AN: to des06, some feedback. Yes, I am American, and though it's been a while since I did the whole apply to college thing, I have been through it. I did check up on deadlines for early admissions to schools (as i never did that myself), and they are in rough agreement with my story in a general time frame (Each school is different). Jane lives on the west coast, and needs to visit the east coast schools to see which one she likes the best. That's not unusual. I never said their deadline for responding to offers, if you read the chapter. I just introduced whom the girls had heard from thus far. In this story. For plot purposes. Also, if you watch the Thanksgiving episode from season three, you will see that at the elder Gilmore's dinner, Rory is engaged in conversation with an older couple whose grandson had been denied early admission to Stanford—before Thanksgiving. So, let's keep this in mind—it's all fiction. Loosely based on reality. If they can be inconsistent on the show, well, then as I'm going off of that originally, forgive me. On with the story, sorry about the long AN and rant.
Will reached Anna's apartment in just under two hours. He'd been there earlier in the semester, visiting with Dave, thankfully. He ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. Sarah opened the door, looking grateful to see him.
"Thank you so much for coming! I'm sorry to call you out of the blue like that, but I remembered you calling earlier in the week, and you sounded so concerned about her then—I just figured you might know what was going on. She's been in her room for two days. The first day, I thought she was just having a down day, you know? But the second day, well, I just got worried. I called her parents, but no one has called me back. So, I looked up your number in her cell."
Will nodded. "It's no problem, I'm glad you called. Has she said anything to you?"
"No, just to leave her alone."
"I'm going to go try to talk to her. I'll call her brother and parents again after that, okay?"
"You know what's wrong with her?"
Will nodded, taking a deep breath before heading to her room. He knocked gently.
"Go away!" came the response.
"Ann, it's me, I'm coming in," he warned her, opening the door. She was lying on her side, curled up in a ball under the covers. She didn't move upon his entrance, and he moved to kneel next to the bed.
"Ann, come on, it's me."
"What are you doing here?" she asked, still facing away from him.
"Sarah called me, you've got her worried. She called your folks, too," he informed her.
Anna turned to face him, horror-stricken. "She didn't."
"She couldn't get a hold of them. I'm guessing your dad accidentally deleted the message when trying to play it back—he never did learn how to use that thing, did he?"
Anna didn't smile at Will's teasing comment, but shook her head. "I hope you're right. I can't see them."
"Tell me what's happening."
"I was fine, I really was. I came back, I was going to classes. Then I had to go to the library, for some research materials. I was on my way home, and all of a sudden, I just couldn't breathe. I don't even remember walking home. . . I just lost it, Will. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, I just," she broke down into tears all over again, and from her tear-stained face it was apparent to him that this was nothing new over the last couple of days.
"Ann, I know you don't want to, but I really think it's time to go see someone, a counselor or a nurse at the campus clinic—someone."
She looked into his eyes and shook her head. "I already saw the doctor, they did an exam," she reminded him.
"You need someone to talk to about the repercussions of the rape, not just a physical exam. I'm here for you, anytime, but I've never been in that situation. Maybe they could refer you to some sort of support group or something."
"No, I'd have to talk about it, and I just can't."
He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. He wasn't surprised that she was resisting help. She'd always been very independent, but now it was clear that she needed to reach out. He was determined to make sure she did just that.
&&&&
He knocked on the front door, praying not to see either of his in-laws. She might answer the door, as it was late and she wouldn't expect him to show up. Rubbing his hands together to warm them from the cold Boston winter air, he waited as he saw the hall light flip on.
She definitely looked surprised to say the least. She stood there, mouth gaping, in the doorway.
"Can I come in?"
"Jess," Erin started, but moved back to allow her husband in from the cold.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, after closing the door and following him into the living room.
He took off his jacket and slung it over her mother's couch, out of habit to annoy the older woman. She was a big fan of order and frilly décor. Imposing disorder in her house made his stay just that much more enjoyable most of the time.
"I came to talk. To figure this out," he said honestly.
"Jess, I'm sorry I took off like that. I assume you got my letter?"
He nodded. "Jules and Ambrose deserved more than that. I deserved more than that."
"I know, I'm sorry," she said, hanging her head. "I didn't know what else to do."
"Do you really think I would leave you for Rory?" he asked, needing to know.
"No, I don't."
He swallowed hard. "Are you in love with this guy?"
She shook her head, looking up at Jess. "No, I'm not."
"Did you sleep with him?"
"No!"
"Kiss him? Date him?"
"NO! He's just a friend that I got close with, working with him. He told me he was falling in love with me before he left, then he called with this great job offer. It made me feel important and wanted," she explained.
"I don't make you feel that way?" he asked, her words killing him.
"You used to, I mean, over the years, I guess I've just started to feel more like someone's mother than the woman you married," she said, her eyes filled with tears.
"Erin, I love you. There hasn't even been a woman I've even looked twice at since we've been together. Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling?"
"I felt foolish, I guess. I mean, what was I supposed to say? I asked you to get away with me, but you kept telling me how busy we were, with the kids' stuff and work," she explained. "Then the job offer came, and I just snapped. I wanted it for me. I didn't want to leave you, I love you. I love our kids, and our life. It just all got out of control."
Jess rubbed his temples. He wasn't quite sure what to make of the situation, but he was trying his best to remain calm. She obviously wasn't in the most stable of places, and he desperately didn't want to wake up his in-laws.
"Erin, everyone feels lost in the shuffle at some point. No one in our family thinks you as unimportant. I need you, not only because of the kids, but because I love you."
She nodded, moving closer to him, but he didn't reach out for her. Obviously his speech wasn't over.
"But no matter how lost or doubtful I've ever felt, I would have never did what you've done! Do you have any idea what this is doing to our kids? Not only is their mother vanishing with no explanation, or even a phone call I might add, but I have to cart them off to Rory's while I go chasing after you?"
"Jess," she pleaded for him to stop and listen, but he wouldn't. She'd had her turn to talk.
"How selfish have you become? You aren't the woman I married, not right now. I haven't been able to recognize you at all for the last three months. I came here to figure this out between us, but right now, I just have no more words."
He turned and grabbed his coat, and let himself back out into the cold. She stood there, tears streaming down her face.
&&&&
"So, you're coming back next weekend?"
"Yeah. Mom just informed me that I have to go with some daughter of her college roommate, around to college campuses."
"Oh. So, you won't be around?" Billy's voice was laced with disappointment.
"Well, I was thinking, you could come with. We need to hit the biggies."
"Your fancy Ivy League schools?"
"Those would be them."
"So, colleges I have no hope of getting into?"
"You don't know that."
"I do know that. You've obviously never seen my GPA."
"Well, you can come and hang out with me, anyway."
"I suppose I can swing that."
"Really?" Ella asked excitedly.
"Yeah, really."
There was a brief pause, and both thought of the possibilities of a weekend away together. Granted, they'd be traveling with Jane, but a road trip away from their parents sounded like a step in the positive direction.
"So, where do you want to go?" he ventured into unspoken territory: the unknown of next year. They weren't even officially dating, as they hadn't been out on a real date. They'd just shared a number of amazing kisses. And lots of phone time.
"I'm not sure. I'm thinking either Yale or Sarah Lawrence, though."
"You got into both already?"
"I would have had to have made pictures with the fill-in bubbles on my SAT's to not get into Yale. My great-grandfathers went there, my grandfather went there and both my parents. And they all donate money. They sort of have to take me at this rate. But I'm still waiting on Sarah Lawrence."
"Wow. I think I have those sort of connections with Hartford Community College," he joked.
"You're smart," she encouraged.
"I'm smart about different things."
"Where are you going to school?"
"Well, for those of us not in the early rush, I'm sort of still deciding where to apply. Mostly I'm collecting applications for state schools, though."
"There's nothing wrong with state schools."
"And my SAT scores came back looking like I had made those pictures," he informed her.
"So, take them again. It's not too late."
"It's okay. Look, it's late, I should go. I'll talk to you later, though, right?"
"Right," she said, wondering if she'd said something to upset him.
"Night."
"Night." She hung up and walked back into the living room, where everyone else was held enraptured by E.T. Her mother had the box of Kleenex at the ready, as Rory tended to cry throughout the whole movie in anticipation of the end. Jules held up the corner of the blanket she was sitting under, to let Ella slide under it with her. She did just that, trying to put her phone conversation out of her head.