Mia-chan: It's been what, a year?
MK: I am BaCk On TrAcK with the Golden Sun stuff...let's see if anyone will review...
Ivan-chan: Plus, you're sick and bored out of your mind.
MK: DISCLAIMER!
Every1: MK doesn't own Golden Sun. If she did, she would rule the world.
HaPpY vAlEnTiNeS dAy!
Chapter 1: Garet Drops His Ring (The Engagement Part 1)
Kill the little bunny Drop it on the head Use it as a bowling ball And watch it become dead
Sure, it was a morbid tune. A nasty little jingle that was a half an inch close to being pure evil towards innocent animals. But dammit, it was stuck in Garet's head. He had heard it from Felix who had heard it from Alex who had heard it from Saturous who had heard it from a crazy old man in Prox who was convinced that raisins wanted to overrule Weyard and had stared a defense line of chickens to protect his prized (yet frozen) cucumber garden. Garet detested the song with a fiery passion. His girlfriend hated it. His best friend hated it. His parents hated it. His great-uncle Billy's poinsettia plant hated it. But the mad tune would not extract itself from the Mars adept's brain.
Kill the little bunny Stuff it in a hose Pop it in the microwave and watch as it explodes
Oh damn. If he got caught singing that song, Garet would be screwed. Especially if he got caught by his girlfriend. She was insane about stuff like that. The town of Vale still fearfully remembered the day little Jimmy from down the road tested the girl's patience by singing Mary Had A Little Lamb 47 consecutive times in a row. Poor Jimmy still had not climbed out of that old oak tree, no matter how much the villagers attempted to coax him. The boy would never look at sheep the same way again, assuming that one day he would finally fall out of the tree.
The girl was a deranged whirlwind of homicidal bloodshed. She was called Hurricane Jenna.
As Garet rounded the corner, he whispered the jingle to himself and prayed that his crazy girlfriend would not hear him. He knew Jenna had overly sensitive ears and would easily horribly smite a fly two houses down if its constant buzzing irritated her. And Garet knew how Jenna's insane smiting attacks felt. He still had a nasty scar on his arm from that one time about ten years ago where he had made the mistake of holding Daphne the Dolly hostage. Dear Mars, why did he have to be in love with a maniac?
It was true. As insane and scary as Jenna was, Garet was madly head over heels for her. She was drop-dead gorgeous, with auburn hair that glided down her shoulders and soft chocolate brown eyes, she was the most beautiful – and one of the most untouchable – girls in all of Angara.
Plus, she was caring, sweet, funny, and romantic…when she wasn't about to slice of your head.
Garet loved her. He had loved her ever since he was a little boy and had first moved to Vale from Tolibi. The moment he saw her, he fell in love. After a full 12 years and a quest to save the world, he had mustered up enough courage to tell Jenna what he felt, and had woken up about four days later to hear she returned his feelings.
However, Jenna might not feel as affectionate for her boyfriend if she reduced him to a pile of ash.
The tall adept ducked around another bend, still muttering the song furiously. He saw his house up ahead – great! Garet could sneak home and hide under his bed, and if Jenna or anyone came around he could pretend he emigrated to Hesperia and moved in with the people in the Shaman Village. It was a perfect plan, the boy thought, as he rushed towards the small cottage. He was almost there…
Garet ran headfirst into another human being and was flung backwards into the dirt road.
Crash! Slam! Boom! Chingy chingy ching!
"DON'T HURT ME! PLEASE I WILL DO ANYTHING! I'M SORRY ABOUT THE BUNNY SONG! " The Mars adept screamed hysterically, positive he was about to be pummeled into a small collection of dust that could fit into his brother's back pocket along with his collection of stones that were shaped like cheese.
"Garet?"
Garet heard a voice that was not Hurricane Jenna's, and he relaxed. Looking up into the kindly eyes of a blue-haired Lemurian, he grinned sheepishly.
"Sorry…I thought you were Jenna…" He muttered, blushing a fine shade of magenta.
Picard extended a hand out to his friend and smiled. He had been one of Garet's companions during the quest to light the lighthouses and had moved to Vale after the whole mission, claiming that there was nothing left for him in his hometown of Lemuria. This move was highly appreciated by several of the girls in Vale, seeing as they swooned after him at almost every opportunity.
"Understandable. I'd be scared of her too." He laughed as Garet scrambled up from the ground and brushed off his tunic. "But why were you hiding from her? Aren't you two going out?"
"She doesn't like the bunny song."
The Lemurian automatically understood. Although he had only known Jenna and the others for a little under a year, he had heard enough tales to know of Garet's tendency to get stupid songs stuck in his otherwise empty head and had witnessed enough rampages to know of Jenna's wrath. But ultimately, he knew well of her fierce hatred of annoying little jingles, particularly ones that involved massacres of hoppity mammals by anyone besides her.
Plus, Picard knew the sad tale of poor little Jimmy from down the lane.
"Hide. I'll cover for you until you get the song out of your head." The mercury adept said hurriedly. "We don't need another incident involving that family this month, especially so soon."
Garet wholeheartedly agreed. His friend Ivan had just gotten out of his cast and begun to grow back his eyelashes after Felix clobbered him. Of course, Felix had had a very good reason to squash the little hair-dying weasel, but still…
"I'll be at my house under my bed." Garet told his friend, but Picard shook his head.
"That's too predictable, especially if you tell everyone that you've emigrated to the Shaman Village in Hesperia."
Damn, how did he do that?
"Then what do you think I should do?" The mars adept growled. He folded his arms, cross with Picard's dislike with his well-thought out plan.
"Go hide in Isaac's basement. No one goes down there except the occasional squirrel or rabbit through a window."
Garet shrieked in fury.
"AUGH! Picard, I was trying to stop thinking about bunnies! I am trying to get this song out of my head, if you haven't noticed!"
The blue-haired adept winced. "Ooh, sorry…"
But his apology was not accepted and was rather responded to with a loud, obnoxious outburst of a remarkably vulgar verse of "Kill the Little Bunny".
KILL THE LITTLE BUNNY CUT IT UP WITH GLASS FEED IT TO PIRANHAS HOPE ONE WILL BITE ITS…
"GARET! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT SINGING THAT SONG?"
Just before the brash adept could finish the last rude word of the rude verse, he received a rather unwanted reminder of Hurricane Jenna's overly sensitive ears. The adept felt his face instantly drain of all color as he slowly turned to face his girlfriend, who was charging furiously up the road towards him.
"Picard…do not say anything." He whispered, gritting his teeth. Picard didn't.
Garet managed to twist his terrified expression into what he hoped was some version of a grin, but turned out to be more of a sick grimace. Picard had only seen the expression used once before by a kid who had been bitten by a four-foot-tall giraffe with a purple porcupine on board, and that had been after that big party back home where his cousin had spiked the drinks
"Hi honey…" Garet stammered, shaking wildly in his boots. Before he could even try to attempt to sweet-talk her, Jenna had him by the ear and was yanking him down hard so they were face to face.
"What have I told you about singing those idiosyncratic songs, dear?" She said it sweetly, but Garet could feel her slim fingers winding their way around his neck.
"I would tell you but I have no idea what idiosoncratitic means…" He gasped.
"It's idiosyncratic, you stupid oaf!"
To Garet's relief, Jenna let go of his neck and threw his arms around him.
"You idiot…I love you too much to hurt you!" She cried, laughing hysterically.
This was new to all present. Garet certainly had enough bumps, bruises and scars on his body from his dear love to prove her wrong, and Picard had seen some of them planted as a witness.
Either Jenna was on something, or she had truly turned over a new leaf. Both boys were astonished.
"I love you too, Jen." Garet stuttered, tentatively hugging her back as her grasp grew tighter.
And tighter.
Suddenly Garet knew.
Hurricane Jenna was known for three things – her horrible temper, her tricky sweetness, and her famous attack.
At this very minute, she was executing the infamous Jenna Death Grip. She took the concept from snakes – squeeze squeeze squeeze. There was a numerous record of arms that had been permanently purpleified because of the vice.
"Jenna!" Garet yelled as he began to squirm against her grasp. Her innocent laughter instantly turned into a menacing giggle as she began to drag the Mars adept away.
"Picard! Help me!" Garet shrieked wildly, but his friend was too busy doubling over in laughter to help.
"Did you seriously think that I would let you off that easily?" the Lemurian heard Jenna cackle as she dragged Garet off. Soon, they were almost out of sight.
Those two, he thought. The two of them belonged in a psycho ward.
They were a great pair, though. When Jenna wasn't trying to destroy him, she actually act genuinely sweet around him, and he rarely lost his temper around her. It was so funny how Jenna was able to turn the tough (but stupid) Garet into a giant teddy bear, and it was so wonderful how much they were in love. They were so much in love, as a matter of fact, that Picard was beginning to wonder when Garet would propo…
Out of the corner of his eye, Picard saw something glimmer on the dirt road.
Bending over, he picked it up and dusted it off. After a quick study, he realized what it was.
The ring was beautiful, with a pure golden base and a shining diamond mounted finely on top. It's glitter was dazzling.
So he had finally bought the ring, Picard thought to himself. Garet must had spent a good amount of his savings on the little beauty. It was too bad – he must have dropped it when he fell.
The Mercury Adept placed the ring in his pocket and grinned to himself. HE would be sure to return the ring, and then…
They were such a cute couple. It would be nice to see them get married, and…
Suddenly he stopped short in his tracks and grimaced.
Picard did not want to see their kids.
MK: Um, this was kinda rushed towards the end…I'll have to fix it. Spare a review? Sorry it sucked…