The Bitter Truth
By TriGemini
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of its characters, Rumiko Takahashi does.
The bitter truth of this entire situation is that he doesn't see it.
If he sees, what's going on then he would understand what I'm going through every time he goes to her.
I wish he would understand and care.
However if he truly cared, if he wanted to care, he would've realized what was going on.
He would see that all Kikyou is…is an illusion.
She isn't real.
She's just a pile of ash and earth animated by bitterness, hatred, and evil.
However, he doesn't see it that way.
He's too blinded by his own guilt and conscious to notice that she isn't who he believes she is.
Even her own sister has tried to dissuade Inuyasha on numerous occasions but he's stubborn and won't listen at all.
To anyone, to anything all so everything that is said falls upon deaf ears.
In reality, I've only been fooling myself into believing that he could ever love me so.
He doesn't see that I'm suffering.
Dying each moment when he leaves me to run…to that clay pot.
To that soulless creature that has been wrongly resurrected.
When in doing so, she stole apart of my own soul.
She claims that it belongs to her.
However, she's wrong.
She's supposed to be dead.
It's my soul now.
I was born with it.
I didn't ask to be her reincarnation.
I didn't have say in it.
She thinks that I willing stole her life, her SOUL!
She tries often to take the rest from me more than just a part of my soul.
The others know, except for Inuyasha, he doesn't know.
Because in his eyes Kikyou can do no wrong, he would be willing to take her word against mine any day.
Nevertheless, in this entire nightmare doesn't he realize that I'm falling apart?
Doesn't he realize that I'm not whole?
Doesn't he know that if he doesn't put Kikyou to rest I will be complete?
He doesn't see my tears.
He doesn't heed my pleads.
He doesn't understand that I'm slowing dying bit by bit from all the pain that I have to bear.
He completely disregards the belief that the woman he loved died over fifty years ago and is truly long gone.
All that is left of her is her hatred, her spitefulness, her resentment, her contempt for him.
Supposedly, she died due to his betrayal.
That he hadn't suffered as much as she had.
She supposedly won't be able to rest in peace until he has avenged her death and has suffered as much as she has.
He hastily vowed to do whatever to please her.
He even promised to go to Hell with her, as soon as this quest is over.
I can't live with the better truth knowing he's chosen to be with her.
It can't be!
I've loved him since the first time I met him.
I've been by his side throughout everything and never once did he look at me the way he looked at that dead miko.
The irony of it all is that Kikyou and I we're practically the same person.
I'm her reincarnation.
I have her soul.
I have the same color of her.
Except for my eyes, which are the windows to my soul are nothing like hers.
Mine show warmth and hers show a certain coolness in their depths.
Nevertheless, that DAMN…Inuyasha couldn't tell us apart even if he was blind himself. Again, he's trying too hard and is blinded by his own remorse and by her manipulations to see clearly on his own.
He can't see the difference.
The bitter truth of it all is that he just doesn't see me at all.
I don't exist.
To him I'm just a shard detector.
Not a person, not a friend, nothing am I to him.
He doesn't hold me in any regard, to me he thinks otherwise.
The bitter truth is that I lost and she won.
It's so cold to think that he couldn't even spare the one moment of at least having the pleasure being his friend.
He never has a kind word for me; no, he saves those for Kikyou when they meet.
He's always comparing me to her and that just makes me realize that I'll always be the carbon copy, the replica, the mirror image, the duplicate, the reincarnation, and never meant to be considered the original.
That's how it's always been and that's how it will always be.
What do I do? What can I say?
I'm suffering, dying and going slowly insane.
All of this is the bitter truth.
I'll just swallow it as I do everything else.
Hide it and try my best from now on.
Even though, I'll never be happy with the bitter truth.
However, it is something I will have to live and deal with if I plan to continue being around.
A/N: So is this good to read. Please review and tell me.