I need in my life and only you can do that. Not to mention you need to do the best friend part if me and Heero have a fight and I need a nice person to hear me out while I complain."
"I can do that", Duo agreed, still laughing. "Then I can tell him if he doesn't make you happy I'll kill him."
"You already did that."
"Oh yeah ! Silly me !"
Silence fell as the two friends quietly smiled to each other. Quatre could feel that Duo was still sad, but he was more relaxed now, appeased. Everything had been said and was clear, and Duo would stick to what he said. If there was something he took seriously in life, it was the fact that he didn't lie. Discovering he had been lying to himself was probably not a good experience, but Quatre trusted him to get over it.
"Okay, I'll go patch up the Wu-man and hit the sheets, Cat. Take care will you ? And you'd better chew his head out as you did to me."
"Oh, I will, don't worry about it."
O.O.O.O.O
Heero and Wufei got up when Duo got out of Quatre's room, yawning widely and followed by Quatre.
"We're good and I'm still alive", the American laughed. "Come on, Wu, let's go lick our wounds. Oh, and" he turned to Heero grinning maliciously "good luck Hee-chan ! You'll need it, honest !"
And he disappeared into Wufei's room, leaving three stunned young men behind.
"What did he call me ?", Heero suddenly said.
"Uh, I think that was 'Hee-chan'", Wufei said.
"Is he suicidal ?"
"Not that I know of", Quatre said, looking wide-eyed at Wufei's closed door.
"Am I having sleep-deprivation induced hallucinations ?"
"I don't think so", Wufei said. "I used to think he had a death wish when he provoked those killers in the alley, but I never imagined it went that far."
"Uh, Wufei, just go and make sure he gets some rest, okay ?", Quatre said. "And have some sleep too. I'll ask Rashid to cover for you today. No complaints !", he added hastily when both Heero and Wufei opened their mouths to protest. "You've done more than enough for me, and it's my fault you didn't get any sleep last night."
"But …", Wufei started.
"I said no complaints", Quatre cut him. "I give you the day off."
And he dragged Heero into his room, leaving no other choice to Wufei than going into his own room and being patched up by a hyperactive American.
O.O.O.O.O
When he got into the room, Heero tensed. He knew, partly, what was coming, and although he felt he deserved it, that didn't make it any easier. Quatre stopped abruptly and turned around, piercing Heero's eyes with his own.
"Okay, first thing first. I am very pissed at both Duo and you for fighting over me. I seem to remember telling you during our first conversation that Duo was an important part of my life and that you would have to accept him. If you are not able to do that, then by all means feel free to walk out the door, I won't keep you back."
This was so not what Heero expected that all he was able to do was open his mouth, closing it, and opening it again, thus demonstrating that he could do quite a good imitation of a fish. Finally he found his voice back.
"Go … Gomen nasai", he whispered.
Quatre smiled gently, and tugged Heero's sleeve to make him sit on the bed.
"You have to understand, Heero, that Duo was the first true friend I ever had. He was my first lover. He was part of my life before I even knew you existed. And he is not going to evaporate just because I have someone else in my life. He is not going away."
"I understand", the careful reply came.
"Good. I talked to him, and it appears he just needed to clear things in his head. He just had to realize that I am big boy now and I don't need to be watched 24/7. And also that he was allowed to have a life of his own. Everything is very clear between us, so there won't be any more problems. But prepare to be mercilessly teased."
Heero winced, which made Quatre laugh.
"Alright", the blond young man said. "You don't need to explain anything right away. I think I understand quite well why you reacted that way. Tonight, I'll ask of a full account of what happened, and then we will talk … about us, and about why you are doubting this relationship."
Taken by surprise, Heero jumped. Of course, he was probably sending out waves of confusion and questions, but he didn't expect it to be so obvious. But to an empath, a lot of things were obvious that were invisible to normal people.
Quatre smiled kindly again, wishing he could ease the confusion now, but there was much he had to do, and Heero had not slept in almost thirty hours. Quatre knew what his decision was, and he did not regret it one bit. It was almost strange that it was Heero who was having doubts and not him, but it made sense in a way. He had started this, and dumped on Heero a billionaire lover and an empathic bond, all of a sudden. When Heero was only starting to cope about his own emotional problems. Yes, there were lots to talk about, and Quatre knew what he was going to say. If he had doubted before, that fight with his father had made it all clear in his head. He would live as he chose, and if his father had a problem with it, then Quatre would be only to happy to remove the 'unfit son' he was away from his sight.
"Take your shoes and pants off, Heero", he said, turning to go to the bathroom.
Heero turned a deep shade of red and looked up, not really sure he had heard that well.
"N … nani ?"
Quatre turned around, discovered Heero's new skin color and burst out laughing.
"You have a cut on your thigh, idiot ! I can't clean it through your pants, so you'll have to take them off. And anyway, you won't sleep in your pants, uh ?"
Quatre disappeared into the bathroom to get the first-aid kit and Heero found himself wondering why his thoughts had suddenly started wandering in uncharted territory. Then, what Quatre had said was processed by his brain, and he frowned. Did Quatre expect him to sleep here ?
"Okay", Quatre said, coming out of the bathroom, "I think I have everything I need."
"Quatre, I should probably go."
"No."
Heero raised his eyebrows at the stubborn reply.
"What do you mean, no ?"
"I mean no. Iie. Nein. Pick one. I don't want you to go anymore. This is stupid, and I feel safer if you're around me. I feel less scared that someone is going to stumble on your body in an alley too. I want you to stay with me from now on."
"But, your father, your …"
"I don't care what they say, and we are so not starting this conversation now", Quatre said, applying something on the cut in Heero's thigh. "I just want you to stay with me, Heero. You need some sleep. You can use my bed once I'm gone, and we'll find some time for you to go and fetch your clothes, your laptop and everything you need. From now on, you're staying with me, and if anyone asks questions, you can say I hired you for close protection."
Quatre looked up, smiling a bit lasciviously.
"Very close protection", he added in a whisper.
Heero felt himself redden, cursed himself for it and cursed Quatre for being the only one who could do that to him. Then, he went back to a part of Quatre's speech that had made him cringe.
"Once you're gone ? Where are you going ?"
Quatre smiled.
"I came here to set up charity programs in the beginning, Heero. I have work to do, people to see, and papers to sign. I'll have Rashid come with me, I swear. But you are going to have some sleep, and don't even think about not being here when I come back."
Heero couldn't do anything else but nod. He was feeling more tired than he should have. He had not engaged into any very strenuous activity by his standards. He could only assume that the emotional charge was what made everything so exhausting. So he didn't protest when Quatre just tucked him in his bed before going into the dressing room to change. He didn't hear him leave the room.