Integra had been humiliated. It was an unusual feeling for her. Not one she'd experienced much during her life. If anything, she'd spent a great deal of time and energy devoted to avoiding embarrassment or…or shame.
Integra sat down on the edge of her bed and, after removing her glasses, drew a pale hand over her face and sighed. Flashed images of no more than half an hour ago still flashed uncomfortably through her mind. Leaning back, Integra rested her head on one of the forest green decorative pillows and tried not to think too much about what had happened.
Walter had gone into a state of shock. No matter what he'd been thinking lately, she knew that actually seeing it had proven almost too much for him to handle. This wasn't supposed to happen. The leader of Hellsing, destroyer of the vampires, guardian of her Majesty, was not supposed to have unnatural relations with the undead. There were no "ifs, ands, or buts" about it.
Integra closed her eyes, and began slowly unbuttoning her jacket. When she'd left Walter in the library, her legs had not been cooperating. They'd felt shaky, like the bones had disappeared. Her first wild thought had been that perhaps Alucard had done this to her. Perhaps the feeling would fill her body until she could no longer move. Then he would break the seals with her helpless to stop him.
Then she'd realized what it was, and that he had been responsible. Just not in that way.
Her skin tingled a little and her veins still burned dully. Integra cursed under breath. She still wanted him. The thought caused a sudden wariness to blossom within her as though she expected him to show up in a cloud of black mist.
When Walter had…when he had found them, Alucard had disappeared pretty quickly. Integra smirked at the thought that an age-old vampire might actually still possess the ability to feel embarrassment.
She shook her head, and shrugged out of her jacket with a sigh. Standing, she finished undressing in front of her large wardrobe and slipped into her white silk night gown.
Integra was passing her vanity, when she suddenly felt the urge to stop and look at her reflection. It was just her looking back, but somehow she was bothered by this. She knew he should be appearing, considering she couldn't seem to stem the flow of sensory memories. It was as though she could still feel his cool breath on her neck.
And yet, that's all it was. A memory. Furrowing her brow, she regarded herself sternly, and sniffed. It was just as well. This was not something that should be continued. She needed to cease the foolishness immediately.
"I swear, with the promise of bodily pain, that this ends tonight."
Feeling slightly more satisfied, her reflection nodded, and she slipped into bed, flipping the switch on the lamp beside her.
She was just drifting off to sleep when the heavy curtains at the foot of her bed stirred. It was a gentle movement, but Integra had gone through too many years of training to let such details go unnoticed. She was suddenly wide awake.
"Evening," drolled a low and familiar voice.
Integra's eyes narrowed, and she sighed in exasperation. She tried to push her glasses higher on her nose, and felt slightly flustered when she remembered that they were still on the beside table where she'd left them earlier.
"Alucard, I need you to understand that this is something that can not continue." Integra ground her teeth, knowing full well that her servant had never been one to be concerned with what could and couldn't be done.
"Ah, master," he said, sounding almost wistful. "And you had been so close to finally letting me teach you a few things about this world." Almost wistful.
Integra leaned back against her pillows and pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger.
"Alucard…" She looked up and glared at him. "I am ordering you to renounce your claim upon my desires."
She could tell, even just from his silence, that he could sense her complete seriousness. She truly wanted it to stop. There was too much at stake.
There was a sigh in the darkness somewhere near the foot of her bed.
"Fine."
Integra made a small scoffing sound. "The mighty No-Life King is surrendering? I feel a desire to phone the Queen and reveal this startling news."
There was a low chuckle, and then, "No."
Integra folded her arms over her chest. "No, what?"
"I've renounced nothing."
Integra's lips went tight. "Then you are disobeying a direct ord--"
"--No," he cut her off.
She stopped, her heart beginning to quicken its pace out of frustration.
"I was never compelled to obey your desires."
"What…?"
Alucard appeared from the shadows and sat beside her on the bed. His hair shimmered like the purest of black silk, reflecting the moonlight that flowed in from the balcony window.
"I was always aware of them, Integra…" his voice had acquired a slightly husky timbre, and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck raising in response.
"However," he raised a chilly finger to her lips to silence the protests that he somehow knew were threatening to spill over from between them.
"The supposed 'slip of your tongue,'" he paused just long enough to laugh dryly. "occurred while you were dreaming."
Integra frowned at him, her anger lost in the effort of trying to discern what the man was getting at.
He sighed contemptibly. "I have no more power over you in your dreams than any other character your mind chooses to create. Words spoken in dreams have no power over anyone but the speaker." He shook his head condescendingly. "These are things you should already know, Master."
Shock at his words numbed her system for a full minute as the meaning began to sink in.
"You deceived me," she whispered, her eyes gone wide and wild-looking.
She turned her gaze to him. "You claimed to be bound by something that you were not."
His wine-colored eyes glowed dully. They were near, and something deep within them flashed.
"How is it that you were able to disobey my orders, then? If you were not bound by my desires, how is it that you were not forced to bend to my words?"
Integra watched as his long, pale face broke into a wide grin.
"It has been a while since you checked the seals, Master. Perhaps you should do so?"
"No," she gasped as he traced the side of her face mockingly with one pure white gloved hand.
There were no symbols.
"I've been busy, Integra. You, of all people, should have known that I would someday find a way to free myself."
His grin faded, and he leaned forward, his chin titled slightly upward. Gently, he cooed, "how does it feel to be the one to let me get away?"
Integra had broken out in a cold sweat, as she realized the position she was in. Defenseless, in the dark, with a blood-thirsty beast. She cursed herself repeatedly in every tongue she knew, trying not to let the emotions bubble up to the surface. But of course, he would know what she was thinking anyway…
Feeling her hands go clammy, she looked up into the face of her enemy. She saw his look of triumph, and suddenly, it was as though something snapped within her.
"Get out, you filthy beast," she fumed, letting the words slip past her clenched teeth like coiled snakes. "You have until the count of three to remove yourself from my home, or so help me, myself and the rest of the Hellsing family will do it for you."
She lunged forward and gripped his long neck with one small fist, knuckles gone white and shaking with the applied pressure.
"One," she gasped, her eyes burning.
He laughed.
"Two," she squeezed harder.
He frowned.
"Three!"
With that word, her fist slammed shut upon itself as the vampire dissolved into the night.
She slammed it down onto the bed beside her, and barely restrained the scream of rage that wanted so desperately to be released.
Suddenly, her fist softened, and she found herself covering her face with both hands, shaking silently. Everything she had worked for was gone. Everything she'd given up living for. She'd given up life for duty, and she had failed.
Dry eyes burned, as though through years of disuse, they were unfamiliar with what was supposed to come next.
Integra felt numb, and shaking, tried to stand. She needed to tell Walter. Needed to alert the men. Stumbling, she grabbed the bedpost for strength. No. No. No.
Flying to the window, she tore it open and began to scream. "Aluuuucaaard!!!!"
She screamed his name over and over until her throat felt as though it would come undone any second from now. She wondered, dimly, where Walter was. Surely he would have come running at the first of her screams.
The thought came to her then, like a sorrowfully whispered message in the doorway by uniformed men… perhaps she was the only one left. Perhaps everyone was dead, and he had left her alive, knowing she would spend her short existence praying to join them.
Integra sank to her knees, staring down at the glistening grounds of Hellsing below. Dew had formed over everything, and in the pale light of the moon, all was cast in shadow. She thought she could see movement, and felt her heart skip a beat.
A figure stepped out from behind a tall pine. It was him.
Cold fury radiated from her body as Integra gained her feet and grabbed her gun before finding herself flying through Hellsing's empty halls and out the doubled doors of a breezeway that lead out to the grounds.
Not hesitating, she tore through the cold wet grass towards him, stopping only two feet away. Raising her gun, she emptied it into his face.
"You killed them all, you monster! How dare you assume that you would be permitted to leave here and get away with this?!"
Alucard enveloped the bullets within himself and grinned down at her. "I assumed no such thing."
Integra felt her eye twitch.
Alucard stepped closer. "Allow me to make myself more clear." He leaned down until his face was level with hers. She stared him down, never flinching.
"It was never my intention to leave."
She sneered at him, but he continued before she could use some choice words.
"And, though I could easily have done what you have accused me of doing, you will find upon your return to the mansion that everyone is safe and…well…they are safe."
Integra gritted her teeth, trying with every fiber to remain civil so that she might press him for more information.
"Why?" was all she could manage, and even it sounded like it had been meant as a slap.
Without warning, Alucard took her hand. There was a moment of dizziness before Integra realized that she was standing in her bedroom once again. Her feet, still cold and covered in dew and small blades of grass, served as the only reminder that she'd ever been outside.
Integra looked up at Alucard, her eyes flashing at his condescending grin in regard to her bewilderment.
It was something he would never have been able to do while the seals remained. A dull ache spread through out her abdomen, and Integra almost doubled over at the immense weight of guilt weighing upon her as she remembered.
"Why stay to gloat? You have shown your hollow mercies, now leave me to grieve in peace."
She made her way over to the bed that lay waiting for her, still slightly warm beneath the covers. Slipping between the cloth, she leaned her head back against the headboard and closed her eyes.
"I told you," the vampire whispered. "I have no intention of leaving." There was a pause, in which Integra didn't move or respond.
"I…" There was another pregnant pause. "I have chosen to ally myself with you."
Integra looked up in shock, her features creased with doubt.
Alucard stood beside her, his face darkly grim. She watched as he kneeled in front of her. "Sir Integra, though I may no longer be bound to the Hellsing family, it is you who I have chosen as my master for as long as that may be."
He raised his head, to see that Integra had placed one hand over her mouth, and was staring down at his form in disbelief.
"Now, as ever, Integra…your wish shall be my every command."
(A/N: Nope, this isn't the end. You might say...this is just the beginning, hehe. Thanks for the reviews. I hope you guys are enjoying this as much as I am. Stay tuned to find out what happens next. Sorry about no smoochies )