Welcome to Truth or Dare! Tortallan Edition! Hosted by none other than the Marauders!

Remus: Welcome back! Well, I know one good thing that has happened since last time, if nothing else! I GOT MY LINE BACK! Go me!

All: *stare*

Remus: What?! I like this job!

Neal: You know, we may not be very bright, but we have some excellent healers…

Tortallans: *nod*

Remus: *dryly* Yes, I'm sure you do…

Dom: Say, Neal? If the healers are so great, what exactly is wrong with you? I mean, surely if they can fix Remus's little problem…

Neal: I don't appreciate that.

Gary: Y'know, somehow, I don't think that was the point.

Neal: Probably not.

Sirius: They don't need us to make fun of them Remus, they are doing perfectly well on their own!

Remus: I know, disappointing, isn't it?

Sirius: Very. Say, what ever happened to Lily and James?

Remus: Well, a number of things, but I'm thinking you might want to start running.

Sirius: *looks behind him and gulps* Run away!

Lily/James: DIE!

Kel: Didn't he say that a while ago? Say, Episode 3? Or was it 4? 5? Or 8? Hmm…

Peter: Let's look at it this way… Does it really matter?!

Kel: That was harsh. *sob*

Neal: There-

Dom: There. Hey! You stole my line!

Neal: Aren't I good at it though?

Dom: You aren't good at anything.

Alanna: Hear, hear.

Neal: No one appreciates me!

Lily: We've heard that before.

Remus: Er, Lily?

Lily: Yes?

Remus: *nervous smile* What happened to Sirius? Or do I not want to know?

Lily: *sweetly* That all depends.

Remus: On?

Lily: Oh, a couple things.

Remus: Such as?

Lily: 1. Whether you had anything to do with it. 2. If you care at all about him. And last, but certainly not least, 3. If you care whether you get horrific nightmares for the rest of your life and are unable to sleep for rest of said life.

Remus: Never mind.

Peter: Hey! Over here! Pick me!

Remus: Yes?

Peter: Whose turn is it?

Lily: Mine. Sirius just better be glad he is incapable of playing at the moment…

Gary: Why am I suddenly very concerned about his health?

Raoul: Could be the fact that Lily and James chased him off the stage just ten minutes ago? Or maybe the evil glint in Lily's eye?

Gary: Something along those lines.

Lily: I choose… Raoul!

Raoul: And this is where I remember what a good idea it is not to draw attention to myself…

Lily: Never mind that, it went out the window with the can-can. Truth or dare?

Raoul: Which one am I most likely to regret?

Lily: *deadpanned* Truth.

Raoul: Alright, dare then.

Remus: *awed* Lily! I didn't know you had it in you!

Raoul: Wait! Can I change my answer?

Marauders: *snicker*

Gary: *stage whisper* I think that's a no.

Raoul: *sarcastic* Really?

Remus: *sigh* And just when I was beginning to think these people had some sense.

Dom: Don't even bother. We don't. You'll just give yourself a headache.

Remus: Y'know, in a twisted way, that made sense... Oww.

Dom: Don't say I didn't warn you.

Remus: *dryly* Oh don't worry, I wont.

Peter: I hate to be the one who always brings this up, but… Can we please get on with it?

Lily: Alright, alright. Raoul, I dare you to… Uh… Oh shit.

Kel: What?

Lily: Well, you see, um…

Remus: What she is trying to say is; she is too embarrassed to say that she can't think of a good dare.

George: Oh! That makes sense. I think…

Jon: *snort* That's pathetic!

Lily: *growl*

Jon: No! Not you! Never you! I meant him! George!

Lily: Hmm.

Jon: Really! I swear! *grovels*

George: I'm pathetic? I'm pathetic?!

Jon: Alright, that's it, you're goin' down!

Alanna: *sigh* Why me? Why me?!

Lily: Women everywhere are asking that honey.

Daine: It figures. We're stuck with the mental ones.

Numair: Ex-cuse me?

Daine: You turned a man into a tree! A tree, I tell you, a tree!

Numair: Point taken.

James: *innocently* A tree you say? And how exactly did you go about this?

Lily: Severus Snape, wherever you are, run for your goddamn life.

Remus: I hate to say this, I really do, but I agree. James getting revenge is just not a pretty sight.

James: I'm hurt Remus. How could you say such a thing?!

Remus: Would you rather I say that you are dreadful at it, and would have better luck boxing with the giant squid?

James: Never mind.

Kel: Well, if Lily can't think of a dare, does that mean it's a truth?

Remus: I dunno. I guess it's time for the Handy-Dandy Extreme Book of Rules for Truth or Dare, Tortallan Edition to make a comeback.

Tortallans: *groan*

Remus: *pulls out the Handy-Dandy Extreme Book of Rules for Truth or Dare, Tortallan Edition and flips through it* Hmm… Let's see… No, that's not it. Er, no, definitely not. Aha! Found it! When the Darer (Lily) is unable to think of something to ask the Daree (Raoul), another contestant gets to give the Daree a dare!

Dom: Confusing.

Neal: Agreed.

Kel: Wait a minute. Did they just. Agree?

Alanna: You know what, I think they did. Someone, anyone! Alert the media!

Kel: *in awe* This is a major breakthrough.

Raoul: *snaps pictures on his Kodak disposable camera*

Alanna: I probably don't want to know, but I just can't resist. Raoul? Where the hell did you get that?

Raoul: My hairdresser gave it to me. She said it went well with my new look.

Kel: *takes deep breaths*

Alanna: *snorts*

Raoul: What? What?!

Dom: I suppose this is what we get for fighting, and insulting, and disagreeing all the time.

Neal: I think they're just doing to bug us.

Kel: No, you think?!

Dom: No, not usually.

Lily: Hmm, that sounds kind of familiar… *glances at the Marauders*

Marauders: *grin*

Owen: Alright, so picture me this… Neal used to like Kel. Dom used to like Kel. So who likes Kel now?

Jon: Random much?

Owen: Why yes, thank you.

Jon: *sigh*

Owen: But what I'm saying is; does anyone like Kel now?

Neal: Not me!

Dom: Or me!

Kel: Gee, I feel so wanted.

Alanna: No worries.

Kel: Easy for you to say, you had four guys fighting for you. I mean, you had the Crown Prince, the King of Thieves, the Shang Dragon, and Bob the Carthaki Flower seller!

George/Jon: Bob?

Alanna: Nice work dumbass. What are you trying to do?

Kel: Y'know, that's a really good question…

Alanna: *sigh* Owen, in answer to your question, lets question those two with the same thing Remus used on Lily.

Lily: No! I won't do it!

James: Re Vera!

Lily: I was trying to make a point there!

James: *innocent grin*

Lily: Grr…

James: *whimpers*

Alanna: Moving along… Domitan, Nealan, listen up.

Neal: The name! Why is it so hard?!

Alanna: Right… Do you like Kel?

Neal/Dom: Yes. What?! No, I do! I do! I do!

Kel: Oh shit.

Owen: Ditto.

Remus: Oh well, they'll get over it. I hope… Anyways, have we completely forgotten about Gary's dare? Will Jon and George ever forgive Alanna for her one night stand with Bob the Carthaki Flower seller? Will either Dom or Neal survive the fight they are sure to start next time? Is Sirius even alive somewhere out there? You may think so, but I'm not so sure… So, until next time!

Jon/George: BOB?! You slept with a man named BOB?!

Alanna: *defensively* It's a perfectly nice name!

Jon/George: Sure! For a flower seller!

Alanna: *sigh*

Neal: YOU like her?

Dom: What about you?! You're supposed to be her best friend!

Neal: What does that have to do with anything?!

Dom: I don't know! It just sounds good!

Neal: Right…