A/N: I'm no psychologist; I've never even spoken with one (Not that I think there's anything wrong with them). I don't know much if anything about psychology if any of it is wrong or unbelievable I'm sorry. I tried to do some research but I'm not very good at that kind of thing.

I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding on to everything I know
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help
"S.O.S."
GOOD CHARLOTTE

The next morning when John began to wake up he knew immediately he was in the infirmary, he would know the sounds and smells of that place anywhere, he might not always know how he ended up there, but he definitely knew when he was there. As John's sleep fogged mind began to clear more he realized he wasn't alone, somebody else was sitting next to him on the bed.

Looking up John found himself staring straight into Elizabeth's eyes. John realized in that moment that he'd never noticed how mesmerizing the greenish color of Elizabeth's eyes could be before. It was kind of cute he thought. Mentally shaking his head John quickly steered his thoughts away from that avenue of thought.

"Good you're awake. How're you feeling?" John heard Elizabeth speaking but wasn't really paying attention; he was trying to figure out what she was doing there.

"Why are you still here?" John ignored Elizabeth's question. John remembered what Elizabeth had said out on the balcony about helping him, but he hadn't actually expected her to stick around and go through with it.

"I meant it yesterday when I told you I going to help you through what ever it is you're going through. Now will you please answer my question, how are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a semi-truck with a full load." Elizabeth couldn't help smiling, it was such a John response and it gave her hope. If John could sit around making jokes and wise cracks it meant there was still hope for him.

"I'm sure Carson can give you something for that, but first you have a visitor that would like to speak with you."

"The head doc?"

"Yes. Now I'll be right back and you'd better be here when I get back. No trying to escape."

"Yes ma'am." John gave Elizabeth a sloppy mock salute as she walked away.

Elizabeth was only gone for about five minutes before she reappeared with Carson and whom John assumed was Dr. Kate Heightmeyer in tow. While Carson gave John a quick look over Kate pulled up one of the various visitor's chairs that were around the infirmary and Elizabeth resumed her seat on the bed next to John. Finished with what he was doing Carson left the three alone.

"Hello John." Kate spoke after a moment. "Is it all right that I call you John? I know some people can be a little hesitant about a first name bases with their psychologist."

"Sure, why not? It was my name last I checked."

"Thank you, and you can feel free to call me Kate or Dr. Heightmeyer which ever you'd prefer."

"I think I'll leave and let you two talk." Elizabeth, thinking it was probably best to leave the two alone to talk, was about to leave when she felt John's grip on her hand tighten.

"John do you want Dr. Weir to stay?" The way John had Elizabeth's hand in a death grip hadn't gone unnoticed by Kate.

"Yeah…I…I mean…if…if that's ok." John, looking at Kate, stammered, and then turned his gaze towards Elizabeth. "But…but if you have… something else…to do…something more important…or if you don't…"

"John, of course I'll stay. I'll stay as long as you want me to, I said I'd help you through this and I mean it." Elizabeth stopped John from rambling on. It was a little disconcerting for Elizabeth; she'd never seen John this nervous and unsure of things before.

It was several minutes before anyone spoke again. Kate had learned that to a certain point it worked best to let the patient start and therefore lead the conversation in the direction they felt like taking it, it gave them a sense of control over things.

Elizabeth stayed silent as well, she may not have known anything about psychology aside from some basic things, but she, like Kate, knew it was probably best to let John set in motion and direct the conversation. Besides she was there to offer support to John and she didn't need to speak to do that.

John wasn't speaking because he was busy trying to think of away to bust himself out of the infirmary with the least amount of punishment to himself when he was finally caught. He was always caught in the end, it was never a matter of if, but when and John accepted that, not that he was ever happy about it.

"I want out of here, out of the infirmary." John, sitting up slightly, broke the silence. He figured what the heck, it couldn't hurt to use the direct approach.

"Do you really think that's such a good idea, John?" Kate replied in a gentle caring tone of voice.

"Yes, yes I do. I don't like being here, never have, never will." John was beginning to get tense and frustrated with this whole thing. He didn't need to be in the infirmary and he definitely didn't need therapy, he just wanted to be left alone. What had he been thinking agreeing to this?

"I figured as much from all the times you've tried escaping before you were officially released." Kate placed a reassuring hand on John's arm. "But John I really do honestly think this is the best place for you to be right now."

"You can't keep me here forever, you know? Plus how do plan on explaining me being in here after I just got released?"

"Easy, as far as anyone's concerned you're in here because despite Carson's best efforts you side wound developed a minor infection that needs to be taken care of." Elizabeth took the liberty of answering John this time.

"How about I make you a deal?" Kate offered, seeing the desolate look in John's eyes. "For the next few days you stay here in the infirmary and behave yourself, doing what the medical staff and I tell you, and we'll see about releasing you to your quarters. Sound like a deal?"

"Not like I have much of a choice." John sunk back into his pillow, feeling miserable about everything.

"John look at me." Kate gently tightened her hold on John's arm, waiting till he was looking her straight in the eyes. "You always have a choice. I know it may not seem like it now because of you're depression, but you do have a choice. Always."

"Now wait a minute I'm not…"

"John listen to me when I say depression is not a character flaw, nor is it simply feeling blue for a few days. Most importantly, depression is not your fault. It is a serious mood disorder that affects a person's ability to function in every day activities. It affects one's work, one's family, and one's social life, but it is treatable with time."

"I know that but I still don't think that I'm…depressed." John spit the word depressed out venomously.

"If you're not depressed then what was yesterday all about?" Elizabeth cut in before John could really get started arguing with Kate. Elizabeth knew how stubborn John could be once he'd made up his mind.

"Ok fine maybe I am a little bit depressed." John conceded. If Elizabeth thought he was depressed them maybe he was in some way.

"Alright John I think that's enough for now. You get some rest and we'll talk later." Kate patted John's arm lightly then left.

Once Kate was gone Elizabeth, with a look somewhere between humorous and disbelief on her face, swatted John's shoulder a couple of times.

"Wha…hey no beating on the crazy man!" John playfully batted Elizabeth's hand away, a small cheeky grin on his face.

"Ok one you're not crazy, a little cracked maybe yes, but crazy no. And two you think you could have been any less cooperative?"

"Oh come on you know as well as I do if I hadn't acted the way I had, you'd be twice as worried about as you are now."

"Possibly yes, but seriously John, Kate's here to help it's her job so let her do it please for me."

"Yeah I know but…it's just…I…it's…but I…I just…"

"I know, I know."

True to her word Kate, with Carson's approval, let John leave the infirmary and return to his room after a few days. Arriving in his room John was surprised to find that someone had cleaned it up, the last time he'd seen it, it looked like a tornado had passed through.

"You like what I did with the place?" Hearing Elizabeth's voice coming from behind him startled John slightly.

"Have you taken to theft in your off hours? Because some of my things seem to be missing." John had started to pace around his room taking a mental inventory of what exactly was there and what was missing.

Not a whole lot was missing just mostly breakable things like his picture frames (although he did note that the pictures that had been in the frames had been taken out and taped to the walls) what had been left of his mirror, a few little knick-knacks here and there and last the hand gun he always kept in his nightstand drawer.

"Kate and I went through here the other day cleaning the place up and …"

"Decided to take away anything I could hurt myself with." John stopped his pacing and stood looking out his window at the ocean.

"Just as a safety precaution John." Elizabeth moved over next to John by the window and gently wrapped one arm around his waist. "Believe it or not we're doing this because we care."

"Yeah I know. I may not like it but I know and whether or not I show it, I do appreciate it." John put his arm around Elizabeth's shoulders and pulled in to a half hug. "I just hate being in this whole situation. I want my life back to normal…or at least as normal as it can get living in another galaxy."

"And it will, but its not gonna happen over night, just give it some time."

Don't give up fighting 'til nothing else stands in your way.
Don't give up talking until there's nothing left to say
But no matter what you do.
Don't ever compromise what you believe.
"Losing Streak"
ATARIS