DISCLAIMER: The characters, story, universe, etc. of Neon Genesis
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to
them.
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" " = speech
^ ^ = thoughts
_ _ = italics
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Angels of Armageddon
Chapter 19: Choices, Consequences
Author: Ryan Xavier
"This is HQ to all available units..." a sleepy voice muttered, in the
darkness of the empty room. Kensuke, the boy it belonged to, rolled
over, still unconscious. "ETA 24 seconds..." Silence fell again in
the room.
"It's got a lock on me, it's..." he muttered. "Targeting...Warning,
ammunition levels critical. Weapon...depleted..."
His eyes cracked sleepily, and he groaned. It took him several seconds
to get any idea of where he was, and to remember what had happened
prior to ending up here.
"Huh?" was all he could muster. Just a moment ago, he'd been sitting
in an Eva cockpit, just like he'd always dreamed. He'd done...
something...and now he was here? In a dark, unfamiliar room, on a hard
cot, barely able to see anything. He wondered where his glasses were.
Even more unsettling than suddenly finding himself here was how quiet
it was. In the dark, the absence of sound was magnified tenfold, until
his own heartbeat was thunderous, as though trying to fill the void
with its regular thumps.
The silence finally broke, though, as he heard someone else moving
nearby.
"Hello?" he asked. Without his glasses, the already-dark room was
nothing but a black blur, making it utterly impossible to see anything
at all.
"Aida?" asked a sleepy voice. "Is that you?"
"Um...yes?"
"It's Maya Ibuki," the speaker identified herself. "I was keeping an
eye on the infirmary while we're down here..."
"Down where?"
"NERV. Come on, I can explain. Can you move?"
Kensuke responded by sitting up and swinging his legs off the cot. He
winced as his bare feet hit the cold tiles. "Why are we in NERV?" he
asked.
"...We had to," Maya answered after a pause that was too long. "It was
for our own safety. Here," she said curtly, handing him his glasses.
"There's some shoes by the door. You'll need them."
Dropping his glasses back onto his head, Kensuke could now see Maya's
silhouette in the darkness. "All right. Ibuki-san...who else is here?
Was anyone hurt?"
There was a long, tense silence before Maya finally replied.
"Akagi...Ritsuko was here for a little while for a head injury. Ni-san
was here earlier, too."
"Ariel?" Kensuke asked, finding the shoes by the door. "What
happened?"
"She got sick, after..." Maya trailed off. "Well, it doesn't matter, I
guess. She got better after a day or so."
"Oh, okay," Kensuke said, searching the wall for a light switch. "Not
many wounded, then? That's good."
Maya did not reply to that. Kensuke got the distinct impression that
he'd just said something that he shouldn't have.
Maya went to the door, opening it, allowing in the dim red illumination
of emergency lights. "You've been out a few days, Aida," she said,
quietly. "A lot has happened. We had to move everyone down here, to
be safe."
"From what? Did the Evas get over here? I thought we were going to
fight at a safe distance so - "
"Aida, just...stop talking for a minute. Come with me."
Kensuke followed her out of the room and down the hall. As soon as he
looked out, he could see that something was wrong. The hallway looked
like a disaster area. It was twisted along its length, as though a
giant had grabbed both ends and torqued it. The ceiling was partially
collapsed in several places, rubble littering the old tiles. Many
places were cast into darkness by broken lights. These places, he had
to follow Maya carefully, watching her footsteps to see where it was
safe to go.
The whole way, Kensuke stayed quiet. The halls were eerily empty,
something that he knew spoke volumes about what was going on. He was
getting unsettled; this was looking too much like that time when he and
the others had ventured down here, getting attacked by some insane
soldier along the way.
But what could have done this? An Eva? He doubted it, even though he
wasn't quite sure how much power they had. This wasn't the localized
chaos of a giant robot's attack, but was a more general destruction.
It almost looked like an earthquake had ripped through here.
Maya navigated them through the labrynth of corridors, made even more
difficult now by the recent destruction. Finally, though, they arrived
at an open area, where there were other people. Kensuke recognized
many of them: Ariel, Asuka, Misato, and Ritsuko, the last of which had
her head bandaged. He also noted Misato had some gauze on one of her
ears, giving her face a strangely lopsided look.
"He's awake," Maya announced, as she stumbled through the hallway and
into the room.
Ritsuko and Misato spared Kensuke a glance at this, giving him a nod
before looking away. Asuka made no move at all. The girl was leaning
against a wall, staring at a point on the floor with unfocused eyes,
arms hanging limp at her sides. Ariel stood near her, her eyes filled
with some emotion halfway between sadness and anger. Kensuke looked at
her, not understanding, and feeling his own spirits fall, seeing the
downcast look on her face.
"Good morning?" Kensuke tried, feeling the tension. There was no
response. "Um, Soryu, are you - "
Maya cut him off by clamping one hand on his shoulder. Looking up to
her, Kensuke saw Maya shaking her head, quietly telling him to leave
Asuka alone.
Kensuke went quiet, then. Now he knew something was wrong. Where was
everyone? Presumably, the Americans were down here too. These ruins
were officially American property, and all. He could only guess that
maybe these few people were waiting for something.
He started pacing, not knowing what else he could do. After a few
minutes of this, he became aware of some attention, annoyed glances at
him, quietly asking him to stop.
"Aida," a quiet voice said, finally.
Kensuke jumped a little, at the voice that had come from behind him.
Whirling, he saw Ariel's face, framed as always by her snow-white hair.
"Ni-san, uh, I - " he tried to say, hesitantly, but his voice failed
him.
"Your pacing is getting bothersome. Sit down," she said. "I'll try to
explain."
Kensuke obediently sat down against the wall. Ariel crouched down
opposite him. She glanced over her shoulder at Asuka, who it seemed
hadn't even noticed Ariel leaving her side.
"The short of it is, we won the battle," Ariel began, whispering.
Kensuke nodded, giving her a blank look. "Isn't that good?" he said.
"Only to the ignorant," she said, giving him an angry look that Kensuke
remembered getting from Asuka all too many times. It was amazing how
many mannerisms the two girls shared, he thought to himself.
"The enemy proved too resilient for our units," she explained. "We
simply couldn't stop it. In the end, the Americans had to launch a
powerful missile of mass destruction."
"A nuke?" Kensuke asked, breathlessly. He felt a chill go down his
spine, at the thought of it. It made sense; a nuclear weapon made
enough of a shockwave to make a localized earthquake. That would
explain why they were in NERV now, and why the halls were in such
chaos. Would they have to stay down here? Was all that awaited them
outside an irradiated wasteland?
"Not an atomic weapon," Ariel said, quenching his fears even as they
formed. "A more powerful version of the N2 mine. It was able to
destroy the enemy."
"We're sure?" Kensuke asked.
"I am," Ariel answered, cryptically. She said no more, and her
expression made it clear that no explanation would be offered.
"So..." Kensuke tried, finally. "Is everything OK topside? Was anyone
hurt?"
Ariel took a breath and let it out slowly. "We were able to safely
evacuate the camp down to here. Most people are deeper underground.
Some of the soldiers are trying to find a way out, right now. There
were two...three presumed casualties," Ariel said, holding up one hand
to silence him. "We have been unable to locate Rei Ayanami."
Kensuke went quiet, thinking about that. Rei dead? It was something
that shouldn't have affected him, he thought. She was such a quiet
girl...he hadn't really known her that well. But all the same, she'd
been part of his life, and to think that she was now gone...well, maybe
not, he thought, his mind looking for something to hold onto. They
just hadn't been able to find her. Maybe...
"Who else?" Kensuke asked. "You said three casualties."
Ariel's eyes looked down then, her face going sad enough that Kensuke
felt a part of him go out to her. He wanted to tell her it was all
right...but he didn't even know what 'it' was.
"The only ones we were unable to evacuate," Ariel finally answered.
"They were forced to take the full blast from the American missile."
She paused, watching as it sunk it. Kensuke had just figured it out
when Ariel confirmed his fears. "The Eva pilots."
Kensuke blinked, disbelieving. Now Kaoru was dead, too? But then
who'd been in Unit-04?
It clicked, then. The sadness pervading the room, the look on Asuka's
face, the notable absence of someone he should have known to look for
immediately...
"No," Kensuke said. "No, no it's just not possible..."
"Control yourself, Aida," Ariel said, giving him that angry look again.
Kensuke thought he could see the beginnings of some tears in her eyes.
"I have been through too much already to watch someone else break
down." Her voice quavered a little at first, until she got a hold of
herself.
Kensuke tried to say something, but his throat had closed up. He just
shook his head, his mind simply unable to accept what he'd heard.
"I am sorry," Ariel muttered, looking away from him. "It has been a
very difficult couple of days." She stood up, looking down at him,
now. "If you want to talk later..." she said, trailing off and
shrugging.
Kensuke might have replied somehow, but he never got the chance, as a
voice came from up another hallway.
"We're through!" it shouted, in English.
Slowly, the women began to move, first Ritsuko, then Maya and Misato,
then Ariel, who had to gently take Asuka by the hand, leading her up
the hallway. Kensuke followed at what he hoped was a safe distance.
The hallway they were in now had a definite upward angle to it, leading
towards what was hopefully the surface. It was completely dark, except
for the flickering beams of high-intensity flashlights further up the
corridor. They moved, not speaking, towards the lights. Finally, they
arrived at a thick metal door. Around it were several Americans,
technicians and soldiers, with the familiar form of Colonel Lewis
standing among them, muttering orders.
The soldiers at the door were talking. After a few moments, Lewis came
back to them. He still stood a good distance off, like a man before
wolves, giving himself time to get away if they attacked. Kensuke
looked at him, feeling not angry, but strangely betrayed. He somehow
knew it had been Lewis who'd ordered the launch. As the highest-
ranking officer, it only made sense. How could he have done that?
"False alarm," he said. "We got to turn back. This door's no good."
"Why?" Kensuke asked, immediately.
Lewis looked at him, and Kensuke was shocked to see a hint of sadness
in Lewis' eyes.
"Because it's welded shut, kid," he answered, quietly. "Melted down
from the outside."
There was a quiet sound from behind Kensuke, sounding something like a
sob. Lewis looked over Kensuke's shoulder, at the group of Japanese.
"Don't suppose you people got a back door to this place?" he asked.
The answer was just a tense, angry silence, as everyone avoided eye
contact, not out of fear, but hate.
The unsettling quiet was broken, suddenly, by a ground tremor, shaking
the floor and reverberating down the passage they'd come through,
before finally falling silent again.
"What was that?" Kensuke asked, his voice echoing in the new silence,
this one tense, and smelling of fear.
He got his answer quickly enough, as a horrible sound of shrieking
metal came from further up the hall, at the door. All eyes turned to
the door as the Americans jumped clear. The solid steel frame began to
quiver, then come loose. Daylight poured in through the rent in the
wall, as the door was forcibly worked loose. Apprehension turned to
horror as massive fingers appeared, clad in armor, slipping in to grasp
the ruined door from inside, and finally tear it free.
"Evac!" Lewis ordered. "Everyone back into the compound!" There was
no argument, as everyone - save one - began to run, away from the ruin
of the door, away from the monster waiting for them outside.
Only one person did not run. Her white hair blasted back by the wind
coming in from outside, Ariel's eyes narrowed, as the door vanished
entirely, tossed aside like the worthless scrap of metal it had become.
Outside, a gigantic foot could be seen, gleaming blue in the sun.
Not a trace of fear on her face, Ariel strode forward, exiting the
passage, stepping onto the soil outside, and looking up at the giant
that awaited her.
"Was that necessary, Tabris?" she shouted at it. Amid the din of
running and shouts for Ariel to come back, what she said was lost on
the others.
"My apologies," a thunderous voice came from outside. "But I could
tell you could not get the door open from your side." Hearing this,
people began to stop running, and a few began to go back. One by one,
they exited the passage, stepping onto the ruined world that lay
beyond.
Unit-00 stood outside. Many people just stared at the giant,
disbelieving. They'd seen it on the monitors. They'd seen it fight.
It had been gutted, crushed, and finally decapitated. But yet, here it
stood, miraculously healed, looking as though it had just been built,
and gazing down at them like a protective parent.
Having established that the Eva was on their side, many people began to
survey the territory around them. They went quiet, looking. They said
nothing; nothing needed to be said.
They had all seen destruction before. Be it from war, Eva combat, or
even Third Impact itself, they had all seen the world go mad, falling
into destruction and turmoil. But this was worse. This was not simply
destruction. This...was oblivion.
The ground had been blasted flat. The red, dusty soil they had grown
accustomed to was gone, stripped away forever. All that was left was
hard rock, still hot, burning their feet. Of the camp, nothing was left.
There were not even ruins, not even scraps of metal or rock or blood.
There was simply nothing, as far as the eye could see.
"Good to see you," Lewis shouted at the Eva. "What's your status?"
"I do not report to you, Colonel," Kaoru answered, the Eva looking down
at him accusingly. "But I believe you can see the status from where
you stand. Unit-00 is functional. But there is nothing else I can
see."
"What about Shinji?" a voice asked. Kensuke turned, looking back at
the voice. Asuka looked up at Unit-00's cyclopean visage, barely
restrained panic on her face.
There was a long pause. The silence said more than any words. Unit-00
shaking its head was merely punctuation to the message, confirmed by
Kaoru's next words.
"There is nothing," he said. "Nothing of the enemy, of Unit-04, of
Rei, of Shinji, of anything near ground zero." He paused, before
saying the words no one wanted to hear, terrible with their truth.
"They're gone."
* * *
"What did Ritsuko say, anyway?" Asuka was asking.
Shinji just shook his head, as he ducked into the tent he and Asuka
shared. He sat down hard and looked at her.
"She said she didn't know," he finally answered. "At least, I'm pretty
sure that's what she was saying."
"Those scientists," Asuka commented, sarcastically, as she sat down
next to Shinji. "Never want to just come out and say they don't know.
Would mean they aren't the smartest people anymore."
"I guess," Shinji replied humorlessly.
"So what's going to happen with Aida?"
Now Shinji put a small smile on his face. It was good to know that
Asuka had some capacity to care for 'the stooge'. "I'm not sure," he
answered. "He's still breathing, but I can't say much more."
"Oh," Asuka said, quietly. The look in her eyes asked the question she
hadn't put into words.
"There's no way he'll be able to pilot an Eva," Shinji said, so quietly
it was almost a whisper. "Even if he wakes up tomorrow...he won't be
able to complete his pilot training." He hung his head. "It was such
a stupid idea. I shouldn't have let him..."
Asuka gingerly touched Shinji's shoulder. "You couldn't have stopped
him," she said, quietly. "You know he's always wanted to be a pilot."
Shinji's only reply was to shake his head. Asuka said nothing, putting
her arm around him and just waiting for him to gather himself back
together. After a time, she heard him whispering something.
"...for Unit-04," she heard him say.
"What?"
Shinji looked up at her. "We need to find another pilot for Unit-04.
Kaoru-kun can't do it on his own," he added, seeing Asuka about to cut
in. "He needs backup. With Rei...in prison, he needs someone else to
help him. Alone, I don't know if he can..."
Asuka shook her head. "Hey, he's a good pilot. Almost as good as
me," she said. "Besides, he'll be better if he's actually _in_ the Eva
this time, right?"
Shinji shook his head. "I don't know. That's the thing. There's just
too many...damn unknowns..."
Asuka shrugged. "All right Shinji-chan, but where are you going to
find someone crazy enough to jump in that deathtrap and go charging
into battle? If it were my old Unit-02, I'd be first in line, but this
American piece of crap's been a disaster ever since we first saw it."
Another tiny smile on Shinji's lips. "Yeah." He let out a breath.
"But Ritsuko-san and me were talking about that, too. She...she didn't
say it straight out, but she suggested a backup pilot."
"Really?" Asuka asked, incredulous. "Don't tell me it's one of the
Americans, 'cause I'd rather fight an Eva with my bare hands than..."
She trailed off, as Shinji looked at her. His expression was what
caught her attention: quiet, impassive, but also resolute. Eyes that
looked for approval, but that looked ready to go on without it.
It took Asuka only a few seconds to realize just who it was Ritsuko had
suggested.
"No," she said, firmly. "No, I won't - "
"I have to," Shinji said, quietly.
"No!" Asuka shouted at him. "Right after seeing Aida get almost killed
just from sitting in it, you're going to be _stupid_ enough to jump
in?"
Shinji shook his head. "I have to take the chance," he said. "If I
don't, Kaoru will - "
"To hell with that weirdo!" Asuka shouted at him, standing up as best
she could in the low-ceilinged tent. "I can't just watch you go get
yourself killed!"
Shinji didn't move, just kept his eyes on her. "I'm sorry, Asuka."
Asuka shook her head violently. "No, no, NO! Don't apologize to me,
Ikari. That doesn't just make it better." She stared at him with eyes
like hot coals. Shinji looked away, but said nothing, and looked no
less determined.
Asuka sat back down, across the tent from him this time. "You can't,"
she said, more calmly this time. "You can't just throw it all away.
Two _years_, Shinji! If you die, it'll all be..."
"If I don't try, it'll all be moot anyway," he replied. He crawled
over to her. "Will you be there?" he asked, brushing some hair away
from her face.
Asuka continued to look angry at him, but after a moment she crushed
him into a tight hug. "Of course," she said, quietly. "Don't you
die."
"I'll do my best."
* * *
Asuka's eyes opened, as she took a sharp breath. Just for a minute,
he'd been there. She could only think that that had been her last real
conversation with Shinji. True, they'd spoken to each other between
then and the battle, but that had been the last time they'd really
_talked_.
"Are you awake?"
Asuka shifted in her seat, looking over to Ariel, sitting next to her.
The concerned look on the girl's face helped, if only a little.
They were seated on a plane again, headed back across the country to
the main camp they'd left behind what felt like years ago. The roar of
the engines was strangely lulling; Asuka had slept for the first time
in days here. But after seeing what - or who - awaited her in her
dreams, she didn't want to go back to sleep.
"I just don't believe it," Asuka mumbled. Ariel nodded, trying to look
encouraging. "I mean...I just think about it, and it feels like some
kind of dream. Like any minute I'm going to wake up and he's going to
be there again."
Ariel nodded again. "That's how it can be," she said. "I know."
"You've..." Asuka trailed off, unable to say any more. She swallowed.
"You've been in a situation like this?"
"I've lost friends before," Ariel said, looking away. "It hits you
right here," she said, putting one hand on her chest. "And the first
thing you think is that no, it can't be happening. Nothing so terrible
could happen to me." She looked at Asuka with a sad smile.
Asuka shook her head. "I just keep thinking about what I could have
done. I could have warned him it was coming. Maybe...I don't know,
maybe he could have gotten away in time. I know all that stuff about
'minimum safe distance,' and all, but this was Shinji!" she said,
sharply. "If anyone could've gotten to safety, it would have been
him."
Ariel put a hand on Asuka's arm, squeezing it briefly before letting
go. Asuka didn't seem to notice. She muttered something under her
breath: "I should have been the one in Unit-04."
"And then you'd have Shinji feeling how you do, now?" Ariel said,
immediately.
Asuka blinked in surprise, glancing sideways at Ariel. Finally, she
shook her head in defeat. "No," she said. "I wouldn't want that."
Ariel watched Asuka continue to mutter. It was painful, knowing
exactly how Asuka thought and not being able to act on it, at least not
directly. Asuka was looking for someone to blame, someone she could
get angry at. If she was angry, she wouldn't be sad anymore. There
were only so many people to target with her rage, though. It wasn't
like Zero was around anymore.
Zero. Ariel felt conflicting emotions on that subject, herself.
Through her own enhanced senses, as well as speaking to the people
who'd been in the command bunker, she'd found that Zero had been out
there, somehow. Involved in this combat which had resulted in the
launching of a missile so powerful that even Zeruel had not been able
to stand up to it. The mere existence of such a weapon was enough to
give Ariel chills. To see the Angel of Might fall to a mortal
weapon...
She shook her head, quietly. If that weapon could kill Zeruel, then
Zero would have been reduced to nothingness on the spot. In a
heartbeat, Ariel had been handed the very thing she'd been wishing for.
Zero, the one who'd damned her and her brethren to an eternity of
isolation, was finally gone. So then, why did she not feel happier?
Perhaps it was this human quality called empathy. It was difficult to
feel elated when everyone around her was in borderline despair. Was
she just mimicking the feelings of the people around her?
No, it was something else. Simply hearing about Zero's death through
secondhand accounts had just not been enough for her. Zero had
committed a horrible crime against her and the others. She'd locked
them away and forgotten them, throwing them down a slow descent into
madness. When they'd broken free, Zero had set about killing them,
obliterating their very souls. Ariel had wanted Zero dead, but she had
wanted to do it herself. To feel Zero's throat crushing under her
fingers, to see her take her last gasp...
To top it all off, Zero had died in such a way that she'd taken Shinji
with her. Ariel's feelings towards the boy were mixed. He'd been one
of the warriors who'd fought against her and her brethren, but she
hadn't harbored the same hatred for him as she had for Zero. She'd
wanted to learn more about him, find out just what it was that had
given a boy the strength to stand up to angels.
That, she thought, and Shinji had clearly meant very much to Asuka.
This close to the girl, Ariel could literally feel what was going on
inside Asuka's mind; she was trying not to break apart, and the
struggle was draining her, leaving her a weak, hollowed-out shell of
her former self. Ariel wondered if the girl would ever be the same.
^Damn you, Zero,^ she thought to herself. ^You can't even die right.^
Ariel could feel them making the final descent towards the air strip at
the camp. The flight was nearly over, now. Soon, they would come to
the hard part, of breaking the news to the people there. Ariel looked
over to Asuka, knowing that her friend was not in any condition for
that sort of thing, not yet.
"What bothers me," she began, quietly. Asuka looked to her, eyes
blank. "What bothers me is that you look like you're holding it in,"
Ariel explained. "You haven't found an outlet, yet."
Asuka's eyes narrowed. "I don't cry," she said. "Not anymore."
"That's one way," Ariel conceded. "And it's not a sign of weakness,
you know. Losing someone can be hard." She shrugged. "I remember
when I lost a friend, I threw up."
Asuka snorted, in what could have been a very small laugh. "Like you
did back in NERV," she said, quietly. "You were pretty sick, back
there."
"Yeah..." Ariel said, hesitantly. She clenched one hand on her knee,
nervously, knowing she'd probably said too much. "Well, I have a weak
stomach, sometimes."
"I think you actually threw up more than you ate," Asuka was saying.
"How'd you do that, anyway?"
Ariel held up one hand. "Stop trying to avoid the subject," she said.
"You need some way to let it out." She kept her hand up, gesturing for
Asuka not to speak for another moment. "You don't have to cry," she
said. "I know you didn't want to cry after your mother, that's fine.
But - "
"Wait a minute," Asuka said. She looked at Ariel curiously. "How'd
you know that?"
Ariel blinked. "Know what?" she asked innocently.
"My mother," she said. "I don't think I ever told you about that."
Ariel froze, feeling her heartbeat accelerate. Her mind searched in
vain for an excuse. She tried to console herself, telling herself that
there was no way Asuka could suspect the truth. She still had to say
something, though, or the girl's imagination would begin to work its
magic. But what to say?
Fate stepped in, giving her some temporary relief. With a strong
_thud_, the airplane touched down.
She and Asuka were jerked in their seats, making both of them jump a
little. "We're here," Ariel announced needlessly, acting as though
Asuka hadn't asked her anything.
Asuka just turned away. She wasn't in the mood for suspecting her
friend, not now anyway. She just looked out the window.
Outside, she could see buildings, recently erected, looking not unlike
the shelters the Americans had put up back at NERV. It looked like
they'd done a good job rebuilding after the incident with the berserk
Unit-00.
Along the airstrip, she could also see people, come to see them land.
A plane was still a rare thing these days, so much so that people would
drop what they were doing just to see it come down.
The plane landed safely, and taxied over to the side, ready for its
passengers to debark. However, before Asuka could get out of her seat,
she saw something outside that made her breath catch: Hikari, standing
there quietly, hands clasped in front of her. Asuka remembered how she
and Hikari had had a fight, though about what she could no longer
remember. She'd resolved not to look at Hikari as a friend any longer,
but seeing her out here, she knew that the other girl did not feel the
same. Hikari had come, to see her friend arrive home safely.
But that was not the worst. Next to Hikari stood Toji, his arm around
her waist, holding her close and shielding her against the winds as the
plane finally ground to a halt. Hikari was leaning on him, taking in
his warmth, his strength.
Asuka closed her eyes, unable to look any more. She tried to get up,
but her legs just wouldn't move. She felt something well up inside of
her, something she thought she'd cut away, something she'd seen as
useless and weak. But all the same, here it was.
A single tear appeared, trickling down her face before dropping off her
chin, sinking into the fabric of her pants as her fists clenched. She
prayed no one had seen that, but someone had: Ariel had put her arm
around Asuka, hugging her, trying to be supportive. Asuka covered her
face, feeling more tears coming.
* * *
Lewis was at the radio. He'd again removed the slip of paper from one
pocket, but not before sliding his sunglasses down over his eyes. His
eyes hidden behind opaque lenses, it was impossible to tell when he was
looking at them and when he was looking at the radio. In his free hand,
he held his gun, using it to hold off Asuka and Misato, standing just a
few meters away in the command bunker.
"I'm putting an end to this bullshit," he said, to no one in
particular. "You might believe in that kid, but I can't, not after
what I've seen that thing do."
"You can't," Asuka said, taking a step forwards. At a gesture from the
gun, however, she stepped back again. "You'll kill him. You'll kill
us _all_."
"If you've got a plan B, I'd love to hear it. But what I see is a monster
that wipes out everything, your robots and my jets alike." He stared at
them, the laser sight appearing as his finger squeezed the trigger halfway.
"Lucifer squadron's gone. Even your blue robot's just a pile of scrap, now.
You think I want to put my faith in one little kid driving a robot he doesn't
even know how to control?"
"Shinji can do it," Misato said, quietly.
Lewis stared at her, shaking his head after a moment. "I only wish I
could have faith like that," he said, quietly. "But that's just the
way the world is, now." He picked up the radio receiver. "God's left
us. All that's left is what we can do for ourselves."
Misato and Asuka could only watch, helpless. They outnumbered him, two to
one. A scant three meters separated them from him. If they both rushed him,
one of them could make it to him, stop him before he could give the order to
launch. But no one wanted to be first. No one wanted to be the one who got
shot.
"This is Colonel Lewis," he said into the radio. "Requesting launch of
single S2 missile." He paused. "I understand. But I only need one
launched. I don't see any reason to fire them all." Another pause.
"I will assume full responsibility. Prepare missile. Authorization
code is..." he looked at the paper and rattled off a long series of
numbers and letters.
Misato started forward. "No!" she shouted.
Lewis' response was immediate. The Desert Eagle pointed towards her,
laser sight appearing. His finger squeezed the trigger, and there was
a sudden thunderclap as the gun bucked in his hand.
* * *
"...ato? Misato! Are you listening?"
Misato came out of her daze. "Hm? Oh, yes," she said.
Ritsuko shook her head, continuing with her debriefing of the battle.
"So it seems the enemy Eva had focused its AT field into its arm
weapons," she explained. "The result, of course, was the nigh-
impenetrability noted on its body. The weak spot was the arms
themselves; their edges corresponded with the weakest spots on its AT
field, and hence were the logical place to attack."
"Right, right," Misato agreed, only half-listening. Absentmindedly,
she fingered her left ear, currently wrapped up in bandages. Lewis,
crazy bastard he was, had shot off her earlobe. It hadn't been a miss;
she'd seen the man shoot, and at that range even a child could have hit
somewhere lethal. This had been his version of a warning shot. It had
certainly done the job; she'd frozen where she stood, wondering where
she was hit, if she was going to die. The next moment, he'd launched
the missile.
She'd choked, in that last moment. She'd let a little nick stop her
from saving Shinji. Every time she thought about it, she was sure
there was something else she could have done. She could have kept
_moving_, tackled Lewis before he could give the command to fire. She
couldn't help thinking that it would have worked, even though she knew
in the back of her mind that he would have just fired again, and it
wouldn't have been another warning shot.
"...which led to the total dissolution of the target." Ritsuko was
still going, apparently not noticing that Misato was no longer paying
attention.
They currently sat in one of the buildings the Americans had put up in
their absence. This one was serving as a combination hospital and
science lab, a good place for Ritsuko to set up shop. This was the
first time Misato had set foot in the building; Ritsuko was intent on
debriefing her about the battle.
"Why are we bothering with this?" Misato asked, suddenly, cutting
Ritsuko off. "We both know what happened. We won, didn't we?" she
asked, bitterly.
Ritsuko paused, looking at her old friend, trying to figure out what to
say. "In a manner of speaking," she said. "But it's also best to
understand the mechanics of this, so we can avoid a repeat. You should
know that, Misato." She paused, letting that sink in. "Now, I don't
know if Unit-04 will be salvageable, but we will certainly try."
The direct blast of the S2 missile had disintegrated the MP Eva down to
its waist. The rest had crumbled into dust at some point later. Unit-
04, about half a kilometer from ground zero, had not done much better.
It had been shielded somewhat by the LCL lake, but not much. The LCL
had flash-boiled, evaporating in less than a second as the blast hit.
When they'd first seen it, Unit-04 had not been recognizeable as such.
It had just been a lump of melted slag, in a vaguely humanoid shape.
Kaoru said he could run Unit-00's S2 engine through it to spark
regeneration, but Misato didn't know how hopeful to get.
"Of Ikari and Ayanami, there was no sign," Ritsuko explained,
emotionlessly. "Though that in itself leads to several interesting
questions."
"You mean who died first?" Misato asked, angrily. "Or whether they
melted, or exploded?" She shook her head. "Maybe their blood boiled
first. It's all just science, isn't it?"
Ritsuko calmly folded her hands in her lap. "I understand you're
angry, Misato. But there's no sense in taking it out on me. If you do
not want to be here, you don't have to be."
"Sorry, Ritsu," Misato said, standing up. "It's just...too soon, I
think. Maybe later." She headed for the door.
"Misato," Ritsuko said firmly, as Misato put her hand on the knob.
Misato let out a small sigh, turning around to look. "What is it?" she
asked, tired.
Ritsuko was on her feet, now. "The questions I mentioned are relating
to an AT-field blip that appeared just after the moment of detonation.
We know that Rei was developing some further control over her field,
which is interesting."
"What are you saying?"
Ritsuko took a breath. "Maybe it's too soon to give up hope," she
said. "There's a faint possibility they could have survived."
Misato stared at Ritsuko, looking to see if she was serious. Seeing
the firm look in Ritsuko's eyes, Misato just shook her head. Turning
to face her, Misato took one step, closing the distance, drawing back
one arm.
A loud slap resounded off the walls of the room. Ritsuko's head jerked
to the side with the force of the impact, but her expression remained
impassive. Misato, her hand stinging, left, not saying a word.
It was good no one was outside when she left; Misato made it halfway
around the building before she had to stop, leaning against the wall,
covering her face as tears trickled around her fingers.
Damn her! Damn Ritsuko, trying to give her hope when there wasn't any.
Misato had been there; she'd seen the blast site. A perfect outline of
Rei and Shinji had been scorched into the ground itself; that was all
that was left of them. There wasn't even anything left to bury.
She stayed there a few minutes, trying to gather herself back up. She
needed to find something to occupy her mind, she knew. Once she'd
managed to regain her composure, she started walking, heading for the
small house that had been built for Asuka. Her mind had chanced upon
something, remembering that yesterday, Asuka had been talking about
going to see Colonel Lewis. Misato had been unable to come; she and
Ritsuko had been busy trying to set up the small science building she'd
just walked from. Maybe now she could see just how it had gone.
The house looked dark, even in the full noon sunlight. Misato knocked
gently, hearing no response. The doorknob turned in her hand, so she
let herself in.
"Hello?" she called out, her voice echoing off the empty walls. There
was only silence for her answer. Misato searched around; there were
only a few rooms here, the best the Americans had been able to build on
short notice. After a moment, she found Asuka, sitting in the largest
room, curled up against one wall.
"Hey," Misato said, worried. She knelt down next to Asuka. "Are you
all right?"
Asuka didn't respond. She just looked at Misato, her lips tight with
emotion. She was squeezing her legs up against her chest, her hands
shaking with the effort. Strangely, she wore a large pair of
sunglasses, even in the darkened room.
"Do you want to be alone?" Misato asked. Asuka nodded once.
Misato turned as though to leave, but just sat down against the
opposite wall instead. "Too bad," she said. "I feel like being alone,
too."
They sat there, in silence, for a long time. Misato waited patiently,
knowing that Asuka wanted to talk, even if she wasn't saying it. It
was just a matter of time, and she knew that Asuka would have to let it
out eventually.
Finally, Asuka muttered something. "It's his fault."
Misato finally looked up, waking from the half-daze she'd fallen into,
waiting. "What?"
"It's his fault," Asuka said, louder. "That bastard American. He
pushed the fucking button. He killed my Shinji."
Misato bit her lip. She'd have guessed this was how it would turn out.
"I know," she said, in quiet agreement.
"It's his fault," Asuka muttered again.
Misato got the strange feeling that whatever it was Asuka was saying,
it was all just a faint echo of some earlier outburst. Normally, she
was much louder when something was bothering her this much.
"Is something wrong, Asuka?" she tried.
"I'm fine," Asuka answered too quickly. "Just fucking fine."
After a few moments of silence, Misato tried a new tack. "So I hear
you went to talk to the Colonel, last night," she said, sounding like
she was just trying to make small talk.
Asuka didn't say anything, but Misato got the distinct impression the
girl had just rolled her eyes behind those sunglasses.
"Were you angry at him, then?" Misato asked.
Asuka gave her a dry look. "No, of course not," she said,
sarcastically. "I went to thank him for blowing up my boyfriend and
almost vaporizing all of _us_ with the fucking shockwave." Her voice
was frighteningly calm, the whole time. Misato tensed, sensing an
explosion. It came a heartbeat later.
"Of _course_ I was angry!" Asuka shouted, jumping to her feet. "I
wanted to kill him!"
"Is that what you tried?" Misato asked, keeping her own voice even.
Asuka snorted, turning her back to Misato. Behind her, Misato stood up
quietly, approaching Asuka slowly.
"Asuka, I need to know," she said. "Did you two fight?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Asuka bit out.
Misato let out a slow breath. "Asuka, when I was in college, there was
this girl I knew," she began, slowly. "She had a real jerk boyfriend,
violent and insecure. The thing is, you could always tell when they'd
had a fight, because the next day, well...she'd be wearing sunglasses."
Asuka turned around, facing her. She'd clenched her jaw, either out of
anger or to keep control over herself, to keep from looking weak.
Slowly, she reached up and slid her sunglasses off.
"Oh, Asuka..." Misato whispered.
* * *
The American side of the encampment was much less permanent than the
Japanese, which only made sense; the Americans were supposed to only be
a temporary presence, after all. As such, most of the men still lived
in tents. Misato's hands were clenched tight, as she approached
Lewis' tent. The guard at the entrance nodded at her and stepped
aside, letting her in without a word. Apparently, she was expected.
"Colonel!" she almost shouted as she entered. "Where are you?"
"And a good afternoon to you too, Katsuragi," came a slightly slurred
voice from the back. Half-obscured behind a pile of boxes and bedding,
Lewis sat in shadow, a bottle clearly visible in his hand.
Misato shook her head. "You're disgusting," she said, angrily. She
took a step towards him, noting quickly that his gun lay on a table,
unloaded and partially disassembled.
The response to this was a small burp. Then: "What the hell're you
talking about?" he asked. "Which part of that whole fiasco are _you_
going to pin on me, now?"
Misato swept her hand through the air, as though physically brushing
the matter aside. "That's not it, and you know it, Colonel," she said,
her voice shaking with anger. "Have you seen Asuka?"
"Quite recently," he answered innocently. "How is the little one?"
Misato stepped closer, standing in front of him now. "She's got a
bruise over half her face," she said, firmly. "Her left eye's swollen
shut, Colonel." Silence was the response. "She came here last night,
didn't she?" More silence. "How could you do that?"
"I don't know," Lewis answered. In the darkness, he reached up and
flicked on a light. "Why don't you tell me?" he asked, as his face was
illuminated.
Despite herself, Misato cringed. Lewis' face was covered in criss-
crossing scratch marks. A bandage was taped to one part of his jaw, a
red mark of seeping blood visible even through the layers of gauze.
Misato saw another bandage on his hand, as he took another drink from
his bottle.
She sat down in a nearby chair, looking at him. "What happened?" she
asked, more calmly this time.
"About what you'd guess," he answered, spreading his arms grandly.
"She came here and blamed me for everything. I tried talking to her,
but she just came at me. Like some kind of animal, that one. She had
all her shots?" he asked, shaking his bandaged hand sorely. He held up
that hand for her inspection. "She took a bite out of me," he said,
flatly. "When that happened, I snapped. I had to get her off of me,
so..." he trailed off, spreading his arms in the same gesture, then
putting his flask down. "Self-defense," he concluded.
Misato shook her head. "That's still no excuse - "
"Hey," Lewis interrupted her, stabbing a finger accusingly at her
chest. "She doesn't need you to come here to chew me out," he said.
"She's still a kid, but she's got to learn to handle things herself,
too. So if she's got anything to say, you get her up here. Tell her I
like my apologies short and to the point."
Misato didn't move, at first. Finally, she shook her head at him.
"She's been through a lot," she finally said. "You have to cut her
some slack."
"I will as soon as she cuts me some," he answered. "By the way, did
you come here to beat me up, too? From what I saw, damn near _all_ of
you people blame me."
"Well..." Misato said, looking away. "Look at the truth, Colonel. You
ordered the strike."
Lewis let out a slow sigh. He gestured to a folding chair across from
him. Once Misato had sat down, he ran one hand over his face, as
though physically wiping away the drunkenness. The odd part was, it
seemed to work; his eyes were much more focused once he opened them
again. Misato was impressed, despite herself.
"Don't think I don't regret it," he said. "In more ways than one.
They're saying I might get court-martialed."
Misato just stared at him. "Your job?" she asked, disbelieving.
"That's all that bothers you? That you might lose - "
"Because," Lewis said, cutting her off by holding up a hand. "Because
I didn't follow the plan. The brass back home told me if I was going
to launch a missile, I was going to have to launch them all." He met
her eyes, judging her reaction as that sunk in. "They wanted this
country torched right off the map."
Misato felt a chill run up her spine. "That's impossible...how could
they...how?"
Lewis just shrugged. "I dunno. I could've made a call and had
everyone airlifted clear in less than a day, then just rained down the
fire. Could've watched your country burn on a bigscreen with surround
sound in L.A."
Misato remained silent, unable to believe what she was hearing.
"But from what I've seen, you wouldn't have liked that part," he said.
"I mean, I don't know what you people see in this country, if that's
what you can call it. But I just thought, what if it was _my_ home
that was getting burned." He shrugged again. "So I did what I had to.
If the roles were switched, what would you have done, Katsuragi?"
Misato shook her head again. "I'd have trusted Shinji," she said. "He
can handle himself. I've seen him do it, even when all the odds are
against him. You put enough pressure on him, and he could do
anything."
"I didn't know the kid as well," he replied. "All I knew was if that
thing won, then there was no other way we were going to be able to stop
it. For what it's worth...I'm sorry."
Misato sighed quietly. She could tell this man wasn't used to saying
those words. "You know that's not enough." A sad smile started
creeping across her face. "Shinji knew that too, you know. It didn't
stop him from apologizing on every other breath, though. Kid just
didn't know when to stop..." she went quiet.
"That's how it can be," Lewis said, looking at her. "We don't get the
benefit of 'the best choice' anymore. All we get is the least of many
evils. It's how the world is, now."
Misato thought about what had happened back in the battle itself. "Is
that how it is?" she asked. "What you believe, I mean. You said God
had abandoned us, back then. Do you really think that?"
Lewis shrugged. "Every time I wonder if there's a God anymore, I just
think about the last time I had to make a decision like this one. That
removes all doubt. Just means we got to work harder, Katsuragi. And
sometimes there's going to be some sacrifices."
Misato said nothing to this. She simply got up and headed for the
exit.
"You want to take a shot at me?" Lewis said, standing up behind her.
He spread his arms. "Free hit, on the guy who pushed the button."
Misato shook her head at him. "It's done," she said. "Hitting you
won't bring Shinji or Rei back. You're the one who has to live with
it." She sniffed the booze-laden air. "I'd suggest a different way of
handling it, Colonel. If you've got to do God's work now, you should
probably be sober."
* * *
"Ouch! Dammit, do you even know what you're doing?"
Lewis cringed in pain as an American doctor examined his hand. A
perfect imprint of Asuka's teeth was stamped into his left hand, just
below the thumb.
"If you'd hold still, I could do my job," the doctor said, blandly.
"I've got to clean this again. It may be getting infected."
"The fraulein sends her regards," Lewis muttered.
They sat in the medical tent on the American side of the camp. As had
become the custom in the past few days, a guard was standing outside
the tent, keeping his eyes open for Japanese personnel who sought to
'have a word' with the man who'd dropped the bomb. Originally, Lewis
had been prepared to personally handle anyone who got violent. But
now, things were different. The M-16 rifle the guard carried made it
very clear what would happen to any who tried to repeat what Asuka had
done.
"Halt," the guard's voice could be heard from outside, as a set of
footsteps approached. "Identify yourself."
"Me," came an annoyed, but familiar voice. There was a pause.
"Soryu?" the voice said, angrily. "I need to talk to your boss."
"Asuka, calm down," came Misato's voice.
"The Colonel cannot accept visitors at the moment," the guard said,
politely. "If you could wait - "
"Let 'em in," Lewis called out. "Let's see what they got to say."
There was another pause, followed by the guard muttering a curt "you
may enter." Moments later, Asuka and Misato had ducked into the tent.
Behind them, the guard stepped in, standing by the tent flap, keeping
his eyes on the women.
"Good evening again, miss Soryu," Lewis said, not looking at her. His
eyes were again on his hand, as the doctor touched it with a scalpel.
He cringed again, as an infected area burst into a small dribble of
pus. He could almost feel Misato and Asuka cringe at this.
"Got something to say?" Lewis asked. "You wanna take another shot at
me, it's a good place for it. Already in the hospital, after all," he
said, accusingly, as he turned his gaze on her.
"Right," Asuka said, looking away. "Colonel, I..." she trailed off.
Lewis raised his eyebrows at her, waiting patiently. Finally, Asuka
took a breath. "I'msorryokay? I didn't mean to..." she stopped again.
"So nice to know you need the chaperone to get you to say that," Lewis
said, sarcastically. "But anyway, I'll live. I've had worse than a
little bite." He grunted as the doctor touched some alcohol to the
scalpel cut. "Can't say I've had more _painful_, though," he said,
giving the doctor a glare, which was ignored. "Wonder if I can get
another purple heart, for this one."
"I still haven't forgiven you," Asuka said, firmly enough to make Lewis
look at her. "What you did...it was horrible. You killed them."
"I know," he said, quietly. "Things I got to do in this job...it's not
pretty, miss Soryu." He nodded to himself. "I'd ask if I could make
it up to you, but I doubt that's possible."
"No, it's not." Asuka took a deep breath and let it out slowly,
clearly holding herself back, even now. Slowly, she turned to leave.
"Been talking to your doctor friend, by the way," Lewis said. Asuka
stopped, looking over her shoulder at him, so he continued. "Didn't
quite follow all that techno-crap she was saying, but it sounds like
she thinks we shouldn't give up yet." He heard a sigh from Misato, at
this. "Something wrong, Katsuragi?"
"You know it's a lie," Misato said, firmly. "Nothing can survive a
blast like that."
Lewis shrugged, a movement that jerked his hand, causing the doctor to
scratch him with the scalpel. Cursing, he looked back to them.
"Are you looking?" Asuka asked, quickly.
Misato looked at the girl. "Asuka, don't - "
"No, wait," Asuka cut her off. "Are you looking, Colonel? Sending out
your little helicopters?"
"Asuka - " Misato tried to say.
"Have you found anything?"
Lewis shook his head, holding up his free hand to get the girl to stop.
"We don't have nearly enough choppers to search this whole country.
Even if we did, we wouldn't know where to start. But we're giving it a
go, yes. 'Fraid you can't go for a ride though, Soryu. Solaris likes
to fly solo."
"Solaris?" Asuka asked.
"Eye in the sky," Lewis answered, casually. "Kind of like a satellite,
but not exactly. It's an automated, high-flying scout plane. Skims
right on the upper atmosphere, where it can get solar power and fly
pretty much as long as we need it to. Got enough cameras to fill a
movie studio." He made a smaller shrug this time, trying not to move
his hand. "Gives us a chance to look over this country, see what we
can see."
Asuka blinked, thinking that one over. "How long have you had this
thing?" she asked, stepping towards Lewis.
The guard, seeing Asuka's move, quietly moved around the tent, coming
to stand beside Lewis, his hand resting casually on his rifle, still
slung around his shoulder.
"About a month," Lewis said, glancing at the guard. "The tech guys
back in the states didn't find it too long ago, and it took them
forever just to find a way to launch it. Not like you can just blast
Solaris off a runway."
"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Asuka asked. "A satellite...that
could be a real help. It could show us if there's any other
settlements in Japan. We could even keep an eye on those other Evas
with it...why?" She took another step towards him.
"Calm down, girl. We've been trying to get the bugs out of it for
awhile now, and anyway..."
"You needed it to launch the S2," Misato said. Both Lewis and Asuka
looked to her. "You can't launch a missile like that without a
spotter," Misato continued, staring at Lewis. "So you needed something
to target for you. A satellite would be best, but if this 'Solaris' is
what you're saying it is, then it would be just as good."
Asuka looked back at Lewis, her face turning to a mask of anger.
"That's it?" she said. "You didn't tell us you had a satellite,
because you needed it to launch your missiles?"
"Out of my hands, girl," Lewis said. "I still take orders from the
States, and those were my orders."
"You just do whatever you're told?" Asuka asked, getting a tic under
her eye. The guard tensed, looking ready to unsling his gun. Lewis
gestured for him to stand down.
"It's how you get ahead," Lewis explained. "Look, I'm sorry, but - "
"But what?" Asuka almost shouted. "You're always holding out, aren't
you?" she asked. "I'm sick of you not telling us anything! What is
the matter with you?"
"Calm down, Asuka," Misato said.
"Are you just going to kill us all?" Asuka asked, looking as though
she'd just uncovered a grand conspiracy. "Is that it? Use us until
we're too much trouble, then just _nuke_ us out of existence?"
"Asuka, I - "
All other conversation was cut off, as the sound of heavy footsteps
came from outside the tent. The tent flap moved, as someone tried to
come in.
The guard snapped. Already on edge from seeing Asuka this close to
Lewis, he moved before anyone could stop him. The gun came off his
shoulder, and was leveled at the door.
"No!" Lewis shouted, elbowing the man's gun right as he pulled the
trigger.
A loud thunderclap filled the tent, as a bullet went through the tent
flap. As soon as the noise had died, another sound became apparent:
"GoddamnmutherfuckershitbastardfuckOOOOOWWW!" Lewis was cursing,
holding his hand tightly. With his elbow jerk, he'd managed to gouge
his hand on the scalpel, and was now holding back a flow of blood,
trickling on the ground. However, Lewis' blood was not the only red
spot on the ground. Some red spatter could be seen on the tent flap,
as well.
Misato ran outside immediately. "Are you all ri..." she trailed off.
Asuka ran out after her. "What is it...oh my God..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Endnote: Sorry for the long delay with this chapter. I really wasn't
satisfied with how it turned out the first time, so I had to go back
and rewrite. On that point, thanks go to Heavyarms Kai for pushing me
into that rewrite. I think the result is much better.
Yes, it's another cliffhanger, after I made you wait all this time.
Aren't I bad? ^_^ Well, off to work on the next chapter. Stay tuned.
For the observant ones, yes, Kensuke's mutterings come from the opening
cinema of the Mechwarrior 2 computer game. If you were expecting
angsty dreams, go see another pilot. ^_^ All terms in the disclaimer
apply to that game, as well.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Started: December 1, 2003
Version 1 Ended: January 7, 2004
Version 2 Ended: February 28, 2004
Evangelion belong to GAINAX. They're not mine, and I make no claim to
them.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
" " = speech
^ ^ = thoughts
_ _ = italics
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Angels of Armageddon
Chapter 19: Choices, Consequences
Author: Ryan Xavier
"This is HQ to all available units..." a sleepy voice muttered, in the
darkness of the empty room. Kensuke, the boy it belonged to, rolled
over, still unconscious. "ETA 24 seconds..." Silence fell again in
the room.
"It's got a lock on me, it's..." he muttered. "Targeting...Warning,
ammunition levels critical. Weapon...depleted..."
His eyes cracked sleepily, and he groaned. It took him several seconds
to get any idea of where he was, and to remember what had happened
prior to ending up here.
"Huh?" was all he could muster. Just a moment ago, he'd been sitting
in an Eva cockpit, just like he'd always dreamed. He'd done...
something...and now he was here? In a dark, unfamiliar room, on a hard
cot, barely able to see anything. He wondered where his glasses were.
Even more unsettling than suddenly finding himself here was how quiet
it was. In the dark, the absence of sound was magnified tenfold, until
his own heartbeat was thunderous, as though trying to fill the void
with its regular thumps.
The silence finally broke, though, as he heard someone else moving
nearby.
"Hello?" he asked. Without his glasses, the already-dark room was
nothing but a black blur, making it utterly impossible to see anything
at all.
"Aida?" asked a sleepy voice. "Is that you?"
"Um...yes?"
"It's Maya Ibuki," the speaker identified herself. "I was keeping an
eye on the infirmary while we're down here..."
"Down where?"
"NERV. Come on, I can explain. Can you move?"
Kensuke responded by sitting up and swinging his legs off the cot. He
winced as his bare feet hit the cold tiles. "Why are we in NERV?" he
asked.
"...We had to," Maya answered after a pause that was too long. "It was
for our own safety. Here," she said curtly, handing him his glasses.
"There's some shoes by the door. You'll need them."
Dropping his glasses back onto his head, Kensuke could now see Maya's
silhouette in the darkness. "All right. Ibuki-san...who else is here?
Was anyone hurt?"
There was a long, tense silence before Maya finally replied.
"Akagi...Ritsuko was here for a little while for a head injury. Ni-san
was here earlier, too."
"Ariel?" Kensuke asked, finding the shoes by the door. "What
happened?"
"She got sick, after..." Maya trailed off. "Well, it doesn't matter, I
guess. She got better after a day or so."
"Oh, okay," Kensuke said, searching the wall for a light switch. "Not
many wounded, then? That's good."
Maya did not reply to that. Kensuke got the distinct impression that
he'd just said something that he shouldn't have.
Maya went to the door, opening it, allowing in the dim red illumination
of emergency lights. "You've been out a few days, Aida," she said,
quietly. "A lot has happened. We had to move everyone down here, to
be safe."
"From what? Did the Evas get over here? I thought we were going to
fight at a safe distance so - "
"Aida, just...stop talking for a minute. Come with me."
Kensuke followed her out of the room and down the hall. As soon as he
looked out, he could see that something was wrong. The hallway looked
like a disaster area. It was twisted along its length, as though a
giant had grabbed both ends and torqued it. The ceiling was partially
collapsed in several places, rubble littering the old tiles. Many
places were cast into darkness by broken lights. These places, he had
to follow Maya carefully, watching her footsteps to see where it was
safe to go.
The whole way, Kensuke stayed quiet. The halls were eerily empty,
something that he knew spoke volumes about what was going on. He was
getting unsettled; this was looking too much like that time when he and
the others had ventured down here, getting attacked by some insane
soldier along the way.
But what could have done this? An Eva? He doubted it, even though he
wasn't quite sure how much power they had. This wasn't the localized
chaos of a giant robot's attack, but was a more general destruction.
It almost looked like an earthquake had ripped through here.
Maya navigated them through the labrynth of corridors, made even more
difficult now by the recent destruction. Finally, though, they arrived
at an open area, where there were other people. Kensuke recognized
many of them: Ariel, Asuka, Misato, and Ritsuko, the last of which had
her head bandaged. He also noted Misato had some gauze on one of her
ears, giving her face a strangely lopsided look.
"He's awake," Maya announced, as she stumbled through the hallway and
into the room.
Ritsuko and Misato spared Kensuke a glance at this, giving him a nod
before looking away. Asuka made no move at all. The girl was leaning
against a wall, staring at a point on the floor with unfocused eyes,
arms hanging limp at her sides. Ariel stood near her, her eyes filled
with some emotion halfway between sadness and anger. Kensuke looked at
her, not understanding, and feeling his own spirits fall, seeing the
downcast look on her face.
"Good morning?" Kensuke tried, feeling the tension. There was no
response. "Um, Soryu, are you - "
Maya cut him off by clamping one hand on his shoulder. Looking up to
her, Kensuke saw Maya shaking her head, quietly telling him to leave
Asuka alone.
Kensuke went quiet, then. Now he knew something was wrong. Where was
everyone? Presumably, the Americans were down here too. These ruins
were officially American property, and all. He could only guess that
maybe these few people were waiting for something.
He started pacing, not knowing what else he could do. After a few
minutes of this, he became aware of some attention, annoyed glances at
him, quietly asking him to stop.
"Aida," a quiet voice said, finally.
Kensuke jumped a little, at the voice that had come from behind him.
Whirling, he saw Ariel's face, framed as always by her snow-white hair.
"Ni-san, uh, I - " he tried to say, hesitantly, but his voice failed
him.
"Your pacing is getting bothersome. Sit down," she said. "I'll try to
explain."
Kensuke obediently sat down against the wall. Ariel crouched down
opposite him. She glanced over her shoulder at Asuka, who it seemed
hadn't even noticed Ariel leaving her side.
"The short of it is, we won the battle," Ariel began, whispering.
Kensuke nodded, giving her a blank look. "Isn't that good?" he said.
"Only to the ignorant," she said, giving him an angry look that Kensuke
remembered getting from Asuka all too many times. It was amazing how
many mannerisms the two girls shared, he thought to himself.
"The enemy proved too resilient for our units," she explained. "We
simply couldn't stop it. In the end, the Americans had to launch a
powerful missile of mass destruction."
"A nuke?" Kensuke asked, breathlessly. He felt a chill go down his
spine, at the thought of it. It made sense; a nuclear weapon made
enough of a shockwave to make a localized earthquake. That would
explain why they were in NERV now, and why the halls were in such
chaos. Would they have to stay down here? Was all that awaited them
outside an irradiated wasteland?
"Not an atomic weapon," Ariel said, quenching his fears even as they
formed. "A more powerful version of the N2 mine. It was able to
destroy the enemy."
"We're sure?" Kensuke asked.
"I am," Ariel answered, cryptically. She said no more, and her
expression made it clear that no explanation would be offered.
"So..." Kensuke tried, finally. "Is everything OK topside? Was anyone
hurt?"
Ariel took a breath and let it out slowly. "We were able to safely
evacuate the camp down to here. Most people are deeper underground.
Some of the soldiers are trying to find a way out, right now. There
were two...three presumed casualties," Ariel said, holding up one hand
to silence him. "We have been unable to locate Rei Ayanami."
Kensuke went quiet, thinking about that. Rei dead? It was something
that shouldn't have affected him, he thought. She was such a quiet
girl...he hadn't really known her that well. But all the same, she'd
been part of his life, and to think that she was now gone...well, maybe
not, he thought, his mind looking for something to hold onto. They
just hadn't been able to find her. Maybe...
"Who else?" Kensuke asked. "You said three casualties."
Ariel's eyes looked down then, her face going sad enough that Kensuke
felt a part of him go out to her. He wanted to tell her it was all
right...but he didn't even know what 'it' was.
"The only ones we were unable to evacuate," Ariel finally answered.
"They were forced to take the full blast from the American missile."
She paused, watching as it sunk it. Kensuke had just figured it out
when Ariel confirmed his fears. "The Eva pilots."
Kensuke blinked, disbelieving. Now Kaoru was dead, too? But then
who'd been in Unit-04?
It clicked, then. The sadness pervading the room, the look on Asuka's
face, the notable absence of someone he should have known to look for
immediately...
"No," Kensuke said. "No, no it's just not possible..."
"Control yourself, Aida," Ariel said, giving him that angry look again.
Kensuke thought he could see the beginnings of some tears in her eyes.
"I have been through too much already to watch someone else break
down." Her voice quavered a little at first, until she got a hold of
herself.
Kensuke tried to say something, but his throat had closed up. He just
shook his head, his mind simply unable to accept what he'd heard.
"I am sorry," Ariel muttered, looking away from him. "It has been a
very difficult couple of days." She stood up, looking down at him,
now. "If you want to talk later..." she said, trailing off and
shrugging.
Kensuke might have replied somehow, but he never got the chance, as a
voice came from up another hallway.
"We're through!" it shouted, in English.
Slowly, the women began to move, first Ritsuko, then Maya and Misato,
then Ariel, who had to gently take Asuka by the hand, leading her up
the hallway. Kensuke followed at what he hoped was a safe distance.
The hallway they were in now had a definite upward angle to it, leading
towards what was hopefully the surface. It was completely dark, except
for the flickering beams of high-intensity flashlights further up the
corridor. They moved, not speaking, towards the lights. Finally, they
arrived at a thick metal door. Around it were several Americans,
technicians and soldiers, with the familiar form of Colonel Lewis
standing among them, muttering orders.
The soldiers at the door were talking. After a few moments, Lewis came
back to them. He still stood a good distance off, like a man before
wolves, giving himself time to get away if they attacked. Kensuke
looked at him, feeling not angry, but strangely betrayed. He somehow
knew it had been Lewis who'd ordered the launch. As the highest-
ranking officer, it only made sense. How could he have done that?
"False alarm," he said. "We got to turn back. This door's no good."
"Why?" Kensuke asked, immediately.
Lewis looked at him, and Kensuke was shocked to see a hint of sadness
in Lewis' eyes.
"Because it's welded shut, kid," he answered, quietly. "Melted down
from the outside."
There was a quiet sound from behind Kensuke, sounding something like a
sob. Lewis looked over Kensuke's shoulder, at the group of Japanese.
"Don't suppose you people got a back door to this place?" he asked.
The answer was just a tense, angry silence, as everyone avoided eye
contact, not out of fear, but hate.
The unsettling quiet was broken, suddenly, by a ground tremor, shaking
the floor and reverberating down the passage they'd come through,
before finally falling silent again.
"What was that?" Kensuke asked, his voice echoing in the new silence,
this one tense, and smelling of fear.
He got his answer quickly enough, as a horrible sound of shrieking
metal came from further up the hall, at the door. All eyes turned to
the door as the Americans jumped clear. The solid steel frame began to
quiver, then come loose. Daylight poured in through the rent in the
wall, as the door was forcibly worked loose. Apprehension turned to
horror as massive fingers appeared, clad in armor, slipping in to grasp
the ruined door from inside, and finally tear it free.
"Evac!" Lewis ordered. "Everyone back into the compound!" There was
no argument, as everyone - save one - began to run, away from the ruin
of the door, away from the monster waiting for them outside.
Only one person did not run. Her white hair blasted back by the wind
coming in from outside, Ariel's eyes narrowed, as the door vanished
entirely, tossed aside like the worthless scrap of metal it had become.
Outside, a gigantic foot could be seen, gleaming blue in the sun.
Not a trace of fear on her face, Ariel strode forward, exiting the
passage, stepping onto the soil outside, and looking up at the giant
that awaited her.
"Was that necessary, Tabris?" she shouted at it. Amid the din of
running and shouts for Ariel to come back, what she said was lost on
the others.
"My apologies," a thunderous voice came from outside. "But I could
tell you could not get the door open from your side." Hearing this,
people began to stop running, and a few began to go back. One by one,
they exited the passage, stepping onto the ruined world that lay
beyond.
Unit-00 stood outside. Many people just stared at the giant,
disbelieving. They'd seen it on the monitors. They'd seen it fight.
It had been gutted, crushed, and finally decapitated. But yet, here it
stood, miraculously healed, looking as though it had just been built,
and gazing down at them like a protective parent.
Having established that the Eva was on their side, many people began to
survey the territory around them. They went quiet, looking. They said
nothing; nothing needed to be said.
They had all seen destruction before. Be it from war, Eva combat, or
even Third Impact itself, they had all seen the world go mad, falling
into destruction and turmoil. But this was worse. This was not simply
destruction. This...was oblivion.
The ground had been blasted flat. The red, dusty soil they had grown
accustomed to was gone, stripped away forever. All that was left was
hard rock, still hot, burning their feet. Of the camp, nothing was left.
There were not even ruins, not even scraps of metal or rock or blood.
There was simply nothing, as far as the eye could see.
"Good to see you," Lewis shouted at the Eva. "What's your status?"
"I do not report to you, Colonel," Kaoru answered, the Eva looking down
at him accusingly. "But I believe you can see the status from where
you stand. Unit-00 is functional. But there is nothing else I can
see."
"What about Shinji?" a voice asked. Kensuke turned, looking back at
the voice. Asuka looked up at Unit-00's cyclopean visage, barely
restrained panic on her face.
There was a long pause. The silence said more than any words. Unit-00
shaking its head was merely punctuation to the message, confirmed by
Kaoru's next words.
"There is nothing," he said. "Nothing of the enemy, of Unit-04, of
Rei, of Shinji, of anything near ground zero." He paused, before
saying the words no one wanted to hear, terrible with their truth.
"They're gone."
* * *
"What did Ritsuko say, anyway?" Asuka was asking.
Shinji just shook his head, as he ducked into the tent he and Asuka
shared. He sat down hard and looked at her.
"She said she didn't know," he finally answered. "At least, I'm pretty
sure that's what she was saying."
"Those scientists," Asuka commented, sarcastically, as she sat down
next to Shinji. "Never want to just come out and say they don't know.
Would mean they aren't the smartest people anymore."
"I guess," Shinji replied humorlessly.
"So what's going to happen with Aida?"
Now Shinji put a small smile on his face. It was good to know that
Asuka had some capacity to care for 'the stooge'. "I'm not sure," he
answered. "He's still breathing, but I can't say much more."
"Oh," Asuka said, quietly. The look in her eyes asked the question she
hadn't put into words.
"There's no way he'll be able to pilot an Eva," Shinji said, so quietly
it was almost a whisper. "Even if he wakes up tomorrow...he won't be
able to complete his pilot training." He hung his head. "It was such
a stupid idea. I shouldn't have let him..."
Asuka gingerly touched Shinji's shoulder. "You couldn't have stopped
him," she said, quietly. "You know he's always wanted to be a pilot."
Shinji's only reply was to shake his head. Asuka said nothing, putting
her arm around him and just waiting for him to gather himself back
together. After a time, she heard him whispering something.
"...for Unit-04," she heard him say.
"What?"
Shinji looked up at her. "We need to find another pilot for Unit-04.
Kaoru-kun can't do it on his own," he added, seeing Asuka about to cut
in. "He needs backup. With Rei...in prison, he needs someone else to
help him. Alone, I don't know if he can..."
Asuka shook her head. "Hey, he's a good pilot. Almost as good as
me," she said. "Besides, he'll be better if he's actually _in_ the Eva
this time, right?"
Shinji shook his head. "I don't know. That's the thing. There's just
too many...damn unknowns..."
Asuka shrugged. "All right Shinji-chan, but where are you going to
find someone crazy enough to jump in that deathtrap and go charging
into battle? If it were my old Unit-02, I'd be first in line, but this
American piece of crap's been a disaster ever since we first saw it."
Another tiny smile on Shinji's lips. "Yeah." He let out a breath.
"But Ritsuko-san and me were talking about that, too. She...she didn't
say it straight out, but she suggested a backup pilot."
"Really?" Asuka asked, incredulous. "Don't tell me it's one of the
Americans, 'cause I'd rather fight an Eva with my bare hands than..."
She trailed off, as Shinji looked at her. His expression was what
caught her attention: quiet, impassive, but also resolute. Eyes that
looked for approval, but that looked ready to go on without it.
It took Asuka only a few seconds to realize just who it was Ritsuko had
suggested.
"No," she said, firmly. "No, I won't - "
"I have to," Shinji said, quietly.
"No!" Asuka shouted at him. "Right after seeing Aida get almost killed
just from sitting in it, you're going to be _stupid_ enough to jump
in?"
Shinji shook his head. "I have to take the chance," he said. "If I
don't, Kaoru will - "
"To hell with that weirdo!" Asuka shouted at him, standing up as best
she could in the low-ceilinged tent. "I can't just watch you go get
yourself killed!"
Shinji didn't move, just kept his eyes on her. "I'm sorry, Asuka."
Asuka shook her head violently. "No, no, NO! Don't apologize to me,
Ikari. That doesn't just make it better." She stared at him with eyes
like hot coals. Shinji looked away, but said nothing, and looked no
less determined.
Asuka sat back down, across the tent from him this time. "You can't,"
she said, more calmly this time. "You can't just throw it all away.
Two _years_, Shinji! If you die, it'll all be..."
"If I don't try, it'll all be moot anyway," he replied. He crawled
over to her. "Will you be there?" he asked, brushing some hair away
from her face.
Asuka continued to look angry at him, but after a moment she crushed
him into a tight hug. "Of course," she said, quietly. "Don't you
die."
"I'll do my best."
* * *
Asuka's eyes opened, as she took a sharp breath. Just for a minute,
he'd been there. She could only think that that had been her last real
conversation with Shinji. True, they'd spoken to each other between
then and the battle, but that had been the last time they'd really
_talked_.
"Are you awake?"
Asuka shifted in her seat, looking over to Ariel, sitting next to her.
The concerned look on the girl's face helped, if only a little.
They were seated on a plane again, headed back across the country to
the main camp they'd left behind what felt like years ago. The roar of
the engines was strangely lulling; Asuka had slept for the first time
in days here. But after seeing what - or who - awaited her in her
dreams, she didn't want to go back to sleep.
"I just don't believe it," Asuka mumbled. Ariel nodded, trying to look
encouraging. "I mean...I just think about it, and it feels like some
kind of dream. Like any minute I'm going to wake up and he's going to
be there again."
Ariel nodded again. "That's how it can be," she said. "I know."
"You've..." Asuka trailed off, unable to say any more. She swallowed.
"You've been in a situation like this?"
"I've lost friends before," Ariel said, looking away. "It hits you
right here," she said, putting one hand on her chest. "And the first
thing you think is that no, it can't be happening. Nothing so terrible
could happen to me." She looked at Asuka with a sad smile.
Asuka shook her head. "I just keep thinking about what I could have
done. I could have warned him it was coming. Maybe...I don't know,
maybe he could have gotten away in time. I know all that stuff about
'minimum safe distance,' and all, but this was Shinji!" she said,
sharply. "If anyone could've gotten to safety, it would have been
him."
Ariel put a hand on Asuka's arm, squeezing it briefly before letting
go. Asuka didn't seem to notice. She muttered something under her
breath: "I should have been the one in Unit-04."
"And then you'd have Shinji feeling how you do, now?" Ariel said,
immediately.
Asuka blinked in surprise, glancing sideways at Ariel. Finally, she
shook her head in defeat. "No," she said. "I wouldn't want that."
Ariel watched Asuka continue to mutter. It was painful, knowing
exactly how Asuka thought and not being able to act on it, at least not
directly. Asuka was looking for someone to blame, someone she could
get angry at. If she was angry, she wouldn't be sad anymore. There
were only so many people to target with her rage, though. It wasn't
like Zero was around anymore.
Zero. Ariel felt conflicting emotions on that subject, herself.
Through her own enhanced senses, as well as speaking to the people
who'd been in the command bunker, she'd found that Zero had been out
there, somehow. Involved in this combat which had resulted in the
launching of a missile so powerful that even Zeruel had not been able
to stand up to it. The mere existence of such a weapon was enough to
give Ariel chills. To see the Angel of Might fall to a mortal
weapon...
She shook her head, quietly. If that weapon could kill Zeruel, then
Zero would have been reduced to nothingness on the spot. In a
heartbeat, Ariel had been handed the very thing she'd been wishing for.
Zero, the one who'd damned her and her brethren to an eternity of
isolation, was finally gone. So then, why did she not feel happier?
Perhaps it was this human quality called empathy. It was difficult to
feel elated when everyone around her was in borderline despair. Was
she just mimicking the feelings of the people around her?
No, it was something else. Simply hearing about Zero's death through
secondhand accounts had just not been enough for her. Zero had
committed a horrible crime against her and the others. She'd locked
them away and forgotten them, throwing them down a slow descent into
madness. When they'd broken free, Zero had set about killing them,
obliterating their very souls. Ariel had wanted Zero dead, but she had
wanted to do it herself. To feel Zero's throat crushing under her
fingers, to see her take her last gasp...
To top it all off, Zero had died in such a way that she'd taken Shinji
with her. Ariel's feelings towards the boy were mixed. He'd been one
of the warriors who'd fought against her and her brethren, but she
hadn't harbored the same hatred for him as she had for Zero. She'd
wanted to learn more about him, find out just what it was that had
given a boy the strength to stand up to angels.
That, she thought, and Shinji had clearly meant very much to Asuka.
This close to the girl, Ariel could literally feel what was going on
inside Asuka's mind; she was trying not to break apart, and the
struggle was draining her, leaving her a weak, hollowed-out shell of
her former self. Ariel wondered if the girl would ever be the same.
^Damn you, Zero,^ she thought to herself. ^You can't even die right.^
Ariel could feel them making the final descent towards the air strip at
the camp. The flight was nearly over, now. Soon, they would come to
the hard part, of breaking the news to the people there. Ariel looked
over to Asuka, knowing that her friend was not in any condition for
that sort of thing, not yet.
"What bothers me," she began, quietly. Asuka looked to her, eyes
blank. "What bothers me is that you look like you're holding it in,"
Ariel explained. "You haven't found an outlet, yet."
Asuka's eyes narrowed. "I don't cry," she said. "Not anymore."
"That's one way," Ariel conceded. "And it's not a sign of weakness,
you know. Losing someone can be hard." She shrugged. "I remember
when I lost a friend, I threw up."
Asuka snorted, in what could have been a very small laugh. "Like you
did back in NERV," she said, quietly. "You were pretty sick, back
there."
"Yeah..." Ariel said, hesitantly. She clenched one hand on her knee,
nervously, knowing she'd probably said too much. "Well, I have a weak
stomach, sometimes."
"I think you actually threw up more than you ate," Asuka was saying.
"How'd you do that, anyway?"
Ariel held up one hand. "Stop trying to avoid the subject," she said.
"You need some way to let it out." She kept her hand up, gesturing for
Asuka not to speak for another moment. "You don't have to cry," she
said. "I know you didn't want to cry after your mother, that's fine.
But - "
"Wait a minute," Asuka said. She looked at Ariel curiously. "How'd
you know that?"
Ariel blinked. "Know what?" she asked innocently.
"My mother," she said. "I don't think I ever told you about that."
Ariel froze, feeling her heartbeat accelerate. Her mind searched in
vain for an excuse. She tried to console herself, telling herself that
there was no way Asuka could suspect the truth. She still had to say
something, though, or the girl's imagination would begin to work its
magic. But what to say?
Fate stepped in, giving her some temporary relief. With a strong
_thud_, the airplane touched down.
She and Asuka were jerked in their seats, making both of them jump a
little. "We're here," Ariel announced needlessly, acting as though
Asuka hadn't asked her anything.
Asuka just turned away. She wasn't in the mood for suspecting her
friend, not now anyway. She just looked out the window.
Outside, she could see buildings, recently erected, looking not unlike
the shelters the Americans had put up back at NERV. It looked like
they'd done a good job rebuilding after the incident with the berserk
Unit-00.
Along the airstrip, she could also see people, come to see them land.
A plane was still a rare thing these days, so much so that people would
drop what they were doing just to see it come down.
The plane landed safely, and taxied over to the side, ready for its
passengers to debark. However, before Asuka could get out of her seat,
she saw something outside that made her breath catch: Hikari, standing
there quietly, hands clasped in front of her. Asuka remembered how she
and Hikari had had a fight, though about what she could no longer
remember. She'd resolved not to look at Hikari as a friend any longer,
but seeing her out here, she knew that the other girl did not feel the
same. Hikari had come, to see her friend arrive home safely.
But that was not the worst. Next to Hikari stood Toji, his arm around
her waist, holding her close and shielding her against the winds as the
plane finally ground to a halt. Hikari was leaning on him, taking in
his warmth, his strength.
Asuka closed her eyes, unable to look any more. She tried to get up,
but her legs just wouldn't move. She felt something well up inside of
her, something she thought she'd cut away, something she'd seen as
useless and weak. But all the same, here it was.
A single tear appeared, trickling down her face before dropping off her
chin, sinking into the fabric of her pants as her fists clenched. She
prayed no one had seen that, but someone had: Ariel had put her arm
around Asuka, hugging her, trying to be supportive. Asuka covered her
face, feeling more tears coming.
* * *
Lewis was at the radio. He'd again removed the slip of paper from one
pocket, but not before sliding his sunglasses down over his eyes. His
eyes hidden behind opaque lenses, it was impossible to tell when he was
looking at them and when he was looking at the radio. In his free hand,
he held his gun, using it to hold off Asuka and Misato, standing just a
few meters away in the command bunker.
"I'm putting an end to this bullshit," he said, to no one in
particular. "You might believe in that kid, but I can't, not after
what I've seen that thing do."
"You can't," Asuka said, taking a step forwards. At a gesture from the
gun, however, she stepped back again. "You'll kill him. You'll kill
us _all_."
"If you've got a plan B, I'd love to hear it. But what I see is a monster
that wipes out everything, your robots and my jets alike." He stared at
them, the laser sight appearing as his finger squeezed the trigger halfway.
"Lucifer squadron's gone. Even your blue robot's just a pile of scrap, now.
You think I want to put my faith in one little kid driving a robot he doesn't
even know how to control?"
"Shinji can do it," Misato said, quietly.
Lewis stared at her, shaking his head after a moment. "I only wish I
could have faith like that," he said, quietly. "But that's just the
way the world is, now." He picked up the radio receiver. "God's left
us. All that's left is what we can do for ourselves."
Misato and Asuka could only watch, helpless. They outnumbered him, two to
one. A scant three meters separated them from him. If they both rushed him,
one of them could make it to him, stop him before he could give the order to
launch. But no one wanted to be first. No one wanted to be the one who got
shot.
"This is Colonel Lewis," he said into the radio. "Requesting launch of
single S2 missile." He paused. "I understand. But I only need one
launched. I don't see any reason to fire them all." Another pause.
"I will assume full responsibility. Prepare missile. Authorization
code is..." he looked at the paper and rattled off a long series of
numbers and letters.
Misato started forward. "No!" she shouted.
Lewis' response was immediate. The Desert Eagle pointed towards her,
laser sight appearing. His finger squeezed the trigger, and there was
a sudden thunderclap as the gun bucked in his hand.
* * *
"...ato? Misato! Are you listening?"
Misato came out of her daze. "Hm? Oh, yes," she said.
Ritsuko shook her head, continuing with her debriefing of the battle.
"So it seems the enemy Eva had focused its AT field into its arm
weapons," she explained. "The result, of course, was the nigh-
impenetrability noted on its body. The weak spot was the arms
themselves; their edges corresponded with the weakest spots on its AT
field, and hence were the logical place to attack."
"Right, right," Misato agreed, only half-listening. Absentmindedly,
she fingered her left ear, currently wrapped up in bandages. Lewis,
crazy bastard he was, had shot off her earlobe. It hadn't been a miss;
she'd seen the man shoot, and at that range even a child could have hit
somewhere lethal. This had been his version of a warning shot. It had
certainly done the job; she'd frozen where she stood, wondering where
she was hit, if she was going to die. The next moment, he'd launched
the missile.
She'd choked, in that last moment. She'd let a little nick stop her
from saving Shinji. Every time she thought about it, she was sure
there was something else she could have done. She could have kept
_moving_, tackled Lewis before he could give the command to fire. She
couldn't help thinking that it would have worked, even though she knew
in the back of her mind that he would have just fired again, and it
wouldn't have been another warning shot.
"...which led to the total dissolution of the target." Ritsuko was
still going, apparently not noticing that Misato was no longer paying
attention.
They currently sat in one of the buildings the Americans had put up in
their absence. This one was serving as a combination hospital and
science lab, a good place for Ritsuko to set up shop. This was the
first time Misato had set foot in the building; Ritsuko was intent on
debriefing her about the battle.
"Why are we bothering with this?" Misato asked, suddenly, cutting
Ritsuko off. "We both know what happened. We won, didn't we?" she
asked, bitterly.
Ritsuko paused, looking at her old friend, trying to figure out what to
say. "In a manner of speaking," she said. "But it's also best to
understand the mechanics of this, so we can avoid a repeat. You should
know that, Misato." She paused, letting that sink in. "Now, I don't
know if Unit-04 will be salvageable, but we will certainly try."
The direct blast of the S2 missile had disintegrated the MP Eva down to
its waist. The rest had crumbled into dust at some point later. Unit-
04, about half a kilometer from ground zero, had not done much better.
It had been shielded somewhat by the LCL lake, but not much. The LCL
had flash-boiled, evaporating in less than a second as the blast hit.
When they'd first seen it, Unit-04 had not been recognizeable as such.
It had just been a lump of melted slag, in a vaguely humanoid shape.
Kaoru said he could run Unit-00's S2 engine through it to spark
regeneration, but Misato didn't know how hopeful to get.
"Of Ikari and Ayanami, there was no sign," Ritsuko explained,
emotionlessly. "Though that in itself leads to several interesting
questions."
"You mean who died first?" Misato asked, angrily. "Or whether they
melted, or exploded?" She shook her head. "Maybe their blood boiled
first. It's all just science, isn't it?"
Ritsuko calmly folded her hands in her lap. "I understand you're
angry, Misato. But there's no sense in taking it out on me. If you do
not want to be here, you don't have to be."
"Sorry, Ritsu," Misato said, standing up. "It's just...too soon, I
think. Maybe later." She headed for the door.
"Misato," Ritsuko said firmly, as Misato put her hand on the knob.
Misato let out a small sigh, turning around to look. "What is it?" she
asked, tired.
Ritsuko was on her feet, now. "The questions I mentioned are relating
to an AT-field blip that appeared just after the moment of detonation.
We know that Rei was developing some further control over her field,
which is interesting."
"What are you saying?"
Ritsuko took a breath. "Maybe it's too soon to give up hope," she
said. "There's a faint possibility they could have survived."
Misato stared at Ritsuko, looking to see if she was serious. Seeing
the firm look in Ritsuko's eyes, Misato just shook her head. Turning
to face her, Misato took one step, closing the distance, drawing back
one arm.
A loud slap resounded off the walls of the room. Ritsuko's head jerked
to the side with the force of the impact, but her expression remained
impassive. Misato, her hand stinging, left, not saying a word.
It was good no one was outside when she left; Misato made it halfway
around the building before she had to stop, leaning against the wall,
covering her face as tears trickled around her fingers.
Damn her! Damn Ritsuko, trying to give her hope when there wasn't any.
Misato had been there; she'd seen the blast site. A perfect outline of
Rei and Shinji had been scorched into the ground itself; that was all
that was left of them. There wasn't even anything left to bury.
She stayed there a few minutes, trying to gather herself back up. She
needed to find something to occupy her mind, she knew. Once she'd
managed to regain her composure, she started walking, heading for the
small house that had been built for Asuka. Her mind had chanced upon
something, remembering that yesterday, Asuka had been talking about
going to see Colonel Lewis. Misato had been unable to come; she and
Ritsuko had been busy trying to set up the small science building she'd
just walked from. Maybe now she could see just how it had gone.
The house looked dark, even in the full noon sunlight. Misato knocked
gently, hearing no response. The doorknob turned in her hand, so she
let herself in.
"Hello?" she called out, her voice echoing off the empty walls. There
was only silence for her answer. Misato searched around; there were
only a few rooms here, the best the Americans had been able to build on
short notice. After a moment, she found Asuka, sitting in the largest
room, curled up against one wall.
"Hey," Misato said, worried. She knelt down next to Asuka. "Are you
all right?"
Asuka didn't respond. She just looked at Misato, her lips tight with
emotion. She was squeezing her legs up against her chest, her hands
shaking with the effort. Strangely, she wore a large pair of
sunglasses, even in the darkened room.
"Do you want to be alone?" Misato asked. Asuka nodded once.
Misato turned as though to leave, but just sat down against the
opposite wall instead. "Too bad," she said. "I feel like being alone,
too."
They sat there, in silence, for a long time. Misato waited patiently,
knowing that Asuka wanted to talk, even if she wasn't saying it. It
was just a matter of time, and she knew that Asuka would have to let it
out eventually.
Finally, Asuka muttered something. "It's his fault."
Misato finally looked up, waking from the half-daze she'd fallen into,
waiting. "What?"
"It's his fault," Asuka said, louder. "That bastard American. He
pushed the fucking button. He killed my Shinji."
Misato bit her lip. She'd have guessed this was how it would turn out.
"I know," she said, in quiet agreement.
"It's his fault," Asuka muttered again.
Misato got the strange feeling that whatever it was Asuka was saying,
it was all just a faint echo of some earlier outburst. Normally, she
was much louder when something was bothering her this much.
"Is something wrong, Asuka?" she tried.
"I'm fine," Asuka answered too quickly. "Just fucking fine."
After a few moments of silence, Misato tried a new tack. "So I hear
you went to talk to the Colonel, last night," she said, sounding like
she was just trying to make small talk.
Asuka didn't say anything, but Misato got the distinct impression the
girl had just rolled her eyes behind those sunglasses.
"Were you angry at him, then?" Misato asked.
Asuka gave her a dry look. "No, of course not," she said,
sarcastically. "I went to thank him for blowing up my boyfriend and
almost vaporizing all of _us_ with the fucking shockwave." Her voice
was frighteningly calm, the whole time. Misato tensed, sensing an
explosion. It came a heartbeat later.
"Of _course_ I was angry!" Asuka shouted, jumping to her feet. "I
wanted to kill him!"
"Is that what you tried?" Misato asked, keeping her own voice even.
Asuka snorted, turning her back to Misato. Behind her, Misato stood up
quietly, approaching Asuka slowly.
"Asuka, I need to know," she said. "Did you two fight?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Asuka bit out.
Misato let out a slow breath. "Asuka, when I was in college, there was
this girl I knew," she began, slowly. "She had a real jerk boyfriend,
violent and insecure. The thing is, you could always tell when they'd
had a fight, because the next day, well...she'd be wearing sunglasses."
Asuka turned around, facing her. She'd clenched her jaw, either out of
anger or to keep control over herself, to keep from looking weak.
Slowly, she reached up and slid her sunglasses off.
"Oh, Asuka..." Misato whispered.
* * *
The American side of the encampment was much less permanent than the
Japanese, which only made sense; the Americans were supposed to only be
a temporary presence, after all. As such, most of the men still lived
in tents. Misato's hands were clenched tight, as she approached
Lewis' tent. The guard at the entrance nodded at her and stepped
aside, letting her in without a word. Apparently, she was expected.
"Colonel!" she almost shouted as she entered. "Where are you?"
"And a good afternoon to you too, Katsuragi," came a slightly slurred
voice from the back. Half-obscured behind a pile of boxes and bedding,
Lewis sat in shadow, a bottle clearly visible in his hand.
Misato shook her head. "You're disgusting," she said, angrily. She
took a step towards him, noting quickly that his gun lay on a table,
unloaded and partially disassembled.
The response to this was a small burp. Then: "What the hell're you
talking about?" he asked. "Which part of that whole fiasco are _you_
going to pin on me, now?"
Misato swept her hand through the air, as though physically brushing
the matter aside. "That's not it, and you know it, Colonel," she said,
her voice shaking with anger. "Have you seen Asuka?"
"Quite recently," he answered innocently. "How is the little one?"
Misato stepped closer, standing in front of him now. "She's got a
bruise over half her face," she said, firmly. "Her left eye's swollen
shut, Colonel." Silence was the response. "She came here last night,
didn't she?" More silence. "How could you do that?"
"I don't know," Lewis answered. In the darkness, he reached up and
flicked on a light. "Why don't you tell me?" he asked, as his face was
illuminated.
Despite herself, Misato cringed. Lewis' face was covered in criss-
crossing scratch marks. A bandage was taped to one part of his jaw, a
red mark of seeping blood visible even through the layers of gauze.
Misato saw another bandage on his hand, as he took another drink from
his bottle.
She sat down in a nearby chair, looking at him. "What happened?" she
asked, more calmly this time.
"About what you'd guess," he answered, spreading his arms grandly.
"She came here and blamed me for everything. I tried talking to her,
but she just came at me. Like some kind of animal, that one. She had
all her shots?" he asked, shaking his bandaged hand sorely. He held up
that hand for her inspection. "She took a bite out of me," he said,
flatly. "When that happened, I snapped. I had to get her off of me,
so..." he trailed off, spreading his arms in the same gesture, then
putting his flask down. "Self-defense," he concluded.
Misato shook her head. "That's still no excuse - "
"Hey," Lewis interrupted her, stabbing a finger accusingly at her
chest. "She doesn't need you to come here to chew me out," he said.
"She's still a kid, but she's got to learn to handle things herself,
too. So if she's got anything to say, you get her up here. Tell her I
like my apologies short and to the point."
Misato didn't move, at first. Finally, she shook her head at him.
"She's been through a lot," she finally said. "You have to cut her
some slack."
"I will as soon as she cuts me some," he answered. "By the way, did
you come here to beat me up, too? From what I saw, damn near _all_ of
you people blame me."
"Well..." Misato said, looking away. "Look at the truth, Colonel. You
ordered the strike."
Lewis let out a slow sigh. He gestured to a folding chair across from
him. Once Misato had sat down, he ran one hand over his face, as
though physically wiping away the drunkenness. The odd part was, it
seemed to work; his eyes were much more focused once he opened them
again. Misato was impressed, despite herself.
"Don't think I don't regret it," he said. "In more ways than one.
They're saying I might get court-martialed."
Misato just stared at him. "Your job?" she asked, disbelieving.
"That's all that bothers you? That you might lose - "
"Because," Lewis said, cutting her off by holding up a hand. "Because
I didn't follow the plan. The brass back home told me if I was going
to launch a missile, I was going to have to launch them all." He met
her eyes, judging her reaction as that sunk in. "They wanted this
country torched right off the map."
Misato felt a chill run up her spine. "That's impossible...how could
they...how?"
Lewis just shrugged. "I dunno. I could've made a call and had
everyone airlifted clear in less than a day, then just rained down the
fire. Could've watched your country burn on a bigscreen with surround
sound in L.A."
Misato remained silent, unable to believe what she was hearing.
"But from what I've seen, you wouldn't have liked that part," he said.
"I mean, I don't know what you people see in this country, if that's
what you can call it. But I just thought, what if it was _my_ home
that was getting burned." He shrugged again. "So I did what I had to.
If the roles were switched, what would you have done, Katsuragi?"
Misato shook her head again. "I'd have trusted Shinji," she said. "He
can handle himself. I've seen him do it, even when all the odds are
against him. You put enough pressure on him, and he could do
anything."
"I didn't know the kid as well," he replied. "All I knew was if that
thing won, then there was no other way we were going to be able to stop
it. For what it's worth...I'm sorry."
Misato sighed quietly. She could tell this man wasn't used to saying
those words. "You know that's not enough." A sad smile started
creeping across her face. "Shinji knew that too, you know. It didn't
stop him from apologizing on every other breath, though. Kid just
didn't know when to stop..." she went quiet.
"That's how it can be," Lewis said, looking at her. "We don't get the
benefit of 'the best choice' anymore. All we get is the least of many
evils. It's how the world is, now."
Misato thought about what had happened back in the battle itself. "Is
that how it is?" she asked. "What you believe, I mean. You said God
had abandoned us, back then. Do you really think that?"
Lewis shrugged. "Every time I wonder if there's a God anymore, I just
think about the last time I had to make a decision like this one. That
removes all doubt. Just means we got to work harder, Katsuragi. And
sometimes there's going to be some sacrifices."
Misato said nothing to this. She simply got up and headed for the
exit.
"You want to take a shot at me?" Lewis said, standing up behind her.
He spread his arms. "Free hit, on the guy who pushed the button."
Misato shook her head at him. "It's done," she said. "Hitting you
won't bring Shinji or Rei back. You're the one who has to live with
it." She sniffed the booze-laden air. "I'd suggest a different way of
handling it, Colonel. If you've got to do God's work now, you should
probably be sober."
* * *
"Ouch! Dammit, do you even know what you're doing?"
Lewis cringed in pain as an American doctor examined his hand. A
perfect imprint of Asuka's teeth was stamped into his left hand, just
below the thumb.
"If you'd hold still, I could do my job," the doctor said, blandly.
"I've got to clean this again. It may be getting infected."
"The fraulein sends her regards," Lewis muttered.
They sat in the medical tent on the American side of the camp. As had
become the custom in the past few days, a guard was standing outside
the tent, keeping his eyes open for Japanese personnel who sought to
'have a word' with the man who'd dropped the bomb. Originally, Lewis
had been prepared to personally handle anyone who got violent. But
now, things were different. The M-16 rifle the guard carried made it
very clear what would happen to any who tried to repeat what Asuka had
done.
"Halt," the guard's voice could be heard from outside, as a set of
footsteps approached. "Identify yourself."
"Me," came an annoyed, but familiar voice. There was a pause.
"Soryu?" the voice said, angrily. "I need to talk to your boss."
"Asuka, calm down," came Misato's voice.
"The Colonel cannot accept visitors at the moment," the guard said,
politely. "If you could wait - "
"Let 'em in," Lewis called out. "Let's see what they got to say."
There was another pause, followed by the guard muttering a curt "you
may enter." Moments later, Asuka and Misato had ducked into the tent.
Behind them, the guard stepped in, standing by the tent flap, keeping
his eyes on the women.
"Good evening again, miss Soryu," Lewis said, not looking at her. His
eyes were again on his hand, as the doctor touched it with a scalpel.
He cringed again, as an infected area burst into a small dribble of
pus. He could almost feel Misato and Asuka cringe at this.
"Got something to say?" Lewis asked. "You wanna take another shot at
me, it's a good place for it. Already in the hospital, after all," he
said, accusingly, as he turned his gaze on her.
"Right," Asuka said, looking away. "Colonel, I..." she trailed off.
Lewis raised his eyebrows at her, waiting patiently. Finally, Asuka
took a breath. "I'msorryokay? I didn't mean to..." she stopped again.
"So nice to know you need the chaperone to get you to say that," Lewis
said, sarcastically. "But anyway, I'll live. I've had worse than a
little bite." He grunted as the doctor touched some alcohol to the
scalpel cut. "Can't say I've had more _painful_, though," he said,
giving the doctor a glare, which was ignored. "Wonder if I can get
another purple heart, for this one."
"I still haven't forgiven you," Asuka said, firmly enough to make Lewis
look at her. "What you did...it was horrible. You killed them."
"I know," he said, quietly. "Things I got to do in this job...it's not
pretty, miss Soryu." He nodded to himself. "I'd ask if I could make
it up to you, but I doubt that's possible."
"No, it's not." Asuka took a deep breath and let it out slowly,
clearly holding herself back, even now. Slowly, she turned to leave.
"Been talking to your doctor friend, by the way," Lewis said. Asuka
stopped, looking over her shoulder at him, so he continued. "Didn't
quite follow all that techno-crap she was saying, but it sounds like
she thinks we shouldn't give up yet." He heard a sigh from Misato, at
this. "Something wrong, Katsuragi?"
"You know it's a lie," Misato said, firmly. "Nothing can survive a
blast like that."
Lewis shrugged, a movement that jerked his hand, causing the doctor to
scratch him with the scalpel. Cursing, he looked back to them.
"Are you looking?" Asuka asked, quickly.
Misato looked at the girl. "Asuka, don't - "
"No, wait," Asuka cut her off. "Are you looking, Colonel? Sending out
your little helicopters?"
"Asuka - " Misato tried to say.
"Have you found anything?"
Lewis shook his head, holding up his free hand to get the girl to stop.
"We don't have nearly enough choppers to search this whole country.
Even if we did, we wouldn't know where to start. But we're giving it a
go, yes. 'Fraid you can't go for a ride though, Soryu. Solaris likes
to fly solo."
"Solaris?" Asuka asked.
"Eye in the sky," Lewis answered, casually. "Kind of like a satellite,
but not exactly. It's an automated, high-flying scout plane. Skims
right on the upper atmosphere, where it can get solar power and fly
pretty much as long as we need it to. Got enough cameras to fill a
movie studio." He made a smaller shrug this time, trying not to move
his hand. "Gives us a chance to look over this country, see what we
can see."
Asuka blinked, thinking that one over. "How long have you had this
thing?" she asked, stepping towards Lewis.
The guard, seeing Asuka's move, quietly moved around the tent, coming
to stand beside Lewis, his hand resting casually on his rifle, still
slung around his shoulder.
"About a month," Lewis said, glancing at the guard. "The tech guys
back in the states didn't find it too long ago, and it took them
forever just to find a way to launch it. Not like you can just blast
Solaris off a runway."
"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Asuka asked. "A satellite...that
could be a real help. It could show us if there's any other
settlements in Japan. We could even keep an eye on those other Evas
with it...why?" She took another step towards him.
"Calm down, girl. We've been trying to get the bugs out of it for
awhile now, and anyway..."
"You needed it to launch the S2," Misato said. Both Lewis and Asuka
looked to her. "You can't launch a missile like that without a
spotter," Misato continued, staring at Lewis. "So you needed something
to target for you. A satellite would be best, but if this 'Solaris' is
what you're saying it is, then it would be just as good."
Asuka looked back at Lewis, her face turning to a mask of anger.
"That's it?" she said. "You didn't tell us you had a satellite,
because you needed it to launch your missiles?"
"Out of my hands, girl," Lewis said. "I still take orders from the
States, and those were my orders."
"You just do whatever you're told?" Asuka asked, getting a tic under
her eye. The guard tensed, looking ready to unsling his gun. Lewis
gestured for him to stand down.
"It's how you get ahead," Lewis explained. "Look, I'm sorry, but - "
"But what?" Asuka almost shouted. "You're always holding out, aren't
you?" she asked. "I'm sick of you not telling us anything! What is
the matter with you?"
"Calm down, Asuka," Misato said.
"Are you just going to kill us all?" Asuka asked, looking as though
she'd just uncovered a grand conspiracy. "Is that it? Use us until
we're too much trouble, then just _nuke_ us out of existence?"
"Asuka, I - "
All other conversation was cut off, as the sound of heavy footsteps
came from outside the tent. The tent flap moved, as someone tried to
come in.
The guard snapped. Already on edge from seeing Asuka this close to
Lewis, he moved before anyone could stop him. The gun came off his
shoulder, and was leveled at the door.
"No!" Lewis shouted, elbowing the man's gun right as he pulled the
trigger.
A loud thunderclap filled the tent, as a bullet went through the tent
flap. As soon as the noise had died, another sound became apparent:
"GoddamnmutherfuckershitbastardfuckOOOOOWWW!" Lewis was cursing,
holding his hand tightly. With his elbow jerk, he'd managed to gouge
his hand on the scalpel, and was now holding back a flow of blood,
trickling on the ground. However, Lewis' blood was not the only red
spot on the ground. Some red spatter could be seen on the tent flap,
as well.
Misato ran outside immediately. "Are you all ri..." she trailed off.
Asuka ran out after her. "What is it...oh my God..."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Endnote: Sorry for the long delay with this chapter. I really wasn't
satisfied with how it turned out the first time, so I had to go back
and rewrite. On that point, thanks go to Heavyarms Kai for pushing me
into that rewrite. I think the result is much better.
Yes, it's another cliffhanger, after I made you wait all this time.
Aren't I bad? ^_^ Well, off to work on the next chapter. Stay tuned.
For the observant ones, yes, Kensuke's mutterings come from the opening
cinema of the Mechwarrior 2 computer game. If you were expecting
angsty dreams, go see another pilot. ^_^ All terms in the disclaimer
apply to that game, as well.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Started: December 1, 2003
Version 1 Ended: January 7, 2004
Version 2 Ended: February 28, 2004