Part 23

A/N : Warning ! Death of a background character. Tissue alert.

It took several minutes to get everyone settled in the comfortable chairs of the waiting lobby. Once it was done, Lucrezia left to make her phone call, leaving Sally alone in font of seven anxious-looking teenagers.

'God, what am I supposed to tell him ?', she thought as her gaze fell on Quatre snuggled in Heero's arms. 'They all look positively sick. I don't know how much involved in that story they all are, but they are all shocked.'

She gave a start as the green-blue gaze of Quatre suddenly turned to her. He wanted answers, and the look on his face told he had every intention to get them, whether pleasant or not. Sally sighed and sat down too.

"How is my father, Dr Po ?", Quatre asked.

"I am going to be very honest with you, Mr Winner", Sally said tiredly. "You're probably not gonna like what I'll say, but it will be the truth. Dr Corday doesn't think he is going to make it. It is a miracle he is alive at all after that attack, and the surgery we performed was heavy. The type of bullet makes it almost sure that some shards and splinters are still in his system and will start an infection. And then, there is the fact that he went into surgery in shock. I am truly sorry, Mr Winner, but if you want me to tell you your father is gonna be okay, that is something I can't do. He's not gonna be okay, and we will most certainly lose him soon."

Quatre's face had remained blank throughout the speech, the young man fighting with all his might not to unleash the blind panic and fear those words awoke. He knew it was serious, but he had never considered that he could actually lose his father. But Dr Po had promised the truth, however painful. And the truth was that his father was going to die, and no one could do anything about it.

Everyone in the room was staring at Dr Po, the shock slowly registering on the young faces. Heero tensed and winced as he felt Quatre tense at his side. Duo had resumed crushing Trowa's hand. Trowa had found no better way to try and calm Duo than pulling him in a tight embrace and caressing his head, but his green gaze was fixated on Quatre, a pained expression on his face. Wufei was idly wondering how many shocks he could still take before he would drop dead. The two girls in the back of the room just looked at their feet, unable to find a word to say. Finally, Quatre got up very slowly and asked in a choked voice :

"Can I see him ?"

"Of course", Sally said, fighting the tears that she felt coming into her eyes at the vision of the raw despair in front of her. "I'll take you there."

Heero began to get up too, and Duo took a step towards Quatre, but he stopped them with a kind gesture.

"No, I … This is something I have to do on my own", he said sadly. "Wait for me here, please. I … I will need you when I come back."

Heero nodded, but before even Quatre could react, he wrapped him in a tight hug and kissed the top of the blond head. Quatre hugged back, accepting the warmth and strength given to him. Then, he disentangled himself from Heero's arms and followed Sally down a corridor. The four remaining young men watched him turn a corner and disappear, before Heero went back to sit on one of the chairs, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. He was taking deep breaths to try and calm down. Duo shot him a worried look. The link between Quatre and Heero had developed, and for the moment, it was more a nuisance than anything else, since all the pain Quatre felt was automatically reverberated by that link, to someone who didn't know how to handle it. And yet, Heero was holding himself together quite well. His eyes were a bit misted and his jaw was clenched, but his face didn't let too much show, so Duo did not insist, and sat down beside Trowa, looking for some comfort in his lover's warmth.

"It's not fair", he whispered.

"I know", Trowa whispered back.

"We'll get her", Wufei said. "Even if this is the last thing we do, we'll get her. I can't stand that pain. I won't stand it much more, and I certainly won't stand Quatre in pain."

Everyone looked at the corridor Quatre had disappeared in, and silence fell, each of the youngsters falling into their own thoughts, and sometimes exchanging sad glances. The atmosphere in the lobby was heavy, and as it was isolated from the rest of the hospital, there was absolutely no noise to distract them from their dark thoughts. One of the darkest being the look on Quatre's face as he had left to see his dying father.

O.O.O.O.O

"Here we are", Sally said, stopping in front of an unmarked door.

Quatre stopped too, suddenly wondering if we would find the courage to go through that door and face what was waiting inside. Because whatever he was trying to tell himself, he was terrified. Sally opened the door, but didn't make any move to get inside. Quatre took a deep breath, looked at Sally, then at the dimly lit room, and finally stepped in, letting the door close itself behind him. As soon as he was inside, Sally leant on the wall and slid slowly to the floor, suddenly finding her legs could not support her. And the tears that had been threatening to come out rolled down her cheeks.

'Oh my god. I hate this. I hate this. What am I supposed to do ? What am I supposed to say ? What do you say to an eighteen-year-old who is watching his father dying ? How many lives did that bitch crush ? Will I be strong enough ? Do I even want to be strong ?'

"Sally ? What's wrong ?"

Sally looked up to see a concerned Lucrezia coming down the corridor to the prostrated form of her friend.

"I'm okay", she said in a hoarse voice. "It's just … the shock, the tension. I don't want to have to do that again, Lu. I just told him his father was going to die and I could do nothing. I feel completely helpless, useless. How can one play with human life like this ?"

"You wouldn't be a doctor if you didn't react that way", Lucrezia said, holding her friend close. "Come, let's find a bathroom for you to wash up your face, and then I'll tell you what Colonel Fujirawa told me."

"I can only hope that he will not suffer too much", Sally said with a sad look on the door. "But it's always harder for the ones who are left behind. I can't even count the times I had to do this, but it doesn't get easier. Never. You never get used to it."

"And that's a good thing. It would be freaky if you got used to it. Now come on, let's give them some peace."

O.O.O.O.O

Quatre blinked several time to adjust to the luminosity. For some minutes he didn't move, just staring at the immobile form on the bed, with all those tubes wired to machines. The only sound in the room was the loud beep from the cardiac monitor. Holding on to that noise, Quatre slowly stepped closer, feeling his throat getting dry as he saw his father pale and strained face, and the bloodstained bandages on his chest.

The tears began to flow down before he could even think to stop them. Just flowing down his cheeks in an uninterrupted stream. He suddenly closed the last distance between himself and the bed, and slowly took his father's hand. His own hand was so pale and little compared to it. Quatre could have laughed at the irony of the situation if he hadn't been so damned scared. He had spent the last six months arguing with his father just to prove he was an adult. But right now, nothing was further from the truth. He wasn't ready to face the world alone. He wasn't ready for any of this. He was scared to death, terrified that the slow breathing would stop, that the machines would suddenly emit strange buzzes. Holding up his father's hand, he pressed it on his cheek, trying to give as much comfort as he could through contact.

"Father, I'm so sorry …", he whispered. "I don't want you to die. I can't do it without you. I just can't."

His heart missed a beat as the rhythm on the cardiac monitor changed and his father suddenly opened very unfocused eyes. Mr Winner opened his mouth to try and say something, but no sound came out. His eyes finally focused on the little blond figure by his side. Quatre was paralyzed, still holding his father's hand to his own cheek, not daring to move in case he would startle or hurt him.

"Quatre …"

The voice came out in a rasped whisper.

"Don't try to talk, Father. I'm with you. I'm here."

Mr Winner's face seemed to relax at the sound of his son's voice. His hand, still trapped in Quatre's hand, moved a bit, fingers stroking the soft skin of his son's cheek. He focused on the beautiful face above, that face that reminded him so much. Yes, Quatre really looked like his mother, but now, Mr Winner could see some of his own traits in that face. He didn't really feel pain, it was all dulled by the drugs, but he didn't feel well either. He swallowed, before attempting to talk some more.

"I am sorry, Quatre."

Quatre's green-blue eyes widened.

"Why ?"

"I … I have no right to judge you. You are my son and I love you. Nothing else matters."

If possible, Quatre cried even harder, squeezing the large hand in his.

"I love you too, Father."

"I know … I know that you will make me proud, whatever you do", Mr Winner kept on. "Always listen to your heart, Quatre. I did not, or maybe I was deaf. Listen to your heart, and never falter in your beliefs. Hold them out proudly."

Quatre was now sobbing uncontrollably, not even hiding his fear and panic. He felt like a little child. This couldn't be happening. It was a nightmare. But the hand in his felt too real, the voice in his ear, the brown eyes looking at him, and the vaguely sickening hospital smell. He never knew when he began to pray, but the well-known words began to flow out of his mouth in his mother language, mingling with the silent supplication in his head.

'Please don't take him away from me. I'm begging you, don't take him away from me. I can't do it alone. Please. Please. Please …'

It was maybe because he was exhausted and in pain that Quatre was unable to hold back when his empathy suddenly uncoiled from the little part of his mind where it was resting and started reaching out for his father. Nothing worse could have happened at that moment, when the alien emotions came over him. Quatre felt his father's fear and panic in front of death, his acceptance of his fate also, and the undying love for his children beneath. He felt it when his father's breath became labored and uneasy, as his heart began to beat erratically. He felt it when that heart suddenly stopped beating, leaving an unbearable silence behind. An emptiness, a void nothing could seem to fill.

Quatre suddenly stumbled a few steps back, letting go of his father's hand. He stared incredulously at the limp form on the bed, before the full wave of pain hit him. An anguished scream tore through the silent air of the ICU Special Ward as Quatre fell on his knees on the floor, clutching his head.

O.O.O.O.O

Heero suddenly hissed in pain, clutching his head. His face paled visibly under his natural tan, and his eyes went wide as he experienced the alien sensation. His breath began to come out in short gasps as he tried to regain control of his own mind.

Duo was the first to react. He almost jumped out of Trowa's embrace to kneel in front of the Japanese man.

"Heero ? Oi, Heero, answer me, man ! What's goin' on ?"

"Quatre", Heero said through clenched teeth. "He's hurting a lot, I can't …"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Six heads shot up as the cry tore through the silence of the ward. Heero's eyes were still misted and his pupils were far too wide for it to be natural.

"Quatre …"

In an instant, there was total chaos in the corridors as everyone followed Duo. The young American had apparently understood what was going on, because he had started running even before the scream had ended. Trowa had followed Duo, and Wufei was helping Heero get along. The two girls were following.

Duo reached the door just at the same time Sally did, coming from a nearby office with Noin. She was about to open the door when she was not too gently pushed aside.

"Get outta the way ! There's nothin' ya can do here !", Duo yelled as he got into the room, quickly followed by his friends.

Quatre was huddled in the furthest corner of the room, leaning on the wall and hugging his knees tight. His eyes were strangely fixed, and he was rocking back and forth very slowly, tears flowing down his cheeks, but not making a sound.

"What's going on ?", Sally asked from the door.

Her eyes suddenly fell on the beeping cardiac monitor.

"Oh my god."

She hurried to the bed, but it was obvious it was too late to do anything. The only thing she could actually do was turn off the machine, which she did, to everyone's relief. Then, she turned to see what was wrong.

Duo knelt in front of Quatre, not liking at all the look on his best friend's face. It was as if he was not there, and yet he was violently shaking.

"Cat ! Cat ! Do you hear me ? Cat ! Damn it, I can't reach him !"

"Duo, what is happening ?" Wufei asked.

"I think Cat just lived his dad's death from the inside and with Dolby Surround, that's what is happenin', Wu !"

Wufei didn't think it was possible for him to get even paler, but he did. He muttered a curse in Mandarin and knelt beside Duo.

"What are you trying to do ?"

"Same thing I did back at the hotel. He's gone too far, and he's just been through something horrible ! He can't come back of his own free will ! But he's so far I don't think he can hear me ! He didn't even react when I touched him ! Shit, shit, shit ! Cat ! Listen to me !"

Quatre's eyes remained blank, fixated on something inside.

"Fuck, I'm not the specialist of empathy here ! Iria is, and she's out of the picture ! Okay let's calm down. He can't hear me. I need someone else to call him back. I need …"

His eyes fell on Heero, who was leaning on the wall still clutching his head and breathing rapidly.

"I need him, Wu. I need Heero to call him back, and I need him to do it soon."

"Duo, do you even know what you're doing ?"

"Nope, not a clue, but I'm the only one to have an even remote idea of what to do, so don't argue now, okay ? The only thing I ever did for Cat was just this : providing him with an anchor for him to come back, but this time it's not enough. I am not enough. He needs a reason to come back, Wu. And he needs a damn good one, and he needs it fast, so my first guess is Heero. If you got a better idea, then spit it out !"

Wufei shook his head, and turned to look worriedly at Heero.

"He can't do it in this state", the Chinese man said. "He's feeling the same thing, only a bit altered. He won't be … stable enough for this."

"Then you must help him. Trowa, Wufei, try to make him calm down. Quick !"

Trowa reacted almost immediately. With unexpected strength, he forced Heero to sit down on the floor, and knelt in front of the Japanese man. Wufei was at his side in an instant.

"Yuy, do you hear me ?", Wufei asked.

Heero nodded weakly, wincing in pain.

"Listen to me. Try to breathe as deeply as possible. Concentrate on your breathing. Empty your head and concentrate just on this. Breathing. Go on, you can do it."

Heero did as he was instructed, feeling his heartbeat slowly calming down.

"Keep on breathing", Wufei said. "Just feel the air in your body, in and out. Slowly."

It was difficult. There was a part of Heero's mind that was almost screaming in blind pain, the part that connected him to Quatre. It was difficult to shut it down completely. Heero suddenly felt a strong hand gripping his own. He opened his eyes, and drowned into green pools of quietness in front of him. Trowa was holding him steady and holding his hand. He wasn't saying a word, just looking intently into the Prussian Blue eyes and offering support. Heero gladly accepted it, breathing as Wufei instructed and holding Trowa's hand, following their lead to get out of the dark whirlwind his mind was in. The room around came into focus brutally, leaving him a bit dizzy.

"Quatre …"

"He's just over here, Heero", Duo said. "Come here, I need you, buddy."

Trowa and Wufei helped Heero get up, and he walked to Duo and Quatre, kneeling beside his lover. His guts twisted in a knot when he saw the vacant stare on Quatre's face, but he quickly controlled it.

"Call him, Heero", Duo said. "Call him. If you can't make him come back …"

Heero caught Quatre's hand and Duo got up, making everyone back off to give more space to the couple. In their corner near the bed, Sally and Noin were staring wide-eyed at the scene.

"Quatre", Heero called. "Quatre, can you hear me ? Katoru, ore wo kikitte (1)…"

The rest of the speech was not understandable as Heero abruptly reverted to Japanese, words flowing out of his mouth. The truth was that Heero himself had no idea what he was saying, he just talked, and reached out for Quatre both with his body and his mind. Everyone watched as a little light suddenly appeared in the green-blue eyes.

Quatre looked up, and met the deep blue eyes of his lover. He vaguely saw the outlines of his friends behind. It was the last thing he saw before he fell into unconsciousness. Heero panicked a bit, but Duo was here in an instant.

"It's okay, Heero. It's normal. His body needs to rest. He must sleep it out, or he'll be sick for real."

Heero looked up at the American, his anguish still visible on his face.

"I promise he is going to be alright, Heero", Duo said, feeling the sudden need to reassure the Japanese. "Well, as alright as one can be in those circumstances. But he's gonna be fine. You made him come back. Now he needs rest."

Heero nodded, hugging Quatre's limp form closer. Duo straightened up and looked at Sally.

"Do you have a quiet room or some place where he could rest ?"

"What … What just happened ?"

"Sorry, lady, but I can't tell you. It must be Cat's decision to trust you or not with that. Do you have a room for him ?"

"Sure. Maybe I should call …"

"I'll carry him", Heero interrupted, lifting Quatre from the floor as easily as if he were a child.

"Alright, follow me, then. And …"

"We'll be staying here until he wakes up", Wufei said.

"That's not a problem", Sally said. "I'll just go see if there are any other empty rooms in case some of you want to have some rest."

"Thank you."

O.O.O.O.O

Wufei was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to the door of the room Quatre was in, having appointed to himself the duty of looking after his friends' rest. Not that he could have had any rest after the events of the day. Dr Po had led them to an empty room not too far from the waiting lobby. As soon as Heero had deposited his burden on the bed, Duo had thrown everyone out, staying back for a minute himself. Since he had not bothered to lower his voice, everyone had heard quite clearly the young American deliver a speech along the lines of "you'd better take good care of him if you want all your body parts to remain where they are", before he had stormed out of the room himself and firmly closed the door behind him.

"Don't disturb them before Cat wakes up", he had said, glaring at Dr Po and Agent Noin to be sure his point was clear.

Then he had gone back to the waiting lobby, quickly followed by Trowa, who apparently intended to work something out for Duo to relax a bit. Cathy had had to go back to the circus, but had asked Trowa to offer her condolences to Quatre in case she would not see him again before he would leave. Relena had left also, looking on the verge of nervous collapse, although she was hiding it rather well. She made all the boys promise to call her as soon as Quatre would wake up, and renewed her assurance that her parents would provide anything they needed, they just had to ask. They had thanked her again, and she had left, hugging herself and holding back her tears.

And so Wufei had decided to stay in that corridor. First of all, because he would be able to prevent anyone from entering, be it a doctor or a nurse, or even a prying reporter. Although he doubted a reporter could make it that far in a secure ward without getting spotted first. But truly, he was making sure the medical staff would stay safe. He was not sure what Heero's reaction would be to a nurse coming into the room unannounced, but since he couldn't guarantee no one would get hurt, he thought it was best to stay here and prevent the damage. And then, curiously, it was the only quiet place he had found to think.

He thought of Meiran. The image of her in his arms as she slowly faded away appeared in his mind. Her last words echoed in his head.

/I was strong, wasn't I ?

Yes, you were. The strongest of all, Nataku.

But now I can't be strong anymore. Will you be strong for me, Wufei ?

I will. I promise. I will be strong for you.

Wo ai ni (2), Chang Wufei. I'll always be with you./

For months, Wufei had thought fate was responsible for his wife's death. That she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. That it could have happened to anyone, even him. But now, he knew. He knew that Meiran had been the intended target of a sadistic attack to satisfy an insane woman's bloodlust. How could he even think of her as a human being, Wufei thought, recalling the woman's look in his mind. Those cold brown eyes behind the glasses, the cruel sneers, the way she played with all the lives around her. That night where she had staged the attack, she had sentenced fifteen men to death. Apparently, that was something she could live with.

"What are you doing sitting here alone ? You could find a better place to have some rest."

Wufei looked up to meet the kind blue gaze of Dr. Po. She looked like she had cried. He noticed in an instant that she was not wearing the same clothes as several hours ago.

"I'm fine", he said. "It's quiet here. I don't really need rest, just some time by myself, that's all."

"Oh, maybe I should leave you alone, then …"

"No, it's okay. I don't mind the company."

"May I sit here, then ?"

"Of course."

Sally sat down on the floor. Or rather, sank down on the floor. Wufei noticed the paleness of her face and the dark circles under her eyes.

"You haven't been having any rest either, have you ?"

"No. I needed to finish the autopsy. I want Quatre to be able to bring his father's body home as soon as he wishes."

"You did the autopsy ?", Wufei asked with wide eyes, surprised. "You didn't have to."

"No, you're absolutely right, I didn't have to. I am the head of the unit, and as such I should be able to discard any unpleasant tasks on my subordinates. But I didn't. I wanted to do it myself."

"Why ?"

"I don't really know myself. Maybe because I feel like I owe something to Quatre because we were not able to save his father. Maybe because I alone know how to read those wounds, know the story behind them. Maybe because I wanted to know if I was strong enough to take it. Probably a bad mix of the three above actually."

"You're quite someone, you know", Wufei said quietly, but unable to hide the admiration in his voice. "That's some courage you have."

"Thank you", Sally said, closing her eyes and leaning back on the wall. "But still, you know what forensic pathologists think most of the time ? At least the sane ones ?"

Wufei shook his head.

"We all wish to be jobless. Because it would mean no more crazy humans are trying to find creative ways to get rid of each other, thus forcing us to look into the darkest corners of their insane minds."

"I think I understand."

"I was sure you would. Your colony was struck hard enough by the gang war. By the way, I … I am sorry to have brought out the news like this. I really had no idea that … well …"

"It's okay", Wufei reassured her. "I was shocked, but it's gone now. There was no way you could have known …"

"Oh, but there was. I even have your name in my files, since I always do a background search on the people that come in. I probably have a copy of your marriage certificate somewhere there. And I saw you the day you came to get her body."

"I .. Well I don't remember you, sorry."

"That would be because you never actually saw me. I was up in the bay when you came."

There was a short silence, before Sally spoke again.

"Are you sure you're gonna be alright ?"

"Yes. Now I'm sure. I know who to blame, I know I won't have any rest before she's brought in. Even if I was only an inch from death, that only thought would keep me going."

"Revenge is not always a good thing. It can be destructive."

"It's not about revenge, Dr Po", Wufei said very softly. "Revenge in that case would be unavailing and useless, and as Quatre pointed, it would not make Meiran come back from the dead. It is about justice. And it's very different."

"I am not sure I get your point."

"If I was seeking revenge, I would already be out of here hunting the woman down, and not stopping until I would kill her, preferably as slowly and painfully as she killed Meiran. I do not wish to do that. Because I would feel very bad about it, and because my life is not the only thing that got discarded by that thing I cannot even call a human being anymore."

Wufei looked at Sally straight in the eyes.

"Justice demands that this woman answers for her crimes. My duty is to make sure she does. The way is not mine to decide. I will not try to kill her unless she forces me to do it. I have the power to kill someone with my bare hands, Dr Po. It does not mean I have to like it, and it does not mean I wish to use it."

"Then I'm very honored to have met you, Chang Wufei", Sally answered with a smile. "I see the masters of the Long Clan are not renowned for nothing. You are truly amazing."

Sally blushed a deep red as soon as the last word left her lips. Had she really said that out loud ? Actually, Wufei blushed too, and an awkward silence suddenly fell. When Lucrezia finally arrived, Sally could have kissed her, so grateful was she to the one who could save her from making a fool of herself. To calm down, she tried to remember that she had opened that young man's wife's body to explore every cavity, but for the first time ever, it didn't work. In fact, being one to know how painful Long Meiran's death had been because she had autopsied her, she admired Wufei even more for being able to have such a cool head. She knew she would probably have been charging off to kill the damn woman had she been in his place.

"Am I interrupting something ?", Lucrezia asked.

"Absolutely not !", Sally protesting a bit too vehemently.

Which had the expected effect of making Noin believe that yes, she had actually interrupted something. But neither Sally nor Wufei shooed her off.

"I just though I could go through the rest of what Colonel Fujirawa told me", she said.

"Do we need to keep it confidential ?"

"No. And anyway, Mr Chang already knows about this inquiry."

Wufei noticed with relief that she didn't get into the whole "the victim's family should not get involved" speech. Actually, Agent Noin seemed to understand that their little group was now a part of her inquiry, and she didn't intend to keep any valuable information away from them.

"I had time to call Milliardo", Lucrezia said. "He didn't seem to be too surprised by the story, although I don't know where he could have learnt anything about it. The thing about Mr Winner infuriated him, though. He told me flat out he knew where the files were. He agreed to stay undercover a while longer to retrieve them and have them sent back to you."

"That's very nice of him", Sally said. "What about the fact that now, our two jurisdiction are stepping onto each other ?"

"I talked to Colonel Fujirawa, and I convinced her. You are the pathologist who autopsied all the victims. You had a profile established from your conclusions. You were the first on the inquiry. On the other hand, the GSA has the material and resources to help you on this case. Colonel Fujirawa agreed that it would be a waste of time for us to have another pathologist from our own agency to work with us, especially if all he does is basically rereading your own notes. So, I got you clearances into the Special Squad."

"You .. you mean your boss wants me to become a GSA Agent ?", Sally asked, not really believing her luck.

That would be so much simpler than working beside the GSA and having to pay attention where she stepped. She would have access to all the files, and be part of the inquiry. She would have far greater means. Arresting Lady Une would become a definite possibility.

Lucrezia grinned, following her best friend's trail of thoughts.

"I mean my boss already made you a GSA Agent, Sally. There are some things you need to sign, of course, but officially as of now, you are the second commanding officer on this inquiry. Welcome on board, Agent Water."

O.O.O.O.O

(1) Japanese for "Listen to me". Katoru is the way Quatre's name is written in katakana, since the word is French. This is the way Heero will keep on calling him throughout the end of this fic, because I wanted him to have his own way to call him that would be different from the 'Cat' nickname that Duo uses.

(2) Chinese for 'I love you'.