Rah rah siss boom BA! Ello and welcome to my new fic, well our new fic. No I'm not schizophrenic This is a join fic about random crap between myself and NicoleFelton. Prepare yourselves because its really strange, but when you picture the actors doing what we write its firkin hilarious!

Disclaimer notice: I own Fred & George Weasley, they're in the cupboard under my sink, Sirius black who's crying in my bedroom, Harry Potter who's being an annoying little git in my living room and he keeps drinking all the CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE!

Nicole owns Luna Lovegood (don't ask) Lucius Malfoy, Draco, Professor Snape and we share joint custody of Tom marvolo Riddle, as well as Lea!!!

Apart from that we own nothing.

SO TALLY HO

Harry Potter, & the Quagzar

The sun rose pathetically into the pathetic blue coloured sky. Harry sat on the sofa of the pathetic Gryffindor common room, drinking chocolate milkshake. Everyone else was still asleep.

Suddenly he made a large twitching movement, but swiftly settled back into his calm position. Just so you know Harry has a weird physical function that causes him to randomly twitch and spasm. We think it might be the steroids…

He pouted pathetically when he realised. He'd finished his chocolate milkshake. Still pouting he looked around, and noticed a glass of chocolate milkshake next to Hermione's books, pathetically..

Mmmmm precious chocolate milkshake…

"No I can't have that, that's Hermione's milkshake"

Silence you fool! Take it, ITS YOURS!

Harry jumped like a little bunny over to the table and picked up the milkshake. His eyes bulging manically.

"I'm going to drink you little shakey, I'm going to drink you little shakey!"

"DIE!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hermione came flying out of the Girls dormitories onto Harry's back, pinning him to the floor.

"DON'T TOUCH MY MILKSHAKE!"

She screamed snatching it up and glaring fiercely, before straightening up and walking back up the stairs to bed.

"YOU CRAZY BITCH!"

Harry screamed after her, his eye twitching violently.

SCENE CHANGE Harry is now walking down the corridor to Hospital wing. Where Ron is after Snape beat him savagely with a cold haddock.

"SO hey you with the ginger hair how are you with the lack of dying and the death and the needles in the eyes for the recovery of fun!"

Harry smiled as he jumped onto the end of Ron's bed pathetically, eyes wide and grinning happily, rocking back and forth

"I'm ok, there's still a big rash from where Professor Snape put the fish up my-"

"Chocolate Milkshake!"

"Yeah where he put the fish up my chocolate- what!?!?!"

Ron suddenly realised that he'd been drinking chocolate milkshake that morning. And had left the glass half full, or as some pricks would say half empty on his bedside table. Harry was fixated on it, his tongue rolling out of his mouth, pathetically down to the floor as he slowly crawled across Ron's bed to get the drink of chocolaty goodness…

"Madam Pomfrey, help me!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ron squealed like a ten-year-old girl pathetically, and Madam Pomfrey came rushing in dressed as a raccoon, pathetically.. She screamed dramatically and threw a dustbin over Harry's head, pathetically, causing him to run around in tiny little circles in front of Ronny-kins' bed before crashing into the wall, pathetically.

Ron and Madam Pomfrey became silent…pathetically. Harry tipped the dustbin off his head, pathetically, and emerged, with a banana skin perched like a little hat on his head.

"I CANT WORK LIKE THIS ANYMORE IM THE BOY WHO LIVED AND IIIIIIIIII HAVE MY OWN FRIKKIN BOOK SERIES WHICH HAPPENS TO BE THE BEST SELLING CHILDRENS BOOK OF ALL TIME! IM A MILLIONAIRE I HAVE A BIG HOUSE TWO CATS AND A DOG AND I CAN PERFORM MAGIC AAAAAAAAAANNND I CAN SAY VOLDEMORT WITH TWITCHING OR FLINCHING LIKE SOME PATHETIC PRICK!!! I QUIT!"

He screamed, pathetically and ran out of the doors, Alfonso Quaron chasing him pathetically, screaming after him.

"Harry come back, I'm sorry I said those mean things last night!"

Ron and Madame Pomfrey stared after them, pathetically wondering what to do next. Then all of a sudden they saw Sirius running down the corridor after Alfonso.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY LITTLE NAÏVE GOD CHILD! ONLY IM ALLOWED TO DO THAT!"

And stealing one of the maces from one of the set of armour he pelted full speed after Al, cursing in some weird azkabanish language.

Then perfectly randomly Snape burst into the ward wearing a coconut bra, a grass skirt and holding a pair of maracas.

"Don't be sad its carnival!"

He screamed and started doing the cha cha in the middle of the room. Madam Pomfrey/ Madam Raccoon joined him, as well as the rest of the Harry Potter cast, apart from Alfonso Quaron, Sirius Black and Harry Potter himself, who had climbed up on top of Hagrids head. Alfonso had been trying to get him down but then Sirius maced him to death and they ate him in a lovely birthday cake for Dean Thomas. And I can say that in complete confidence because JK Rowling never said when Dean's birthday was, so I say ITS TODAY. Also Bagel (my alter ego) and Zanthee, Nicole's alter ego where there, trying to steal Snapes coconuts.

This is a perfectly normal day. You haven't seen a weird day yet.

Now I shall hand it over to Nicole…. TALLY HO YOUNG SQUIRE