Disclaimer:Eight chapters later, they still aren't mine.
Important A/N's: Hmm, where to begin? That is the question.
This story has come a long way! Lots of planning and thinking, it's sadly over though. Annick and I had a kick ass time writing it. We really hoped you liked it as much as we did. We want to say thank you to every single person that's reviewed. That ALWAYS made us happy and we appreciated everything you said. We had no idea the feedback would turn out this great!
Besides people on fan fiction, I've gotta say thanks to everybody on fanforum! You guys are the best and thanks for all the encouragement! I'll miss your chants, but this is for you!
And lastly, I want to give a huge thanks to Annick! She was the brilliant one who came up with this idea! If it weren't for her there would be no story in the first place! So, even though I "hate" you at times because you're a…haha, I won't say what 'you are', I still love ya! You're the best and thanks for letting me write this for you! Catfight Productions for life, woman! And…I don't know maybe we'll even be friends after this is over. Wink-wink.
So after almost 2 weeks of waiting, here's the final chapter. I hope you guys enjoy the ending.
Beware: it's long and fluffy. But after this long, I think you guys deserve the fluff!
And please review! We're dying to know what you think!
Chapter 8: Chasing Destiny
It was a rude awakening, the sound of his cell phone buzzing, but he insists on having it on vibrate. Lorelai said that was always called for a 'dirty!' though he thought the sound of ringing was annoying and painful to the ears.
Who could possibly be calling? He wondered. He hadn't had any contact with the outside world for 10 days. Straight after he heard Lorelai say…what she did…he bolted and went to the first place that came to his mind. His cabin.
He would have stayed in town and tried to resolve things with her for both of their own goods, but not after what he heard her say. And though he tried not to jump to conclusions, he knew it was to Christopher…it was his car after all, not some strangers.
And it wasn't all because it was Christopher, the reason he got so mad. The other part was because he and Lorelai had never said I love you to each other. Often times Luke wanted to say he loved her but the timing or setting never felt right. And it wasn't because he didn't mean it because God knows he's meant it and known it for years.
But someone was calling and if he wouldn't stop reminiscing, he'd miss the call. It's not like that'd be bad, because it wouldn't…but it would mean the stupid person would probably keep calling back.
He picked up his cell phone and cursed himself for not getting a phone with caller ID.
"Hello?" He cleared his throat upon hearing his scratchy voice.
"Is this Luke?" A man chirped from the other line.
"Uh yeah, this is Luke." He sat up and looked around his room. "Who's this?"
"Ah, Luke. It's great to speak to you. The name's Sam…I'm new to Stars Hollow."
"Well uh, I'm sorry about that." He said in all seriousness.
"What are you sorry about? The place is great! The people are great! Everything's just…great."
Luke coughed and cleared his throat again, hoping to get the guy to move on.
"Anyways, I'm calling about the diner."
Luke's eyes widened. He had almost forgotten about putting the diner up for sale. This was the first call he got.Damn Stars Hollow for being such a small town, he thought as he realized this Sam character probably got his cell phone from one of the stupid townies because the number on the For Sale poster was for the diner's agency.
"What about the diner?" He asked harshly.
"I'm interested in buying it! Real interested actually."
The thought of turning him down crossed his mind. What would he do without the diner? Sure he didn't expect to stay in the cabin forever…but he didn't expect to hear Lorelai say I love you to somebody else either.
Things happen.
"Uh, that's great. Renting of buying?"
"Buying of course."
"Well…I'm not in town right now…but I can arrange to come see you in person so we could discuss some of the things and sign some of the papers." He offered.
"Great. Well when are you going to be home?"The word 'home' stung him like a bee. It sounded so foreign to him. Especially since right now, he didn't exactly have a 'home.'
"Whenever you need me I guess."
"Great. How about you come by tomorrow? We could check things out and if things so as well as I hope they do…you can stick around for the Christmas party. Maybe you can give me the 'scoop' on all the weird people in town."
"Meet you at the what?"
"The Christmas party. Oh, you probably didn't know about it. It's at the Dragonfly Inn. I'm not sure how long you've been gone so you might not know…there's a pretty new local inn—"
"Yeah I know what the Dragonfly is." He said rolling his eyes. "I haven't been gone for 7 months ya know."
"Well anyways…they're having a Christmas party. We could meet at the diner if you'd like tomorrow around 4 or so, and then if things go as well as I plan for them to go, you can stick around for the party…Tuesday."
Luke thought about the plans and realized there was no way that he could stick around for 5 days. But if he had to make the effort to be on a good note with Sam, he would have to go, at least for a little while.
Then the thought of Lorelai crossed his mind. He couldn't face her. He really couldn't, no matter how much he wanted too.
"Actually I don't think—"
"Hold on." He said cutting him off. "I'm talking to Luke!" He heard Sam call out. "Yes, the Luke we may be buying the diner from if you could be quiet…sorry Luke. Wife's getting a little antsy."
"Uh that's fine…"
"So tomorrow…I'll see you around 5?"
"Well Sam, that will work but you see—" He tried his absolute hardest to say he couldn't come to the party but he kept cutting him off.
"Sorry to cut this short but I've got another phone call I've got to take. See you tomorrow Luke."
"Yeah." The phone went dead and Luke slowly put it down. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said leaning his head against the headboard, rubbing his eyes and sighing.
"Well…" he said out loud, "if I'm going to make this change official, I'll have to see her at least once."
He laid back down and tried to fall asleep.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Ring! Ring!
The next morning, Lorelai opened her eyes and squinted at the sunlight, grabbing her phone from the side of her bed.
"Hello?" She mumbled.
"Wake up sleepy head!"
"Sookie?"
"You told me to call you and wake you up…your alarm doesn't work anymore…"
"Yeah, yeah. I know. I'm up…"
"So, get on up."
"I am."
"Alright, well…I'll take your word on that. I'll call you later sweetie."
"Ok, thanks Sook." She closed her phone and held it in her hands for a few minutes.
Opening her eyes again, she opened the phone to see the date.
December 18th the bold letters read. She couldn't help but think how late it was getting…it would be Christmas soon and once again she had no one to spend it with…besides Rory.
It had been weeks since she had talked to him. About three weeks…and she pretty much lost hope on him calling. She could call him…the thought has crossed her mind plenty of times…but she wasn't the one that left. He did. And it was his responsibility.
If he didn't want to call, fine.
She got out of bed and glanced at the clock. 11:00.
Sookie was supposed to call at 10:30 but whatever. What's an extra 30 minutes?
She went straight into the shower, prepping up for her day off. She had a few things she wanted to do. First and foremost, clean her closet and dresser. He used to have a few sets of clothes at her house. He kept them in the bottom shelf of her drawer even though she complained that's where her sweat pants were. He always said he'd take them out if it made her feel better but she insisted otherwise.
When it came to Lorelai, there were never any questions. If she wanted something one way, he'd so his best to do it that way. His number one goal in their relationship was to make her happy, because making her happy instantly made him happy.
And though their relationship started out so fragile, so new and inexperienced that it could almost 'break' at anytime because they have no previous familiarity, he tried his absolute hardest to make things work because this was the way he wanted to spend his time. With her.
When she got out of the shower, she flew to her closet, putting on her robe and ran downstairs. It hit her quickly, her desperate need for coffee at that specific moment.
As she walked down the stairs, she avoided the left side of the third step down because it had an annoying creak that occurred when stepped on. She walked around the corner, gazing out the foggy glass of the front door, peeking at the fresh blanket of snow lying across her yard. It must have snowed last night.
She turned the coffee on and waited impatiently at the table, glancing over to check on the pot every few seconds. When it was finally full, she poured herself a cup and sat down on the couch in the living room, sipping her coffee slowly while gazing out the window.
She had missed him. A lot. Really, like nothing else before. She never really had the opportunity to miss somebody so much...in this scenario especially.
Sure, she had missed Max when he was away on business before they got married...or Jason when he had business trips with her dad, though she missed his company more than the actual presence of him.
She knew right away he wasn't a soul mate, Jason, but she enjoyed having somebody to bond with. Even though at times, it scared her that he was so much like her, she figured it was a good thing…to date somebody who was exactly like you. Someone who loves coffee, hates their parents, eats the same food as you, watches the same movies as you...she thought they were a match made in heaven...without the actual physical and mental attraction. That's where she went wrong.
But with Luke, she knew it was right. And it could have been because they spent 8 years dancing around each other, waiting for the absolute perfect time to finally realize who they both were...especially together. How happy the two of them could be if they ever got their acts together.
And they finally did, this being probably one of the smartest moves she's ever made before. And we all know Lorelai has a sense to make the wrong decisions.
Yes, we definitely know all of that now.
Her trait to screw things up was a specialty she tried to avoid at all costs with Luke because he was something different and the feeling of unfamiliarity made her sting with anticipation, always wondering what would be next. It was the surprises, the secret calls, meetings, date...the little things that counted with Luke.
It was the fact that he made her laugh more than any other guy before. He was the only guy who could make Lorelai feel the way she did around him. Free, herself-not the constant feeling of needing to impress somebody. She felt alive when she was with him, the constant need to be kissing him, or holding onto his arm. The fact that when she'd sleep at his house, she'd always get him to sleep in later causing the diner to open later cause he didn't call Caesar in advance.
She almost felt like a wife, without the actual label, though in her eyes he was the one she pictured herself to be with. And sure, it all seems very girly and corny, two words that don't pair well together, but maybe that's why she liked him as much as she did. He made her feel different. Happy. Absolutely happy. Unlike any other happiness before.
And as she thought of all the happy times they shared together while sipping her steaming coffee, gazing out the window, she realized: he wasn't going to call.
If he wanted to talk to her, it would have been weeks ago. Fine, maybe days ago, but at least some time ago. If he wanted to be with her, she wouldn't be sitting her lazy ass on the couch on December 18th, weeks after they had last talked.
Clearly, he had moved on. And though the memories they shared were absolutely unforgettable, the way he made her feel, she figured the time to let go is now.
She put her cup on the table and walked upstairs in a huff. She headed half way up the stairs before turning around quickly and walking back down towards the closet in the hall. She opened it up and looked in the back, ducking underneath coats that were at this point, falling on top of her head.
"Got it!" She said out loud in victory. She pulled out a large empty brown box and climbed up the stairs to her room.
She threw it on the floor and opened the bottom drawer.
"Everyone deserves at least there very own box." She mumbled.
She sat herself on the ground in front of her dresser and examined the contents in it.
"Never mind." She huffed. "First things first."
She got up and opened her closet, searching for her number one favorite shirt. The blue plaid one she always kept to herself. She hid it in the back of her closet so he couldn't find it. It was the same shirt she wore on their first date…and the last shirt of his that he saw her in.
She grabbed it from the hanger and plopped it in the box. Followed by that, she sat on the ground again and looked in the bottom drawer. She took out two tee shirts he kept there, a grey one and a white one. She smelt them quickly to see if his scent still remained on them but it didn't. She was almost disappointed but suddenly realized what she was doing.
"If he's not going to call…fine." She said out loud to herself. "Then I'm not going to wait."
She took a few more things out of the dresser and put them in the box before getting up and grabbing his belt from the chair in the corner of her room. It was actually the same belt that she got him a few years back.
As she reached for that, she caught something from the corner of her eye. The image of a glossy photo lying on top of her dresser rested there carefully. It was a picture that Rory took of her and Luke a few months ago. It was during movie night and Rory had just got them refills of their drinks. Lorelai rested her head in the crook of his shoulder, legs thrown over his lap. Very flexible, a quality they both enjoyed. Yes, dirty.
She told Rory to try and take a picture of them. She turned around as she heard Rory walk in and pointed to the table where the camera rested. She mouthed 'now' to her and Rory called Luke's name. As soon as he turned around she took a picture. He had his mouth open, ready to speak, as Lorelai sat there laughing. It was a cute picture.
But it had to go.
She threw it in the box and went threw the other drawers in her dresser.
She went straight to the bottom of the middle shelf because that's where all the clothes she hadn't worn in a while were. She saw a pair of pajamas that looked like they hadn't been worn in a while. She took them out of the dresser and examined them.
It was a slinky white tank top with little fish on them with matching little shorts.
"Me? Fish?" She asked herself out loud. "Oh my God."
It hit her like the need for coffee…where Luke is staying
Late July
"You know, you're the first person that I've ever brought here." He said, placing the key in the door.
"I feel special." She said childishly, a silly grin on her face.
He turned the door knob and looked up at her, smiling. "You are."
Simple things like that made her stomach flutter.
They walked into the cabin. It was old. It smelt like burnt wood and pine trees. It almost smelt good to Ms. Sheltered over there. It was small and simple. All one big room with the exception of a small bedroom and a tiny bathroom. There was a small fireplace enclosed in the wall near the back. She walked over and looked at a ledge where there was a picture of an older couple. It was certainly old, placed in a simple silver frame. She picked it up from the ledge and studied the couple.
Luke walked up in back of her and put an arm around her waist.
"Those are my parents."
Lorelai smiled softly, turning her head over her shoulder to look at Luke.
"They make a beautiful couple." She said in all honesty. "No wonder where you got your good looks from."
She set the frame back on the ledge and turned around in his arms, kissing him softly.
"Thanks for bringing me here."
He nodded.
"I know you're not very big on bringing people down here."
"It's nothing special." He said nonchalantly.
"I know. It's just nice to see where you go every once and a while."
"I guess it is."
She walked into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Nice bed." She said suggestively.
Luke smiled and sat down next to her.
"Hey Luke?" She laid down on her back, legs still planted on the floor.
"Yeah?" He gazed down at her.
"Do you think your parents would have liked me?" She asked, studying the ceiling.
He grabbed her hand and caressed it softly. "They would have loved you."
She sat up quickly and studied his face. "Really? You're not just saying that?" She pestered.
"You know-and I mean this as a compliment though it might sound sort of weird-you remind me of my mom."
"Uh, I'm glad to know that when we..." she bit her lip, "make love, I remind you of your mom."
"Did I say that's when you remind me of my mom?" He asked, slightly disgusted. She laughed it off.
"No."
"I mean, your personality is a lot like hers. She was very quirky and witty, always the last to say something in a discussion. She was quite stubborn to, come to think of it. She bossed my dad around like no other."
"Ah, did she?" She said raising her eyebrows.
"But he was in love with her." He gazed off to the side, and then averted his eyes back into Lorelais. "He didn't care what she did."
"Aw," she leaned her face closer to his, "that's so sweet."
"Yeah."
She kissed him passionately, smiling through the kiss.
"We'll save that for later, mister. I do believe I said I'd make you dinner..."
"Man I'm looking forward to that. Sure I shouldn't just dump a bunch of my food in the dirt? Might taste the same."
She ignored his comment. "And a lady never breaks a promise..."
"...The chances of getting food poisoning are probably the same..."
"...But this promise can be broken." She pushed him to the side. "I'll show you what food poisoning is" she laughed, leaning over and kissing him feverishly.
After a few minutes of 'wrestling' on the bed, she pulled him up and fixed his collar on his shirt.
"Come on. Let's get dinner started."
"I thought you said I couldn't help."
"I did."
"My mistake. I thought that let's-meaning let us- get dinner started meant you and I." He said sarcastically.
"Stop it." She shoved him out of the door. "Go sit on the couch and watch TV." He walked over to the couch and followed her rules.
"I'll watch TV even though I think watching you would be more entertaining."
"Shush, you." She looked over at the TV he was turning on. "My God, that's a small TV."
"Yeah well I'm not here often. No need to waste my money on a big one."
"Wise man you are. Anyone ever tell you that?"
"Oh, all the time." He grinned and turned his attention back to the TV while Lorelai started the food.
About half way into the process, a life saving phone call from Rory arrived.
"Hello?" She opened her phone and rested it on her shoulder as she tried stirring the contents in the bowl at the same time.
"Hi mom!"
"Oh. Hi Rory. What's up?"
"Nothing really, I was just walking back from my class...I thought I'd give you a call."
"Well—ouch—that's very thoughtful of you."
"Yeah, I thought so. Where are you? You sound sorta fuzzy."
"And here I thought that was impossible." She joked.
"And you are…"
"Actually…I am at Luke's cabin." Lorelai said, clearly still amazed at the way it sounded.
"Huh. You don't say!"
"I…do say."
"You're kidding. Man that's strange."
"Uh, no I'm not kidding. I'm sorry—why is that strange?"
"I just never thought Luke would let you go to his cabin, that's all."
"Well he did and…I'm here. Cooking him dinner actually."
"Oh, now please tell me you're kidding about that."
"Funny, funny girl I birthed."
"…Because if you weren't, I'd call health services right now."
"…I know the wittiness skipped the Emily Gilmore generation, but never did it fail to skip you."
"…We can actually call them together on three way, it'll be sort of fun. We could switch off every sentence to confuse the guy."
"Now that's my always-wanting-to-confuse-people girl I raised."
"Sorry it's just…you, cooking?"
"Humorous, yes I know, but none the less, it will be good."
Luke laughed in the background while Lorelai rolled her eyes. She turned around to grab a spoon and hit her side on the rim of the counter.
"Ouch!" She screamed into the phone.
"Are you okay?" Luke turned to her quickly and began walking towards her.
"What happened?" Rory asked on the phone.
"I hit my hip on the side of the counter. And it was pointy!" Lorelai wailed.
Luke walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, massaging her left side lightly, making her automatically feel better at his touch.
"Are you okay?"
"Mmm hmm." Lorelai mumbled into the phone, incoherent thoughts passing by as Luke stayed close to her. "I'm gunna go sweetie. I'll talk to you later though."
"Okay. Enjoy yourself. And…don't make Luke eat your food. Especially if you like having him around."
"In a little while, he won't be the one that's not around."
"I'm just saying—"
"This is me hanging up now."
"Bye."
Lorelai turned around and wrapped her arms around Luke's waist, pulling him into a hug as she rested her head on his chest.
"Rory thinks you'll die if you eat my food."
He kissed the top of her head and patted her back. "I won't…die."
She raised her head and looked at him. "Yes you will. Screw this."
She took of the mini-apron she was wearing and threw it on the floor.
"Come on." She grabbed his hand and led him into the bedroom, slamming the door behind them.
xxx
Breathless, they lied partially on top of each other, legs intertwined.
"You know…" Lorelai said in-between breaths; "If you did eat the food I made…you would have worked off all the calories just now."
"I wasn't worried about working off the calories. I was worried about working off the stomach ache."
"Well, we all know how to cure a stomach ache."
Luke grumbled. "Don't be gross."
"No grossness coming from me." She said, pretending to seal her lips.
"Come on, let's get up and go eat something. I'm starving."
Lorelai got out of bed and walked over to her overnight bag, taking out a pair of little pajama's she got especially for the trip.
"Look at these." She said, proudly holding a tank and shorts with fishes on them. "I got them because I thought we'd go fishing."
"Are you serious?" He asked almost laughing. Not only was it to cold to go fishing, but Lorelai would never agree to join him.
"Not serious at all. I just got them because fish remind me of cabins."
He questioned her thinking but moved on. "If you say so."
They both got re-dressed, Lorelai into her pajamas, Luke into sweat pants and a tee shirt, a look Lorelai always admired.
Luke made them both dinner and they ate at the little wooden table in his kitchen.
"Yummy, cow. Just the way I like it too." She looked over at Luke's plate and grimaced. "Hey does your turkey want to play with my cow?"
"That was incredibly dirty." He mumbled before taking a bite of his turkey burger.
"I'm a dirty princess." She smiled foolishly and took a bite of her real burger.
"That, I know."
"I know you know."
"I know you know I know."
Lorelai laughed. "I know you know I know you know."
"You're four."
"No I'm not. Cause if I were, me being your girlfriend would absolutely be illegal." She giggled.
"You're right. Sorry. You're two."
"Well if I'm two what the hell does that make you? Are you four?"
"Eat your burger."
"Yes, sir."
When dinner was finished, it was already almost 9:00. They vetoed the idea of watching a movie and went straight to the bedroom.
"So, what do you say? Role-play tonight? I could be the dirty princess we were talking about before and you can be my incredibly sexy prince who I just can't resist? Gosh, I'm a genius. Humor and rhyming, folks. Yes, that is Lorelai Gilmore."
"Do you ever shut up?" He said kissing her in attempt to quit the talking. "You know, I don't know why you bought these pajamas. We're you really expecting to wear them this whole weekend?"
"Dirty!" She giggled as he gently lowered her onto the bed.
She took one long stare at the pajamas and threw them, not quiet making it in the box, instead landing on the floor.
She got up, put on the first pair of clothes she could find because a robe wouldn't work for this and left.
No makeup, no hair fixing, no shoes, no purse, no nothing.
Illegal in so many different ways, she got in the car and left before she could turn back.
xxx
Sure enough, two hours later she was in front of Luke's cabin. There were no cars around. She figured he had parked in the back of the cabin, but didn't care to look.
The whole ride up she had been thinking of things to say. It wasn't going to be an 'I'm sorry' speech. That's one thing she for sure had figured out.
It would be more of a final farewell. Believing her thoughts, that Luke just wasn't going to come back home, she wanted to at least say bye. Bye and thanks. Thanks for not calling, thanks for leaving her without any notice, thanks for ever caring, thanks for making her hurt…and thanks for everything before anything. Sure it didn't make sense, but in her head it did. Really and truly, thanks for being you, because believe it or not, he was supposed to be the one.
Supposed being the keyword.
There was no door bell on the cabin...a simple engraved door knocker...dirty...sat still on the door frame. She could either knock using that, or her hand. She thought the knocker would be too loud and for some reason, silence was ideal at a moment like this.
Standing still, nervous with fear, she lifted her hand and that itself was progress. Knocking was all she had to do. It wasn't that hard, was it? Just lift your hand and...go. She knocked loudly a few times and tapped her foot in anticipation, head facing down. After about a minute and still no answer, she figured he didn't hear it...after all, she was very quiet. This time she used more force and pounded more loudly but there was still no answer.
Leaving was a possibility but not after the drive up there, even though there wasn't much more she could do. He wasn't there. Either he had left the cabin, or...he wasn't there to begin with. There was only one way to find out.
She placed her hand on the door knob and opened it slowly, peeking her head in before anything else.
"Luke" She said quietly. The place certainly smelt like him...that's for sure. "Luke are you in here" Well aware that he wasn't, she walked into the cabin and shut the door behind her.
She walked into the kitchen and looked in the sink where there were a few cups and plates sitting. She opened the fridge and saw food which was a good sign. She knew that snooping around Luke's cabin wasn't a good idea but she was doing it anyways. She walked over to the main room and scanned the coffee table-even though he didn't drink coffee-to examine the contents upon it. Some sports magazine, a TV guide, some sort of fishing tool (or at least she figured)...nothing special. The room looked clean, remotely as if nobody had been there.
She walked toward his bedroom, sighing as she approached the door...recalling the happy memories they shared there. She walked to his side of the bed...the left, and sat on the bed, fixed in a trance until she noticed something that made her stomach drop.
His hat...was most certainly not on his head. His hat was on the floor. Clearly.
Her mouth opened as she picked up his hat and examined everything about it. Amazed that he wasn't wearing it...he always wears it...unless they're on a date. Her stomach dropped yet again as the thought of Luke dating another woman passed through her mind. But the thought was a passing ship...nothing more.
She got up and stood in front of the mirror hanging on the wall. She put the hat on her, the correct way, and grimaced at the image. She turned it around and smiled faintly at herself. She took the hat off and kept it in her hands, intending on taking it home with her.
She walked outside of his room and looked around for a piece of paper. She could leave him a note. Or she could call him from the cabin phone...but that would be creepy, she figured. Sort of like the way Kirk called from her house because the alarm was going off.
She'd have to go; it would be the wise move. At least she could say she tried.
She walked to the door and left before looking behind herself again. Maybe he'd notice she was there...maybe he wouldn't. Either way, it really didn't matter.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
It was getting late when she finally got back into Stars Hollow. Her plan was to get home, take a cold shower and go to sleep...that is after she put Luke's hat in her box. She pulled up to the stop light near the diner and kept her eyes away from the building like she always does but this time something really caught her eye. Luke was standing outside of the diner. Her Luke. Well, not necessarily hers anymore but her old Luke. Some guy had just walked away from Luke but she couldn't quiet make out who it was. He was heading back towards the diner door but suddenly turned back to his car and opened the passenger's door. It looked like he was looking for something but she couldn't tell because for all she knows, he could be getting ready to leave.
The light turned green and she had no idea what to do. Either see him or not...it wasn't a hard decision.
She went straight and pulled into a parking spot across the street from his car.
He was still in the passengers side, looking threw the contents in the glove box when she walked across the street. Her heart was racing at about 100 MPH as she clutched her hands and walked up to him. It was amazing to see him...nerve wrecking, but amazing none the less.
He pulled out of the car as soon as she walked up to him. The first thing she noticed was his old baseball hat on his head but at the moment, she tried to ignore that. He held his breath as he made the first eye contact he had made with her since they broke up. They both stood there staring for a moment, taking in the awkwardness that was passing threw them both.
"Luke." She said nervously. "Hi."
He shut the car door. "Hi."
"Uh, what-what are you doing here" She asked, still unable to get a grasp on herself.
He put his hands in his pockets, a sign of nervousness. "I had to meet with a guy who's interested in the diner."
Lorelai swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "Oh. So. How...are you?"
"I'm fine, but I have to go now." He started walking around to the other side of the car.
At this point Lorelai knew she had to do something, she just wasn't sure what.
"So is there how we're going to be now? After spending months of being together, we hit one little bump in the road and we can never talk again"
"What's the point, Lorelai? It's not like you care. Because truthfully, it sounded like you could careless when you were saying you love Christopher." He barked.
"What" Lorelai practically jumped. "What the hell are you talking about"
"You know very well what I'm talking about." He got into his car and closed the door.
"I don't know what you're talking about Luke."
He rolled his window down and stared at her for a good long moment.
"Well then that's too damn bad."
Déjà vu. Damn them for being so stubborn.
As he drove away, Lorelai stood there in the street more confused than ever. What did he mean I told Christopher she loves him? She never said she loves-
Her eyes widened. "Oh man." She said out loud, realizing what he was talking about.
But it was too late to run after him because he was already way down the road. All she knew was there was only one way to fix this and it had to be done.
Now the only question is: when will she see him again?
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Monday at the Inn was hectic. Lorelai got there around 6, prepping up for the party tomorrow night. The party would consist of all the guests staying at the Inn plus all the townies. It would be big, but none the less, very fun.
Sookie was preparing all the food of course. Lorelai was decorating the rooms and getting everything together. Michel was sitting at the front desk doing nothing.
Low on coffee, Lorelai walked into the kitchen to get more coffee.
"Refill time." She poured herself another cup and took a long sip. "You can never get enough of this stuff." She said to Sookie.
"Apparently not." She put down her knife and looked at Lorelai. "Are you okay sweetie? You look tired."
"I love when people say that to me." She said rolling her eyes.
"Oh now come on, I don't mean it in a bad way...I just-it's the truth."
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure? Because I really hate to say it but you don't look fine."
"Then how do I look, Sookie" She practically barked.
"Fine if you really want to know, you look sad, emotionally and physically drained, and tired." She said honestly.
"So basically I look like crap"
"Basically. You're still a beautiful person though."
Lorelai sighed and sat in the chair by the table. "Well if it makes you feel any better, I am sad, emotionally and physical drained, and tired."
"I know. How come though? What's been up"
Lorelai hadn't told Sookie much on Luke. She never mentioned that she went to his cabin or that she saw him in front of the diner.
"I...saw Luke."
"What? When?"
"Late last week. He was at the diner...meeting somebody there."
"What happened?"
"With me and Luke?"
"Yeah."
"Nothing. Nothing at all. He was rude and left. He wouldn't let me say much."
Sookie put the knife down yet again. "I thought you said you were over him."
Lorelai almost laughed at how stupid that sounded. Did she actually say that?
She looked into her coffee cup. "I...lied." She said ever so softly.
"What" Sookie said not hearing her.
"I lied, okay?"
"About being over him?"
"Yes Sookie." Lorelai said, exasperated.
"It's been a while though."
"You don't just get over somebody so quickly you know? Maybe you do...I don't though." She said in all honesty. "Sookie...I...I really liked Luke."
It sounded very childish but it was the...truth. "I really did."
Sookie caught on to what she was trying to say. "I understand."
"It's just...he left, you know? And I just saw him after weeks of being in zero contact with him and it was just...weird."
"I know what you mean."
"I mean, I guess I couldn't imagine him wanting to be friends." She laughed pathetically. "Obviously that was too much to ask for but...I understand. If that's how he wants things to be between us, non existent, then fine...I don't care."
"Oh honey don't say that. You do care."
"Yeah well, I care. A lot. But there's nothing I can do about that."
"Go home...get some sleep."
Lorelai hoped out of her chair and straightened out her skirt. "Can't. I've got loads of work for the party tomorrow."
Sookie rolled her eyes as Lorelai walked out of the kitchen.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
As Luke was watching TV that same day, his cell phone started vibrating on the table. Apprehensively, he picked it up.
"Hello" He answered, turning down the TV.
"Luke? It's Sam."
"Oh, how ya doin' Sam"
"Doing well, Luke. I just wanted to make sure we were still on for tomorrow night. I'm bringing the wife. She wants to meet you."
"Oh well...uh, I guess so."
"Great. I just wanted to say that I'll meet you there. I was going to offer to meet you at the diner before hand but I have to drive my kid to soccer practice before that and I'll probably be a few minutes late."
"Oh well that's okay. I'll see you there then."
"See you there."
He hung up his phone and rolled his eyes. Tomorrow would definitely be a crappy day, he thought to himself.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The theme was most certainly, a winter one, and the setting looked beautiful. Lorelai had spent most of her day and night preparing for the party, from making decorations, to picking the right candlesticks and holders. There was a lot of white through out the room, different shades, but they all went well with the decor. There was some sort of pixie dust strewn across the tables acting as snowflakes. It really did look nice.
It was close to 7:00 when people began flooding in the Inn. The guests from their rooms had already come down by the time the townies had arrived. The kitchen smelt great, the food looked great, and Lorelai believe it or not, was feeling great.
She tried very hard not to think of Luke. Of all the nights she thought about him, this was the one night she wanted to keep him off her mind the most. Distractions would screw things up and the thought of that extra load of frustration showed no interest to her.
"Sookie" Lorelai called when she walked into the kitchen.
"Hey chickadee! All ready?"
"Yeah, everyone's arriving right about now. Is everything set food-wise?"
"Everything's set."
"Good. So, let's just go over this one more time."
"Go."
"Arrive, mingle" She playfully bumped Sookie in the hips.
"You mean get drunk." Sookie said laughing. "Even though I'll be left out of that category."
"Likewise. I don't know how professional it'd be for the host to be hitting on every person here."
"Which, you probably would."
"Probably." She giggled. "Back to the agenda, arrive, mingle, dinner, sleigh rides, movie time, badabing, badaboom"
"Sounds perfect. I'm so excited for the sleigh rides again. They were so much fun at the brace bridge dinner."
"They definitely were. Anyways, ready to go make our appearance" She said holding out her hand.
"Ready as I'll ever be."
They walked out of the kitchen and into the main room where everybody was settling in, already munching on appetizers.
"You can start." Sookie offered.
Lorelai nodded and looked at the crowd. "Attention, attention, attention please" Lorelai said loudly.
As the crowd grew silent, she smiled and waited for Sookie's nod of approval before beginning.
"First, we'd like to start off with thanking you for all coming! It means a lot to us that you could be here with us."
The crowd mumbled different things, some clapping, some not.
"We've got a whole agenda for you guys planned out so don't worry about not having something to do. We're going to have dinner in about 20-25 minutes and then we'll"
At that point, Lorelai heard the front door close and averted her eyes to the person who walked in.
It was him.
Nobody else turned around. They were all too fascinated by the way Lorelai's eyes grew larger and the way her jaw dropped slightly. She forgot what she was in the middle of saying and no control of speaking again. She washed away the silly look and smiled lightly, mostly in his direction. She hadn't expected him to come here. The thought never really crossed her mind. It wasn't like she had been anticipating his possible appearance all night.
"Then we'll-uh, we'll..."
"We'll what, sweetie" Patty asked.
Lorelai laughed lightly and shook her head, not looking in Luke's direction anymore.
"Sorry, we'll...have a good time tonight. And...here's Sookie."
Lorelai stepped away and rubbed her head with her hands for a moment.
"Have a good time everyone!" Sookie cheered. "And, I swear if you smother my food in too much salt I will get my spoon and shove it up your-"
"Anddd that's enough pregnancy hormone jokes for you all tonight. Have fun!" Lorelai said interrupting Sookie.
She grabbed her hand and pulled her into the kitchen.
"Luke's here." She said in a calm, collected voice.
"I saw him."
"I just..." Lorelai was lost at words.
"Just...go out there and have fun. I'll see you later."
"Okay."
If playing it cool was going to be the goal she had in mind, she was going to try her hardest to keep that goal alive.
Luke was in the back still talking with Sam enjoying a beer. He caught glances of Lorelai as she occasionally walked near his direction or somewhere relatively around him. She was busy talking to all the guests. All of them but him.
By the time dinner had started about 20 minutes later, she still had no contact with him. Not even a look in his eyes. He watched her but saw no effort in trying to make contact. The whole time, she had been successfully avoiding him like her mind told her to do. He tried not to care, or even notice that just about every person in the Inn-with the exception of Lorelai-was talking about him.
Patty and Babette both approached him, different times, but bottom line is that they did. He gave out as little details as he could without being slaughtered. While he noticed that Lorelai wasn't paying attention to him, he thought of possible reasons why. Maybe it was because she was busy or maybe because she didn't want to speak to him, but either way he was upset because he came tonight with thought of actually talking to her. Maybe they wouldn't necessarily make up, but he wanted to talk to her because seeing her in front of the diner the other day (after being a complete jerk to her) he realized how much he really missed her.
But maybe making up would be too much, too soon. Because if that's all they had to do, it would have happened, months ago. But before anything else, they had to talk about things. A lot of things. And on top of that, he wasn't going to apologize because watching her right now really made him realize that she's hurting and he hates too think that there's a possibility that over the past few months, she might have been hurting just as much as he has been.
He never imagined that two people could feel that much pain from one another. He never has such strong feelings to crush. But he did now and there was nothing he could do about it.
There were around 25-30 people at the Inn. They all sat down, 2 tables full of people and began eating. It took Lorelai a while before she could actually sit down and enjoy herself because along with Sookie, she was worrying about everything being perfect.
Luke sat next to Sam and the same table Lorelai sat at. They sat across and diagonally from each other. Every few minutes, they'd make shy eye contact but look away before it got to awkward. A smile never really passed between the two of them, just sort of a look. Not a good one, but not a bad one either. It was just...a look. He noticed she didn't look her cheery self. She didn't smile as much and her laugh was different. It wasn't as loud and contagious as it used to be.
She noticed that he hadn't shaved in a while. His eyes looked somewhat swollen, as if he hadn't been getting enough sleep lately but she realized he probably hadn't. He still looked good though.
And she still looked breath taking as she showed herself off in her black cocktail dress.
They all ate in peace, enjoying the food and having several individual conversations.
After dinner was over, the two tables rejoiced for a small meeting in the main room yet again. Lorelai announced that the sleigh rides would start soon. Everybody flew out of the Inn, waiting patiently in line for the horses to come.
"You outdid yourself." Rory said walking up to her mom who was helping Sookie clear the plates off the two tables.
"Oh hey sweetie. Having fun?"
"Of course. Everything's been great so far."
"Good, I'm glad."
They walked into the kitchen to drop of the remained plates and walked back into the main room.
"Hey mom?"
"Yeah?" Lorelai said, looking up from outside the window.
"Are you okay? You seem, I don't know, distracted."
"I'm fine, thanks for asking though."
"I just know that...you know, Luke's here."
"Yeah he is." Lorelai said casually.
"Did you talk to him?"
"No, and I'm not sure we will babe. Unless, I don't know, he wants too but, that'd be silly. I know he doesn't want to." She said dismissing the possibility because she thought it sounded stupid.
"That's not stupid. I think you guys really need to talk. I'm sick of seeing you guys like this."
"Yeah, well...hey, go outside and check on the rides will you? I'm going to help Sookie finish up."
"Yeah, okay." Rory said reluctantly.
After finishing up with the kitchen work, Lorelai excused herself outside to check on everything. Everybody seemed happy and satisfied which made Lorelai happy.
She looked around for Luke but realized that he wasn't around. Maybe he left? She thought. She hoped he didn't though because something was nagging her in her stomach when she thought about him. It wasn't the normal butterflies she got when she thought of him, it was something different. Something more knowing. As if something could actually happen.
Around the time that everybody was finished and settled back inside, Lorelai noticed Luke slip in threw the front door. She was secretly relieved he was still there.
Everybody got settled in the main room to watch the Christmas movie Kirk insisted on selecting. Lorelai was in the back, fidgeting with the lights as Kirk rummaged around the front looking for the tape.
He caught glance of the tape resting in Lorelai's big black bag. He pulled it out and sighed to himself. "Of course she'd try and hide the movie from me."
He took the tape out of her purse and put it in the VCR.
"Lights, Lorelai." Kirk called out.
She nodded her head and turned the lights out.
The screen was blank for a few seconds until noise fled from the speakers but there was still no picture.
"How do you turn the stupid camera part of this on" Lorelai's voice poured from the speakers.
"Oh my god!" She screamed and got up from her seat next to Rory when she realized that Kirk put in the wrong tape. "Kirk press stop! That's not the right movie"
Kirk refused and kept it playing as Lorelai got up started walking towards the front of the room but Rory pulled her down in her seat and kept a hold on her so she wouldn't leave again.
"Mom, stay. Let it play."
Lorelai bit her lip and tried getting out of Rory's grasp but it wouldn't work.
"Just...let it play." Rory assured her yet again.
December 7th
"I see that the Stars Hollow post office hired you again, huh Kirk?"
"Yes they did, Lorelai. Let me just get my things straightened out and I can give you your mail even though it's against the rules to hand out mail to the non-owner."
"Well why the hell would you give me somebody else's mail?"
"Because I can't drive out to Yale. It's not on my route."
"Well if it's for Rory, it's a different story."
"Alright but if you get me fired..."
"Then I'll quit drinking coffee, right, right, come on, can I have my mail already? It's cold outside."
"Here you go." Kirk handed her bulk of mail and walked away as Lorelai slipped back inside.
She sat on the couch and tossed the few bills to the side, glanced at the covers of a couple of magazines, and placed Rory's mail on the side.
The end of the pile was a thick envelope addressed to Lorelai. Without even looking at the return address, she eagerly ripped open the envelope.
She emptied the contents on her lap and the first thing that caught her eye was a piece of paper folded in a small square. She unfolded it and read the contents inside.
Dear Lorelai,
I sent both you and Luke copies of the pictures that I took of you guys. They came out really great. I hope you enjoy them and can put them to good use. Stay in touch and take care.
Rachel
Lorelai threw the note to the side and took the pictures in her hand, flipping them over one by one.
The first picture was the one of them in the snow. Lorelai's heart sank and stomach dropped when she saw how happy they were, even if they were pretending. Pretending to be a couple that is because they both really were happy. Especially compared to now. She sighed and examined it for a few more seconds before moving on to the next one.
The second was the first picture that they took when Luke had his arms around her waist and Lorelai had hers arms were around his neck. She bit her lip, trying to stay as strong as possible but seeing these pictures...it really hurt.
The last one was mainly of just Lorelai. The one where in reality, they had just made up. She smiled at him, a unique smile she only used with certain people at certain times. She gripped tightly onto the picture as a single tear rolled down her cheek.
The fact that she was crying over a few pictures made her feel pathetic. But she rarely felt pathetic so this meant something to her. She picked up the phone and dialed Rory's phone number.
"Rory?" She asked when Rory finally answered a few rings later. She heard crying in the background.
"Hi mom, hold on." Rory took the phone away from her ear but Lorelai could still hear her. "Here, dad, take Gigi, moms on the phone...yeah, go give her a bottle or something."
"Sorry, mom?"
"Yeah, it's me." Lorelai said quietly.
"What's the matter? You don't sound very good."
"I...I need you to come home."
"I would but I can't right now. I'm at dads helping with Gigi and I don't have a car."
"Take his then."
"You honestly want me to drive a Honda?"
"I need you to come home." She repeated.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yes, everything's okay. Just, take my word on this: drive the Volvo."
"I'll be there in a little bit." She said quickly and hung up the phone.
She explained to her dad that she needed to leave because Lorelai needed her to come home for a little while. She promised to bring the car back right after she finished whatever it was she was beginning at home.
A little less than an hour later, she pulled into her driveway right behind the jeep. She rushed out of the car and entered the house in frenzy.
"Mom? Are you here?"
Lorelai was sitting on the couch, fiddling with a video camera.
"Where the hell did we get that?"
"It's Sookie's. I borrowed it last week and never gave it back."
"Thief."
"Yeah, well."
"What's the matter?"
She looked up from the camera and handed Rory the pictures of her and Luke. She went through them all, including the note on the top and handed them back to her mom.
"Those are nice pictures."
"Rory I miss him so much." She admitted.
"I know you do mom."
"I need to...do something about it."
"I thought you said you didn't want to."
"Well I didn't but I have to. Rory...I think I love him." She admitted and the words sounded cold and foreign to her. She had never said she loved anyone really. At least she's never said it and meant it.
But she figured she does and if she doesn't feel comfortable saying it before she tells him for the first time, it'd probably sound really bad.
"I'm glad you finally admitted it mom." Rory said honestly, not messing around with her at all. "But I'm not sure I understand what the video tape is for."
"I'm going to practice." Lorelai said standing up and adjusting the video camera. "You're...the director."
"Are you serious?"
"Dead serious."
"Okay..."
"Great, let's go."
"You want to do this now"? Rory asked surprised.
"No I want to do it when Luke moves to Africa-yes I want to do it now!"
"Okay well, uh..."
"Well the little red lights on, but I don't think its working."
Lorelai hit a button and another red light went off. "Can you see me" She asked.
Rory looked into the camera but didn't see anything. "Nope."
"How do you turn the stupid camera part of this on" She pressed another button and her face appeared to Rory.
"Okay its working."
"Okay."
Lorelai sat there for a few seconds, not doing anything. Becoming annoyed, Rory looked up.
"Well are you going to start?"
"I don't know what to say."
"Say you-"
"I know what to say, but...I don't know how to begin."
"Well good thing this is a practice tape. It's not like he'll ever see this anyways."
"I know, I know. It's just weird talking to a video tape...especially with you here."
Rory played offended. "Fine, I'll leave then if you want to be by yourself."
"No, no, no. Don't go."
"Okay then start your speech."
"Alright. Here I go." She took a deep breath, folding her hands and looking into the camera.
"Luke-wait, I don't think I should start this whole thing addressing it to him, should I"
"It doesn't matter. Once you get started you'll get the hang of it."
Lorelai ignored Rory's comment and looked into the camera again.
"You know, when I was a kid my parents gave me a doll house with the seal still on it. I could never really play with the dolls, let alone go near the house because my parents were always afraid that I'd break it and if I broke the doll house I'd ruin their happiness. So I always stayed away from it because I didn't want to 'break their happiness.' And, don't get me wrong, it's not like I would have enjoyed playing with those stupid dolls because...well, because truthfully, I wouldn't have, but it would have been different, and I never really experienced different when I was growing up."
She took a long breath and looked at Rory who smiled at her, persuading her to continue.
"And you see...I don't know if you can tell but after that, I always shielded myself from things because I was always scared I'd break them. And you know...don't get me wrong. I don't blame my parents for me being the way I am around people, because they were only the start of the way I am today. But I do admit, maybe if I could have played will my doll's, I would have actually grown up a little different. And of course I don't mean it in a complete literal way, that if I could play with Cindy Lou or Debbie Do or whatever the hell their names were, I would be happier, but if I could have just experienced more and opened myself up more it would have been better."
She paused, thinking about the next thing she wanted to say. She knew she'd have to get off this doll house theory if she ever wanted to move on and get to the point.
"A lot of people know that I'm not the best in relationships." She said seriously. "I tend to screw things up right when they're getting good. And I regret hurting people I cared about because I was too scared to open myself up completely. I always enjoyed relationships I was in but...I was never ready for the next step. I enjoyed having a person to hang out with when Rory went out with her friends and occasionally dressing up and having somebody take me out. I had fun doing that sort of stuff. But I never allowed it to be much more than fun. You know, I'd get scared when things seemed to at least...to me...start to heat up. After a while of things going good, I just sort of back away and make up silly excuses when in reality, I was never willing to give it a shot in the first place. And who knows, maybe giving it a shot wasn't the right thing at the time-then again, I'd be contradicting this whole speech wouldn't I be?" She asked Rory who nodded her head. "Like I was saying, maybe it wasn't the right time...but then again, maybe it was. But, I'll never know because I was always too scared to take that next step." She looked at Rory, "I'm still making sense right?" Rory laughed and nodded her head even though it seemed a little confusing, but if she thought about it real hard, she knew what she was talking about.
"So, you see Luke, when things between you and I started getting more and more serious, when I found myself sleeping at your house, or you sleeping at my house just about every night, a little thing went off in either my head...or call me a romantic" she said batting her eyelashes, "in my heart. It could have been the 2 month mark that Sookie insists I have, or it could have been something else...I don't know, but it was something. And it went off. And I'm being awfully redundant."
"And repetitive." Rory whispered, laughing in the background.
"I realized that things were different with you. You made me happy, you made me smile, you made me laugh, you made me feel...warm, as corny as that sounds, but it's the truth. And most of all, when I was with you, I felt like for a change, somebody really did love me."
She bit her lip and looked around the room before continuing.
"And, I know that the town has said you've been 'madly in love with me,'" she used air quotes "for all these years, but I don't know if that's true at all. All I know is that I felt loved and I really liked that feeling, that happiness. I liked it because it was so unknown to me. I had never felt it before either because I never allowed myself to feel it, like I said before, or because none of the other guys have actually loved me despise what they said. And I'm not here to put words in your mouth, because I don't know if you love me, but...upon experiencing these new feelings...I realized I'm not going to let them escape this time because for the first time in my life...I've found myself in love."
She couldn't help but return the beaming smile Rory was sending her.
"I'm in love with you." she said simply. She laughed a little, sniffling and wiping the few tears away from the corners of her eyes. "Look at me, I'm a mess. And I probably sound like a freak, but that's what you do to me. You make me a freak and I love you for that. There are a million things I could say I love about you right now but since you'll never see this, I think it'll be good to save them for the actual time that I tell you I love you because, there, I've said it-more than once, too-I love you."
She wiped a few more tears from her eyes. "I've said it and I feel good. I feel, relieved. Like I've wanted to tell you that for years...but those years were long and now that it's out, I couldn't be any happier."
"So, if for some reason one day, you...think I'm not 'all in' like I told you I was on our first date, I'll reassure you with this tape. Other than that, this is confidential, sister." She nodded to Rory. "It's been fun, and real, and almost like you're actually sitting in front of me watching me say all this, but I know you're not and hey-I hate to say it but part of me is upset because my first time ever saying I love you to somebody and really meaning it was to a video tape and not you, yourself. So, I guess I'll just have to wait and tell you this in person sometime. And...I just hope it's sometime soon."
She walked over to the table and grabbed a Kleenex to blow her nose.
"I'm done." She said laughing to Rory.
"Come here mom." Rory said, opening her arms.
Lorelai walked over towards Rory but bumped into a shoe and tripped. "Ouch!" She grabbed her foot and wobbled over to Rory.
She lost her balance and the camera fell from the stand and turned itself off.
As the video came to an end, just about everybody in the crowd-especially the people that really know Luke and Lorelai all had tears in their eyes. Including Lorelai. Oh, and Kirk who at this point was having trouble turning it off.
Rory finally let go of her mom and turned give her a hug.
"You were so happy to see that and you wanted him to hear it so badly. I just...I thought that Kirk should let it play."
"It's okay, really. You don't need to apologize. I brought it today intending on giving it to Luke anyways. There were some things we needed to clear up."
"Speaking of Luke..." Rory turned around and glanced at him. He was standing against the wall.
Lorelai turned around smiled, wiping underneath her eyes. He smiled, very, very lightly, and she turned back around.
"Are you going to talk to him?"
"I want to but everyone's still here."
"Not for long."
Rory stood up and attempted to whistle but it didn't really work.
"Okay guys" Rory screamed. "That concludes the party for tonight so if you could all just depart through the front door, that'd be great. Thanks for coming!"
Rory guided a few people out of the door while Lorelai just laughed at her, still sitting in her chair. As just about everybody flooded out, Lorelai turned around to see Luke. But, like before, he was gone.
She started to panic. She had only been sitting there for 5 minutes. Sure almost everybody was out in that time, due to Rory's enforcement, but she wouldn't let Luke slip out would she?
She walked out to the front room and nobody was there, she opened the door, and there he was, leaning against the railing, looking out into the night.
She left the door open and walked over to him, leaning against the railing herself but keeping distance between them. They both stared out into the night and it wasn't till Luke felt her staring at him that he turned towards her.
He turned towards her and she reached her fingers out to graze his hands but pulled away, afraid that he'd turn her down. She put her hands on her hips and kept a steady face with him. He showed no emotion, so it was hard for her to tell what he was thinking. But obviously whatever he was thinking was good because he reached over and removed her hands from her hips, lacing her fingers within his.
She averted her eyes to the door and looked back at him. He traced her eyes and new exactly what she meant. He followed her lead as she led him into the Inn. She removed one hand from his and closed the door softly, then taking his hand again and walking him up the stairs.
Lucky Room 7.
She grabbed the master key and opened the empty room, waiting for him to step inside first. She closed the door and turned on the lamp on the table but that was just about all the light they had on. She bit her lip, afraid she'd suddenly cry and made agreeing eye contact with him. She took her distance and tried to make it unobvious that all she wanted to do right now was be in his arms.
Something about him though, could read right threw her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held onto her tightly. She wrapped her arms around his upper waist and hugged him tighter than intended. She aligned her head perfectly near his neck, inhaling the smell of him. The tip of her nose brushed against his neck causing him to shiver slightly, resulting in him tightening his grip around her waist.
They held each other for a good few minutes, neither one wanting to break this moment.
But after a while, she pulled away and led him over to the bed.
"I don't know what to say." She admitted quietly. It was almost nerve wrecking hearing her voice.
"You don't have to say anything. Not right now at least."
She leaned in very slowly, raising her hand and cupping his face. She looked him in the eyes before kissing him so lightly he hardly noticed her lips were on his. She felt he'd back away if she was too forward, too quickly. But the electricity flowing threw them was intense and he needed more. He put his hand on the back of her head and pulled her in closer, kissing her with more passion this time.
"I'm sorry Luke. I'm really sorry for everything." She said pulling away, praying she wouldn't cry but a few tears slipped because being with him right now was way to intense. She never imagined being with him again could ever be this intense.
He lifted his thumb and wiped away her tears, smiling. "Don't cry." He cracked a larger smile for her. "I understand...and I forgive you for it. I really do." He assured her.
"I just...I missed you so much."
He hugged her again; the feeling of her against him was all he needed at the moment. "You have no idea." He said shaking his head and rubbing her back.
"I do know."
He kissed the top of her head and she pulled away, standing up and fixing her running makeup in the mirror hanging on the wall. He got up and wrapped his arms around her waist, looking at the two of them in the mirror.
"We make a good couple don't we?" He said smiling.
"Yes. We make a good couple." She said laughing and sniffing a little.
"Here-let's lie down. I need to lie down."
They both laid on their sides, facing each other. Lorelai grabbed Luke's hands and played with them before speaking.
"I was going to give you that tape tonight. It hit me a few minutes after you left the other day what you were talking about. How I said I love you to somebody. You heard me on the tape. And...Rory took Christopher's car because she was helping him out. I wanted you to know that before I told you anything else."
"So it was just me arriving at the wrong time"
She smiled. "Yes."
"But how did you know I was going to be here tonight"
"You'd be surprised..."
"Why?"
She leaned over and kissed him softly, yet longingly on the lips.
"Promise you won't be mad?"
"I promise I won't be mad."
"I hired Sam."
"What do you mean?"
"I asked him if he'd help me figure out where you were. So I asked him to call your cell phone and tell you that he's interested in the diner because I wanted you to come home. And, ever since then, it's just been working, and...Thank God it has or else I don't know where you and I would stand right now."
Luke laughed; surprised about Sam but right now he could absolutely care less. "I'm glad you did that."
"I'm glad I did too."
"Good."
"Listen, Luke." She said up and crossed her legs. He stayed on his side and caressed her leg.
"I screwed things up really badly between you and I-"
"Lorelai, we don't have to get into this now."
"I know. And we won't. I just want to say something."
"Okay."
"I really screwed things up between us and I'm sorry for that. I really am. And it all started with Christopher. There. I admitted it. You were right. And, I know you were right. I knew you were right all along but I didn't want to admit it because I knew you'd be mad."
"Yeah..."
"But if I would have ever known you'd be that mad at me, and just...leave...I would have been honest with you before any of that could have happened. Because, being without with you has been the hardest few weeks of my life. And that might sound very dramatic, but I'm not kidding. That's the truth."
"I believe you."
"I would never do something to hurt you again because I love you too much to see you walk away from me again."
Tears started welling up in her eyes again. "Because" she chocked"you have no idea how much I missed you."
"I missed you too, Lorelai."
"So, if there were ever to be a 'next time' even though I'm one hundred percent sure nothing remotely that bad will ever happen again, I'm not going to lie, or pretend not to admit something I know is right. Because I don't want to lose you. I really don't, Luke." The tears started rolling down her cheeks. Luke sat up and tried soothing her.
"Hey, shh...it's okay." He wrapped her in his arms and lowered her onto the bed, still hugging her.
He kissed the top of her forehead and smoothed her hair. "I love you, Lorelai. I'm not going to leave you again. You don't have to worry about that."
She looked up at him and smiled.
"You love me?"
"Like that's a surprise?"
"Too me it is. I've never heard you say it before."
"Sure you have." He kissed her on her neck and looked back up to her. "You've always just been sleeping."
She smiled and cupped his face in her hands, examining everything about him.
She kissed him again, pulling away a few seconds later but keeping her face pressed against his.
"Make love to me Luke." She whispered against his lips, eyes closed.
He gently rolled on top of her, kissing her before getting up and holding his hands out for hers. He lifted her from the bed and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her passionately. Her fingers traveled from his head to his neck to this seams of his tee-shirt. His hands brushed against her partially exposed stomach causing her to jump slightly, only to be further in his arms.
He pulled away from her and slowly unbuttoned her cardigan. With the last final button, he pushed it off her shoulders and kissed her again, traveling from her lips to her cheek, to her neck. Pure bliss, she was experiencing. She let out a strangled moan she had been holding back the whole time.
Luke looked back up at her and put his fingers on the straps of her light pink tank. He put his thumbs underneath the straps and pulled them down before lifting the material over her head and tossing it on the floor as well.
He wrapped his hands around her bare stomach and kissed her gently before moving his hands down to the zipper of her black pants. He unzipped them slowly, pulling the tight fabric off of her legs. Freezing at his touch, she quickened the pace so she could warm up. He held her low on her waist while she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, taking it off and throwing it on the floor with her clothes. She reached for his belt buckle, took that off and then unzipped his pants, pulling them off from him.
She leaned back and started pushing him down against the bed but in one swift move, he turned around so he was walking backwards towards the bed and lowered her on top of him. Gently but surely, he laid her beneath him, lying on top of her, careful not to hurt her at all.
His head was in the air, looking at the clock on the mantle about their bed. Growing anxious, Lorelai lifted her head up, capturing his lips and kissing him passionately. She wrapped her hands around the back of his face, lowering him onto her lips as her head crashed against the pillows.
"I love you, she kissed him again, "Luke."
He pulled away and smiled, leaning down and rubbing her cheek with his hand. "I love you, Lorelai."
With one final kiss, they broke away and undressed the rest of themselves in preparation for a night they have been waiting for...probably, for months.
They wouldn't need a Making Love Book for Dummies, that's for sure.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Over 45 minutes later, they collapsed beside each other. Lorelai laid half way on top of him as he wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her securely. Her face was against his neck, kissing him every few seconds.
"They're definitely right about make up sex being better." She said laughing into his neck.
"Definitely."
She raised her head and looked into his eyes. "Have I told you how much I missed you?"
"Yes. And the feeling's mutual."
"So, what are you going to do now? Go back to the cabin?"
"How did you know I was at the cabin"
"Well, I guessed. And then I decided to go see you...there...but you weren't home."
"So what did you do"
"I went into your cabin" She asked even though she knew she did.
"You know, you could have been caught."
"So what? I'm your girlfriend."
"Yeah well I guess its okay then. And to answer your question, I'm going to go back home. Don't worry."
"Home, home? As in the apartment? Not the cabin" She said excitedly.
"Yes."
"So does that mean...I don't know...maybe...the diner will be opening again soon?"
"Yes, that's a high possibility."
"Yay" She clapped and kissed him on the lips. "I've had such a withdrawal."
"From me?" He joked.
"And the coffee." She had to admit it.
They stayed there for a few minutes, both lost in thought. Being together, the way they were right now, was absolutely perfect. Nothing could be better than this night.
"What did you do while you were gone?" She asked quietly.
"Nothing. I thought about you a good majority of the time."
"Were you ever going to call"
"Eventually. I just didn't know when. I figured you wouldn't want to talk to me."
"You figured wrong. I really wanted to hear from you."
"I know, and I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. If anyone has something to be sorry about, it's still me."
"Hey, we talked about things, we realized what it's like to be apart from each other when something bad happens, we learned. I believe you Lorelai, I really do."
"I'm glad that you trust me."
"Good." She leaned into him, tangling her legs within his.
"What did you do while I was gone?" He asked.
"I was a wreck." She said honestly. "I really was a wreck."
He kissed her softly. "I didn't want you to be a wreck."
"I didn't want to be one either. But I was, and after all, I probably deserved it."
"You made a mistake with Christopher, it's over, it's done, and we're over it. There's no reason to put it on yourself any longer."
"I won't then."
"Good."
"I just...I was bad. I hardly talked to anyone, I didn't have anything to do with myself other than sit on my ass and feel sorry for myself. That's not very fun."
"No. It's not."
"I thought about you everyday. I even had a few dreams about you, and us one day making up."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. But this was way better than any of my dreams."
"I'm glad." He said smiling proudly.
"Luke?"
"Yeah."
"Were you really going to let Sam 'buy the diner?'"
"No." He said quickly. "I just...I went along with it because I knew I'd wind up seeing you at some point in the process."
"Good boy." She said jokingly.
She leaned over him and adjusted the clock on his side of the bed because it was faced in the wrong direction. He wrapped his arm around her waist as she lifted herself up and looked at the clock.
"It's getting late."
"What time is it."
"11:57."
"Happy anniversary, Luke."
"It's our anniversary?" He asked, dumbfounded.
"For three more minutes, it is."
"Happy anniversary, Lorelai."
He counted the days in his head, figuratively speaking, it was their old anniversary, and today, was the start of a new one: the 23rd.
Luke nodded and Lorelai laid back down watching the minutes pass on the clock. When the clock read 12:00, she leaned up to Luke's face and kissed him.
"Merry Christmas Eve."
He laughed. "Lots of occasions, huh"
"Yes."
"Well Merry Christmas Eve, Lorelai." He raised his hand to her head and kissed her passionately. He pulled away and looked into her eyes.
"I love you so much." He said full-fledged.
The heat in her cheeks rose causing her to blush and close her eyes.
"I love hearing you say that." She grinned and opened her eyes again. "And I love saying it too. It sounds so right."
"It is right."
"I know. And for the first time in my life, too." She laughed a little. "Gosh, we probably sound so dopey."
"Whatever that's supposed to mean..." Luke replied.
"Yeah," she kissed him one more time, "whatever that means."
They were both quiet for a few more minutes until Lorelai spoke again.
"Hey Luke?" She asked.
"Yeah."
"Do you think...if Kirk didn't interrupt us the night that we would have ended up here?" She asked referring to their current state, though talking about their kiss on the porch of the test run.
Luke kissed the top of her head.
"Do you think if Kirk wouldn't have switched the movies tonight that we would have ended up here?" He asked in return.
She smiled and adjusted her head in the crook of his shoulder.
"There was no stopping me tonight."
AN: It's over:( It only took us eight weeks to get here…(xoxo Annick)
Please review thanks for everything!