Tortallan Truth or Dare
Welcome to Truth or Dare! Tortallan Edition! Hosted by none other than the Marauders!
Remus: Welcome back! It's been a long time, no? Anyway, last time you saw us, we were just about to start the pie eating contest between Neal and Dom! James, Lily, and myself will be the judges. We'd include Sirius and Peter, but I think Sirius might be dead, and Peter still isn't back with the pool toys. Oh well.
Neal: Remind me again why I agreed to this?
James: You didn't. We agreed for you. You really didn't have any say at all.
Neal: Why am I not surprised?
James: shrug
Kel: sigh Lets get this over with.
Lily: Fine, fine. Hold your horses. We do need to discuss the rules you know.
Dom: Which are?
Lily: There aren't any.
George: blink
James: Hey! Who are you blinking at thief boy!
Jon: Have we even attempted to escape yet?
Alanna: And where exactly did that come from?
Jon: shrug I just figured it was time. It's only been a year and a half you know, and some of us have better things to do. Like myself.
George: You? Better things? Like what, clip your fingernails?
Jon: scowl
Alanna: Again, why me?
Daine: Why you! My husband, who I just so happen to have two children with, is gay! You do not have problems.
Alanna: I can see how that would suck.
Numair: Hey! It was a long time ago… And he was the heir to the throne. Who here would say no?
All: raise hands
Numair: glare
Daine: Aww, is the big bad black mage pouting? Does he need his evil boyfriend to come back from the dead and cheer him up?
Numair: Remind me why I married you again…
Owen: Because she was the only one who would take you?
James: snort
Lily: Can we get on with it any time soon?
Dom: Yeah, before it's time to go for dinner preferably, I need something to whet my appetite.
Neal: Oh goddess…
Daine: Yes?
Faithful: I really don't think he was talking to you.
Daine: Oh. Oh. Well then. Scowls
Remus: Alright! We're all set up! Basically, whoever can eat the most pies in fifteen minutes wins! And the winner gets Kel!
Kel: Hang on a sec, gets Kel? What am I, a suit of armor?
Alanna: mutter You're certainly stiff enough…
Raoul: raises eyebrow Someone forgot to take their Valium today.
Gary: Probably not the smartest thing you've ever done Raoul.
Raoul: No, probably not.
Alanna: glare
Lily: Any minute now would be nice…
Peter: I'm ba-ack, and I have rubber duckies!
All: stare
Peter: What? What!
Dom: I don't think we want to know.
James: shrug Peter's always been a bit strange.
Sirius: A bit? A bit! I don't think so my friend!
All: stare
Sirius: What? What!
James: Aren't you, er, dead?
Sirius: Umm, no, I don't think so. I mean, I think I might've noticed, you know?
Alanna: You never know…
Sirius: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that. Anyway, what'd I miss?
James: Dom and Neal are going to have a pie eating contest. Winner gets to keep Kel.
Kel: grumble
Sirius: Whoa. Isn't that, I don't know, kind of drastic?
James: That's what I thought.
George: What's the big deal about a pie eating contest?
Jon: Hey, George.
George: Yah?
Jon: Do you really want to know the answer to that?
George: Point taken.
Gary: I don't suppose this is going to be the last episode?
James: No.
Lily: Not a chance.
Sirius: What, are you kidding?
Remus: Madness…
Peter: Duckies!
All: stare
Neal: Can we get this over with?
Kel: Must we get it over with?
All: Yes.
Kel: Oh.
James: Alright, contestants, take your seats!
Neal: gulp
Dom: cracks knuckles You're going down pansy boy!
Neal: Hey! Did you not read the latest chapter of The Forgotten Shall Rise? I had my arm cut off! MY ARM! Who's the pansy now?
Lily: The Forgotten Shall Rise?
Tortallans: shudder Don't ask.
Remus: raises eyebrow Right...
James: When I say go, you go. Got it?
Dom/Neal: nod
Raoul: I should hope they get it. Not exactly the most difficult of concepts.
Alanna: Still, a lot of things you wouldn't expect go right over their heads. I think it's the Queenscove blood. Duke Baird always was a bit thick.
Jon: Oh?
Alanna: Oh come on, he never even caught on that I was a girl for Mithros' sake.
Jon: So? He's still the chief healer. Obviously he did something right, at some point.
Alanna: You know you just kept him on because your father chose him.
Jon: And that's a bad thing why?
Alanna: Think about it for a minute. Your father was called the Peacemaker. Doesn't exactly lead to a heavy workload for the healers, does it?
George: rolls eyes
James: This could take a while.
Gary: Gee, you don't say?
James: Actually I do.
Lily: sigh Sarcasm James, sarcasm.
James: Oh. Right. I knew that.
Dom: Suuure you did.
James: Do you want him to get a head start or something?
Dom: blush
Neal: rolls eyes
Lily: Any chance we're going to start while we're still young?
Remus: Probably not.
Faithful: Speak for yourself. I will be young forever.
Sirius: Maybe so, but you're still a cat.
Faithful: hiss
Sirius: growl
Remus: raises eyebrow
Peter: Do you think I can put the pool toys on my expense account?
Remus: sigh
Peter: What? What this time?
Daine: You really are slow aren't you?
Numair: You're one to talk. Who was it that lived with a wolf pack for a year?
Daine: At least I didn't turn a man into a tree!
Numair: Umm, Daine? I did that on purpose.
Jon: rolls eyes This is sad. I depend on these people to defend my country…
George: Well maybe if you did a better job of it yourself you wouldn't need us.
Jon: Who said I was talking about you?
Alanna: sigh
Remus: I think we had better cut it off here for today. You know, ease the tension and all… The pie eating contest will just have to wait. And it'll give Daine and Numair a chance to work out their "problems". And if we're lucky, Peter'll be able to book an appointment with his therapist.
Neal: And just when I was all ready to take Dom down too…
Dom: Excuse me?
Neal: You heard me.
Dom: In your dreams pretty boy.
Neal: Pretty boy!
Remus: sigh
End