THE CIRCLE

Author: Enn-Enn

Summary: .....The pain awaits you, and the fear bites with strange sweetness at your beautiful neck.

Pairings: Spike/Dawn-friendship (just for now, something more later)

Rating: PG-13( I suppose )

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I am just a poor little guy!

Time-line: AU Post-Chosen. Dawn is working in Wolfram & Hart, but she has a secret agenda...

A/N #1: Thanks to Eurothrashed for her fantastic beta-work !!

A/N #2: Thanks to Michelle R., Claire Sterling , Darkest-secret, SamieShalla , Alianora Serein, Russ, and Goldenswimmer15 for thefeedback in my fics!!

:D

:: hugs you all ::

Please read and review ! :)

CHAPTER 3 – THE TRUTH

You discovered it that night, that they sent you, the Key, in the form of a human - in the form a sister.

"Hmmm, I guess that's you, Nibblet."

You.

At the end, it is all the same, the same circle.

At the end, you are sitting on the floor in a dark room side by side with him, your hip touching his. The candlelight flickers. Twilight surrounds you. You are so close, in an intimate moment, with the book in hand, and a mission to accomplish. But no, it isn't an intimate moment; it's only the same moment repeating itself.

You can feel the finality hanging over your head, hear the ticking of time, and feel the beating of your heart racing as you search through the book's forbidden pages.

The truth.

You have had this feeling before (four years ago), and you have it now.

It's in your stomach, creeping up your throat, solidifying in a knot - anticipation and fear, real nauseating, eternal fear. Is this what you heard one of the Watchers call 'existential experience'? Is this the same thing? You don't know; but, than again, you don't really care. You just feel it, and that is enough for you.

Feelings. Human feelings.

Fear and excitement? Fear and lust? What is wrong with you? Okay, you're alone with him, in a dark room, just like in the beginning of your never-ending-barely-there-born-again crush... (Crush or is it love?)

Love? No way. No way... leave me alone, please, god or goddess or Powers or Partners or whatever is watching and laughing at me now.

You are alone with him, like four years ago that night in the Magic Box, when you discovered...

Oh god. It's here. It's in the book - on this page.

You finally found the page. Finally, all the training with the Watchers, the long the trip to LA (to find Spike again) will be worth it. You fell into his arms crying like the baby you still are. You cried because he is alive and kicking and smirking and stroking your hair while you're in his lap mumbling about the six horrible months after Sunnydale fell, after he fell...

All of it will be worth it, even the boring-as-hell work you do for Wolfram and Hart...

All these things have a meaning now. In this secret room, inside the depths of this evil law-firm, inside this dusty book of prophecies, on this yellowed page, written in an ancient language that you, and maybe 3 other people (and a bleach blonde vampire) in the world know, is the paragraph that holds all your answers.

Fear. Anticipation. Terror. Anxiety.

His hand is in yours.

Calm. Peace. Faith.

His eyes on you.

Blue. Hope. Love.

You both read the paragraph together, and you both understand the meaning.

Suddenly you feel nothing.

Not hope. Not fear. Not anguish.

Not terror or faith.

Not love or even lust.

Because it must be true, because this paragraph must be true and you believe each one of its words.

You feel nothing.

Because you don't have a soul.

TBC