Author's notes and warnings: Souji Okita has been one of my favorite historical figures in the Japanese history – since I've seen him portrayed by Shinji Takeda in Gohatto Taboo. I've been wanting to write about him but couldn't find the time or the inspiration to do so.

And then I saw Peace Maker Kurogane. I have Sakusha to thank for this since she had recommended it highly. The anime, though not quite a history lesson, came close to the real events, even down to each character's role in history (um…aside from the creative additions) and I'm eternally grateful – being that I have great respect the real Souji Okita and the members of the Shinsengumi. I did quite a bit of research on the real man and the Shinsengumi and while I found a good many things, their record keeping at the time left much to be desired. So if I got some 'facts' screwed up somewhere, please advise me. I am eternally grateful!

Anou…I'm not sure about him dressing up like a girl though…and the pig is most questionable. ::sweatdrop::

In my earlier plans, I was adamant about keeping Souji heterosexual since he'd said he was straight in Gohatto Taboo (and appeared to be so in NHK Shinsengumi! A docu-drama series currently running) but when I saw Peace Maker…OMG… He is SOOOO with Hijikata and the Vice-Commander is so gorgeous! ::ahem:: And our resident Demon of the Shinsengumi is another fascinating character…

This chapter was supposed to be part of that 'kinky first line' drabble thing that ran rampant on my Live Journal but there were just too many things between them that I couldn't…

Chapter setting: after episode 7 where Souji took Hijikata to town so the man could buy him candy.

This chapter betaed by a great friend – Xellas. ::hugs:: Thank you.

Special thanks to Maguscrowley, Sakusha and Yammy for reviewing the previous chapter. I'm very happy that you like the story. As for the research…that's my passion, no da! ::hugs::

Disclaimer: If the Shinsengumi were mine…I would be in a lot of trouble seeing how they met their ends…so, no.

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Makoto - Belonging

By Moonraven

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"Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time."

Hijikata didn't think he'd heard it right but the mischievous glint in Souji's eyes was unmistakable. The much-feared Vice-Commander of the renowned Shinsengumi promptly choked on his tea and the hot contents of the cup sloshed onto his lap.

"Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot!"

Souji doubled over in a fit of laughter as Hijikata struggled to keep the very hot, soaking robe from sticking to his legs.

"That is NOT funny, Souji! What the hell are you thinking?" Hijikata growled at the youth gasping for breath next to him.

"You looked so serious, Hijikata-san! I had to get your attention somehow," Souji managed to say between fits of laughter while practically rolling on the floor of the Vice-Commander's room. "You should have seen your face!"

Hijikata glared the nearly patented 'Demon's Glare' at the tensai to no avail; Souji was quite immune to all of Hijikata's threats.

Still glaring, Hijikata got up and went to the cupboard and took out a fresh yukata. "Ahou,' he mumbled, knowing full well that he couldn't stay mad at Souji for long. He didn't think anyone could.

"What were you thinking anyway, Hijikata-san? Your face was SO serious." Souji was back to sitting primly in the middle of the floor again, his expression suddenly somber.

Hijikata paused briefly while tying the sash around his waist. His back was still turned to the young tensai and he took this time to carefully think about what he would say. What had gone wrong with their lives? Why did Souji feel that Hijikata had made a mistake in training him?

"Hijikata-san?" Souji's tone now sounded worried.

"Souji…" Hijikata had never liked it when Souji turned serious. The young man was meant to laugh and…frolic – a term Kat-chan had used when describing Souji, which the Vice-Commander had to agree was quite fitting. A serious Souji meant a deadly Souji.

"Maa, we can sit here and call each other's names all day, Hijikata-san… But tell me. What's wrong? Are you still worried about Tetsu-kun getting a sword?"

"No, but I was thinking about something you'd said earlier…about a mistake I'd made," Hijikata said quietly, without turning around.

The silence in the room was truly deafening. He'd heard that expression many times but he'd never really experienced it. Being on a compound with over a hundred men certainly reduced the chances of experiencing 'silence', but being in the constant company of Souji – and now his new page, Tetsunosuke – had reduced the likelihood even more.

Hijikata sighed and turned to face the tensai who was dubbed, 'the demon's child'. He wondered briefly if that had anything to do with the men calling HIM the demon. Of course Souji wasn't his child but Hijikata was one of the people responsible for training him. One of the people responsible for making him the feared warrior he was today.

Souji wasn't looking at him. He was looking out into the courtyard, the tea temporarily forgotten.

"Souji."

The tensai turned and gave him a brilliant smile…that didn't quite reach his beautiful eyes. "No wonder the men think you're an old man. You think too much, Hijikata-san."

"I don't care what the men think," he growled. "I care what YOU think. Why did you say that I'd made a mistake with you?"

Souji's intense violet eyes bore into him. Hijikata knew that look; had seen it in the tensai's eyes numerous times before. But mostly in the past, the people on the receiving end of that piercing look had ended up dead.

Hijikata kept his gaze level; even though he knew he was in no mortal danger, he knew enough about Souji to know that the young man was deadly serious.

But then Souji turned away abruptly and mumbled, "You don't like me this way."

Hijikata went over and knelt down next to the younger man. "Which way?" He asked but he had a good idea what Souji was talking about.

And the young tensai knew it. Souji turned and gave him a cold look that sent shivers up Hijikata's spine. "THIS way," Souji said evenly. And as suddenly as it appeared, the look was gone, replaced by confusion and fear. "You think you've created a monster and you regret it."

Souji uttered those words so quickly that it took Hijikata a few seconds to process them. By that time, the younger man had already risen to his feet and was trying to make a getaway.

Hijikata regained his wits enough to grab on to Souji's wrist and tug hard, making the young man squeal as he tumbled back down into Hijikata's arms.

"I don't think that and you are NOT a monster!" Hijikata growled into Souji's ear. "Nor are you a demon's child."

"I am when I'm out there," Souji said quietly. "I can't help it. It just…happens."

"Souji…" Hijikata turned the young man around to face him. Those violet eyes gazed up at him pleadingly, as if he could make all the hurt and pain go away.

"It's a survival skill and you're the best at it. It's how you stay alive. How you keep your men alive, as well as Japan herself." His hold on the young man tightened. "Do YOU think I'm a demon?"

Souji's eyes sparkled suspiciously but the tensai did not look away. Instead, he shook his head. "But you always scold me."

Hijikata's lips twitched slightly. "I…you get so intense; I'm afraid you'll get hurt."

Souji blinked and frowned. "Mou…not one of them here can hurt me, Hijikata-san. I'm hurt you think so poorly of my skills." The tensai pouted rather prettily.

"Baka." Hijikata shook him gently. "You shouldn't exert yourself when it's not necessary."

"Hijikata-san." Souji's voice was soft and trembling. And then, as though he'd just realized that he was still cradled in his commander's arms, Souji cleared his throat and tried to push away. "You'll get sick."

Hijikata frowned and shook his head. "I don't care."

"I do!" Souji pushed harder but Hijikata was stronger. "We've talked about this, Hijikata-san. We can't…" He shook his head vehemently while struggling to get away.

"We're not doing anything, baka." Hijikata chided gently and loosened his hold. Souji sat up and adjusted his yukata, not looking at his commander.

"So…if you're alright with me the way I am, why won't you give Tetsu-kun his swords?" Souji asked, his eyes once again twinkling merrily as he prepared for a row.

Hijikata sighed. "You're not alright with the way you are, Souji. Nor would he be."

Souji blinked at him. "But if you're happy with me, that's all that matters, Hijikata-san."

"Souji…"

The young man smiled. "You're a demon and I'm his child…I'm content, Hijikata-san. Are you?"

The Vice-Commander glared. "No, ahou! I may be a demon but I certainly don't want you to be my child! Something else, definitely, but not my child!"

Souji laughed and waved his hand airily. "But I'm yours, isn't that all that matters?"

Hijikata caught the hand and brought it to his lips. He wasn't an affectionate man and it was rare that he would display any gentler emotions but Souji had always been able to bring this side of him out. "Mine."

The intense violet eyes flared heatedly. "Always."

---- chapter end ----

More notes: I'm not sure how accurate this 'Hijikata trained Souji' thing is…sure he's older – by about 9 years and his best friend is Kondou, who ran the Shieiken dojo but historical notes did not mentioned Hijikata as one of Souji's instructors although older students most likely did help in teaching younger ones.

It was more likely, however, for Hijikata to be trained BY Souji, as was the case in NHK's version of Shinsengumi. It is even MORE likely, as pointed out by Enma-O on my LJ, that Hijikata didn't train Souji at all but may have been a great influence in some way. The anime, on the other hand, took liberties and I'm going along with it since it makes a much prettier story. Yeh for fanfiction!

I have not read the manga and not sure if there are further explanations to Souji's comments. This story is from what I've seen of the anime.

When Hijikata used the name 'Kat-chan', he was referring to Kondou, whose given name was Katsugorou Miyakawa. He was adopted by the master of Shieiken dojo when he was 16 and it is widely believed that close childhood friends continued to call him by his given name