Ok, I got a really bad review on this story, and I'm pretty sure I know who did it, I won't say any names though. Here is my response to every 'problem' in my story.
1.
always start a new
paragraph when another character starts speaking! Its basic grammar,
and it doesn't put people off reading it.
answer- Well, fyi,
that's not what I was taught in school, I was taught that you only
start a new paragraph when something new happens, so sorry for doing
what I was taught
2. Okay, after Trunks met Goten and ran away. We could of had a little bit of Trunks getting to know and worry and think about what Goten said. He didn't it moved to him dying there and Goten said "I warned you Trunks". I was laughing because it was pointless! Becuase we did not get to know how Trunks felt!
answer- It would have nothing to do with the main point of the story, the main point of the story is that abuse happens and that it needs to be stopped
3. The song, you could of AT LEAST change the "she's" to "he".
answer- In case you forgot to read the summary, I wrote that some of the song might not make sense and that you needed to use your imagination, I have no copyrights to change this song.
4.
The ending sucked, what Trunks thought, it didn't give across the
message of child abuse. It was pathetic, and really silly to what was
going on through him.
answer- I was doing my own version of the
music video, if you didn't like it, complain to the people who wrote
the idea for the music video, not me.
5. Trunks Brief - 1995 - 2002? ...you should of put his actual birthdate in there.
answer- once again, part of the music video, that was the year on the gravestone in the music video, plus, how the hell should I know his real birthday?
As you can see, I have answers to all your complaints, and I laugh at them. This is my first flamer ever, can you believe it?