Smile All The While
A/N: I am not an expert on the A Team at all. Just a story idea I got in my head. Hope it's enjoyable and realistic enough!
1
The van ride to the psychiatric hospital seemed to take hours today, Murdock thought, as he stared out the window. The team had just finished a major counterfeiting case and were able to clear their client of any criminal charges. Hannibal had been very pleased at the outcome of this case, and Face seemed thrilled at the profits they'd made. He was just going over the accounts now. Murdock glanced over at his friend and watched him writing down figures.
"Well, how'd we make out, Face?" Hannibal asked.
"We're out of the red, Colonel."
Face sighed contentedly and set down his pen, "We won't have to work for at least a month. I can finally take that trip to Maui."
"To see your Aunt Harriet of course." Hannibal said, with a straight face.
"Oh, oh. Yes, dear Aunt Harriet. I've been meaning to go and see her lately. You know she has that great big pineapple business. Just can't keep up with the demand for fresh pineapples."
Murdock rolled his eyes and B.A. let out a laugh, "Crazy fool."
"What about you, Murdock? How will you spend your time off?" Face asked.
He'd noticed his friend had been rather silent the entire drive. He hadn't even heard Murdock tease B.A. once this entire trip.
"Oh, I don't know. Probably just stay in my room at the hospital."
Hannibal shifted slightly in his chair and processed the unusual answer.
"You sure you don't want to go flying to Maui with Face?" he asked.
"Nope, can't stand pineapples."
Face caught Hannibal's gaze in the rear view mirror and tried to keep a jovial tone. Something in his gut told him that there was something bothering Murdock though.
"Oh come on, Murdock. Don't you want to go lounge on a beach in the tropical sun, and meet girls?" he teased.
Murdock started and sat up ramrod straight. His expression grew tense and almost agitated.
"No, no I don't." he managed to say.
Face was startled by the sudden change and wondered what he had said wrong. Hannibal and B.A. hadn't missed Murdock's reaction either. An awkward silence filled the van and Murdock turned away to look out his window. B.A. glanced at Hannibal and then looked in the rearview mirror at Murdock.
Finally, Hannibal broke the awkward tense silence.
"Well, anyone want to stop for a bite to eat?"
"Sounds good to me." Face said, quickly.
B.A. nodded, "I could use a rest from driving."
All eyes focused on Murdock, who hadn't spoken up. Face noticed Murdock had drawn his knees up to his chest and was hunched against the window. Reaching over, he gently nudged Murdock's arm.
"Hey, want to stop for a bite to eat?"
Murdock shook his head and didn't say a word. Face tried to draw him out a bit and faked a laugh.
"Oh, come on. You never turn down a Captain Billy burger."
"I'm not hungry. You guys go ahead." Murdock replied, finally.
Hannibal's expression grew a bit serious, "You're not feeling sick, are you, Captain?"
"No, Sir."
Face settled back into his seat and gave Hannibal a questioning look. Hannibal gave him a brief shake of the head as if to say, "Don't press him." and changed the conversation to other things.
B.A. pulled off the road to a roadside eatery and they all got out, except Murdock.
"You coming, Murdock?" Face asked.
"No, I'll wait for you to come back. Might try to catch a nap."
Murdock settled back in his seat and closed his eyes. Face reluctantly closed the van door and followed Hannibal and B.A. inside the eatery.
"What's wrong with the crazy fool?" B.A. asked,
He was usually very annoyed with Murdock, but seeing him act like this worried him.
Hannibal shook his head, "I'm not sure. You two order and I'll see if I can go talk to him."
He turned and headed back outside towards the van.
Murdock was just dropping off to sleep when the van door opened. He hadn't been expecting them to get the food so quickly. Seeing it was Hannibal, Murdock gulped. The Colonel would want to know what was going on. HE couldn't tell anyone, not right now. Hopefully, he could keep the Colonel guessing for a while.
"Want to tell me what's bothering you, Captain?" Hannibal asked, quietly.
Murdock kept quiet, and tried to think up a genuine answer that would satisfy him.
"It's nothing serious." he hedged.
Hannibal settled back in his seat and Murdock felt his gaze on him.
"Something happen on our last job I don't know about?"
"Oh, no, Colonel. Nothing like that. Everything went fine. I'm sure glad we caught those crooks and put them behind bars."
Murdock forced a happy tone into his voice and faked a smile. Hannibal was hard to deceive though. Hopefully, he'd drop the subject and just let the sleeping dogs lie a while longer.
To his relief, Hannibal let the subject go and turned his gaze towards the eatery. Murdock tried to get back to sleeping once more, but now he felt on edge. Only another hour till they reached the hospital though. He'd be safe once he was back in his room again.
B.A. and Face returned with the food and Murdock pretended to have fallen asleep. He listened to them all talk in low voices and tried to ignore the tantalizing smell of food. Finally, they were on the road and driving again. Murdock sighed inwardly and let the motion of the van lull him to sleep.
Face, meanwhile, kept a close watch on him the rest of the way back. He kept going over the conversation about Maui in his mind. What had he said wrong that had gotten such a reaction from Murdock? Face couldn't figure out what had happened there. He was glad to see Murdock's features relax as he slept. Maybe he just needed to get back to the hospital for some alone time or something. It had been a long two week job they'd been on, after all. Murdock had worked hard all the while and managed to take a bullet for the team. The graze mark on his arm wasn't serious, but the wound would be sore for some time. Face watched his friend sleep and wondered what he was dreaming about. Time in 'Nam? Memories from the past?
Murdock started awake then and banged his had against the window. Ouch. That was enough to trigger off a headache for him. Hannibal glanced over at him.
"You all right, Murdock? That sounded like a hard knock on the head."
"Yeah, it was. No worries, I'm all right."
Face offered him a cold water bottle and Murdock took it with a nod of thanks. Pressing it against his throbbing forehead, he sighed and looked out the window at the passing scenery.
"How much farther?" he asked.
B.A. was glad to hear him finally speak. "We'll get there when we get there." he said, gruffly.
Hannibal shot him a warning look, "B.A. maybe you could narrow down your time window."
"'Bout twenty minutes."
Murdock nodded, and sighed heavily. Face looked at him and tried not to act too concerned.
"Your head better now?"
"Yeah, yeah. It's all good." Murdock lied.
Face seemed to give him a long stare before turning his gaze away to his own window. Murdock couldn't wait to get to the hospital and especially out of the van. He just wanted to be alone.
Finally, B.A. turned onto the familiar parking lot and stopped outside the main doors. Murdock grabbed his duffle bag and quickly moved past Face.
"Well, I'll see you guys later." he said, faking a cheery tone.
"Wait, I'd better go in with you, after all, I'm supposed to be your other doctor." Face said, starting to get up.
"No worries, Face. I'll explain everything."
With a quick wave, Murdock turned and seemed to rush inside the double doors. The three men stared at the closing doors, wordless.
"Well, I guess we'd better head back to the rental house. Neighbors are probably wondering what happened to the new tenants." Hannibal said, finally.
B.A. slowly drove through the parking lot and turned onto the main street. No one spoke but everyone was thinking about Murdock's odd behavior.
2
After making his usual entrance into the hospital, Murdock made a fast beeline for his own room. He slammed the door shut behind him and sagged against it, relieved. At last, he was by himself. No visitors, no questions, no conversations. That suited him fine. Murdock sat down on his bed and let out a deep sigh. He was bone tired and had no intentions of going anywhere for the next century. The dark memories he'd been fighting all the way home, started creeping into his mind again. Murdock pulled his knees up to his chest and wished he could hide in a dark hole somewhere. He hated having such vivid flashbacks. Medication didn't do much to help. Oh, sure, they help sugarcoat some of the details, but he knew the truth still.
Today especially, a certain dark memory had been nagging at him all day long. It was a secret that no one, not even Face, knew anything about. Murdock closed his eyes and tried to swallow down the lump forming in his throat. It had been exactly one year today. A sob escaped him then and hot tears trickled down his cheeks. He buried his head in his hands and let the pain seep out as the tears fell hard and fast. No one could ever know about it.
He must have cried himself to sleep. The next thing Murdock knew, he was startled back to the present by his phone ringing. He groaned and straightened up from his cramped position of the night before. The phone stopped ringing then and he decided it wasn't worth getting up anyways. Murdock felt a strong headache pounding behind his eyes and laid back down. He closed his eyes, and tried to relax his racing mind. Sleep was an afterthought, a lucky break if he got any more at all. Murdock vaguely remembered he hadn't taken his medications last night. Not that they helped him anyways. The phone began ringing again and Murdock groaned aloud. Mustering his strength, he forced himself up and out of bed. The phone kept on ringing, but he wasn't planning on answering it. Rather, with a firm tug, he disconnected the phone and put a stop to the intrusive noise. Finally, peace and silence. Murdock collapsed back onto his bed and finally allowed sleep to overtake him.
3
Hannibal dialed Murdock's number again and shook his head. No answer. The recorded message played over and over, stating that the number was currently disconnected.
He hung the phone back up and went outside to the back patio where Face and B.A. were.
"You get a hold of Murdock finally?" Face asked.
"No, his phone's disconnected."
B.A.'s eyes narrowed slightly, "That ain't like the crazy fool."
Hannibal nodded and his jaw tensed slightly. "I don't like it. Face, see if you can get his doctor on the phone. Check whether or not Murdock signed himself in last night."
Face nodded, and went back inside the house. Hannibal seated himself at the small table and leaned back in his chair.
"You think he broke out?" B.A. asked.
"I don't know. There was something going on with him yesterday though."
The patio door opened and Face reappeared. His face looked tense and pale.
"Hannibal, they say they never saw Murdock yesterday. Doctor's checking his room now."
Hannibal got up quickly and B.A. followed suit.
"I'll go warm up the van." he said.
Face hurried back inside to the phone and Hannibal followed him. He could just kick himself for not talking more thoroughly with Murdock yesterday. The signs had all been there. They'd been down this road before.
Face was still talking with the doctor and Hannibal waited, hoping he was wrong about his suspicions.
"We'll be there as soon as we can."
Face hung up the receiver and turned to him, "Murdock's not in his room. They don't know where he is."
"Let's move. Check the typical places he goes."
The two men raced out of the house, and towards the black van in the driveway. B.A. took off, tires squealing, and they all kept their eyes peeled on the sidewalks and streets.
4
Murdock didn't recall leaving his room at the hospital. One minute the walls were closing in on him, and then next thing he knew, here he was outside. It seemed like he'd been wandering the sidewalks for days. His vision swam and he could hardly walk straight. Why was he even out here anyways? Voices swirled all around and people jostled him. He tried to see if anyone looked familiar, but the faces were all distorted and blurred.
"Murdock!" a shout sounded behind him
Who was that? Why was his name being called?
Another voice shouted from behind, seemingly familiar.
"Murdock, wait for us!"
His brain was sending out distress signals but his body wasn't responding properly. Murdock tried to run, tried to get away from whoever was after him. The next thing he knew the ground reached out and yanked him down onto the hard concrete. His head struck against something and the world suddenly went completely dark.
Hannibal broke into a sprint, watching with horror, as Murdock fell to the ground. Face raced past Hannibal then and dropped to the ground beside their fallen friend.
"He's bleeding, Hannibal. He must have hit his head on something when he fell."
There was panic in Face's voice and Hannibal quickly knelt down beside him.
"B.A. , get these people back." he ordered.
He then focused his attention to Murdock, who lay motionless. He was breathing, but a trickle of blood ran down the side of his face.
"Face, see if you can stop the bleeding . I'll go call an ambulance."
Hannibal ducked into a nearby shop and managed to coax the owner to allow him to use the phone. The man was jabbering about how there had been some kind of accident nearby, but Hannibal ignored him. After calling for an ambulance, he hurried back outside. By now, Face had managed to staunch the bleeding but Murdock hadn't regained consciousness yet. Hannibal checked his pulse and his breathing. B.A. was still working on keeping curious on lookers back.
"How long has he been out, Face?" Hannibal asked.
"Ten minutes."
The ambulance came then and Hannibal filled the medics in on what had happened. One of them jotted down some notes regarding Murdock's medical history, and asked some questions.
"We'll take him to Mercy General on 5th and Main." he said, and gave Hannibal directions.
They all watched as Murdock was loaded onto a gurney and placed in the back of the ambulance. Face volunteered to ride with Murdock to the hospital , leaving Hannibal and B.A. to follow in the van.
The drive took forever and Face was on edge the entire time. He couldn't stop replaying the scene of Murdock hitting the ground in his mind. Murdock still hadn't regained consciousness when they finally reached the hospital. The men were all ushered into a waiting room in the emergency department. Half an hour later, a doctor came in to see them.
"''How is he?" Hannibal asked, quickly.
"Murdock has regained consciousness, but I was unable to give him a thorough examination. He became very agitated and distressed, so we gave him a mild sedative. He's resting quietly now."
Hannibal nodded, "So he's stable for now."
"Yes, hopefully in the morning I will be able to assess his condition more thoroughly. I will know more then."
"Thank you, Doctor."
Hannibal shook hands with him and the doctor left the room. B.A. finally spoke up.
"What do we do now, Hannibal?"
"Wait, B.A. We wait."