Charlie: Fear me!

Erk: ...okay, so you finally did your homework.

Charlie: Yeah, I was slacking off a teensy too much.

Erk: ...you almost ate two zeros and failed a test.

Charlie: ALMOST...

Erk: Lucky bastard...

Charlie: MUAHAHAH!! And I finally got a Halo muse...

Erk: Who?

Charlie: Meet Guilty Spark!

343 Guilty Spark: Greetings.

Erk: ...HIM?!

Charlie: What's wrong with him?

Erk: HE'S A PROTOCOL CRAZY LITTLE FLOATING DROID!

Charlie: ...and what's wrong with that?

Erk: Nevermind.

Charlie: Thank you, anyways, enjoy the thrid chapter.

Guilty Spark: And protocol insists that Charlie is not the owner of the establishment of Halo.

Erk: ...whatever the hell that is.

Charlie: ...anyways, there are a few parts in here that are in script form. Yes, I am acknologing that I am breaking one of 's most retarded rules. The reason that I need that part in script format is because it is a flash back, and unless it's a really long one, writing it in story format just feels very awkward. There are only a few points in here that are script, like around 15 lines. So if you're like completely grossed out and revolted by even one line of script and think any writer who does it should be thrown into jail to rot, don't read this chapter, but otherwise, just bear with it.

Erk: I noticed that was long...meh, whatever.

 Johnson and Smith were serving their detention with Charlie in recon duty. Emily was pissed at the pair for disobeying orders, but she was too spent to torture them, so the pair got off easy. To the privates, Charlie was a considerably less brutal instructor than Emily, just as long as you don't try to start false rumors about him. Johnson and Smith were actually quite happy they got detention with him. Charlie let them use the sniper rifles. The trio stood on top of a ledge overlooking Red base. All three sported unloaded Sniper Rifles and spyed on the Red base using the sniper scopes, looking for anything interesting.

--

Patric wore a very nasty expression when he returned to base. All the rookies knew that he was in a bad mood. They all feared what may await them in their latest training session.

The red privates all assembled in the main lobby of Red base and were prepared for the worst. Minutes later, Patric stormed into the lobby and stomped up in front of everyone.

"Alright chicken nuggets, I'm pissed today, so one peep from you guys and you'll die."

The privates all recoiled in fear, none bold enough to make a sound.

"Okay, today, I will teach you about the enemy, or more specifically, the one person on the blue team to beware."

Patric turned to a small pull down poster pinned onto the wall. "Gentlemen," He said as he pulled down the poster. "Look into the face of EVIL!"

The rookies cringed, expecting to see a face more hideous than that of a ogre. But instead, the poster showed a picture of a stunningly beautiful young woman.

Patric felt his anger rise as he saw his privates drool at the picture of the enemy. He decided to take some action. Pulling out his pistol, he shot the nearest newbie, and immediately, the rest of the rookies fell silent in fear.

"...You guys think this is funny huh? Well I'll tell you, the blue sargent is the deadliest soldier in this canyon. She could nail one of you noobs in her SLEEP!"

"I'd like to nail her..." snickered one of the privates. Patric immediately rewarded his remark with a bullet hole in the head.

"Anyone else infatuated with the enemy?" Patric asked. The stunned rookies all shook their heads rigorously. Their commanding officer seemed serious about this.

"Good, now then, lets move on to gun control." Patric continued. "Who here knows how to dodge a bullet?"

The privates all shook their heads. Patric smiled and pulled out an assult rifle. "You better learn fast." He chuckled before spraying bullets into his privates.

--

Smith and Johnson gasped at the gruesome spectacle unfolding inside of the Red base.

"...Sir?" Smith asked turning towards Charlie.

"Yes?"

"...What's Patric's rank in the Red army?"

"Corporal." Charlie replied calmly.

Johnson and Smith exchanged confused glances. "Don't they have a sargent like Emily to keep him in control?" Johnson asked.

"Well..." Charlie considered for a moment. "They do have a captain, but we never see him. The last time I saw him was during the Fourth of July fireworks."

Smith and Johnson suddenly forgot the massacre in the Red base and looked at Charlie excitedly. "Cool! We get fireworks? How do we make them?"

"We don't." Charlie said. "Patric does."

"How does he make them?" Johnson asked curiously.

Charlie got a far off look in his eye...

-FLASHBACK-

Patric: -stuffing a Red newbie into a rocket launcher- Don't worry, it'll be absolutely safe.

Red rookie: You sure?

Patric: Well, for me it will.

Red rookie: WHAT ABOUT ME?!

Patric: Ahh don't worry. You'll be providing entertainment to people, namely me, at a high price: your life!

Red rookie: WHAT?!

Patric: Yes, it's a high price, but I'll manage.

Red rookie: BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE BLOWN UP!!!

Patric: -Adjusts a plasma grenade and slaps it onto Red rookie's chest- EXACTLY! Have fun in the afterlife! -launches the rocket-

Red rookie: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! -flies up and blows up-

Patric: That was fun... -turns towards the rest of his terrified newbies- So who's next?

-END FLASHBACK-

"Uhh," Charlie said uneasily. "You're better off not knowing."

Smith and Johnson gulped, knowing that anything could be possible in Blood Gulch. The held their tongue. After watching Patric kill all of his rookies, Charlie decided to call it a day. He told Smith and Johnson to fall in and follow him back to base. On the way back, Smith raised another curious question.

"Say Charlie..."

"Yes?"

"What exactly is Patric's job on Blood Gulch?"

"Well," Charlie began. "His job is more or less 'kill all newbies in Blood Gulch.'"

"But why does he kill his own newbies?" Smith asked.

"Because," Charlie continued. "He doesn't distinguish between Red or Blue newbies, he just kills all newbies in sight."

Smith and Johnson shuddered, but they felt relieved that they were on the Blue team instead.

"What about Emily?" Johnson asked.

"Well," Charlie said nerviously. "Don't tell her, but to me, she's just like Patric, only she can resist the urge to teamkill a bit better than he can."

Smith and Johnson gulped. "...how much better is a little bit better?"

Charlie shook his head sadly. "Not much, but she's getting better. She hasn't killed a single rookie in the last shipment."

"Really? That's a relief." Johnson relaxed a bit. "Why didn't she?"

Charlie shook his head again. "They were all killed by Pat three hours after landing."

Smith and Johnson gulped once again. "Whoa...how?"

Charlie chuckled a little. "It's a long story..." He said looking at his watch. "But we have a bit of time."

So Charlie took the two privates into a safe location and began his story.

"It was quite an incident you see. The last batch of privates we had were very enthusiastic about following commands. They'd do everything Emily and I ordered them to; I wouldn't be surprised if they would shoot themselves if we required it, but anyways, since the rookies were so good at following orders, Emily decided to teach them how to drive a jeep first. At first, the lesson worked well. The rookies had the jeep going and they drove it quite well, until Patric intervened. He tricked the three rookies who were driving the jeep into thinking that he was a Blue officer. Since Patric doesn't wear standard Red armor, the rookies believed him. So Patric managed to trick them into parking on top of a pile of grenades. Then he pulled out another one and pulled the pin. The resulting explosion killed the three rookies in the jeep and launched the jeep into the air. Unfortunately, the trejectory of the jeep was very fortunate for Patric and it headed straight for where other privates were resting. I tried to yell 'TAKE COVER!!!', but it was too late and the jeep landed square on the rest of the privates, crushing them all. It was quite a day for Patric, but poor Emily lost her lieutenant's bar."

Charlie finished his story and laughed a bit. "It was embarrassing guys, but me and Emily try to learn from our mistakes. Anyways, we should head back to base. It's getting late."

Smith and Johnson nodded. The story scared them, and both privates made a mental note never to listen to strange people.

--

Patric finished buring all of his privates. He smiled for the first time since Emily chased him away. The killing spree he had raised his spirits a lot. He then slowly walked back towards base. As he arrived, he saw another Red team dropship arrive. Patric chuckled. He was notorious within Red command for being the most efficient rookie killer. Red base on Blood Gulch was where Red command sent all their rejects for "processing," and Patric was the "processor."

He put on a fake smile as he greeted the new rejects. Patric took care to wash the lobby of Red base so the facility was squeaky clean But as the last rookie got off the dropship, Patric did a double take. The man looked almost exactly like his old high school buddy: short, glasses, walking with a book, he fit all the descriptions.

"Chris?!" He asked incredulously.

The man did not even look up from his book and absent-mindedly answered him. "Yeah, yeah Patric, hang on...wait...Patric?!"

The short private looked up and he too did a double take.

"HEY PATRIC! How's it been?!"

Patric slapped his forehead. "Ugh, great. Now I can't kill you."

"Kill me? What?"

"..." Patric was at a loss for words. His friend didn't even seem to know where the hell he was. "Tell me Chris, why are you here?"

"Huh? Oh I got caught in the draft and yeah, got sent here. But hey! At least I get to be with you! So tell me, who's in charge here?"

"...me..." Patric sighed.

"You?! HEY! That means I don't have to do anything! All right!"

Patric slapped his forehead again. But he expected this from Chris, he was never the army type of guy. Patric turned towards the rest of the noobies and told them to go find a bunk and stay there for until further notice. After the rest of the rookies were gone, he turned back towards Chris.

"Tell me Chris," He asked methodically. "Can you shoot a gun?"

"I can try!" The rookie replied. Patric handed Chris his pistol and backed far away from him. Chris aimed, and pulled a trigger. After the shot hit the mark, Patric walked back to Chris and yanked the pistol away from him.

"Okay...I have no idea how you managed to shoot the rock BEHIND you, but it's obvious you can't use a gun...so can you drive a marine jeep?"

"Umm, nope." Chris replied sheepishly.

"Snipe?"

"Nope."

"...what CAN you do?"

"I can read books, play games and be lazy."

"Sweet! Then I got the perfect job for you!"

Then Patric placed a friendly arm around him and led him back into base. "Ever been a supply sargent?"

"Nope."

"Well, you'll be perfect at it!" Patric explained while the pair walked into base.

--

Private Johnson was atop the Blue base overlooking the terrain after his lunch. He had his sniper scope out so he got a nice view of the canyon. But as his sights moved over Red base, what he saw shocked him beyond his imagination.

"SARGENT! CORPORAL! COME QUICKLY! YOU TWO WON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Johnson yelled into the base.

The two trainers nearly killed themselves getting to the top of the base.

"You better not be kidding private." Emily growled.

Johnson flinched slightly but continued on. "It's Patric! He's actually being nice to a rookie!"

Charlie and Emily exchanged glances and began to laugh out loud.

"AHAHAHAH!!! Oh that's a good one private. But seriously, what's up?"

"IT'S TRUE! LOOK!" Johnson yelled while thrusting the rifle into Emily's hands.

Emily looked skeptically at Johnson. "You better be right." She warned before looking into the sniper scope. When she fixed the sight onto the Red base, she almost choked. There he was, the most feared man in the canyon, treating a rookie like a good friend. "Holy...pinch me Charlie."

The corporal looked at her incredulously. "You've gotta be kidding me. Lemme see." He said before talking the sniper rifle and looking into the scope.

"...Oh...my god..." He said as he saw the same sight the previous two saw. But then as he took a closer look, he almost fainted.

"Holy crap, Chris?!"

Emily and Johnson looked at him. "You know him?"

"Yeah, he hung out with me and Patric during high school."

Emily nodded calmly, but Johnson did a double take. "Wait, you and Patric were buddies?" He asked the corporal

"Yeah."

Johnson took a step back. "...you're not like a red spy are you?"

Charlie and Emily chuckled. Unknown to most of the privates, Charlie, Emily and Patric went to the same high school and played in the marching band together. Emily was even Charlie's section leader there for two years. Emily knew explaining to the rookies would be a long and arduous task, so she decided to keep that little detail a secret.

"Look Johnson." Emily explained. "We all went to the same high school, but Patric just volunteered for a different army than we did."

Johnson seemed to get more and more confused by the second. Charlie smiled at him and told him not to worry about it.

"It's okay man," He assured him. "Don't think about it too much. Go get some rest, remember we have a sneak raid tomorrow."

Johnson nodded, but he still walked around Charlie cautiously. Charlie and Emily chuckled again and walked back into Blue base. Emily went to bed immediately; she was quite tired from her work, but Charlie needed some fresh air. So he walked out the back door to catch a breeze. Outside, he found Mickey standing over Emily's koi pond.

"Wow! I never knew we had a pond back here! It even has fishies!" Mickey exclaimed seeing Charlie walk out.

Charlie walked up to Mickey and grabbed him by the arm. "You might want to get away from the pond." He warned. "It's Emily's little secret."

"But I want to feed the fish!" Mickey continued ignoring Charlie and pulling out some bread. As he tossed the bread into the water, a strong jaw clentched onto his arm and ripped it loose from the socket. "HOLY SHIT!" Mickey screamed as he staggered away. His exclaimation woke up Johnson and Smith who's rooms were closest to the back. The ran out and nearly puked when they saw Mickey. "WHAT HAPPENED?!" The screamed.

"There's...there are killer fish in the damn pond!" Mickey yelled before stomping back to the pond, with flame in his eyes.

Charlie looked very alarmed. "No don't. If the fish don't kill you, Emily will! She loves her koi!"

Mickey paid no attention to Charlie as he pulled out his rifle and shot the water. Suddenly, a huge wave crashed into Mickey and swept him into the water. Johnson and Smith looked on in horror as screams of agony emitted from the pond and the watered turned scarlet.

"...Poor Mickey. Guys, stay away from the pond. The koi developed a taste for human flesh ever since Pat began to dump bodies of noobs in here. You guys are looking at the only creatures in this canyon with a higher body count than Emily and Patric combined." Charlie warned

Johnson and Smith shuddered before racing inside and dashing to the bathrooms. The two felt sick to their stomachs at the gruesome spetacle they just witnessed.

Charlie looked again at the scarlet water. The koi looked beautiful, but he long knew that the more beautiful something is, the more deadly it is. He shuddered and decided to hit the hay. After all, there was a raid the next day, and he didn't want to miss that.

Charlie: Okay, so that wasn't the best chapter, but the next one'll be better. It's the Thanksgiving special. It'll be long too, so hopefully it'll make up for the wait.

Erk: Uh huh.

Charlie: Damn it, where's 343?

Erk: He died.

Charlie: ...#(&$($!!!

Erk: Language boy...

Charlie: Whatever. Anyways, review guys. I'm planning to have two static rookies on both teams in addition to Emily, Charlie and Patric.

Erk: Yeah, that's because two are your friends and you got attatched to Smith and Johnson.

Charlie: Shut up Erk. Review guys!