A/N> Well we got some pretty awesome reviews so we figured we'd add another chapter to see if you have any more comments on how funny we are. Sam says : WHY DID NO ONE COMMENT ON THE PIE:P

Monica7725 -> Riley says: My ever so faithful reviewer. What would I ever do without you. Glad you liked it! And no it is not a one shot. Sam says: well we are a bit random aren't we O.o

Snowbunnies -> Riley says: Well, we can't help it if we're stupid in a funny way. Tis just the way we are! Sam says: Who knows? Maybe James does say wicked? it's a British Term... your face is! Steamed!

GinnyGin-> Riley says: looks like we're updating now doesn't it. Sam says: of course it was awesome dear

Katarina McGonagall -> riley says: Oh it's already been written steamed! Sam says: you're cute...bwar

bobkat2007 -> Riley says: looks like we're doing more by the looks of it Sam says: quick! go catch your ass! I'm quite fond of mine so I don't know what I'd do if it fell off. We did it in the Marauders Era 'cause I have a slight obsession with it and I harrassed Riley into doing it (I have her totally whipped)

bobkat2007 -> Riley says: Trust me, we have this prewritten and the classes are definately interesting. Sam says: Nobody ever expects to fall into Lemon Pie. But when it happens WHAM! you land into a magical lake just like that.

The Sorting and Classes

Students sitting at the house tables all became hushed as the long line of pale nervous first years stood anxiously awaiting their fate.

Sirius, James, Remus and Peter were all sorted into Gryffindor. The list group of student shortened and Sam and Riley stood there anxiously waiting their turn. Finally Sam was called up to the stool and she gave Riley a cheeky grin.

"Hmmm let me think. I could always put you in Slytherin, you are quite clever" it said to Sam. She looked over at the table where Snape smiled flirtatiously and blew a kiss towards her. Sam was disgusted.

Keep me away from that grease bag, Sam thought. "Ok well then Hufflepuff is always an option, but I think you would be best in … GRYFFINDOR!" Sam grinned and ran down and sat next to Sirius.

Riley's name was then called and she approached the hat nervously. "Hmmm you're a tough one. You could belong in any of the houses very easily, but I think you would get along better in … GRYFFINDOR!" Riley smiled to herself and sat down on the opposite side of Sam and was next to James who happened to be staring at Lily Evans, lovesick.

Riley rolled her eyes and as Dumbledore sat down from his speech, the feast began.

The feast passed quickly and by the end of it Riley and Sam were full and exhausted.

"Too much pie..." Sam groaned. Riley merely nodded, not having the energy to speak. They made slow progress up to the common room entrance.

"The Password is Finkus. Don't forget or you won't be able to get in to your rooms." A Prefect at the head of the crowd said. The squeezed through the crowd and into the common room.

After saying goodnight to the marauders they walked up the girl's staircase.

"Traveling through TV does a lot to a person." Sam said falling face first onto her bed." "What's a TV?" A girl with long blonde hair asked. "I'm Emily by the way." "I'm Sam." Sam said. "It's an uhh magical device of some sorts." She finished lamely.

Emily made a confused face." So anyway." Riley interrupted, changing the subject. "I'm Riley." "Nice to meet you." Emily smiled at her. Introductions were then made by the other 3 girls in the room. Dana, a short girl with light brown hair and an Irish accent, Olivia who had short black hair and was very quiet, and of course Lily.

All of the girls were tired and decided to go to bed once they were unpacked. Sam and Riley both had beds close together and stayed up late whispering about their new life at Hogwarts. They fell asleep and awoke the next morning to Emily and Dana throwing pillows around to wake everyone up.

"Breakfast starts in 15 minutes and classes start today. Come on girls wake up!" Dana shouted. Sam and Riley both groaned. They were too used to summer days where they could sleep in and wake up on time to watch Dawson's Creek.

Riley sighed and pulled herself out of bed and got dressed. Sam was back to snoring loudly and Riley laughed at her. She imitated a deep voice and went to Sam's ear. "Sam, wake up. It's Sirius. Kiss me like you've never kissed anyone else before!" Sam bolted up, eyes wide and lips puckered.

She looked around confused. "Where'd he go?" Sam asked blankly. Riley was rolling around on the floor laughing. Sam grumbled and got dressed.

The two of them went down to the common room and down to the great hall for breakfast. Riley watched as everyone ate. "I think I'm gonna be sick if I eat anything this morning" she said. Sam shook her head and agreed.

Professor McGonagall came around and handed out schedules. "First class, Potions with the Slytherins." Riley said. Sam turned around and faced the Slytherin table and to her horror, Snape stared longingly at her, licking his lips slightly making her shudder. "This will be fun" Sam grumbled.

The walk to the potions dungeon was long and tiring for Riley and Sam who were half asleep but the rest of the class was buzzing with excitement for their first class, even if it was with the Slytherins.

"I heard the professors really strict." Peter said, looking pale and nervous. "Well we'll just have to use some of our charm to get him to loosen up." Sirius said grinning. "No one can resist." James agreed. Riley and Sam both laughed at their ridiculous comments.

"What's his name?" Remus asked. "Professor Fream." Peter told. As they entered the classroom they all became immediately hushed. It was a dark damp room that had an odd musty smell. It wasn't at all welcoming. "I have a bad feeling about this." Riley muttered. The Slytherins were already seated. "Hurry up and take your seats" snapped a deep voice.

Emerging from an office at the front of the room stood the Potions Master. He was an intimidating figure, tall with short black hair.

Once they were all seated (with Sam in the row next to Snape much to her disgust) Professor Fream told them all to take out some quills and parchment. "I want you to all copy these instructions from the board. Read them carefully and make sure you understand them. When you are done you may get your ingredients and being to make your potion."

They copied the directions and walked to the back cupboard where the ingredients were. They were to make a shrinking solution so they took hold of all of the ingredients that they needed.

Snape edged his desk closer to Sam's who gave him a disgusted look, but he just ignored it. "Miss me?" he asked her while running his hands through his tangled grease filled hair. "Hmmm let me think. NO!" she yelled.

Professor Fream came over. "Do you have a problem, Ms. Hatt?" he asked menacingly. She nodded and pointed to Snape. "Well you two can sort out your issues. You're now potions partners" he said simply moving onto the rest of the class.

Sam, who had a look of horror plastered on her face, turned to Riley who gave her a look of sympathy. "What am I going to do?" Sam hissed at her. "Wash yourself thoroughly if he touches you?" Riley suggested.

"My lovely Samantha, our potion awaits" Snape said in a lovey dovey voice. Sam shuddered and turned back to the cauldron, staying as far away from Snape as she possibly could.

Riley turned back to her cauldron with Remus who smiled at her weakly and felt bad for Sam. This is going to be a long class, Riley thought to herself.

Sam sat in her seat and pouted. This sucks out loud she thought to herself. After 20 minutes of murdering Snape and Professor Fream in her head Sam decided she was bored. What to do...She thought.

Suddenly a light bulb went off in her head. She grinned and turned to Snape, who was staring at her lovingly. "Oh Snape." She smiled. "Yes dearest love of my life?" He asked. "How much do you love me?" She asked. "More than words can say." He said excitedly, leaning forward.

Sam held back a grimace, instead smiling seductively at him. "Well then you can do me a favor to show just how much you love me." She leaned forward and whispered into his ear. After hearing what she had to say Snape paled slightly but agreed anyway.

He stood up and walked up to Professor Fream's desk. "Yes Snape?" He asked. Snape muttered something. "What was that? Speak up I can't hear you." I want to make hot kinky love to you." He said quietly. "WHAT?" Professor Fream yelled. "I WANT TO MAKE HOT KINKY LOVE TO YOU ALL NIGHT LONG! TAKE ME IM YOURS!" Snape screamed.

The whole class roared with laughter. Taking advantage of this distraction Sam sneaked up to the Potions Masters desk pouring the shrinking potion onto his seat. I hope they don't have to swallow it for it to work. She said and then snuck back to her seat giggling insanely.

Riley and Remus laughed harder and harder while Snape was being lectured by Professor Fream. They grinned at each other and finally calmed down. Sam smiled over at the two of them.

"Best moment of my life" she said while sitting down. The class finally calmed down except for the occasional outburst of Hot Kinky Love Making from James and Sirius who were still cracking up from the outburst.

Professor Fream finally sat down in his seat. Sam leaned foreward in her seat anxiously. Suddenly Professor Fream stood up screaming that his butt was shrinking. He turned around jumping up and down trying not to panic which wasn't working.

He quickly ran out of the room towards the headmaster's office to have his buttocks fixed. At that moment Sirius and James went up to the front of the classroom. "Oh James, I want you I need you oh baby oh baby! Make Hot Kinky Love to me all night long! Take me I'm yours!" Sirius screamed making the class burst into laughter.

James played along with it and wrapped his leg around Sirius. "Oh you know I'd make love to you any time!" James said seductively. Lily looked at the two of them furiously and stormed out of the room. Riley looked over at Sam. "Looks like someone doesn't know how to have a good time" She said.

Sam looked worried. "You don't think she'll tell on me do you?" "No, but if she did I'll..." Riley began "You'll do what?" Sam asked cutting her off. "You can't do magic yet." "Yes well there are other ways of revenge" "Wow cue evil maniacal laughter."

The Bell for next class went. "History of Magic! History of Magic! La la la!" Sam sang skipping down the hall. Riley shook her head. "The most boring class ever and she's excited for it." She muttered. Sirius however said "Well the tune is quite catchy."

He ran down the hall and joined in with Sam's frolicking. "Well if you can't beat 'em join 'em." Riley shrugged and skipped off down the hall. James followed her. Only Peter and Remus remained walking sanely down the hall.

Peter because he was far too lazy and pudgy to run and Remus because he thought the whole thing was insane. "Maybe it's because they're exchange students?" Peter said to Remus. "No I think it's because they're just plain crazy."

They walked into the dusty classroom and sat down next to each other. Sam bounced in her seat. "Oooo this is so exciting" she squealed to Riley. At that moment a ghostly figment came through the black board, making the whole class gasp.

"Good Morning class I'm Professor Binns, Please take out some parchment and a quill and copy these notes." At that moment notes appeared on the blackboard and Professor Binns droned them off.

Sirius laid his head on Riley's shoulder and started snoring but Professor Binns took no notice to this. James did the same to Sam who yawned and her head fell on James. Riley's fell on Sirius' and Professor Binns kept rambling on and on.