Guess what? I've been inspired. ;) Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, you have really no idea how much they mean to me. :) I really don't think this chapter is that great, but it leads up to some stuff, so bear with me if you like this fic at all. (I really hope that's why you are reading it, lol) Please drop me a review if you like what you read. :)
Disclaimer: There comes a time when you just have to give it up. I don't own them, I never will, so I really wish I could stop writing these. But you know, rules are rules. :) I did write the poem though, so no taking! :)
Eyes of blue, hair of gold
A face that perfectly fits the mold.
Tortured soul, broken heart
One simply doesn't know where to start.
Strong edge, brave outer core,
but inside lies much more.
A life full of tears she wish would subside
For no one suspects that she's dying inside.
Reflection of love, reflection of hate. Reflection of anticipation, reflection of pure pain. Rachel's reflection couldn't be pinpointed as one picture, for it held many emotions.
A reflection of oneself is always difficult to assign one emotion to. The happiest looking person alive could be miserable inside, or vice versa.
Fortunately, for Rachel, her mood wasn't always given away by her expression. At the moment, as she gazed with distaste upon her reflection, Rachel's face showed no telltale signs of her anxiety.
Today was the day. A day of possible heartbreak, a day of sure pain. In one hour, the arrival would take place.
Rachel laughed in spite of herself. 'The Arrival' sounded like some sort of cheap horror flick. She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. Emily's coming could be referred to as 'The Arrival'. That woman was worse than the devil himself. For all Rachel knew, she was him, rising from Hell's ashes, just watching and waiting for the chance. The chance to ruin her life.
The mirror gleamed brightly as the sun from the window shined in on it, leaving the presence of glorious drifting morning light to play upon the sink's pure white marble stone.
Looking at her reflection, Rachel knew one thing. Today was a day in which anything could happen. Expect the unexpected, and be prepared to deal. After a full night of rest, Rachel felt as if she could take anything that was thrown her way. This was quite the opposite of what she had been feeling for the past few weeks.
No matter what happened today, Rachel was going to make sure she looked good. If Emily was wearing a skirt, she would wear an evening gown. If Emily got highlights, Rachel would dye her hair. She'd only met Emily a few times, but hated her with all of her broken heart.
Rachel would not look like a fool in front of the man she loved. She was determined to look strong on her own, even if no one knew what was really going on inside her head.
The sun cast its rays upon her golden hair, leaving her with the air of luminescence. Her blue eyes sparkled. Only she knew that the mirror was wrong.
She mindlessly picked up the comb and ran it through her hair. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest one of all?" She pretended to act surprised. "Emily, or Rachel? Who will Prince Charming pick?" Rachel found herself laughing at the fact that she had referred to Ross as 'Prince Charming'. "I'll bet no one's ever called him that before."
Her face fell as she realized that Emily probably had. Assuming that since Emily was from Britain she could call Ross 'prince', Rachel set the brush down. "Looks like the kingdom has been taken over by the evil queen..."
Before exiting the bathroom she and Monica shared, Rachel caught one last glimpse of her reflection. It looked as normal and carefree as ever. Thank God mirrors lied.
~*~*~*~*~
As they were preparing to leave for the airport, Rachel wondered why. Why Ross wouldn't leave her thoughts. Why Emily had to suggest this trip. Why her life was unfolding in the pattern it was. But most of all, why couldn't she let him go?
Suddenly, she heard voices singing across the hall.
"Every night in my dreams...I see you...I feel you..."
Rachel rolled her eyes, unaware at the moment of the significance those words had to her own life, and was glad for the interruption.
Chandler burst into the apartment singing, newly released 'Titanic' video in hand. Joey followed him, visibly upset at the comical stab Chandler was taking at the movie that had touched him so deeply. A laughing Phoebe trailed behind.
"This is how I know you GO on..." Chandler finished.
Fastening her earrings on, Monica came into the living room shaking her head at Chandler. "Geez, you even stress your words while you sing!"
"What?"
Monica imitated him. "...GO on..."
Phoebe smiled, "She's right."
Shaking off her dress, Rachel got up from the couch. Everyone's eyes nearly bugged out of their heads when they saw her attire.
Skimpily clad in a slinky black dress and high black stilettos, Rachel proved that she could stop traffic on her worst days. She was, however, confused by their reactions. "What, you guys?" She spun around. "Is there something on my dress?"
Joey was the first to speak up. "Uh, Rach? Why are you so dressed up? We're only going to the airport."
Immediately realizing what Rachel was trying to pull, Monica took the initiative. "Okay, you guys. Chandler, set the movie down, and you, Pheebs, and Joey head down to get a cab. We'll follow. Ross's plane lands in an hour, so let's hurry."
They agreeably nodded, and Chandler tossed 'Titanic' down without much care.
Joey shrieked, "Dude, be careful with that!"
Sarcastically rolling his eyes, Chandler retorted, "I know, I know...Those two only had each other!"
"You don't have to make fun of it."
"Fine. C'mon, Pheebs." Phoebe gave Monica a questioning look, but Monica fell silent.
As the three headed down the hall, Monica and Rachel could hear Chandler's singing until the poorly sung melody had met its end.
Her blue eyes like fiery ice cubes, Monica glared at Rachel. "WHAT are you thinking!?"
Rachel was taken aback. Never before had she seen Monica so furious over something so trivial. "What?"
Monica paced back and forth. "You're turning into a child, Rachel! You pout, drink, sleep, never help out, and don't stop until you get your own way!"
Unable to deny any accusations but one, Rachel stammered, "Children...children don't drink."
"Bad ones do."
"Are you saying I'm a disobedient little girl?" Rachel laughed.
Monica slammed down her purse on the table. "You sure have been acting like one. Why do you always have to get your own way? Can't you sometimes just accept what life gives you? I know how your breakup tore you apart, but still! It's been two years!"
Rachel felt tears spring to her eyes and pool over against her black eyeliner. The soft blue of her eyes nearly met the harsh black surrounding them like a bruise waiting to heal. Or, waiting to form.
"I have accepted it, Mon. I've accepted more than you or anyone else can imagine. You have no idea how hard this is for me. I'm giving up a lot for them, Mon, and I go try to look nice-"
"Nice? Are you kidding me? You look like you should be standing out on the street waiting to get picked up. You can't try and seduce Ross!"
"What makes you think I'm trying to seduce him?"
"Oh, please. I know how you work. I'm just saying it's awfully selfish of you to try and pull something like this."
"WHAT AM I TRYING TO PULL!?"
Monica was silent. Dead silent. Rachel bit her lip as she felt bad for yelling, but couldn't understand why Monica was so upset.
Sure, Rachel knew she hadn't exactly been the best friend lately, but Monica was acting like a madwoman. Rachel gulped, trying to calm herself down. "Mon, I want you to put something into perspective. Who was the greatest love of your life?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Monica shut her eyes. Deep in her heart, the answer lay, but Monica was still shocked that she had gotten so upset. Lately, everything had gotten on her nerves. And Rachel was just in her path when all Hell broke loose.
"Well, the one I've seen you most upset over is Richard, so I'll use him. Pretend that after you left Richard, he comes back to visit. Tagging along is his new wife, Emi--er, Emma."
Monica's eyes fluttered open in shock. "Richard remarried?"
"No, but suppose he did. And then both of them come to live with you for, like, five months. All your friends are excited about this. Except you, because you know how much it's going to hurt. So you try and dress up, make yourself look like you still have the will to live...Even if you don't."
Monica got up and hugged Rachel. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I know I'll never totally understand, but that helped. I didn't mean to go off on you like that. I guess I'm just frustrated that you're not happy that Ross is coming. You know, the protective sibling mode."
"I'm sorry for yelling, too. I should have helped you more."
Monica looked at the clock on the wall, just as Phoebe came running in, breathless. "What are you guys doing? We've been waiting for, like, ten minutes down there!"
Monica grabbed her purse as Rachel tried to mentally and physically straighten herself out.
"C'mon, Rach!" cried Phoebe.
Monica followed in tow, but turned once more to Rachel. "Just try and act like you're happy, okay, sweetie?"
Shaking her head, Rachel muttered, "I will. I'll be happy and peppy and no one will know how bad I'm hurting. No one even cares."
~*~*~*~*~
"I do!" Ross practically shouted.
Emily jolted awake in her plane seat. "What?"
Eyes fluttering open, Ross looked surprised. "Huh?"
With an endearing look crossing her face, Emily stroked Ross's arm. "Aw, were you talking in your sleep?" She was met with a sleepy nod. "Was it about our wedding?"
He cleared his throat and lied. "Uh, sure."
She smiled. "Okay, well I'm going to the restroom at the back of the plane. I'll be back in a bit."
Ross gazed out the window as the tall skyscrapers of New York came into his sight. The Statue of Liberty seemed to wave to him, "Welcome home."
After living in London for over four months, he was more than ready to see his friends and family. And Rachel.
He squinted out the window, almost expecting to see her standing there upon the statue. His heart thumped and it seemed to say Rachel. Heck, everything said Rachel to him. But Ross wasn't going to let that get to him. Emily was his wife and he was finally where he wanted to be in life. He would treat Rachel like only a friend, no matter how badly his heart wanted, and needed, more.
When he gazed upon the stars at night, the twinkling lights from the Heavens above spelled out her name. Passing down the street, he would glimpse a flash of gold, a dash of blue. And he would think it was her. Even as he made love to Emily, images of Rachel would dart across his mind like speeding arrows, their destination being his heart.
The arrows stood in the center, and Ross knew that they would never be removed. He would just have to live with a gaping hole in his heart, and a missing part of his soul. For her loved Emily. He loved her like any husband loves his other half. But the only thing that didn't add up, was that Ross had the distinct feeling that Emily wasn't his other half.
She didn't complete the puzzle, and didn't mend his heart. He had known she was wrong at the start. Other lovers came and went, Rachel was the only one that was Heaven-sent. But Ross didn't want to suffer another divorce, and besides, he loved Emily enough. For now, he would have to accept the fact that some puzzles never get completed. They are just left out in the rain to weather and rot until they meet their demise.
A little girl of about six with blond hair and blue eyes came up and sat in Emily's seat. She gave Ross a toothy grin, revealing several missing ones, as Ross smiled down at her.
"Well, hi there."
"Hi," she responded shyly.
Ross looked across the aisle where her mother was sitting. After seeing she was okay with this, he talked to the adorable girl.
"So, what's your name?" he asked.
"Rachel."
It was just his luck that a little girl with the same name as the only woman he truly loved and deeply betrayed would come show up in his wife's seat.
Still, he couldn't just ignore her. "So, Rachel, is this your first time flying?"
Swinging her feet back and forth, she grinned. "Yup."
"Are you going on vacation to New York? There's lots of fun stuff to do."
"Nope. My mommy and daddy are getting a d'vorce, so me and mommy gots to move here."
Ross blushed, as did the girl's mother. "I'm sorry." He needed an escape from the conversation, fast.
"Can I sit here?"
Ross was confused. "Huh?"
Rachel pointed at the seat she was sitting in. "My mommy is too a-quiet over there. I think she's a-sad."
Ross smiled sympathetically at the girl's mother and also at how Rachel put an "a" at the beginning of her words. "Well, this is my wife's seat."
"But she's gone now."
"I'm pretty sure she'll be coming back."
"My mommy taught me how to a-share. She should a-share her seat."
Ross was amused. "I'm sure she would. She's a very nice lady."
"Do you love her?"
"Of course."
Her eyes opened wide. "Well, how do you know that?"
Ross pondered her question for a moment. "I don't know. I just do."
"My mommy doesn't love my daddy any more."
Ross smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, sweetie. But, when you live in New York, there's a fun zoo, and-"
"How do you know that you and your wife won't be gettin' a d'vorce?"
Being that Ross was very inexperienced at talking about serious matters with young children, he was at a loss for words. "Uh, well, I love her very much."
"My mommy and daddy a-used to love each others, but Daddy said there was a-someone else. He said sometimes you can be married but not in love."
Just then Emily got back and Rachel's mother butt in. "Okay, Rachie, come back here. The nice man's wife is back."
Before leaving, Rachel opened her eyes wide, very seriously. "Just a-remember. It could happen to you." She flashed Emily an innocent grin and skipped across the aisle.
As she eased herself into her seat, Emily asked, "What was that all about?"
Ross shrugged as the 'fasten seatbelt' sign flashed on. "I have no idea."
~*~*~*~*
Rachel looked out the large window in the airport as Ross's plane landed. She was at a loss for feelings, a loss for words. Never before in her life had she been this uncomfortable and this nervous.
She had anticipated this moment for the longest time. Of course, in her head, the reunion had taken place under much different circumstances. 'Ones that will never happen,' she dismally thought.
Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler all stood at the edge of the gate, waiting for their dear friend to arrive. Rachel stood behind them, feeling like the outsider who didn't belong.
Rachel felt her heart thump harder as passengers began to come into their view. In the distance, she could see a head that she would recognize anywhere.
With a little too much hair gel and a little too short of a time it spent with a comb, Ross's head turned into, well, Ross.
Rachel gasped. He had hardly changed at all. He still smiled the same, walked with the same cute lack of confidence. Only this time, he was followed by Emily.
'His wife, his best friend, the light of his life,' were Rachel's sarcastic thoughts.
As if in slow motion, Ross and Emily greeted all the others. The world spun before Rachel, as if she wasn't a part of it. 'I may as well not be.'
All of the sudden, Ross turned towards Rachel. She took a deep breath as her blue eyes met his brown ones. Rachel knew she didn't look like anything was wrong with her, she was always careful to hide her outer appearance.
Shyly, he stepped towards her. "Hey, Rach," he nearly whispered.
Her heart melted at the sound of his voice. "Hey, you."
He pulled her into a hug, and for one moment, and one moment only, the puzzle was complete. Rachel felt herself smile. For that blissful second, her life was perfect.
"Rachel?" Emily smiled at her as she left the arms of her soul mate. "Hello!"
Rachel was surprised as Emily pulled her into a hug. "Hi, Emily. How was the flight?"
Emily stepped back. "Oh, it was perfectly lovely. How are you?"
Rachel thought. 'Well, hmmm, I think I'm in love with your husband, it's pretty fair to say I'm on my way to becoming an alcoholic, oh, and I hate you.'
"I'm fine."
"Great! Monica says that she's having a party in honor of our arrival! Oh, and also Ross and I brought along our wedding videotape, especially for you and Phoebe because you didn't go. This way you'll feel like you were there!" Emily's cheerfulness went on its way to visit Joey as Rachel mentally cleaned herself of the conversation she had just had.
'Great. A party AND their wedding video. What could make my night better?'
As they headed down to baggage terminal, Monica passed by Rachel with an approving look. "You're doing great, Rach!"
Ross brushed by her side as Monica left, sparking little waves of electricity between them. He looked at her concernedly. "Rach, are you okay?"
She was surprised someone finally noticed the pain she was in. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He looked doubtful as he walked ahead, knowing how he felt. "Okay."
The whole crowd of seven happy people walked forward to claim what was theirs and discard what wasn't. One among the seven wasn't happy at all in marriage, but pretended for his sake that he was. And another, his missing piece, was breaking apart.
No one could tell by her outer appearance. To Monica, it was inevitable that Rachel would recover. Rachel knew better.
For every second she spent in misery, every day in pain, her heart broke and soul froze over. Soon, the pain would become unbearable. For now, she was dying a slow and painful death. Inside her heart.
Okay, so I don't like this chapter as much, but oh well. It just seemed kind of, I don't know, not as good to me. Let me know what you thought, ok? ;) Oh, and please tell me if the fight between Monica and Rachel seemed realistic. Tension between them is going to be building, I think. This is the last time I'll update before spring break, but I know I'll write. Cruise ships inspire me, lol. But, you know, you guys can do that too. So, all you gotta do is click the button that says review! Thanks and I hope this chapter wasn't too incredibly, well, I don't know. But not as good...:( Lol, ok I'm rambling, so please review. :)
Mel
Disclaimer: There comes a time when you just have to give it up. I don't own them, I never will, so I really wish I could stop writing these. But you know, rules are rules. :) I did write the poem though, so no taking! :)
Eyes of blue, hair of gold
A face that perfectly fits the mold.
Tortured soul, broken heart
One simply doesn't know where to start.
Strong edge, brave outer core,
but inside lies much more.
A life full of tears she wish would subside
For no one suspects that she's dying inside.
Reflection of love, reflection of hate. Reflection of anticipation, reflection of pure pain. Rachel's reflection couldn't be pinpointed as one picture, for it held many emotions.
A reflection of oneself is always difficult to assign one emotion to. The happiest looking person alive could be miserable inside, or vice versa.
Fortunately, for Rachel, her mood wasn't always given away by her expression. At the moment, as she gazed with distaste upon her reflection, Rachel's face showed no telltale signs of her anxiety.
Today was the day. A day of possible heartbreak, a day of sure pain. In one hour, the arrival would take place.
Rachel laughed in spite of herself. 'The Arrival' sounded like some sort of cheap horror flick. She raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow. Emily's coming could be referred to as 'The Arrival'. That woman was worse than the devil himself. For all Rachel knew, she was him, rising from Hell's ashes, just watching and waiting for the chance. The chance to ruin her life.
The mirror gleamed brightly as the sun from the window shined in on it, leaving the presence of glorious drifting morning light to play upon the sink's pure white marble stone.
Looking at her reflection, Rachel knew one thing. Today was a day in which anything could happen. Expect the unexpected, and be prepared to deal. After a full night of rest, Rachel felt as if she could take anything that was thrown her way. This was quite the opposite of what she had been feeling for the past few weeks.
No matter what happened today, Rachel was going to make sure she looked good. If Emily was wearing a skirt, she would wear an evening gown. If Emily got highlights, Rachel would dye her hair. She'd only met Emily a few times, but hated her with all of her broken heart.
Rachel would not look like a fool in front of the man she loved. She was determined to look strong on her own, even if no one knew what was really going on inside her head.
The sun cast its rays upon her golden hair, leaving her with the air of luminescence. Her blue eyes sparkled. Only she knew that the mirror was wrong.
She mindlessly picked up the comb and ran it through her hair. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest one of all?" She pretended to act surprised. "Emily, or Rachel? Who will Prince Charming pick?" Rachel found herself laughing at the fact that she had referred to Ross as 'Prince Charming'. "I'll bet no one's ever called him that before."
Her face fell as she realized that Emily probably had. Assuming that since Emily was from Britain she could call Ross 'prince', Rachel set the brush down. "Looks like the kingdom has been taken over by the evil queen..."
Before exiting the bathroom she and Monica shared, Rachel caught one last glimpse of her reflection. It looked as normal and carefree as ever. Thank God mirrors lied.
~*~*~*~*~
As they were preparing to leave for the airport, Rachel wondered why. Why Ross wouldn't leave her thoughts. Why Emily had to suggest this trip. Why her life was unfolding in the pattern it was. But most of all, why couldn't she let him go?
Suddenly, she heard voices singing across the hall.
"Every night in my dreams...I see you...I feel you..."
Rachel rolled her eyes, unaware at the moment of the significance those words had to her own life, and was glad for the interruption.
Chandler burst into the apartment singing, newly released 'Titanic' video in hand. Joey followed him, visibly upset at the comical stab Chandler was taking at the movie that had touched him so deeply. A laughing Phoebe trailed behind.
"This is how I know you GO on..." Chandler finished.
Fastening her earrings on, Monica came into the living room shaking her head at Chandler. "Geez, you even stress your words while you sing!"
"What?"
Monica imitated him. "...GO on..."
Phoebe smiled, "She's right."
Shaking off her dress, Rachel got up from the couch. Everyone's eyes nearly bugged out of their heads when they saw her attire.
Skimpily clad in a slinky black dress and high black stilettos, Rachel proved that she could stop traffic on her worst days. She was, however, confused by their reactions. "What, you guys?" She spun around. "Is there something on my dress?"
Joey was the first to speak up. "Uh, Rach? Why are you so dressed up? We're only going to the airport."
Immediately realizing what Rachel was trying to pull, Monica took the initiative. "Okay, you guys. Chandler, set the movie down, and you, Pheebs, and Joey head down to get a cab. We'll follow. Ross's plane lands in an hour, so let's hurry."
They agreeably nodded, and Chandler tossed 'Titanic' down without much care.
Joey shrieked, "Dude, be careful with that!"
Sarcastically rolling his eyes, Chandler retorted, "I know, I know...Those two only had each other!"
"You don't have to make fun of it."
"Fine. C'mon, Pheebs." Phoebe gave Monica a questioning look, but Monica fell silent.
As the three headed down the hall, Monica and Rachel could hear Chandler's singing until the poorly sung melody had met its end.
Her blue eyes like fiery ice cubes, Monica glared at Rachel. "WHAT are you thinking!?"
Rachel was taken aback. Never before had she seen Monica so furious over something so trivial. "What?"
Monica paced back and forth. "You're turning into a child, Rachel! You pout, drink, sleep, never help out, and don't stop until you get your own way!"
Unable to deny any accusations but one, Rachel stammered, "Children...children don't drink."
"Bad ones do."
"Are you saying I'm a disobedient little girl?" Rachel laughed.
Monica slammed down her purse on the table. "You sure have been acting like one. Why do you always have to get your own way? Can't you sometimes just accept what life gives you? I know how your breakup tore you apart, but still! It's been two years!"
Rachel felt tears spring to her eyes and pool over against her black eyeliner. The soft blue of her eyes nearly met the harsh black surrounding them like a bruise waiting to heal. Or, waiting to form.
"I have accepted it, Mon. I've accepted more than you or anyone else can imagine. You have no idea how hard this is for me. I'm giving up a lot for them, Mon, and I go try to look nice-"
"Nice? Are you kidding me? You look like you should be standing out on the street waiting to get picked up. You can't try and seduce Ross!"
"What makes you think I'm trying to seduce him?"
"Oh, please. I know how you work. I'm just saying it's awfully selfish of you to try and pull something like this."
"WHAT AM I TRYING TO PULL!?"
Monica was silent. Dead silent. Rachel bit her lip as she felt bad for yelling, but couldn't understand why Monica was so upset.
Sure, Rachel knew she hadn't exactly been the best friend lately, but Monica was acting like a madwoman. Rachel gulped, trying to calm herself down. "Mon, I want you to put something into perspective. Who was the greatest love of your life?"
Shrugging her shoulders, Monica shut her eyes. Deep in her heart, the answer lay, but Monica was still shocked that she had gotten so upset. Lately, everything had gotten on her nerves. And Rachel was just in her path when all Hell broke loose.
"Well, the one I've seen you most upset over is Richard, so I'll use him. Pretend that after you left Richard, he comes back to visit. Tagging along is his new wife, Emi--er, Emma."
Monica's eyes fluttered open in shock. "Richard remarried?"
"No, but suppose he did. And then both of them come to live with you for, like, five months. All your friends are excited about this. Except you, because you know how much it's going to hurt. So you try and dress up, make yourself look like you still have the will to live...Even if you don't."
Monica got up and hugged Rachel. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I know I'll never totally understand, but that helped. I didn't mean to go off on you like that. I guess I'm just frustrated that you're not happy that Ross is coming. You know, the protective sibling mode."
"I'm sorry for yelling, too. I should have helped you more."
Monica looked at the clock on the wall, just as Phoebe came running in, breathless. "What are you guys doing? We've been waiting for, like, ten minutes down there!"
Monica grabbed her purse as Rachel tried to mentally and physically straighten herself out.
"C'mon, Rach!" cried Phoebe.
Monica followed in tow, but turned once more to Rachel. "Just try and act like you're happy, okay, sweetie?"
Shaking her head, Rachel muttered, "I will. I'll be happy and peppy and no one will know how bad I'm hurting. No one even cares."
~*~*~*~*~
"I do!" Ross practically shouted.
Emily jolted awake in her plane seat. "What?"
Eyes fluttering open, Ross looked surprised. "Huh?"
With an endearing look crossing her face, Emily stroked Ross's arm. "Aw, were you talking in your sleep?" She was met with a sleepy nod. "Was it about our wedding?"
He cleared his throat and lied. "Uh, sure."
She smiled. "Okay, well I'm going to the restroom at the back of the plane. I'll be back in a bit."
Ross gazed out the window as the tall skyscrapers of New York came into his sight. The Statue of Liberty seemed to wave to him, "Welcome home."
After living in London for over four months, he was more than ready to see his friends and family. And Rachel.
He squinted out the window, almost expecting to see her standing there upon the statue. His heart thumped and it seemed to say Rachel. Heck, everything said Rachel to him. But Ross wasn't going to let that get to him. Emily was his wife and he was finally where he wanted to be in life. He would treat Rachel like only a friend, no matter how badly his heart wanted, and needed, more.
When he gazed upon the stars at night, the twinkling lights from the Heavens above spelled out her name. Passing down the street, he would glimpse a flash of gold, a dash of blue. And he would think it was her. Even as he made love to Emily, images of Rachel would dart across his mind like speeding arrows, their destination being his heart.
The arrows stood in the center, and Ross knew that they would never be removed. He would just have to live with a gaping hole in his heart, and a missing part of his soul. For her loved Emily. He loved her like any husband loves his other half. But the only thing that didn't add up, was that Ross had the distinct feeling that Emily wasn't his other half.
She didn't complete the puzzle, and didn't mend his heart. He had known she was wrong at the start. Other lovers came and went, Rachel was the only one that was Heaven-sent. But Ross didn't want to suffer another divorce, and besides, he loved Emily enough. For now, he would have to accept the fact that some puzzles never get completed. They are just left out in the rain to weather and rot until they meet their demise.
A little girl of about six with blond hair and blue eyes came up and sat in Emily's seat. She gave Ross a toothy grin, revealing several missing ones, as Ross smiled down at her.
"Well, hi there."
"Hi," she responded shyly.
Ross looked across the aisle where her mother was sitting. After seeing she was okay with this, he talked to the adorable girl.
"So, what's your name?" he asked.
"Rachel."
It was just his luck that a little girl with the same name as the only woman he truly loved and deeply betrayed would come show up in his wife's seat.
Still, he couldn't just ignore her. "So, Rachel, is this your first time flying?"
Swinging her feet back and forth, she grinned. "Yup."
"Are you going on vacation to New York? There's lots of fun stuff to do."
"Nope. My mommy and daddy are getting a d'vorce, so me and mommy gots to move here."
Ross blushed, as did the girl's mother. "I'm sorry." He needed an escape from the conversation, fast.
"Can I sit here?"
Ross was confused. "Huh?"
Rachel pointed at the seat she was sitting in. "My mommy is too a-quiet over there. I think she's a-sad."
Ross smiled sympathetically at the girl's mother and also at how Rachel put an "a" at the beginning of her words. "Well, this is my wife's seat."
"But she's gone now."
"I'm pretty sure she'll be coming back."
"My mommy taught me how to a-share. She should a-share her seat."
Ross was amused. "I'm sure she would. She's a very nice lady."
"Do you love her?"
"Of course."
Her eyes opened wide. "Well, how do you know that?"
Ross pondered her question for a moment. "I don't know. I just do."
"My mommy doesn't love my daddy any more."
Ross smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, sweetie. But, when you live in New York, there's a fun zoo, and-"
"How do you know that you and your wife won't be gettin' a d'vorce?"
Being that Ross was very inexperienced at talking about serious matters with young children, he was at a loss for words. "Uh, well, I love her very much."
"My mommy and daddy a-used to love each others, but Daddy said there was a-someone else. He said sometimes you can be married but not in love."
Just then Emily got back and Rachel's mother butt in. "Okay, Rachie, come back here. The nice man's wife is back."
Before leaving, Rachel opened her eyes wide, very seriously. "Just a-remember. It could happen to you." She flashed Emily an innocent grin and skipped across the aisle.
As she eased herself into her seat, Emily asked, "What was that all about?"
Ross shrugged as the 'fasten seatbelt' sign flashed on. "I have no idea."
~*~*~*~*
Rachel looked out the large window in the airport as Ross's plane landed. She was at a loss for feelings, a loss for words. Never before in her life had she been this uncomfortable and this nervous.
She had anticipated this moment for the longest time. Of course, in her head, the reunion had taken place under much different circumstances. 'Ones that will never happen,' she dismally thought.
Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler all stood at the edge of the gate, waiting for their dear friend to arrive. Rachel stood behind them, feeling like the outsider who didn't belong.
Rachel felt her heart thump harder as passengers began to come into their view. In the distance, she could see a head that she would recognize anywhere.
With a little too much hair gel and a little too short of a time it spent with a comb, Ross's head turned into, well, Ross.
Rachel gasped. He had hardly changed at all. He still smiled the same, walked with the same cute lack of confidence. Only this time, he was followed by Emily.
'His wife, his best friend, the light of his life,' were Rachel's sarcastic thoughts.
As if in slow motion, Ross and Emily greeted all the others. The world spun before Rachel, as if she wasn't a part of it. 'I may as well not be.'
All of the sudden, Ross turned towards Rachel. She took a deep breath as her blue eyes met his brown ones. Rachel knew she didn't look like anything was wrong with her, she was always careful to hide her outer appearance.
Shyly, he stepped towards her. "Hey, Rach," he nearly whispered.
Her heart melted at the sound of his voice. "Hey, you."
He pulled her into a hug, and for one moment, and one moment only, the puzzle was complete. Rachel felt herself smile. For that blissful second, her life was perfect.
"Rachel?" Emily smiled at her as she left the arms of her soul mate. "Hello!"
Rachel was surprised as Emily pulled her into a hug. "Hi, Emily. How was the flight?"
Emily stepped back. "Oh, it was perfectly lovely. How are you?"
Rachel thought. 'Well, hmmm, I think I'm in love with your husband, it's pretty fair to say I'm on my way to becoming an alcoholic, oh, and I hate you.'
"I'm fine."
"Great! Monica says that she's having a party in honor of our arrival! Oh, and also Ross and I brought along our wedding videotape, especially for you and Phoebe because you didn't go. This way you'll feel like you were there!" Emily's cheerfulness went on its way to visit Joey as Rachel mentally cleaned herself of the conversation she had just had.
'Great. A party AND their wedding video. What could make my night better?'
As they headed down to baggage terminal, Monica passed by Rachel with an approving look. "You're doing great, Rach!"
Ross brushed by her side as Monica left, sparking little waves of electricity between them. He looked at her concernedly. "Rach, are you okay?"
She was surprised someone finally noticed the pain she was in. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He looked doubtful as he walked ahead, knowing how he felt. "Okay."
The whole crowd of seven happy people walked forward to claim what was theirs and discard what wasn't. One among the seven wasn't happy at all in marriage, but pretended for his sake that he was. And another, his missing piece, was breaking apart.
No one could tell by her outer appearance. To Monica, it was inevitable that Rachel would recover. Rachel knew better.
For every second she spent in misery, every day in pain, her heart broke and soul froze over. Soon, the pain would become unbearable. For now, she was dying a slow and painful death. Inside her heart.
Okay, so I don't like this chapter as much, but oh well. It just seemed kind of, I don't know, not as good to me. Let me know what you thought, ok? ;) Oh, and please tell me if the fight between Monica and Rachel seemed realistic. Tension between them is going to be building, I think. This is the last time I'll update before spring break, but I know I'll write. Cruise ships inspire me, lol. But, you know, you guys can do that too. So, all you gotta do is click the button that says review! Thanks and I hope this chapter wasn't too incredibly, well, I don't know. But not as good...:( Lol, ok I'm rambling, so please review. :)
Mel