Ryan Chappelle doesn't belong to me but the rest of his family does (sort of anyway).

Thanks to Rachel and Midge for their help!

Dedicated to Libby and all the other Chappy fans out there!

-

Well now everything dies baby that's a fact
But maybe everything that dies someday comes back
- Bruce Springsteen, Atlantic City

Sullivan's was a local tavern that Sean probably spent too much time in. Murky and dank, the late afternoon sun streaming through the open door seemed to be swallowed up by the darkness of the place. The air smelled of cigarettes and beer, Bruce Springsteen was usually on the jukebox, and right now the Yankees were on the jumbo screen. It was indistinguishable from any of the other hundreds of neighborhood bars in Brooklyn.

"I think the Yankees are going all the way this year," Sean stated.

His brother Ryan gave him a sideways look and lit his cigarette before replying, "You say that every year, Sean."

"I'm usually right."

Ryan let out a low chuckle, "Well, let's hope you are again."

The bar was almost empty today. Only eight or ten patrons, all men in jeans and their "work" shirts. Except for his brother. He was dressed in a tailored suit and silk tie, looking like some Wall Street type who had strayed too far from the city. At least he'd taken off the jacket and loosened the collar.

He had told Sean he was going to be in town for some work function, which was probably where he'd been earlier. Sean remembered when Ryan first told the rest of the family he was going to be working for the counter terrorism branch of the CIA. Most of them had been confused as to how he could go from working for the State Department to the CIA. Sean had wondered how his family could be so gullible.

Not that he had known beforehand. Sean had never had any reason to doubt his brother wasn't working for the State Department and Ryan never told him otherwise. But he read things and he knew enough to realize that the "State Department" thing had to have been a cover.

He wondered how work was going for Ryan. When a news break had come on with Vice-President Prescott giving a news conference, Sean had started talking about current events. He didn't want to know the status of the hunt for Palmer's would-be assassin or anything. He was just trying to make conversation. While he and a few other had talked about the bomb, Ryan sat there looking like he wanted to drown in his beer.

Ryan was never the most talkative guy but when it came to politics and the like he usually had more than a few opinions he was only too happy to share. Today the only thing he talked about was the Yankees and the newest tax on cigarettes.

Sean didn't mind this quiet mood too much. A quiet Ryan meant he was spared the usual interrogation about the state of his job, schooling and finances. It didn't matter that he was thirty-five years old or that Ryan wasn't his father no matter how hard he tried to be. Ryan still tried to manage his life and give his critique when he saw fit. Sean knew his brother meant well but he was just so fucking anal. It was a wonder his kids weren't completely neurotic.

"So, how are Vicky and the kids" Sean asked.

"They're ok" his brother paused to take a drink of his beer"I thought you spoke to Ryan a couple weeks ago."

"I did. He mentioned something about moving to a station in Okinawa"

Ryan shook his head"Not yet. After the wedding that's where he and Jeannie will be stationed."

"Right, right."

Sean looked back to the television and watched the news crawl along the bottom of the screen.

He turned towards his brother once more"It's a good thing the war was over before it even began. I mean, I know Ry's seen some action but that... That would have been World War III, y'know"

Ryan, still facing forward and absently rolling his cigarette between his fingers, just gave a small nod.

"Yeah. I know" he whispered.

He wasn't sure why Ryan decided to visit. Sean saw his brother maybe once or twice a year. Spoke to him on the phone maybe several times, rarely longer than few minutes. Received Christmas and Birthday cards from him but signed by Vicky's hand. Oddest thing was this was the way they both preferred it. Distance worked for them. Any more time together, without other family as a buffer, and it was uncomfortable.

Assuming they spoke to each other at all.

There was a brief period where Sean didn't speak to his brother for three years. He was twenty-six and while most of his peers were starting their lives after college he was starting his after a short stint in prison. Most of his family hadn't been surprised, Sean had been voted "Most Likely to Go to Prison" his senior year. Sean ran with the wrong crowds, was directionless, short-tempered and apathetic. He was destined for trouble and probably a short life. Most of his relatives were relieved it was just a stolen car and not anything worse.

Ryan wasn't as lenient.

It didn't matter if he was hundreds of miles away, it didn't matter if he had a demanding job and three kids of his own, his brother believed it was his duty to keep Sean on the straight and narrow. Sean was left feeling grateful for the help and smothered by the constant intrusion.

Words were exchanged and Sean finally told Ryan to leave him alone and let him live his own life.

A snarled "fine," was the only response he got from his brother.

Weeks rolled into months and then into years. He still kept in contact with Vicky and when they visited New York, Sean still saw his nieces and nephews. One day he stopped by their aunt's house and ran into Ryan there. His brother started talking to him and it was as if three years hadn't passed by them.

They still argued but not as much as before. While not mellowing exactly, Ryan seemed to accept a few things. His brother couldn't change the past, he couldn't live his life for him. Sean was content with his life now even if Ryan thought it wasn't enough and no matter what Ryan thought, he hadn't failed him somewhere along the line.

That was the key. Ryan thought he had failed somewhere even though Sean's life wasn't his responsibility and never was. After their dad left, after their mom spent her days in her room locked in her own mind, after their relatives drifted away, too busy with their own problems and their kids, Ryan was there. Fifteen going on thirty-five he decided to step into the father role for Sean, even though he was still a kid himself.

Ryan hadn't only tried to raise Sean but he had run the house as well. His brother had packed his lunch and tried to balance the checkbook. He had been the one to show up for some of the parent-teacher conferences, much to the confusion of the teachers.

Sometimes though, he'd remember that he was his big brother and not his father. That's when Ryan would play keep away with his baseball cards or toys and that's when he'd let him drive their car around an empty parking lot even though Sean was nine and could barely see over the dashboard.

That's when he could just sit next to him and watch a Yankees game without an argument.